On The Mark -- Best Quote of the Year

"Don't snap your fingers at me, lady," as said by the 79-year-old juror at the Michael Jackson trial. She was referring to the moment the alleged victim's mother was on the witness stand and, while making a comment, snapped her fingers at the jury.

You know that attitude.

It's the attitude of the guy behind me on the freeway on Sunday who was waving his arms and pointing at his speedometer (having a cow) because I was going 65 MPH. I saw the highway patrol car a mile back. The idiot behind me did not. He passed me gesturing. I had to exit, but I'm hoping he got nailed.

It's the attitude of the (many) people who race through red lights, even while there's a mother with a baby stroller about to cross the street. It's the attitude of someone who cuts in front of you in a parking lot to take the spot you were starting to pull in to. It's the attitude of the person who intentionally takes up two parking spaces, which, frankly, makes one want to dent their car vs. avoid it.

It's the attitude of the people sitting behind you in a movie theater chatting away during a movie, and then they get snippy when you politely ask them to stop. It's the attitude of...well, I could do this for hours.

This juror had the opportunity to put it right back in her face. So many times I've wished I could do the same thing. But I do get some joy in knowing that one person paid a heavy price.

Thinking Inside the Box

It's time to start thinking inside the box.

Everyone else is so fascinated with thinking outside the box, that it's become rather hum-drum. The real outside the box thinking is taking place inside the box.

With that in mind, here are some things I believe could be improved by some inside the box thinking.

Television
Forget about reality TV, dancing backwards-talking midgets, and breaking the fourth wall; sure, "Survivor" may be popular and I appreciate the comedic aspects of making celebrities eat bugs, but how about some classic comedy like "I Love Lucy"? No one ever complains that they've already seen this particular episode, in which Lucy and Ethel concoct a crazy scheme and hijinks ensue. And "Lost" has a pretty big following, but how about a show where you actually understand what's going on, or are at least clued in at the end -- something like "The Twilight Zone"? Gimme some in-the-box shows again, please.

Cars
Can we please have a new car that doesn't look like a tank? One that doesn't give you enough room to drive the entire soccer team to the Sahara for a week and subsist entirely on provisions that fit into the ample trunk space? Something that doesn't eat gas like it's not almost three bucks a gallon, and won't throw a gasket or bust a splange or gyrol a mustin (or whatever is under the hood) just after the warranty gives out; that's not too much to ask for, is it?

Zoos
I know it's wrong to poke monkeys with sticks, but apparently some zoos are now giving apes the ability to douse visitors with water when the mood strikes them. It's better than throwing poo, certainly, but who's in charge on this planet? And these fancy habitats that give the animals a sense of home and places to hide, so that when you take your kids to the zoo you find yourself narrating the trip like this: "Behind the rock live a group of the cutest baby monkeys you could ever see... if you could see them. Back there, behind those bushes, is where the lions usually are, but it's a little hard to tell from here. And over there, in that cave, is where the capybaras are sleeping." Gimme a zoo where I can see the animals -- feed them well, don't torture them -- but can I please see them?

Kids' Birthday Parties
Perish the thought that a four year-old kid should have a party at home with a cake and a clown -- now it's three hours at the local gymnaisum with a trainer leading the kids through pre-Olympic prep exercises, or a day at the local amusement park complete with commemorative hats and bags and all-you-can-eat candy, or a tea party at some crazy Victorian-looking building where everyone wears fancy girdles and eats finger sandwiches or... well, you get the picture. We are holding firm -- maybe a bounce house out front, but no crazy million-dollar parties for kids who won't remember it.

Heros All Gearing Up -- Guest Columnist

Notwithstanding professional athletes, there are plenty of real heroes in America. Amongst them is a group that is much larger than all of America’s soldiers, fire fighters, law enforcement personnel and first responders combined ‑ invisible heroes called parents of special needs children. My wife and I are part of that group.

No self-hero worship here, nor is this a self-righteous attempt to solicit sympathy. Everyone should be aware of, and thankful for, the devotion and ongoing sacrifices of these heroes. Our eldest son has high functioning autism. As late as a generation ago, many children with autism were institutionalized – either because of misdiagnosis, a dearth of treatments, stigma and/or the pure challenge of daily life for the child and his family.

Today, there are more interventions (i.e. treatments) and professionals to help all special needs parents to take care of their own kids, in their own homes. That doesn’t make it easy for us, but it takes a huge load off of society were the alternative the norm. So, lots of heroes, few of the self-aggrandizing persuasion, but all deserving of your awareness, and if you feel charitable after being over-taxed, your thanks.

On The Mark -- Patriot Act: What Nonsense I'm Reading

During the past week I've been reading various posts and comments regarding possible expansion of the Patriot Act. Most of the commentaries seem to have the common theme of "I'm not a bad guy, so I'm not worried about it. It's only the bad guys who should be worried, so it's a good thing." This is nonsense.

It's not about whether you think you're a bad person, it's about whether someone else with unlimited powers thinks you're a bad person. Watch how fast you don't like the Patriot Act when you're thrown in jail without cause or reason and not allowed to have representation for months or years. What happens if the friend you play tennis with every weekend turns out to be the next Timothy McVeigh, only with a team of militants (there are tens of thousands of them here in the U.S., we just haven't paid attention to them since 9/11)? What happens when you're locked up under suspicion because you were good friends with this suspect? Sure, this is unlikely, but the point is that the government can use the Patriot Act against anybody at any time. It's not just reserved for Muslims.

We've seen countless examples of abuse by our government. Just look at the recent arrests of the suspected terrorists in Lodi, Calif. The initial announcement stated that the suspects were targeting hospitals and food stores. But mysteriously, when the indictment was filed, this information was deleted. Why? Because they wanted to put it into the public mind that these people are evil-doers, convicted without a trial. Is there a better way to reach the public gut (maybe elementary schools, but they're probably saving that one for another time). Maybe these people are evil-doers, but it would be nice if this country would stand on what it's supposedly fighting for: democracy, justice, rights, and innocence until proven guilty -- and not pick and choose who has access to these rights.

By the way, millions of innocent, hard-working, patriotic people were sent to gulags and/or murdered by Stalin and his gang based only on the fact that Stalin et al "thought" they were bad.

Autism not Autistic Gearing Up -- a Guest Columnist

I don’t have the time… well, sufficient motivation to create and maintain my own blog, so I’m benefiting from the kindness of a friend and glomming onto his.

Now, for my inaugural offering, I want to introduce you to a concept not just close to my heart, but seared into it like a brand. I am the father of a handsome, bright and sweet 13-year-old boy who has high-functioning autism.

The point here is best illustrated by an example. If you had cancer, would you like to be known as “cancerous,” or would you want to be described as having cancer? My son isn’t autistic, he has autism. I’m impatient with verbal shortcuts when it comes to my son.

Unlike a label, He has is a description that leaves his humanity intact, reminds all that he is capable of a lot and has unknown potential in his life. He isn’t doomed in any way.

Trust me when I say I am not a bleeding-heart liberal driven by emotion, always concerned about PC talk or not hurting some minority’s feelings. I’m a moderate on all that, which makes me a Republican. But with 1 in each 166 kids in the U.S. now diagnosed with a condition on the autism spectrum, we all better get with the program.

Guantanamo Bay Prison Matter Settled

We have ways of making men talk.
Anonymous, film catch phrase, often repeated as "We have ways of making you talk."

Last week, President Bush has said his administration is "exploring all alternatives" for detaining the prisoners held at Guantanamo Bay.

Yesterday the matter was settled. Vice President Dick Cheney, said there are no present plans to move the people being held. "The important thing here to understand is that the people that are at Guantanamo are bad people," he told the Bush media network FOX, reacting to a growing chorus of calls to close the U.S. prison at Guantanamo Bay where terrorism suspects are held.

The entire Guantanamo Bay idea of prisoners undermines everything the United States is trying to accomplish in its war on terror. It shows our hypocritical stance on human rights. Torture is okay if we are doing it because we know how to torture humanely.

Cheney also told the Bush network, "We've already screened the detainees there and released a number, sent them back to their home countries. But what's left is hard core."

Case closed: the detainees are there for at least as long as a Republican administration is in place.

The Misanthrope – Sunday’s Lighter Side

Summer afternoon—summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.
Henry James (1843 - 1916), writer and critic.

Horse Racing. I enjoy my thrice-yearly interest in horseracing – Belmont Stakes, Kentucky Derby, and the Preakness – unfortunately this year, I have missed each one. I get home from playing pool with On The Mark planning to watch each race and I promptly forget each one. The problem is my two o’clock nap is too enticing and I end up neglecting the horses. Oh well, there is always next year.

My Mother. “You provide far too much information on your blog, it’s like a diary. It’s no one’s business. I like it though, because I can find out what is going on with you.” My mother is not a blog reader. She has no idea the details people provide about their lives. My mother is always on the phone, but she does not call anyone. If I don’t call her, I generally don’t hear from her. Should I neglect to call, I will hear about that. I can tell you right now, my mother is having a fit that I have divulged this much information. Right mother?

Spammers. Toner Mishap was hit by a spammer the other day. It was not that big of deal, but do these intruders think that people don’t know what they are up to? I have to believe that if you are spamming to get buyers, this is your desperate shot at getting customers before you go out of business. Buying from spammers seems a risky proposition because these are people without ethics, so how are they going to treat you as a customer and what will be the quality of their goods?

The Bronx. Wife is heading out to the Bronx to visit her parents in a few weeks. She is looking forward to seeing family and friends, but she is now a Californian until the Mets or the Knicks are playing a California team. She is looking forward to taking one day to herself, going into Manhattan, and shopping for hours. One of the family’s favorite outings when she comes to town is to head out to the Barnes and Noble and peruse, chat and drink coffee – pronounced with the appropriate accent.

July 4th. I am looking forward to a long weekend, six-day weekend if I can arrange it. I plan to see a couple of movies, nap, read and do nothing. However, I am sure Daughter will have a different idea. She’ll want to eat out, see the movies she wants to, to spend “quality” time with Dad. My idea of quality time is for us to read and watch the ballgame on television together. Even when she was a toddler, I couldn’t get her interested in napping with pop. She had to have the biggest stuff animal she could find with her for the nap. She would wait for all of two or three minutes, which is an eternity for a child. She would think I was asleep and slowly move the animal next to me, so I would think it was her and she would scamper off. Of course, after I got up I would go downstairs and pretend I was surprised and shocked about what had transpired. She would get the biggest thrill by tricking her dad.

Home and Garden

Oh, Adam was a gardener, and God who made him sees
That half a proper gardener's work is done upon his knees,
So when your work is finished, you can wash your hands and pray
For the Glory of the Garden, that it may not pass away!
Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936), writer and poet

Gardeners are a necessary luxury if you work fulltime. No longer does the corporate world work on a set schedule, nor has it for sometime. This development has required me to employ the services of a gardener(s) to keep the yards presentable.

Having a gardener used to be a very meticulous and prideful occupation, but today with the advent of blowers, weed whackers and battery operated shears, when the gardeners come to the house it is more like watching a pit crew team during a NASCAR race. Mowers, blowers and trimmers racing around the house, only it’s helter skelter not a choreographed, organized event where the clean-up man follows the trimmer or the mowers, no it’s just cut, blow trim or trim, blow and cut. Rarely is it cut, trim and blow.



The advent of the blower seems to me the downfall of the art of gardening. Nothing is picked up – dust is just blown from one side of the yard to the other. Oh sure, a few leaves are picked up, but mostly the blowers are just small tornados sweeping the dirt under the carpet, and onto the carpet literally, if I don’t close the sliding door. Just rewards to the inventor of the blower will only be served, if he is sent to hell with the sound of blowers serenading him while he is forced to live and breathe in a cloud of dust.

Another part of the gardener equation is timing. They seem to show up whenever it is convenient to them; there is no set time. However, my gardeners are rather timely, since I threatened to replace the whole team with a group that would come a day earlier (Friday as opposed to Saturday). B2 was mentioning that his gardeners arrive just as the kids are going down for their nap or during naptime, worse still show up when they are entertaining family or friends. On The Mark’s band of mowers, blowers and trimmers will leave without a second thought if the gate is locked without checking to see if anyone is home.

Finally, during the holiday season, when service providers send their clients gifts for doing business with them throughout the year, my service providers expect a gift. I may be a misanthrope, but I am not a skinflint, so I give them something we could all use – cash. However, for the inventor of the blower, I have a suggestion for where he can place his blower.

Israel May Use Sound Weapon on Settlers

Israel is considering using an unusual new weapon against Jewish settlers who resist this summer's Gaza Strip evacuation — a device that emits penetrating bursts of sound that leaves targets reeling with dizziness and nausea. Tzahal (Israel's army) calls it "the scream" (source). Here are some alternatives they could have tried instead:

The Steam
Set up a nice shvitz just outside the Gaza border.

The Dream
A giant, robotic Theodore Herzl berates settlers in a loud voice: "If you will leave, it is no dream."

The Red and Green
Christmas carols -- play 'em loud, all day, every day (and extra loud on Shabbat).

The Extreme
Blindfold the settlers and take them across the border, explaining it's part of a new reality TV show that is a cross between "Survivor" and "Lost" -- then leave them all on Cyprus.

The Team
If you've got a problem and no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.

The Cream
Ban the sales of Dr. Brown's Cream Soda in Gaza. Problem solved.

The Gleem
Free toothpaste to the first ten settlers who leave.

The Ream
This one is quite painful, but is very successful as a deterrent when widely publicized.

The Beam
The crew of the Starship Enterprise travels back in time to... right now; Scotty takes care of the rest.

The Redeem[er]
Announce that Moshiach has come, and He's waiting for everyone at the Temple Mount.

Back-up Trauma

Watch this.

A source reports back:

Did I ever mention to you that the high-end data recovery people have counselors answering their tech support lines, to get people to calm down and be able to talk rationally before passing them on to the data specialists? It makes sense, thinking what type of mindset some people are in when their powerbook gets run over by a truck or dropped underwater...

On The Mark -- 818-Trailer-Trash

This is how bad we've gotten about status in our society. It's not just about zip codes, it's also about area codes. The 310 area code covers a territory of beaches, rich homes and nice neighborhoods. There are also quite a few bad neighborhoods, too, but everyone ignores those.

When it was proposed recently that the 310 area code be split up to create a new area code, one would have thought the proposal was asking that homes be uprooted and moved to another part of the city. People are furious. Not because they have to memorize a new phone number, or plug in new info into their PDAs. It's because the 310 area code massages their egos. When someone asks for their phone numbers, and they reply 310-, it gives them a sense of superiority. A feeling that they're better than you. 818? 805? 213? 626? Poor soul, you haven't succeeded in life. Indeed, you're a lowlife. Trailer trash.

Now keeping up with the Joneses is more than having the latest Lexus. It's about the phone number you give out.

Product Names That Need to be Changed

Seriously -- apparently I love the grocery store.

The March of Folly

The chief attraction of military service has consisted and will consist in this compulsory and irreproachable idleness.
Leo Tolstoy (1828 - 1910), writer

Now here is a shocker: the military (the Army specifically) is expected to fall short of its recruiting goals. Maybe it is attributable:
(a) more police work than military operations,
(b) military vehicles not properly equipped with armor,
(c) faulty bulletproof vests, and
(d) extended duty in a war that the United States was an unnecessary aggressor.

Here is a quote that will have to go down as classic corporate doublespeak: The Army said it lowered the May target to "adjust for changing market conditions." War would certainly fall into the category of changing market conditions.

If we do not fall into a depression of sorts with lack of job opportunities forcing young people into service, I expect the military to reinstate a draft in the next decade, otherwise we could see the 1960s’ slogan come back in vogue – “what if we gave a war and no one showed up?”

On The Mark -- Like A Dog (with apologies to Kafka)

Sunday morning I flipped on NBC to watch Meet the Press only to find the French Open being telecast. I haven't watched tennis for quite a while, so I said, why not? Before my eyes was a very competitive tennis match, but also a mirror of what is happening in the Bush Administration today.

First I noticed that the Argentinean player went to the sidelines and took a good while to wipe off sweat and take a drink of water. "He can't do that," I said to myself. "This isn't a changeover." But the umpire didn't say anything. I thought to myself that these little things create bigger things, but also admonished myself for blowing it out of proportion, or so I thought.

Then the crowd starting getting a little unruly. Shouting and yelling while the players were about to serve. "My goodness," I said to my dogs, "this is starting to look like a soccer match. Why isn't the umpire asking for silence?" which he finally did, but it was too late. Then the Spanish player took his sweet time during a changeover to change rackets, drink water, etc., and the Argentinean player got pissed and started gesturing at the umpire. "Serves the umpire, right," I said to my cats. Meanwhile, the jeers and catcalls got louder and more frequent.

It was at this time that I said to myself that eventually we will see hooligans storming the court and having brawls, just like an international soccer match. Then the unbelievable happened. A wave. You know, where different sections of the crowd stand up in unison with their arms raised so that it looks like a wave moving around the stadium. This stupid activity started at the Olympics in Los Angeles in 1984.

Anyway, at this point all was lost. The players, umpire, etc., had no choice but to wait until the crowd decided it was finished. It became the crowd's event. It was no longer a championship tennis match.

People are like dogs, give them an inch and they'll try for a foot. If you don't correct them early, you'll lose control forever. For the sake of this argument, in this case the "people" metaphor is the Bush Administration. They've been given inches that they turned into feet. After five years it's turned into yards. It's no longer what's right or wrong for America, it's about what's right or wrong for them.

We've given them inches, which they are now turning into miles.

Is the Rapture here yet?

Thanks to I Hate Pat Robertson for the nifty Rapture Index. Granted, my religious beliefs don't include a Rapture, but I still find it funny.

Welcome to the Jungle

Just as Darwin discovered the law of evolution of organic matter, so Marx discovered the law of evolution of human history.
Friedrich Engels (1820 - 1895), socialist

G.M. plans to eliminate more than 20 percent of its blue-collar jobs in the United States. It would seem to me that it would make more sense to reduce executive salaries first and make them earn their salaries and bonuses by bringing the company back to profitability without continual layoffs.

General Motors Corp. chief executive Rick Wagoner received a $4.66m salary and bonus last year, an 8% decline from what he was paid in 2003, according to the automaker's annual proxy filing. In addition to his unchanged $2.2m salary and $2.46m bonus, down from $2.86m for 2003, Wagoner also received options on 400 000 GM shares and about $160 000 in other pay.

Let’s see with Wagoner’s bonus alone that could keep approximately 40 people employed making roughly $50,000 per year. The announced layoffs are just a precursor to far more insidious cuts such as going after the retired workers health benefits, which will be followed by defaulting on its promised pensions. However, let’s make this perfectly clear; Wagoner and other executive level officers will have to give up one thin dime.

Don’t look for the Bush gang to offer any relief. Hmmm. I wonder how many of those tough talking assembly line workers are happy they voted for George Bush now.

The Bush gang has offered a plan that would sharply increase premiums charged to employers that operate traditional pensions. The plan would also tighten pension-funding requirements, especially for financially weak employers.

Unfortunately, employer groups say Bush's plan would raise the cost of pensions more than necessary, encouraging employers to terminate even healthy plans.

Our social safety nets are being dismantled and the Bush gang and Republicans in Congress could not be happier. I wonder who they will blame once the people wake up and see that inequality is wider now than any time since 1929 -- the liberal media, the unions? Maybe they should look in the mirror.

On The Mark -- Numbing and Dumbing

Silly me. I should have known by now that there was a reason why the Bush Administration got ants in its pants about the Newsweek report a few weeks ago stating that U.S. military personnel had flushed the Koran down a toilet. I had a hunch that they were using this report, which Newsweek quickly retracted, for purposes other than accusing Newsweek of instigating anti-American sentiment and riots in Muslim countries. One could call the insurgency in Iraq one big riot that Newsweek had nothing to do with, but that’s for another time.

The Bush Administration’s temper tantrum was all part of its very successful campaign of Numbing and Dumbing the general public, which I’ve reported on several times in the past. They knew a negative report (last week) was coming out about how the U.S. military had improperly handled the Koran, and what better way to deaden the impact of that report against the U.S. military than to re-direct the blame in advance of the report being released (and have Newsweek fold like a bad hand in Texas Hold ‘em)?

OK, the U.S. military did not flush the Koran, or that we know of, anyway. But they did piss on it. They did step on it. They did write on it and use it in a number of improper ways. But, hey, at least they didn’t flush it down the toilet, so it’s not so bad. Ho hum. We’ve heard all this before, so what’s the big deal?

Numb the “audience,” dumb the “audience.”

I really hate to admit it, but damn, these strategic communications guys are good.

Store Wars

My two favorite things, together in one little movie -- grocery stores plus George Lucas = Store Wars! (Yes, that's Chewbroccoli on the left.)

Inconvenience Store

Went to the grocery store and noticed for the frist time that sometihing I read in a fun novel called Slick was on the mark (if you'll pardon the use of that phrase): grocery stores are intentionally inconvenient.

Let's say you have to go shopping, and let's create a list of basic essentials you might want to purchase:

bread
milk
juice
apples
toilet paper

In my local grocery store, the bread is on the far left, and the milk all the way in the back. The juice is in the far right in back, the apples are along the right wall, and the toilet paper is somewhere in the middle of the store in aisle 14 or something like that.

In order to get all of the items on my very simple list, I have to pass through almost the entire store -- forcing me past row after row of other items that I probably would never buy if not for the famed "impulse buy" factor. If grocery stores really wanted to make things easy for their customers, they'd put the necessary items up front near the checkout lanes, so I could really get in and out quickly; instead, they have me walking past sugary snacks and soda and frozen goods... walking past everything else in the store on my trek to gather just five items.

Not that I expect them to do otherwise; everyone's gotta make a buck, and this is the best way to make sure people see all that great stuff they don't need, but will probably buy if it's put within arm's reach.

Afternoon Golf Delight

Devo, where do you find these things?

Another Catholic Church Betrayal

Look through the whole history of countries professing the Romish religion, and you will uniformly find the leaven of this besetting and accursed principle of action—that the end will sanction any means.
Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772–1834), poet

Pope John Paul II’s longtime assistant has refused to burn the late pontiff’s papers as his will instructed. The assistant said that the papers are full of great riches that should be made available to the public.

I have news for the Catholic Church and the assistant, it is not up to them to decide that the deceased Pope’s papers shouldn’t be burned. If they had not checked with John Paul II before he passed away it is too late now to go against the pontiff’s will.

This is just another in a long line of betrayals by the church.

Happy 21st Birthday, Daughter

Oh my son’s my son till he gets him a wife,
But my daughter’s my daughter all her life.
Dinah Mulock Craik (1826–87), writer

It is hard to believe that 21 years ago I became a father for the first and last time. There are so many wonderful memories to recall and the time disappeared much faster than anyone had even warned me about.

During the delivery I was thinking, why couldn’t this be like the old days where they just come out to the lobby and tell the father if it was a boy or a girl. There was no doubt in our minds that Daughter was going to be a boy. Her mother wanted a girl. I wanted a boy, but we both just wanted a healthy baby. We even painted her room blue (actually, her mother and a girlfriend did; I hate doing that kind of work; I am sure there is some reason for that avoidance that I can blame on my parents).

As Daughter came into this world, her mother lifted her head, and the nurse said it was a girl, who was crying in a loud shrilly voice, but when they handed Daughter to her mother she immediately stopped crying. It was a very special and poignant moment that changed my mind about fathers in the delivery room.

Daughter is very punctual or early, and her arrival on June 6, 1984 should have been an indication of what we were in for. She was early by about a week or two. What did I know, I thought that due dates were accurate and there would be no problem going to the Dodger game when she wasn't due for another week, but alas, I missed the game with On The Mark, where first baseman Mike Marshall hit a grand slam against a good Houston team, I believe.

The other thing she arrived with besides a sense of responsibility were big flat feet and vocal chords that to this day rattle the house. Before we were sent packing from the hospital, Daughter was taken out of the nursery and given to her mother because she was waking up the other babies. Again, nothing has changed; she just keeps waking us up coming home late and saying good night dad until she gets an answer.

Daughter has a good relationship with her parents, but I would say like most girls, she is a daddy’s girl, however considering the pain I have caused her I am rather surprised. When she was a toddler, she sat down in protest while I was holding her hand, and unbeknownst to me, I pulled her arm out of place. I didn’t realize what all the crying was about until I put her down for her nap and she kept dropping her right arm that held her bottle, like a bird with a wounded wing. The mere act of putting her jacket on her to take her to the doctor’s popped the arm back in place. She was okay until her mother came home and then she milked it all again.

The most traumatic time happened as Daughter and I were returning from recycling plastic bottles and her mother was at the gym. We were riding on my bike, she was sidesaddle on the bar between the handlebars and me when her foot slipped and got caught in the spokes. I went flying head first as if shot from a cannon and Daughter stayed tangled up with the bike. I immediately picked myself up and untangled her foot from the spokes and I carried Daughter in my arms and stopped a passing car and had him take us to the hospital. The hospital staff jumped to immediately because she was five or six and her face was a bit bloody. Her mother was notified by my father and as her mother came into the hospital, she saw my mangled 10-speed bike, which a policeman was kind enough to drop off at the hospital, and thought a Mac truck had hit us. Daughter was fine and ended up with a bright pink cast on her foot and ankle for six weeks.

Daughter is tenacious. I recall when she was learning to jump rope, she stayed outside for hours practicing until she was able to coordinate her little body and conquer the timing. Her persistence continues. She was completing an open-book final in statistics, when she looked at the test and started crying because she just didn’t know how to do it. Rather than give up, she stayed up all night reviewing notes and rereading chapters and aced the test.

The days fly by and I know that her time at home is part-time at best as she is now interning during the summer and then leaves for California’s central coast and Washington, D.C. in mid-September to intern in the House of Representatives.

Happy Birthday Baby and ace the LSATs!

Happy Birthday to the Misanthrope's Daughter

Just be glad your father has more sense than Penn Jillette.

On The Mark -- Books

OK, I'll play along:

Number of Books I Own: I don't know. A lot. I have a floor-to-ceiling library in my home (hard cover); fiction is categorized by author, non-fiction by subject.

Last Book Purchased: Kremlin Rising, Vladimir Putin's Russia and the End of the Revolution, by Peter Baker and Susan Glasser.

Last Book I Read: Little Children, by Tom Perrotta

Five Books that Mean A Lot: This is a painful exercise, like forcing a parent to choose a favorite child. To make it a little easier, I'm restricting my choices to fiction:

Eugenie Grandet, by Honore de Balzac
The Leopard, by Giuseppe Tomasi di Lampedusa
Humboldt's Gift, by Saul Bellow
The Wapshot Chronicle, by John Cheever
Lonesome Dove, by Larry McMurtry

The Misanthrope – Sunday’s Lighter Side

Of all the days that's in the week
I dearly love but one day—
And that's the day that comes betwixt
A Saturday and Monday.
Henry Carey (1687 - 1743), poet and composer

What I am Listening To. I am listening to the new Van Morrison CD “Magic Time.” If you like mellow somewhat jazzy rock music Morrison has struck a nice balance. I haven’t had a lot to time to listen to it, but one song I particularly like is “Just Like Greta.” The lyrics are rather good:

Some days it gets completely crazy/And I feel like howling at the moon
Then sometime it feels so easy/Like I was born with a silver spoon

Other times you just can’t reach me/Seems like I’ve got a heart of stone
Guess I need my solitude/And I have to make it on my own

Well I guess I’m going AWOL/Disconnect my telephone
Just like Greta Garbo/I want to be alone

The other CD I am listening to is Shelby Lynn’s "Suit Yourself." The best song on that CD is “I Cry Everyday.” I would give this CD a C and Van Morrison’s a B.

Books. Earlier this week B2 suggested On The Mark and I answer questions about books. Here are my answers:

Number of Books I own: I would say close to a thousand. They are primarily hard cover first editions, many are signed.

Last Book Purchased. I am not sure, but it might be "Uncensored Views & (Re) Views" by Joyce Carol Oats.

Last Book I Read. Saturday by Ian McEwan, which is very good.

Five Books that Mean a Lot. (1) Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry (2) Watership Down by Richard Adams (3) Genius by Harold Bloom (4) Churchill by William Manchester volumes 1 & 2 (5) STP [Stones Touring Party] A Journey Through America with the Rolling Stones by Robert Greenfield

All the Best. Daughter takes the LSAT test Monday, the day she turns 21.

Oh No, Not You Again, Again

I always thought that I would know
When it was time to quit
That when I lost a step or two or three or four or five
I’d notice it
Now that I’ve arrived here safely
I find my talent has gone
Why do I go on and on and on and on and on
And on and on and on and on and on
Randy Newman, singer/ song writer, “I’m Dead (But don’t Know It” from the CD "Bad Love"

I wrote about the Rolling Stones here going on another tour, playing the same songs the same ol’ way, and charging in the neighborhood of $100 or more for tickets, and why would anyone want to see them.

That post is still generating comments: The Knitter said... You sock it to em Mick, I'm sure you're well used to being criticised by the over 25s by now!

That note made me pause and realize that the Rolling Stones have once again struck a chord with another new generation of fans. It’s true that the more mature folks have heard the Stones so much that they might a bit jaded or possibly wiser about the group continually recycling their hits, not coming up with anything groundbreaking, covering the same themes, and basically playing it safe.

I recall when I was in high school and crazy for the Stones, someone who was in his late 20s or early 30s back then, said that the Stone were tired and old. I dismissed him as not knowing anything.

Well, perhaps I too was wrong to dismiss the Stones. In the absence of any real groundbreaking music today, it makes sense for people to continue to connect to the band that was at ground zero. The Stones do have an impressive catalog of music and they have weathered on with minimal personnel changes while the Beatles’ music has endured, the band never made it out of the 1960s.

I though Daughter simply liked the Rolling Stones because she grew up listening to them and seeing them in concert (three times). She has been bugging me to see them again. I assumed it was because it was our little tradition, but I am convinced now that another generation has discovered why no one has ever argued with the group's self-proclaimed title from their 1969 live album "Get Yer Ya Ya's Out": The Greatest Rock and Roll Band in the World.

On The Mark -- Pat Who?

What a whiny, pathetic op-ed (actually more like a personal blog diary post) Pat Buchanan wrote here regarding the revelation of the great Deep Throat mystery. One would think that Richard Nixon was backstabbed and unfairly accused. Actually, one would think that Buchanan is jealous that he wasn’t Deep Throat (as some suspected) and he enjoyed being a part of the mystery that has now been ruined.

Buchanan extols Nixon’s election victories. He beats his chest about Nixon’s approval rating before the Watergate fiasco. “The liberal establishment was beside itself with hatred,” Buchanan writes, practically implying that Nixon was innocent and his demise was the fault of the liberal establishment, which includes the Washington Post, which, according to Buchanan, propagandized the antiwar movement.

He accuses the frail, ailing Deep Throat, W. Mark Felt, of following the money. Of course, why not? Woodward already has a book coming out next month about his dealings with Felt and how they worked together to bring the truth of Nixon’s illegal activities to the world. Why shouldn’t Felt get some money for his family? He’s the one who took all the risks.

Buchanan has had a pseudo political career since Watergate and he probably believes he would have one day been president if he hadn’t been on Nixon’s team as a speechwriter. The tone and content of his editorial does an excellent job of highlighting what’s wrong with the conservative base today. They have absolutely no concept of what’s right and wrong except as how it fits within their agenda.

Go crawl under a rock, Pat.

Doritos Quotes Hillel;Shammai Has No Comment

Saw it on television tonight, as I was preparing myself mentally for a day of giving back to the community (as part of my company's mandatory "good works" project) -- Doritos (a Frito-Lay product) has adopted Rabbi Hillel's famous statement as a marketing slogan:

If not now, when?

They've even got a website. [shiver]

High Score

When I was kid, my friends and I would spend countless hours talking about video games -- discussing our favorites, sharing secret tricks, and comparing high scores. I can distinctly remember listening to Robert Mamos tell us how to beat Track and Field, by holding a pen between one's fingers to more quickly hit the two buttons over and over again, getting up enough speed to set the long jump record.

Of course, we were kids then -- sixth grade, junior high school, and maybe even into high school. It's one thing to be deeply enmeshed in video games at a young age... it's another thing to be playing them when older (and there's nothing wrong with that)... and then there's my anonymous friend, who pulled me aside this past weekend to show me something on his PDA:



Yes, he'd been playng a video game and took a snapshot of his high score so that he could show it to friends.

An Easier Way to Find Porn on the Web

You know as well as I do that it's just too darned hard to find porn on the web.

Where is the Internet porn? Is it accessible only after you type in some crazy combination of search words? Or on some off-the-beaten-path web site that requires a complicated series of passwords to enter? Who knows -- it's just too hard to find. That is, until now.

The Internet's primary oversight body (known to friends as The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers) approved a plan Wednesday to create a virtual red-light district, setting the stage for pornographic Web sites to use new addresses ending in "xxx."

Finally, some easy-to-find web porn; it's about time.

[Source]

As Good As Lord of the Rings, Except for the Writing

Orson Scott Card, perhaps best known for his novel "Ender's Game" and the Xanth-like fruitfulness of its sequels, has written an insightful review of "Revenge of the Sith" and, in passing, its creator as well. Card takes Lucas to task (he titled the article "As Good As Lord of the Rings, Except for the Writing"), but is clearly still a fan:

Even though the characterization is nonexistent, the relationships like a seven-year-old's impression of how grownups act, the politics clearly the product of a mind that has never grasped history, and the science at the 'How can rivers flow north?' level, the underlying saga still manages to touch a chord.

Read the whole review here. (Thanks, PoliBlog!)

The Dying Art of LA Play Development -- Guest Columnist

By

Johnna

Last month the Mark Taper Forum shut down all of its new play development labs (Blacksmyths, Latino Theatre Initiative, Asian American, Other Voice- Disabled Writers, etc.). The new artistic director at the Taper, Michael Ritchie, describes his disappointment in the labs to the LA Weekly thusly, “With these labs I had wanted to see more product. . . .” He goes on to cite poor advocacy for production by the lab leaders (who were all summarily fired) and long development cycles as reasons the labs were disbanded. The new plan is to ‘partner’ with smaller local theaters and bring successful small theater LA premieres to the Kirk Douglas Theatre, the experimental Culver City-based arm of the Mark Taper.

The first play to be ‘moved up’ in this Off-off to Off-Broadway model is PERMANENT COLLECTION from the Greenway Arts Alliance. PERMANENT COLLECTION is an exploration of race relations written by white, male playwright Tom Gibbons and despite its doubtless merits, politically, it is sort of an awkward choice to replace selections written about minorities by actual minorities.

They told me in theater school that the theater was a dying art. And that I was apprenticing myself to a wasteland of dwindling opportunity, increasing commercialism, and unrealizable artistic promise. That was part of the romance of pursuing theater. How poignant and meaningful to be priestess of a dying religion, I thought in my exuberant twenties. Now it is just depressing. With the Taper closing the door to all play development, the burden is now placed on the ridiculously under-funded smaller theater community. So this is a good excuse for all you local readers to go and see some local, live, small theater this weekend. That is apparently the best we can do for anything that is not ‘product’ in the arts community.

Johnna is a Los Angeles based playwright, winner of the 2003 OC Weekly Best New Play Award for her play, COCKFIGHTERS. Two of her plays will be published in an anthology of naturist plays this summer. Two other plays will be produced this year.

No Deep Throat Today

If I’d written all the truth I knew for the past ten years, about 600 people — including me — would be rotting in prison cells from Rio to Seattle today. Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism.
Hunter S. Thompson (1939-2005), journalist

What if there was a Deep Throat today in the Bush gang’s center that divulged information that implicated the president, Vice President Dick Cheney and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld as conspirators to manipulating data to falsely engage the United States into the Iraq war?

You would be right, if you said the right-wing media, the Ann Coulters, the Rush Limbaughs, and the Fox cable news would be screaming about the liberal basis and the cowardice of the reporters not to name names. I honestly believe that if Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward were investigating the Bush gang today as they did the Nixon administration, Woodward and Bernstein would find themselves in jail and fined hundreds of dollars everyday they refused to reveal their source.

The poisoned atmosphere for the media today and the threat of revenge from the Bush gang, conservative groups and media consolidation has stifled hard-hitting independent journalism and scared government insiders/whistle blowers.

G. Gordon Liddy was on the one of the conservative news cable programs last night saying that former FBI official W. Mark Felt, who stepped forward Tuesday as Deep Throat was unethical. That is like Charles Manson saying that the Tate-LaBianca murders were poor anger management on his part.

I wish this were just hyperbole on my part, but unfortunately, it is not. There is no law in the U.S. Constitution that guarantees the press the right to conceal sources, but there are several areas of the law that make withholding information a crime. Hence, the pending fines and pending jail time for journalists Judith Miller, of the New York Times, and Matthew Cooper, of Time magazine for possibly knowing which government official leaked the name of a CIA spy.

According to a story last month from the Copley News Service, in 2004, 78 journalists around the world were killed in the line of duty, including four in Mexico. In Cuba, more than 20 reporters and editors are languishing in prison for covering news that Fidel Castro did not like. And in the United States, unbelievably, approximately 30 journalists face possible jail time for refusing to divulge the identities of confidential sources.

A free press is as important to our democracy as any of the documents our founding fathers wrote to keep this country strong against corrupt leaders.

On The Mark -- "Check," Russia

At first it seemed intriguing. Then I realized playing a game, even a sophisticated game like chess, is not the same thing as real life.

As reported in the LA Times recently, Garry Kasparov, the youngest chess champion in history who was also an undefeated chess champion for 10 years, is entering the game of politics in Russia. Yes, the same Kasparov who dueled to a 1-1 tie with the infamous IBM supercomputer, which has the capability of analyzing 50 billion potential moves in three minutes.

Now he’s identified his next opponent, Russian President Vladimir Putin. So far, Kasparov has only said that he wants to campaign to make sure Putin steps down in 2008 as the current constitution mandates. He fears, like many others, that Putin will re-work the constitution so that he can stay another term, or run the country behind the scenes for four years, then take over again in 2012.

He hasn’t said he actually wants to run for office, but he’s acknowledged that it’s a consideration. On the face of it, it seems that Kasparov would be a worthy opponent. He’s brilliant. Strategic. He’s made his country proud and thus has the general popularity of the people. He also could probably put together a very good campaign, particularly with his ability to be able to think “several moves” in advance.

Yet with the continuing disintegration of democracy in Russia, one has to wonder if Kasparov would actually have the opportunity to make some of those moves. Putin is not the type to wait around to knock over the King in defeat. As the former head of the KGB, he's been known to "think" ahead, too...

Patting Our Collective Backs

There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many times, and they always embarrass me—I always feel that they have not said enough.
Mark Twain (1835–1910), author

There have been several stories over the months that Toner Mishap offered opinion on, what is most gratifying is that we often lead the mainstream media in regards to commenting or in some cases even reporting. Today’s editorial in the Los Angeles Times by Robert Scheer writes about the death of Pat Tillman and on the lies the Bush gang (in my opinion) knowingly exploited and then covered up. On The Mark, wrote about Pat Tillman’s death on May 23, 2005.

We certainly don’t recommend Toner Mishap over the media, but we do get some self satisfaction on our solid news judgment. That’s it; I don’t want to break my arm patting our backs.

"Luke, I am the Holy Father."

Thanks, Devo!

Bits on Books

I got tagged with this meme by Someguy at Mystery Achievement... so here goes:

1. Total number of books I've owned.
If I don't count the books my wife has (and given her profession and proclivities, that's a massive amount), and if I guesstimate the number that have ben donated to libraries or traded at bookstores... whew. I don't know... maybe 2k? That's probably a low estimate...

2. Last book I bought.
Barbie's Fashion Show and Happy Mother's Day, Mami for my kids. I'm less a buyer than a renter, as I work next door to the central branch of the Los Angeles Public Library... so I read for free!

3. Last book I read.
Barlett and Steele's Howard Hughes: His Life and Madness

4. Five books that mean a lot to me.
Only five? How about the first five that come to mind?

1. The Torah (known to non-Jews as The Old Testament, but for me it's the only Testament)
2. Camus' The Stranger (my wife knows why)
3. Huxley's Brave New World
4. Asimov's Pebble in the Sky (first Asimov book I ever read)
5. Kishon's Unfair to Goliath

5. People who I'll infect with this meme.
The Misanthrope and On The mark, natch -- but I guess they don't count.
Hector Vex
Pirate at apjournal
Dr. Taylor at PoliBlog
Devo at Vitriolic Monkey
Jack at Random Thoughts

On The Mark -- It's Not Even Wrong If You Get Caught

It’s only wrong if you get caught. That was always a feeble rationalization for doing something illegal. Now, with some parents in the Los Angeles area, it’s gotten even worse. For them, it’s not even wrong if you get caught.

Recently, several students at a middle school were suspended for a day, along with other less serious punishments, for cheating on a homework assignment. The teachers caught on when they noticed that several of the students’ answers were exactly the same. After confronting them, the school administration gave out the suspensions, then took it one step further by posting a message on the school signboard that cheating was unacceptable.

One would think that the parents of these cheating kids would back the punishment, maybe even extend it at their homes by grounding them or something like that. Yet when interviewed by the L.A. Times (which was reporting on the parents’ protests of excessive punishment), several of these parents (anonymously) came to the defense of their kids and said it wasn’t that big of a deal and that everyone cheats, “my kid just happen to get caught.” They said the school overreacted because it was only a homework assignment, not an exam.

The reason these kids cheated is obvious, because they watch their parents do the same thing. For example, I stopped counting the times I’ve seen adults race through red lights. It’s not because they want to save a couple minutes (which is the rationale they use), it’s because they’re confident they won’t get caught.

I hope some of these kids learned a lesson at a point in their lives when the repercussions are less severe than they will be later in life. They’re certainly not learning at home.

Possibly a Good Politician

Why is it always the intelligent people who are socialists?
Alan Bennett, playwright

This is a politician I could truly get behind and support. I don’t know if I would like all his politics, but he does seem like the antidote for the government we currently have in office. The Associated Press reported this story:

The government that we have today in the White House, the House of Representatives with Tom Delay, the Senate with Bill Frist, is the most right-wing, extremist government, perhaps in the history of the United States," he tells labor activists at a May Day celebration in the century-old Labor Hall.

"Time after time they pass legislation that benefits the rich and the powerful, and they pass legislation that hurts the middle class, working people and low income people."

The crowd roars. They have come to hear this unlikely man who is likely to be the next U.S. senator from the Green Mountain State, and they love what they hear. This is Bernie Sanders at his best: one part revivalist preaching, two parts theater, all served up with a biting sarcasm.

It is vintage Bernie - literally. The words and the message have not changed in more than 30 years. Millions of times, he has decried - in a strong Brooklyn accent - what he sees as an outrageous, growing gap between the rich and the poor.

For half of those years, though, Sanders has been part of the Washington he loves to attack.

In his eighth term in the U.S. House, the independent socialist has carved out a career in Congress as a Congress-basher. Now he is setting his sights on the Senate, and everyone agrees he is the man to beat for the seat now held by the retiring Jim Jeffords.

The Misanthrope – Sunday’s Lighter Side

Holidays
Have no pity.
Eugenio Montale (1896 - 1981), poet

Memorial Day Weekend. We plan to barbeque, watch tennis, read and relax. My favorite weekend is one where there are no plans to go or be anywhere. I look forward to the long weekends and hope that the neighbors all go away and peace and quiet rein. So far, so good. There was some idiot the other night lighting firecrackers and scaring the dog, but thankfully, it didn’t last long.

HBO Special. I am very much looking forward to the HBO special that started last night and wraps up tonight. Empire Falls with Paul Newman, Ed Harris, Helen Hunt and a cast of stellar stars. If it is remotely as good as Angels in America, I will be delighted. That was an excellent movie with Al Pacino, Meryl Streep, and Emma Thompson.

LSATs. Daughter is spending this holiday weekend study for her LSATs next Monday, which also happens to be her 21st birthday. Daughter once again impresses me with her study habits as she has been hitting the books for nearly eight hours a day.

Bomb Shell. The little notice that I mentioned last weekend was a mistake to first air in the blog. Since that was the first airing of that information, I have heard from friends and family regarding that tidbit, who complained about having to hear such info via the blog. There is only one thing I can say with certainty, neither of us have any idea what may or may not happen.

No More Free Pretzels

Northwest Airlines Corp. is pulling its free pretzels from all domestic flights; now the only thing you get for free with your flight is soda. This will save the airline $2 million a year, which should just about cover the $458 million dollars they lost last quarter... in 229 years they will officially break even.

Don't fret about going hungry on their flights, though -- you can still buy a three-ounce bag of trail mix for $1.

[Source]

Feeling Bad for David Geffen

So David Geffen had to make room for the unwashed masses on his beachfront property. Apparently neighbors across HIghway 1 felt bad that they didn't have any access to the sand, and have successfully gotten Geffen to cave in and open a pathway from the highway down to the surf.

The public has a right to the land between the waves and the mean high tide line -- not everything that's got sand on it. But there's now an enforced public easement in front of Geffen's estate that has these folks virtually in his lap, leaving him without the solitude he clearly needs so desperately.

I feel bad that Geffen has surrendered his pristine, untrammelled beachfront. He bought the house, he owns most of the land around it, and it's his right to lord his money over the have-nots. Can't they just hoof it to some more public place, instead of laying out their peanut-butter-and-sand-sandwich picnics in front of his pool? Instead of letting their infants romp naked in the sea spray while he has to look on from his living room?

One of the best things about America is making lots of money and then spending it to keep others away. Hughes did it, Hearst did it, and Geffen wanted to join that club. But now that the rabble can cavort openly on Geffen's front yard, what chance will I have to clear some beautiful property all for me and my family when I strike it rich? Slim to none, I guess.

My Way or the Highway

If we ignore this threat, we invite certain blackmail and place millions of our citizens in grave danger.
George W. Bush, worst U.S. president in history

This report from the Associated Press continues passing the Bush administrations message without holding the administration accountable for the billions wasted in Iraq on a weekly basis.

Speaking out for the first time in favor of controversial base closings, President Bush said Friday the nation is wasting billions of dollars on unnecessary military facilities and needs the money for the war on terrorism.

I content that the military base closings are to blackmail senators into voting the way the Bush gang wants them to vote.

Bush, who faces opposition from many states to shutting down bases, tried to be reassuring. He said the bases would be chosen fairly and the government would do all it could to help affected communities recover.

But he made clear that the process - however painful - could not be avoided. Oh, I hope people will remember how the Bush gang is selling them down the river.

On The Mark -- Lazy Profits, Men Will Die, and Doggie Daycare

“Rebateless” Profits – I’ve always been annoyed by these companies that offer rebates on consumer items such as cell phones, TIVO, computers, etc. Each time I buy a product, I ask the salesperson why they can’t just give me the discount right then and there. Why do I have to go through this process? It’s a rhetorical question, of course, because I suspected these companies made these offers because they know must people are too lazy or forgetful to send in the documentation (like me). It was proven today, when it was reported that TIVO had a better (financial) first quarter than anticipated. The reason the company gave: Most people who bought their TIVO system did not send in for the rebate, saving the company millions of dollars.

“Men Will Die” – I saw a clip of President Bush’s commencement speech at the U.S. Naval Academy this morning. He last gave a commencement speech at the Academy soon after 9/11. In today’s speech (paraphrasing) he said -- the Marines and Sailors who graduated in the class the last time he spoke went on to become hardened battle warriors in Iraq and Afghanistan. Soon you will, too.

Wow, I wonder how many will be celebrating tonight? The only thing missing is that he didn’t say what Mel Gibson said to his troops in the movie “We Were Soldiers” before they left camp to fight in Vietnam – Men will die.

You Live Among Them – First, let me say (or remind) that I have two dogs and two cats. I consider them family when it comes to responsibility for taking care of them, but that’s where it stops. I don’t treat them like kids. On the front page of the Wall Street Journal yesterday there was an article about the challenges people face getting their animals into doggie daycare. The article reported on how animals have to go through “interviews” and tests before the proprietor decides whether or not to admit them (this is for day care, not boarding – yeah, there are some people who don’t want to leave their animals alone during the day, as if they were children). Anyway, people go through quite the trauma waiting to find out if their dog was accepted. One woman, who feared her dog may not get accepted, was quoted as saying, “She’s not gifted.” Please…

Is It Duck Soup Yet?

It is the duty of the President to propose and it is the privilege of the Congress to dispose.
Franklin D. Roosevelt (1882–1945), U.S. President

I am enjoying the fact that President Bush is not getting everything rubber stamped as congress realizes that the majority, even those who voted Republican, are not extreme conservatives. As a result Bush is being ignored on his Social Security nonsense, voted against on his stem cell theology stance and he had his nuclear option in the senate fizzle.

The Democrats forced a delay in a confirmation vote for John R. Bolton, yet another setback for President Bush's thuggish choice as U.N. ambassador. The vote to advance Bolton's nomination to an immediate confirmation vote was 56-42, so it was not all Democrats since the Republicans were four short of the 60 votes that Bolton's Republican backers needed.

According to the Washington Post, Republican Majority Leader Bill Frist said, "John Bolton, the very first issue we turned to, we got what looks to me like a filibuster. It certainly sounds like a filibuster ... it quacks like a filibuster."

I think what he meant to say was, it smells like a lame duck and it looks like a lame duck. With any luck, Bush will be duck soup.

Pinkerton on Jonah

Jay Pinkerton has another great post in his series about the final dozen books of the Bible penned by the minor prophets (or as he likes to call them, “Guess What God’s Angry About Now?” Parts One through Twelve). Here's an excerpt:

The Tarshish sailors draw straws in order to figure out which one of them angered the Lord. I wouldn’t even know where to start with how idiotic that is, so let’s just skip to the part where it works anyway.

It's worth a quick look.

Integrity: You Have It or You Don’t

Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.
Samuel Johnson (1709–84), essayist

ABC's Nightline is once again going to honor the men and women who have died in the needless war in Iraq. Ted Koppel is going to read the names of all the fallen soldiers.

Last year the Sinclair Broadcasting Company refused to allow any of its ABC affiliate stations to air such a program. God forbid that the hard facts of reality get in the way of a George Bush re-election.

Nightline continues to show journalistic integrity, while Sinclair may not even care this time around, so their argument that Nightline was being political last year was a lie to cover up Sinclair’s lack of integrity. Why am I not surprised?

Toner Mishap Due to Cockroaches

Cockroaches are eating toner in the Municipal Court 1 in Skopje, Macedonia.

Judges said that this problem is the reason why they are not able to print the records of the court sessions; they are finding cockroaches in the printers, but the heat and the laser were killing them so there were no bigger defects. However, the cockroaches have eaten the toner on several occasions.

"This is big shame for the country. This court, as the biggest court in the country, should have the best equipment instead of fighting cockroaches," one of the judges reacted.

[Source]
[Thanks, Boingboing!]

No Absolute Power for Either Side

Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Great men are almost always bad men...There is no worse heresy than that the office sanctifies the holder of it.
Lord Acton (1834 - 1902), historian

The Washington Post has an excellent article on the changing balance of power and how the Republicans have changed it in ways that may influence politics for years to come. The following are highlights from the article:

• The common theme is to consolidate influence in a small circle of Republicans and to marginalize dissenting voices that would try to impede a conservative agenda.
• House Republicans, for instance, discarded the seniority system and limited the independence and prerogatives of committee chairmen. The result is a chamber effectively run by a handful of GOP leaders. At the White House, Bush has tightened the reins on Cabinet members, centralizing the most important decisions among a tight group of West Wing loyalists. With the strong encouragement of Vice President Cheney, he has also moved to expand the amount of executive branch information that can be legally shielded from Congress, the courts and the public.
• Some of the changes, such as a more powerful executive branch, less powerful rank-and-file members of Congress and more pro-Republican courts, are likely to outlast the current president and GOP majority, they say. The Republican bid to ban the filibustering of judges made it easier for Bush to appoint conservatives to the Supreme Court and holds open the threat of future attempts to erode the most powerful tool available to the minority party in Congress.
• In 1995, the government created about 3.6 million secrets. In 2004, there more than 15.5 million, according to the government's Information Security Oversight Office. The White House attributes the rise in information the public cannot see to the security threats in a post-Sept. 11, 2001, world.
• Washington traditionalists -- veteran Republicans among them -- warn that the new breed of GOP leaders is trampling time-honored procedures designed to ensure that multiple voices have influence on the most important matters in government.

I personally find it much too scary that one party has such a strangle hold on policy. Whether it is Democrats or Republicans, we must remember absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Spector Update

The Misanthrope mentioned Phil Spector the other day in passing, and mentioned his hair... but didn't include a photo. So here it is.

Stranger Danger

One of the difficulties my wife and I face raising children in the twenty-first century is balancing the instruction of a traditional sense of manners with a healthy awareness of the realities of our world. So here are, inasmuch as I can enumerate them, some of the rules my wife and I teach our three daughters about interacting with other humans (for information on how they relate to poodles, gibbons, and rabbits, stay tuned; I may cover that eventually).

1. Don't talk to strangers.

2. You may talk to people you don't know if Mommy and Daddy tell you it's OK first.

3. It's OK for you to talk to other children playing at the park.

4. The parents of your friends are not strangers, and you should respond politely to their greetings when we take you to a friend's house for a party, and if we leave you there then you can and should talk to those parents if you need anything. But not if they just approach you at school. Unless it's just to say "hi" -- then it's OK. But if they're especially weird or asking you to do anything that seems wrong, tell Mommy and Daddy immediately.

5. The cashier and bagboy at the grocery store are strangers, even if you recognize them from last time, and you should always ask Mommy or Daddy before engaging them in conversation. That said, you can acknowledge their greetings with "hello" if you see Mommy or Daddy already talking to them. And when they say, as they always do, that you are all so pretty, you should say "thank you."

6. But they are strangers again when you're not at the grocery store. Really.

7. The doctor is not a stranger, and when Mommy and Daddy take you to an appointment you can talk to her and do what she says, because Mommy and Daddy are right there making sure everything is OK.

8. Relatives are not strangers, but that doesn't give them the right to manhandle you -- you should always be polite to family, but you don't have to kiss and hug if you don't want to. Your body is your own, and you can always tell Mommy and Daddy if someone is making you uncomfortable.

9. Mommy and Daddy reserve the right to hug and kiss you whenever we want.

On The Mark -- Hypocrisy Decade: Defining Family Values

I saw this quote

"That's unconscionable...I believe in family values"

recently by Jim Stellings, Seminole County (Florida) Republican Party Chairman and thought it perfectly defines everything about the Republican Party and how its representatives seem to think they're above everyone else regarding morals and ethics. It's easy to think that way when you keep re-defining what is right and wrong to suit your needs.

Stellings filed a defamation suit against a political rival who Stellings says falsely accused him of having been married six times. He made this comment while testifying in the suit (the fact that it even went to court is certainly worthy of a good rant).

He actually has only been married five times...

There's no man in town half as manly.

Gaston gets a bad rap. For some reason, Disney considers him one of their line-up of villains, but he's really just misunderstood -- all he wants is to woo and win the lovely Belle, and help her senile father get the help he needs.

That said, Belle's preference for the Beast over Gaston is an interesting one, for they share many of the same characteristics -- and those qualities that Gaston is proud of, the Beast has in spades. Here's an excerpt from Gaston's song:

Girls: For there's no one as burly and brawny.
Gaston: As you see, I've got biceps to spare.
LeFou: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny.
Gaston: And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair!

So let's see: burly, brawny, muscly, and hairy -- all of those qualities that we laugh at Gaston for, the Beast has in much greater proportion.

Is the lesson for Gaston that he is not rough or brutish enough? Not hairy enough? He means well, but doesn't always do the right thing -- he needs some tender, loving guidance. That's exactly the same story as the Beast -- except the Beast holds Belle against her will in his castle.

So what's up with Belle? Does she secretly like Gaston, but seeks out someone even more potentially dangerous and brutish? And does she miss the Beast when he becomes a prince again?

Clearly, Belle has some sort of a "bad boy" complex, and Gaston just wasn't bad enough for her.

Making Michael Jackson Normal

As soon as he ceased to be mad he became merely stupid. There are maladies we must not seek to cure because they alone protect us from others that are more serious.
Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922), novelist

A friend, who I shall refer to as Scribe, henceforth, called me yesterday morning telling me that only one person could make Michael Jackson look normal, pedophile issues aside. That would be the man who is known for creating the wall of sound – Phil Spector.

Spector made his name by raising pop music’s sound through overdubbing scores of musicians to create a massive roar. He produced the Beatles “Let it Be” album, the Righteous Bros, and Ike and Tina Turner, among many others. Today he is mentally gone, if here were ever here, so it seems to me. Unfortunately, there is not a picture of Spector on the Los Angeles Times link, but here is how the reporter described him:

…he strode through the criminal court building in downtown Los Angeles in high-heeled platform boots, his hair teased into a puffy blond Afro, with curls extending several inches beyond his head.

I have always heard stories about Spector carry a gun into the recording studio back in the days when rocks stars were interested in his producer talent. The other day, the judge in Spector’s trial ruled that four women could testify that Spector had threatened them with guns more than 15 years ago. Spector’s modus operandi was to threaten the women if they spurned his advances. Looking as he does in the newspaper, the only woman who would be interested in him today would be Ms. Bozo, but she probably would have more dignity than to be seen with such a nut job.

I am not sure that this blog is anonymous enough to critize Spector's attorney considering that his attorney is Bruce Cutler, who used to represent Mafia Kingpin John Gotti. Cutler endeared himself by calling the women sycophants and parasites. Clearly, they were not if they refused Spector and his gun.

On The Mark -- Keep Fighting, Al

Say what you will about Al Sharpton, but I have to give him credit for seeing through the smoke regarding Mexico’s President Vicente Fox. If you’ve been following the story (and/or my posts), you’ve seen that Fox clearly made a very disparaging remark about African-Americans a couple weeks ago. He refused to apologize for the remark.

Then Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton jumped into the picture and demanded an apology. Fox finally offered a weak response, but it wasn’t an apology, rather a “regret” he had said anything that might have hurt some feelings. Although the media, such as Associated Press, published headlines stating Fox had apologized, he hadn’t, which I pointed out previously.

Yet, Jackson was satisfied and went on his merry way, probably knowing he had gained good PR points because of the inaccurate reporting by the media (of an apology that wasn’t) and calculating the story didn't have any legs.

Sharpton, on the other hand, said I’m afraid that’s not good enough, and demanded another meeting with Fox, which just occurred. Fox stood his ground saying his comments were misinterpreted (which they weren’t; he meant exactly how those offended read his comments). Reuters quoted Sharpton as saying:

"There was no misinterpretation. It is very clear what he said and it is very clear that we understood what he said," Sharpton told reporters.

"If I step on your toe, I should apologize. I should not say that I regret that you think your foot hurts," Sharpton said.

I never thought I would say this, but I actually agree with Sharpton on something.

Super Mario's Pick-up Lines

"Are you a magic feather? Because my heart just grew a tail, and flew away."

"If you were a warp tube, I'd be in you all day."

"Are you a magic mushroom? Because you are making me grow."

"Are you a magic flower? Because you are burning me up."

"I'd rather ride you than Yoshi any day."

"If Princess Toad looked liked you, I would have killed Bowser years ago."

"If I had the choice, I would gladly spend my 100 coins on you instead of on an extra life."

"You don't have to turn on a game to play with me."

"They don't call me Super for nothing."

By Christopher Doody, for McSweeney's

On The Mark -- "Outright Lies"

A few weeks ago I wrote about Pat Tillman, the professional football player who gave up a multi-million dollar contract to fight the war on terrorism in Afghanistan. He was killed in Afghanistan, and the Bush Administration milked his death for all it was worth to build patriotism in America. This was all happening, by the way, while the Abu Ghraib torture scandal was unfolding. It was also happening while all along the Pentagon and White House knew that Tillman had died by friendly fire, but that was news the government didn’t want to get out because it would ruin the PR plan, including a nationally televised burial and other actions, such as Bush giving a special tribute via tape to Arizona Cardinal football fans prior to the presidential election.

I wrote about how the government knew he had died by friendly fire weeks in advance of telling his family and the public, and when this information was finally released it was buried deep in newspapers, if reported at all.

Fortunately, Tillman’s parents have spoken out. And it isn’t pretty. Here are some excerpts about this disgusting news (as reported by Josh White of the Washington Post):

Former NFL player Pat Tillman's family is lashing out against the Army, saying that the military's investigations into Tillman's friendly-fire death in Afghanistan last year were a sham and that Army efforts to cover up the truth have made it harder for them to deal with their loss.

More than a year after their son was shot several times by his fellow Army Rangers on a craggy hillside near the Pakistani border, Tillman's mother and father said in interviews that they believe the military and the government created a heroic tale about how their son died to foster a patriotic response across the country. They say the Army's "lies" about what happened have made them suspicious, and that they are certain they will never get the full story.

"Pat had high ideals about the country; that's why he did what he did," Mary Tillman said in her first lengthy interview since her son's death. "The military let him down. The administration let him down. It was a sign of disrespect. The fact that he was the ultimate team player and he watched his own men kill him is absolutely heartbreaking and tragic. The fact that they lied about it afterward is disgusting."

Immediately, the Army kept the soldiers on the ground quiet and told Tillman's family and the public that he was killed by enemy fire while storming a hill, barking orders to his fellow Rangers. After a public memorial service, at which Tillman received the Silver Star, the Army told Tillman's family what had really happened, that he had been killed by his own men.

Patrick Tillman Sr., a San Jose lawyer, said he is furious about what he found in the volumes of witness statements and investigative documents the Army has given to the family. He decried what he calls a "botched homicide investigation" and blames high-ranking Army officers for presenting "outright lies" to the family and to the public.

"After it happened, all the people in positions of authority went out of their way to script this," Patrick Tillman said. "They purposely interfered with the investigation, they covered it up. I think they thought they could control it, and they realized that their recruiting efforts were going to go to hell in a handbasket if the truth about his death got out. They blew up their poster boy."

That their son was famous opened up the situation to problems, the Tillmans say, in part because of the devastating public relations loss his death represented for the military. Mary Tillman says the government used her son for weeks after his death, perpetuating an untrue story to capitalize on his altruism -- just as the Abu Ghraib prison scandal was erupting publicly.

She said she was particularly offended when President Bush offered a taped memorial message to Tillman at a Cardinals football game shortly before the presidential election last fall. She again felt as though her son was being used, something he never would have wanted.

World’s First Famous Streaker has Papers Uncovered

The simplest schoolboy is now familiar with facts for which Archimedes would have sacrificed his life.
Ernest Renan (1823 - 1892), philosopher, philologist and historian

Here is a little tidbit to kick off the week Drudge Report style: The world’s first well-known streaker, Archimedes, who according to the Los Angeles Times, best known for running naked dripping wet from his bathtub through the streets of Syracuse shouting “Eureka!” after discovering the principle of water displacement in his bathtub; I am guessing it was a Saturday night.

On the more serious side, according to the article, scientists are using the powerful X-ray light emitted by the synchrotron at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center to read hidden text on a 1,000-year-old copy of the Archimedes palimpsest, a mathematical and engineering text written by the Italian philosopher in the 3rd century BC.

In case you had forgotten, Microsoft’s Encarta Reference Library provides the following:

In mechanics, Archimedes defined the principle of the lever and is credited with inventing the compound pulley. During his stay in Egypt he invented the hydraulic screw for raising water from a lower to a higher level. He is best known for discovering the law of hydrostatics, often called Archimedes' principle, which states that a body immersed in fluid loses weight equal to the weight of the amount of fluid it displaces. This discovery is said to have been made as Archimedes stepped into his bath and perceived the displaced water overflowing.

The Misanthrope – Sunday’s Lighter Side

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out.
Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592), essayist

Jazz. I made a last-minute decision to go see Frank Morgan at Catalina’s Saturday night. I am anticipating a good show. The members of the band backing Morgan are trombonist Delfeayo Marsalis, drummer Jason Marsalis, bassist John Clayton and pianist Gerald Clayton.

Finished. It only took two months of Sundays to finish “Saturday” by Ian McEwan. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I am just a slow reader and it’s difficult to make much progress reading one or two pages before falling asleep. I found the book to be very poignant and I loved the ending pages.

Currently Reading. On my nightstand now is “The Light of the Day” by Graham Swift. This is how bad my memory is getting. I apparently had started reading it, but when wife makes the bed, she kicks the book under the bed, not so hard if she sees it, she kicks it real hard if she didn’t see it and the corner of the book jabs into the arch of her foot. Anyway, while cleaning under the bed, I found the book and when I finished “Saturday” I started reading it again. A few pages into I realized that I have read this before, but I am certain that I didn’t finish it. I must have been attempting to read two books and got into the other and completely forgot about Swift’s book.

New CDs. Dave Matthews Band’s new CD “Stand Up” is rather good. It took me a few listenings to really get into it. They have a jazzy rock feel to their songs. Also, purchased Lucinda Williams new live CD “Live at the Fillmore.” She very much reminds me of a female Neil Young.

The End. The wife and I have decided to call it quits. It was not an easy decision and it was made after much deliberation. We have known for years that we didn’t have much in common, she is honest and sincere and I am a decent chap (with a personality somewhere between Becker and Larry David). While those qualities are important, alone they are not enough. Like all the Hollywood break ups where the statement issued says they will remain friends, which everyone knows is a bunch of crap. We will remain friends. There is no reason not to.

Harper Lee on Success

In the Saturday edition of the Los Angeles Times, the author of To Kill a Mockingbird was quoted on the topic of the success of her first and only novel:

I never expected any sort of success with Mockingbird... I was hoping for a quick death at the hands of the reviewers but, at the same time, I sort of hoped someone would like it enough to give me encouragement. Public encouragement. I hoped for a little, as I said, but I got rather a whole lot, and in some ways this was just about as frightening as the quick, merciful death I'd expected.

A Smart Search Engine That Isn't So Smart

Meatus?

Ran over to Kaiser to get my wife's script filled (she has some sort of bug and is on antibiotics and other stuff), and I stopped in the bathroom next to the labs.

On the wall is posted a flyer with specific, detailed instructions on how to properly wash your penis before giving a urine sample for inspection. Included in those directions is the phrase "urethral meatus." Here's my problem with it: if you need instructions on how to wash your penis, will you comprehend the phrase "urethral meatus"?

My guess: they wind up with more than a few tainted samples at this particular Kaiser.

On The Mark -- Hypocrisy Decade: Saddam's Underwear

The White House and the Pentagon have aggressively accused Newsweek of causing riots and deaths in Muslim nations, as well as damaging the reputation of the U.S. overseas, because of the column brief (since retracted) accusing the U.S. military of desecrating the Koran (which the Red Cross and other organizations will probably soon prove to be true since they've filed complaints in the past).

When photos of Saddam Hussein in his underwear while in captivity appear in a British tabloid today-- from what I understand a violation of Geneva Convention rules -- President Bush is asked if he thinks this will incite riots and further damage the U.S.'s reputation.

He responds that he doesn't think a photo would make Muslims kill and riot, that it's an ideology that makes them do it. "I don't think a photo inspires murders," Bush replied. He said Iraq's insurgents are "inspired by an ideology that is so barbaric and backwards that it's hard for many in the Western world to comprehend how they think."

Huh? Can this hypocrisy get any more blatant?

Sooo Tired

Life is one long process of getting tired.
Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902), writer, painter, and musician

This is one of those days when I don’t have enough energy to get outraged.

Democratic Leader Harry Reid and Senate Leader Bill Frist are arguing like school kids trying to get a fickle public opinion behind them and today I am going to listen to music do some household chores and read.

I am doing my best to ignore President Bush, who only cares about the wealthy. I am not going to write about how the banks are killing their customers with onerous interest rates and penalties.

I am taking a day to forget, not permanently, as they (politicians and businesses) want you to. They count on consumer stupidity; so far, we have not let them down.

Finally Friday

He who laughs on Friday will cry on Sunday.
Jean Baptiste Racine (1639 - 1699), playwright

We have Manic Monday, which B2 wrote about here. But, I’ve listed a few items about Friday. In history, there have been a number of events known as Black Friday (what do you expect from The Misanthrope something happy?):

• Black Friday (1869) - a stock market crash in the United States
• Black Friday (1919) - a riot in Glasgow stemming from industrial unrest
• Black Friday (1939) - a day of devastating fires in Australia
• Black Friday (1978) - a massacre of protesters in Iran
• Black Friday (shopping) - the day after American Thanksgiving, one of the busiest shopping days of the year.
• Bloody Friday (July 21, 1972) – a day when more than 22 bombs planted by the Irish Republican Army (IRA) in and around Belfast, Ireland resulted in nine deaths and 130 seriously injured.
• Casual Friday – a day of dressing in jeans.
• Freaky Friday -- the name of three different movies with similar plots made by the Walt Disney Company where a teenage girl and her mother switch bodies and learn to understand each other better.
• TGIF – this is occurs on most Fridays unless one has to work on Saturday or has the misfortune to encounter a Black Friday.
  

On The Mark -- Keeping It Flowing

I was at an event last weekend with a group of people and one of the activities was a 4-mile roundtrip hike. It was a hot day, with no shade, and the hike was steep, from sea level to a mountaintop.

Two people passed out from dehydration and had to be taken by ambulance to a hospital. The camp was remotely located with a one-lane road leading up to the top. When emergency crews were called, several different responders arrived to assist the fallen, probably because nobody really knew how to get to our location and they most likely just wanted to make sure someone got there.

When the fire team arrived, I asked them what they thought about the new study that said drinking too much water is dangerous (as I previously posted about). “Hogwash,” they said. “You can never drink too much water.”

When the ambulance team arrived, I asked them the same question. “Don’t believe any of it,” they all agreed, wondering what was really behind the study.

When the doctor arrived, I again asked him the same question. “Most idiotic research finding I’ve ever heard of,” he said without hesitation.

So there you have it from three independent medical provider groups. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to keep the water flowing. I know I drank a lot of it during the hike and I felt great at the end of it.

What They're Saying About The Jews

"The Jews are the cancer spreading all over the world... the Jews are a virus like AIDS hitting humankind... Jews are responsible for all wars and conflicts.... Do not ask what Germany did to the Jews but what the Jews did to Germany. True, the Germans killed and burned Jews but the Jews exaggerate the numbers to gain propaganda advantages and sympathy…"
Sheikh Ibrahim Mudairis, May 13, 2005, Gaza

The Simon Wiesenthal Center has called on Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas to dismiss the head of Palestinian Television over the airing of a live sermon from a Gaza Mosque delivered by Sheikh Ibrahim Mudairis which was filled with antisemitic attacks and denials of the Holocaust.

During the sermon, in the presence of uniformed Palestinian Authority police, the Sheik also asserted that God has predetermined that the Jewish problem will be solved with the extermination of the Jews, and that God has also predetermined that Christian-Islam interactions will end with today's Christian countries under Islam.

[Source]

Search Words

Truthful words are not beautiful; beautiful words are not truthful. Good words are not persuasive; persuasive words are not good.
Lao-Tzu (6th century BC), Chinese philosopher

The following are key search words used to find Toner Mishap. I have not added one word, I just arranged them into a freestyle poetry format. Hope you enjoy.

White hair toner money hands keyboards germs bacteria shaking
Supermarket camel fuckers kissing butt
Magic bullet express quarterback fucks
Infinite being
Chewbacca, what a wookie supernova
Oh no not you again
Chewie mp3
Oh no not you again school
Supernova chewbacca
Rolling Stones oh no not you again
Chewbacca mp3
Deep in throat ogre women
Was chewbacca a woman

Nar Wars

Episode III premieres in the States this weekend, and so in honor of that... (OK, I was going to post this anyway)... here's what some Star Wars characters would be named if they were Jewish.



Han Schlomo (are those tzitzit we see up there?!?)
Princess Leah
Jewbacca
Lou Skywalker
Yona
Obi-Wan Bar-Kokhba
Bubbe Fett