Toner Mishap

The New Bootleggers

2011-12-28T19:44:00.000-08:00

You Can’t Cash My Checks

It’s so hard to stay honest in a world that’s headed to hell
You can't make a good living these days cause the fruit just won't sell

So if you go out my back door
Just over the hill
You'll see all these plants
That's been paying my bills

But you can't cash my checks
And you can't feel this hunger
You can push me into cold water
But you can't hold me under
Jamey Johnson, singer song writer

From an article in Mother Jones magazine: The New Dealers we learn how more people than we realize are making ends meet. I personally know two such individuals who grow and sell, neither can get work for various reasons. These are the new bootleggers who are not getting rich, but are just making ends meet.

In a forthcoming post you'll see that our elected officials are only interested in their wealth, not your well being nor the country's so long as it conflicts with their money grab.

Republican and Democrat Brains

2011-12-22T09:19:00.000-08:00

"We have long had death and taxes as the two standards of inevitability. But there are those who believe that death is the preferable of the two. "At least," as one man said, "there's one advantage about death; it doesn't get worse every time Congress meets."
Erwin N. Griswold (1904–1994), appellate attorney

Draw your own conclusions. I would enjoy hearing your thoughts.

Politicians, Constituents, and the F-Bomb

2011-12-20T17:30:00.000-08:00

“When once the forms of civility are violated, there remains little hope of return to kindness or decency”
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784), poet, critic, and writer

The political media is portraying an Iowa grocery store shopper's rude comment, "you're a fucking asshole, as evidence that Newt Gingrich is falling rapidly in the polls. To me it’s just further proof of society’s lack of manners and decorum, which sadly is not news.

Gingrich is doing what any candidate for public office needs to do, which is meet and greet the people who will have an opportunity to cast their vote for or against. There is no need and indeed no excuse for such behavior.

Disgracefully politicians behave similarly: former Vice President Dick Cheney shamefully told a colleague from across the aisle to “Go fuck yourself,” in June of 2004 during a debate regarding Halliburton’s role in the reconstruction of Iraq. His boss President George W. Bush gave the middle finger salute before filming started, which was recorded.

Democrats have been just as bad. Elected leaders need to set examples for civility and for ethical behavior, not elevate contemptible and despicable behavior.

Happy Birthday Keith Richards

2011-12-17T23:59:00.000-08:00

"Some of it, you really want to unlearn."

Keith Richards, guitarist, songwriter for The Rolling Stones

Loud TV Commercials -- Are You Deaf Yet?

2011-12-15T14:09:00.000-08:00

“Speech is for the convenience of those who are hard of hearing; but there are many fine things which we cannot say if we have to shout.”
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862) essayist, poet, philosopher

FINALLY! THE JARRING, BLARING, AND ANNOYING VOLUME OF TELEVISION COMMERCIALS IS GOING TO STOP.

Sorry, I didn't mean to yell, I was trying to write about the commercials, but I couldn't hear myself think.

The Los Angeles Times reported that the FCC said cable and satellite TV companies as well as local broadcasters will be required to make sure the volume on commercials is kept in check. The rules go into effect in December 2012.

Sadly we still have to wait another year, but then one can rest their eyes and not end up like a scared cat clinging to the ceiling once the commercials start screaming at you.

Drink Up A Song List to Celebrate Prohibition's End

2011-12-05T21:04:00.000-08:00

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields, (1880 – 1946), actor

I almost missed this. Monday marked the 78th anniversary of the ratification of the 21st Amendment that officially ended Prohibition in the United States. On December 5, 1933, the federal government brought to a close a 13-year era of a failed prohibition of alcohol.

I got this idea from Mother Jones. Here is a list of drinking songs to celebrate or morn. Let’s set the scene in the wee hours of the morning with Mr. Sinatra and we’ll end on a bawdy tune with another Frank, Mr. Zappa):

One for My Baby (And One More for the Road), Count & The Orchestra Basie/Frank Sinatra, Sinatra at the Sands
Angel Eyes, Count & The Orchestra Basie/Frank Sinatra, Sinatra at the Sands
Drinking Again, Frank Sinatra, Nothing But The Best
Medley: Drink To Me Only With Thine Eyes/I Don't Care If The Sun Don't Shine Dean Martin, Rat Pack Live At The Sands
Hey Brother, Pour The Wine, Dean Martin, The Capitol Years
Have Another Drink, The Kinks, Kinks Present A Soap Opera
Alcohol, The Kinks, Muswell Hillbillies
My Alcoholic Friends, The Dresden Dolls, Yes, Virginia...
Alcohol, Barenaked Ladies, Stunt
The Drinking Song, Loudon Wainwright III, Recovery
The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me), Tom Waits Small Change
The Fourth Night of My Drinking, Drive-By Truckers, The Big To-Do
Daddy Needs a Drink, Drive-By Truckers, Brighter Than Creations Dark
I Think I'll Just Stay Here And Drink, Merle Haggard: The Best of Merle Haggard
Rudy wants to buy Yez a drink, Frank Zappa, Chunga's revenge
Moonshine Whiskey, Van Morrison, Tupelo Honey
Whiskey Can Can, Beck, One Foot In the Grave
Rye Whiskey, Punch Brothers, T Bone Burnett Presents: The Speaking Clock Revue - Live from The Beacon Theatre
Women Without Whiskey, Drive-By Truckers, Southern Rock Opera
Warm Beer and Cold Women, Tom Waits, Nighthawks at the Diner
Down Among the Wines and Spirits, Elvis Costello, Secret, Profane and Sugarcane
Elderberry Wine, Elton John, Don't Shoot Me I'm Only the Piano Player
Pass The Wine (Sophia Loren), The Rolling Stones, Exile On Main Street
Titties & Beer, Frank Zappa, Zappa In New York

Pepper Spraying, The Aftermath

2011-11-27T11:48:00.000-08:00

“Gardens are a form of autobiography”
unknown

Lt. Pike at home growing more peppers on paid leave...

Lt. Pike Deserves Infamous Notoriety

2011-11-23T05:24:00.000-08:00

"It is weakness rather than wickedness which renders men unfit to be trusted with unlimited power."
John Adams, 1788

"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free, it expects what never was and never will be."

Thomas Jefferson

The callous Lt. Pike who so willingly sprayed peaceful students at UC Davis deserves all the infamous notoriety. He was put on PAID administrative leave, which is akin to vacation.

A Personal Appreciation of Paul Simon

2011-11-12T10:55:00.000-08:00

God makes his plan

The information’s unavailable

To the mortal man

We’re working our jobs

Collect our pay

Believe we’re gliding down the highway

When in fact we’re slip slidin’ away

“Slip Slidin’ Away” written by Paul Simon, from the album “Still Cray After All These Years”

I have been familiar with Paul Simon’s music for a number of years maybe beginning in the late ‘60s and certainly continually since the mid-‘70s, when I am guessing his fame was at its pinnacle after having recently separated from his childhood friend and musical partner Art Garfunkel. I attended his concert at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium in ’76-’77. I was too musically immature to truly appreciate him and he seemed too soft rock/pop for my tastes at that time. I purchased most of his albums over the years, but rarely kept them on regular rotation.

My music listening has increased tremendously in the last few years. Most likely Apple and its iPod are responsible for my renewed focus on music. Now I focus much more on the lyrics. While I still like a good rock song my aging tastes lean toward acoustic, thoughtful, and insightful. Simon’s song writing fits the bill nicely.

Simon’s latest CD and tour titled “So Beautiful or So What” intrigued me enough to experience both. I purchased two tickets and invited my cousin from Oregon to accompany me to the April concert. The show was very good until the encore, and then it was amazing. Simon walked out by himself with an acoustic guitar and started into “The Sound of Silence.” I was stunned by the beauty and poetic nature of the song that I overlooked until now:

Hello darkness, my old friend

I've come to talk with you again

Because a vision softly creeping

Left its seeds while I was sleeping

And the vision that was planted in my brain

Still remains

Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone

Narrow streets of cobblestone

'Neath the halo of a street lamp

I turned my collar to the cold and damp

When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light

That split the night

And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw

Ten thousand people, maybe more

People talking without speaking

People hearing without listening

People writing songs that voices never share

And no one dared

Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know

Silence like a cancer grows

Hear my words that I might teach you

Take my arms that I might reach you"

But my words, like silent raindrops fell

And echoed

In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed

To the neon god they made

And the sign flashed its warning

In the words that it was forming

And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls

And tenement halls"

And whispered in the sound of silence

Prior to that concert the only version I had heard was the version with Garfunkel, it was nice just not poignant to me. The version on his latest collection of songs “Paul Simon Songwriter” is the song I heard him sing, twice and both were spellbinding. There is also a version on his album “Paul Simon Songbook” that sounds stark and angry, which also works.

While I didn’t initially appreciate the song many others have for decades. According to Wikipedia: "The Sound of Silence" is the song that propelled Simon & Garfunkel to popularity. It was written in February 1964 by Paul Simon in the aftermath of the 1963 assassination of John F. Kennedy. While the song was a hit and is the 18^th most recorded song with five million plus performances, according BMI, it still feels underrated and taken for granted.

Having now seen Simon twice in concert this year, once in April and again in October because I wanted my Love to experience the musical beauty of that song and the entire concert. The second time around I was able to better appreciate the songs and the band. The autumn show was looser and tighter. The band’s stage presence seemed more relaxed, despite guitarist/multi-instrumentalist Mark Stewart suffering a rather significant bike riding accident earlier that day.

I am making up for all the unappreciated Simon years by listening frequently to my Paul Simon playlist. A number of his songs have lyrics that are poignant and poetic. He captures a feeling that is universal in a very poetic manner. The song “I Am a Rock” is a perfect companion to “The Sound of Silence.”.

A winter's day

In a deep and dark December;

I am alone,

Gazing from my window to the streets below

On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

I've built walls,

A fortress deep and mighty,

That none may penetrate.

I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.

It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

Don't talk of love,

Well, I've heard the word before.

It's sleeping in my memory.

I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.

If I never loved I never would have cried.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

I have my books

And my poetry to protect me;

I am shielded in my armor,

Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.

I touch no one and no one touches me.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;

And an island never cries.

Simon has been a singer/song writer for nearly 50 years now, depending when on when you start the clock, and as popular, talented, and world renown yet I believe he is still underrated.

His music is very melodic and his voice is soft. Unlike Bob Dylan, Simon has not been in the news much for an infamous personal life. The only three major headlines I can think of for Simon include the breakup of Simon and Garfunkel, the divorce from Princess Lea (Carrie Fisher), and the non-controversy of his incorporating South African music into his CD; really he was exploring and pushing the limits of his creativity. So, no headlines, smooth voice, and literary lyrics combine to stifle the attention his work receives.

Additionally there is nothing racy about his lyrics. He mentions “stepping out to smoke a J” in “Late in the Evening,” and “Duncan” starts off about a couple that could win a prize for going at it all night long; “Old” references the first time he tried marijuana and his feeling of paranoia. These are genteel compared to say Dylan’s “Let’s Go Get Stoned” or many, many other songs.

The painter/photographer Chuck Close writes in the forward to Paul Simon’s book “Paul Simon Lyrics 1964-2008,” that no less a composer than Philip Glass has called Paul the greatest songwriter of our time.

And I am heading for a place of quiet

Where the sage and sweet grass grow

By a lake of scared water

From the mountain’s melted snow

“Quiet” by Paul Simon

Los Angeles in the Mist

2011-10-25T16:34:00.000-07:00

“If they'd lower the taxes and get rid of the smog and clean up the traffic mess, I really believe I'd settle here until the next earthquake”

Julius Henry "Groucho" Marx (1890[1] – 1977) comedian and film star

I realize now it’s me that cannot drive in the rain.

I need a frontal lobotomy, near-blinding cataracts, and paralysis of my right foot to prevent movement from one pedal to the next.

Fat Elvish

2011-08-15T14:42:00.000-07:00

Hello

2011-05-25T20:34:00.000-07:00

It has been a while, so I just wanted to say hello. One of these days, I'll get around to posting here rather than on FB.

"Precious Little Torah" -- Torah Dance Song Remix!

2011-02-16T09:32:00.000-08:00

Made a little something to help my synagogue promote its Torah restoration project (restoring a 350 year-old Torah that survived the Holocaust!).

Get the mp3 here!

(And to find out how you can write a letter in our Holocaust Torah, visit my synagogue's website.)

"Deer Hunter" for Kids

2011-02-01T17:02:00.001-08:00

This guy is not my favorite internet personality, but he has a point about the inappropriate nature of this kids' toy.

2010 Reading List

2011-01-03T08:59:00.000-08:00

“Real luxury is time and opportunity to read for pleasure”
Jane Brody, author

This is the time of year that I review all the books that I read through the previous year. This year I hit a personal high of 17 full books read.

Last year’s reading started with “Last Night Twisted River” by John Irving, which To paraphrase and take out of context, New York Times book critic Michiko Kakutani, called this book a deeply felt and often moving story. In my notes about the books I read, I wrote this about Irving’s novel – It was a one family saga that at times was very moving. Pay attention to the first sentence – I do recall thinking about the story for a while I after finished it, which is always a good sign for me.

“The Humbling” by Philip Roth. Roth is an amazing writer. He is credibly smooth story telling. This is another story of an aging male, this one an actor, who realizes he lost his magic. I rather enjoyed it.

“The Meaning of Night, A Confession” by Michael Cox. I was in the mood for a mystery after Irving and Roth. From my notes, this story takes place in 19^th Century England. Two murders take place in this heartbreaking story of how unfair the world can be.

“Point Omega” by Don DeLillo. This is a novella that provides no answers to the questions raised, but the language is wonderful and so are the descriptions.

“Ordinary Thunderstorms” by William Boyd. This novel captures how a life can turn around in a heartbeat from good to unbelievably bad.

“Miss O’Dell: My Hard Days and Long Nights with The Beatles, The Stones, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton and the Women They Loved” by Chris O’Dell with Katherine Ketcham. This was fun reading and provided a bit of insight into the lives of mostly The Beatles, who she worked for at Apple for a number of years. I found out that George Harrison told Ringo that he loved Ringo’s wife. Eric Clapton fell in love with George Harrison’s wife. Chris O’Dell fell in love with Leon Russell. Besides who fell for whom there was who played on whose albums.

“A Reliable Wife” by Robert Goolrick. This was one of my favorites for the year because it was the one I still continue to think about. From the dusk jacket: For Ralph Truitt, the wealthy businessman who had advertised for “a reliable wife,” this was also to be a new beginning. Years of solitude, denial, and remorse, would be erased, and Catherine Land, whoever she might be, would be the vessel of his desires, the keeper of his secrets, the means to recover what was lost.

“The Things They Carried” by Tim O’ Brien, the 20^th anniversary edition. I must have been watching The Pacific on HBO and got into a combat mood. Once I got into it I realized that I read much of it previously in various excerpted short stories about Vietnam. It captures the turmoil teenagers had to deal with regarding the draft and combat. This is very good and a classic.

“The Imperfectionists” by Tom Rachman. Each chapter is about another person in the newsroom. It started out slow, but I got into by the end. I think the reviews were a bit over the top. From the NYTimes Notable Books: This intricate novel is built around the personal stories of staff members at an improbable English-language newspaper in Rome, and of the family who founded it in the 1950s.

“Matterhorn” by Karl Marlantes is a book about second lieutenant Waino Mellas and his comrades in Barvo Company. The year is 1969 and Mellas, a reservist with an Ivy League education has been assigned to lead a rifle platoon of forty Marines, most of whom are teenagers. If you ever wondered what war was like and how you might hold up, I highly recommend this book. The story is all fiction, but you know it was written with a lot of truth from experience. Marlantes is a graduate of Yale University and a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford University. He served as a Marine in Vietnam, where he was awarded the Navy Cross, the Bronze Star, two Navy Commendation Medals for valor, two purple Hearts, and ten air medals. This was his first novel. In my notes, I wrote that it was terrible what soldiers had to endure, which included battle, the elements, and management (higher ranking officers).

“Mr. Peanut” by Adam Ross. A first novel. It’s very good and extremely well written. This is a book that needs to be read twice to see all the clues. Or, you can do what daughter does, which is read the ending first so you can see the tricks and clues as you go along.

“Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand” by Helen Simonson. A delightful old fashion love story set in an English village. I rather enjoyed and savored this book.

“The Brooklyn Follies” by Paul Auster. He captures marriage and divorce and even older kids. A truly satisfying book.

“All is Forgotten, Nothing is Lost” by Lan Samantha Chang. Another favorite that I thoroughly enjoyed; from the dusk jacket: At the renowned writing school in Bonnerville, every student is simultaneously terrified of and attracted to the charismatic and mysterious poet and professor Miranda Sturgis, whose high standards for art are both intimidating and inspiring. In my notes, I wrote that I thought this was a great companion piece to Nicholson Baker’s “The Anthropologist.”

“The Vaults” by Toby Ball. A first novel. Not sure how I found this book, it may have been by cruising through Amazon. In either case, the book was not what I expected, but not all that satisfying either. Probably the weakness of the books I read this year.

“The Fall of Giants” by Ken Follett. After thoroughly enjoying “World without End” and “Pillars of the Earth,” I had to get this first book of a planned trilogy. This starts off during World War One. Not as good as former two books, but a nice set up to the next installment.

“Sunset Park” by Paul Auster was not as an enjoyable read as "The Brooklyn Follies," but this was still interesting only because it was very easy reading. No doubt an English class would have a lot of material here for analyzing this book, but for me it was a pleasant book and capped off my 2010 reading list.

Bits and pieces

The following are the books that I read when I don't feel like reading a novel. So, the myriad books that I have picked up and put down and picked up again include:

“Secret Historian: The life and Times of Samuel Steward, Professor Tattoo Artist, and Sexual Renegade” by Justin Spring. This book was nominated for a few awards and raved about by critics. It was a mesmerizing and shocking book. Right from the dusk jacket: Drawn from the secret, never-before seen diaries, journals, and sexual records of the novelist, poet, and university professor Samuel M. Steward, Secret Historian is a sensational reconstruction of one of the most extraordinary hidden lives of the twentieth century. As an intimate fried of Gertrude Stein, Alice B. Tokias, and Thornton Wilder, Steward maintained a secret sex life from childhood on and documented his experiences in brilliantly vivid (and often funny) detail. Steward worked closely with Alfred Kinsey on his landmark sex research.

“Life” By Keith Richards. I am not sure there is anything more to be said about this book. It's interesting, but I like it only in pieces.

"Dino, Living High in the Dirty Business of Dreams" by Nick Tosches. Dean Martin's life is every bit as interesting, maybe more so, than Keith Richards. Richards was certainly more creative.

"Origins of the Specious: Myths and Misconceptions of the English Language" by Patricia T. Conner and Stewart Kellerman. When did we Americans lose our British accent? Answer: we didn't lose it. The British once spoke pretty much as we do. The English accent that we now associate with educated British speech is a relatively new phenomenon and didn't develop until after the American Revolution.

"The Grand Design" by Stephen Hawking and Leonard Mlodinow. We are more insignificant that we ever imagined.

VOTE

2010-11-02T08:12:00.001-07:00

It's your civic duty.

Doesn't anyone read the Constitution anymore?

2010-10-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

From NPR.org:

Just when you thought Christine O'Donnell, the Republican nominee for U.S. Senate in Delaware, could do nothing further to top herself, she does.

At a Tuesday morning debate with her Democratic rival Chris Coons, she appeared to be aggressively ignorant of the fact that the First Amendment requires the separation of church and state.

Making matters worse, the audience was actually filled with people with presumably more than a passing familiarity with the Constitution: law professors and students.

The Washington Post reports:

The exchange came in a debate before an audience of legal scholars and law students at Widener University Law School, as O'Donnell criticized Democratic nominee Chris Coons' position that teaching creationism in public school would violate the First Amendment by promoting religious doctrine.

Coons said private and parochial schools are free to teach creationism but that "religious doctrine doesn't belong in our public schools."

"Where in the Constitution is the separation of church and state?" O'Donnell asked him.

When Coons responded that the First Amendment bars Congress from making laws respecting the establishment of religion, O'Donnell asked: "You're telling me that's in the First Amendment?"

Her comments, in a debate aired on radio station WDEL, generated a buzz in the audience.

"You actually audibly heard the crowd gasp," Widener University political scientist Wesley Leckrone said after the debate, adding that it raised questions about O'Donnell's grasp of the Constitution.

Not only is this extraordinary because O'Donnell is running for the U.S. Senate, but she represents a political movement, the Tea Party, that has made a fierce adherence to the Constitution one of its fiercest principles.

Comics + Papercutting = Art The Work of Isaac Brynjegard-Bialik

2010-08-29T22:08:00.000-07:00

“You did WHAT to my comics?”
Fine Art Mash-up ∙ New Work by Isaac Brynjegard-Bialik

Opening Reception at Brave New World Comics
on Saturday, September 11, from 7 to 10 pm

Show Open from September 11 through October 9

Brave New World Comics
22722 Lyons Avenue
Newhall, CA 91321
661-259-4745

A Time That Will Be Nevermore

2010-07-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

“I'm in awe of people out there who deal with Alzheimer's, because they have to deal with death 10 times over, year after year.”
Marcia Wallace, actress

After I wrote my brief tribute to Fess Parker here, I soon ordered the series from Netflix, well season one, and then I outright purchased season two. As much as I can make it a routine, I come home, make dinner, and turn on Daniel Boone.

When I told people about my ritual of watching Daniel Boone, I joked and said I was reliving my childhood, but today after visiting my dad and realizing, truly realizing he is not the man he was, he is barely a shadow of himself. Add in other circumstances that have transpired in my life recently and I now recognize I wasn't kidding.

My youth was a safe time. A time of no worries other than where I would ride my bike to the next day, wondering what time my grandparents were coming over, or what toys of mine my brother borrowed without asking me, not that I would have shared if he did ask. Some mornings, I would lay in bed and hear my father drive off to work, while it was barely light, to ply his trade day in and day out to make sure we had a roof over our heads, clothes to wear, and toys to play with. In the evening, I’d see his truck turn the corner and pull into the driveway, I would go running home just to say hello. After a long week, he worked around the house throughout the weekend to make sure the place was well maintained and neat.

Tonight, I watched a Daniel Boone episode and I definitely knew it’s a way of revisiting the simpler times of my life before I understood what politics were, before I could fathom the battle of the roses, before I understood greed, and the cruelty that people and nature can inflict. Today I visited my father and it’s barely him. Bit by bit, day by day, he is rapidly (rapidly is subjective) disappearing even if he is still here physically. The happy ending of tonight’s show made it crystal clear why I escape to Boonesborough for an hour each night – because all was right in my world during this time, a time that will be nevermore.

Happy Birthday to Mrs. B2!

2010-07-14T08:11:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to the love of my life, my wonderful wife!

A Post About Dr. Demento

2010-06-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

OK, it's been *ages* since I last thought about Dr. Demento, but I used to be a big fan -- bought his vinyl, listened to his radio show on KMET on Sunday nights, became fans of bands I first heard on his program (Weird Al, I'm talking to you)...

Apparently times have not been good for him, as I discovered from Waxy.org today, and when I clicked over to his site and started to read -- well, it's not exactly news that he's not the big draw he used to be, but check out how depressed he (or his webmaster) sounds about everything; these are excerpts from recent posts

...This was a very painful decision for the Doctor...

...The broadcast has been losing money for some time...

...As CD's continue their slow fade from the marketplace, Rhino Records has notified us that the "Dr. Demento 25th Anniversary Collection" set has been discontinued, effective immediately. We are permanently out of stock and can no longer supply copies of this set...

...We have had multiple problems filling orders for the new Demento Society membership kit...

...Yes, I know it's late. It's very, very late...

You can read more over here on his website (but I'm not sure you'll want to).

Dear British Petroleum(It's Not Your Fault)

2010-06-02T11:41:00.000-07:00

Dear BP,

Don't feel bad -- it's not your fault. After all, you don't know anything about keeping oil in the ground; your job is to get it *out* of the ground.

So... good job! It's out of the ground. Now stop trying to keep the oil in the ground. Please start putting it in barrels so we can buy it.

After all, getting oil out of inconvenient places in the ground and into barrel is what you do best -- especially in challenging situations like the one we're faced with right now.

So remember -- play to your strengths, and pack up that oil!

Sincerely,
B2

P.S. If all of the extra oil on the market makes the price go down a bit, I'm sure you'll be OK; you've got some of your money put away for a rainy day, right?

Rolling Stones Warning Regarding Exile on Main St.

2010-05-18T18:33:00.000-07:00

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
Words Mick Jagger lives by. W. C. Fields 1880 – 1946), comedian.

I love the music. The “new” songs are pretty good too. But, don’t buy the deluxe package expecting to see the full-length features of “Cocksucker Blues” or “Ladies & Gentleman The Rolling Stones.” This is nothing more than a movie trailer for the two movies. The hardcover photos deliver the same old photos everyone has seen a million times.

Arizona IS on the path to Nazi Germany, regardless of what some say.

2010-05-13T08:33:00.000-07:00

Rabbi Cooper, you're wrong (as quoted in the Los Angeles Times). I know we all make comparisons to Nazi Germany far too often, but this is a case in which it's appropriate. And though I was uncomfortable saying it loud, I refuse to sit by and not say anything. First, your rights are abrogated based on how you look. The... next step could well be, "All you foreigners who are here legally can wear this badge so we know who you are." It's a dangerous, slippery slope, and if we ignore this just because improper comparisons have been made before and we're afraid to tell it like it is, we're allowing evil to flourish.

(If you want to read what he said, check it out here.)

Picasso, Einstein, Rockefeller, Hitler

2010-05-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

There aren't that many people who wind up having their name take on greater metaphorical or idiomatic meaning, such that you can say, "You're such a ___________."

I've got four names on the list so far: Picasso, Einstein, Rockefeller, Hitler. Can you think of more?

(Weirder still, Rockefeller is a name we all know, with a face most of us *don't* know.)

You Are Not My Friend

2010-04-28T22:14:00.000-07:00

You are not my friend,
I cannot pretend that you are.
Norah Jones, singer, song writer

I read an interesting post over at Random Thoughts titled “Dad’s Not Your Friend” regarding parents being friends with their kids. Even the Wall Street Journal has an article this week about parents being hip with their kids:

This less-defiant generation is influencing plots, changing what types of shows get made and prompting networks like MTV that have long specialized in youthful rebellion to rethink their approach. The new, more-sanguine shows still broach racy topics like sex, drug use and teen pregnancy, but they appease parents by always presenting consequences. Parents typically have prominent roles and just as many tawdry story lines as the teens—and look almost like older siblings. …For decades, TV has depicted teens as angst-ridden and rebellious, and parents as out-of-touch and unhip…

While I always thought I was knowledgeable, if not hip, when it came to pop culture, by my late-20s I was falling behind. When daughter was four or five, I thought Snoop Dog was a new name for Charlie Brown’s dog Snoopy. We had a short who’s the boss moment about what she could or could not listen to; I prevailed and she no longer owned a Snoop Dog tape.

I never viewed myself as daughter’s friend, buddy, chum, colleague, or comrade ever:

We share secrets – but only important family secrets: “let’s have a Ding Dong, but don’t tell mom.”

We go to sporting events – but we don’t have beers. We boo and cheer, share a hot dog and peanuts.

We might have a drink over dinner – but we don’t go drinking.

We go to concerts – but we don’t get drunk or smoke anything, but we do have a good time singing and dancing. She has seen the Rolling Stones and Ray Davies three times.

While daughter is grown, it seems financial assistance is still required. Granted, she is still in school, and that seems like it is going on forever (Bachelor’s, Master’s, and next May, a law degree). I have nothing to complain about. She is a good kid and works hard, but we are not pals.

I view friendship differently -- more informal and certainly much less responsibility. I would never want to burden her with my problems and issues. I am her father and I will always be her father. That is a relationship that is so much more meaningful and important than being her friend.

Emails from an Asshole

2010-04-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

"Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life."
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967), writer, poet

No, these are not my e-mails or my book, however, I wish I had thought of it. It very much reminds me of The Lazlo Letters by Don Novello, who also played Father Guido Sarducci on Saturday Night Live.

The Lazlo Letters were stilted letters to celebrities under the pen name of Lazlo Toth (name taken from that of Laszlo Toth, a deranged man who vandalized Michelangelo's Pietà in Rome). The letters, designed to tweak the noses of politicians and corporations, were full of deliberate misstatements of fact and inside jokes. Many of these letters received serious responses; Novello sometimes continued the charade correspondence at length, with humorous results (from Wikipedia).

I encourage for a good laugh to check out a few of the other letters. One my favorites thus far is the "Wood Chipper Rental."

Original ad:
Garage sale on Saturday April 17th from 10 am to 4 pm. Lots of clothes, furniture, electronics, and more. The address is 341 ********* Drive. Email me if you need directions. Now before you think this woman doesn't deserve it, she spammed this ad everywhere, every day. I was sick of seeing it. From Me to ***********@**********.org:

Hello,

I live a few blocks away from you and couldn't help but notice you are having a garage sale this Saturday. I am going to have to kindly ask you to change the date of your garage sale. I am having my annual world class garage sale on that day, and I do not want you to take away any of the customers that would be coming to my garage sale.

If you could hold your garage sale some time during May or June, that would be great.

Thanks,
Mike

From Karen ******** to Me: I'm not changing the date. There is plenty of room for both of our garage sales. From Me to Karen *******:

Karen,

There is not enough room for both of our garage sales. As I said earlier, my garage sale is a "world class" event. It draws in garage sale connoisseurs from all over the region. I have already booked a bartender and a string quartet for my sale on Saturday. My garage sale is a classy experience, and I do not want that experience to be ruined for customers who mistake your garage sale for mine. Now I'm not saying your garage sale isn't going to be nice, but I highly doubt you have a bartender and string quartet at your sale.

Please take down all of the ads in the neighborhood for your sale to avoid any confusion for my customers.

Mike

From Karen ******** to Me: How rude of you to even make this request. I have the right to have a garage sale when ever I want to. What gives you the nerve to think you can tell me what to do?

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen,

You are correct, you do have the right to do whatever you want. I realize that I cannot change your mind about this.

I can, however, put up this ad all over the neighborhood. Let me know what you think of it:

Best,
Mike

From Karen ******** to Me: What the hell is the matter with you? I swear if I see any of those ads in the neighborhood I will tear them down and report you. Do not speak to me again about this. You have been warned.

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen

I'm willing to cut you a deal and get you a spot on the guest list for my world class garage sale if you cancel yours.

Mike

From Karen ******* to Me: Screw you and screw your world class garage sale, you world class prick.

Exile on Main Street Redux

2010-04-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

“Of course, they look a little different, ... We all do.”
Keith Richards, Rolling Stone

Exile on Main St. is the Holy Grail of the Rollings Stones LPs, CDs, MP3s, etc. Now, The Rolling Stones are going to re-release it with 10 unearthed tracks and everything remastered.

Enjoy! I have and will

Here is the official video release of the single "Plundered My Soul":

Ice Cube - Then and Now

2010-04-15T11:11:00.001-07:00

Saw this somewhere pretty small, so I rebuilt it to share with y'all.

Klosterman:Technology vs. Freedom

2010-04-07T11:15:00.000-07:00

I'm enjoying Chuck Klosterman's latest collection of essays, Eating the Dinosaur. In particular, the essay titled "FAIL." Here's an excerpt:

When it's warm out I like to sit inside air-conditioned rooms. Yet what am I giving up in order to have a 70-degree living room in July?

Nothing that's particularly important to me.

For the air conditioner to work, I need to live in a building that has electricity, so I have to be connected to the rest of society. That's fine. That's no problem. Of course, to be accepted by that society, I have to accept the rules and laws of community living. That's fine, too. Now, to thrive and flourish and afford my electric bill, I will also have to earn money. But that's okay -- most jobs are social and many are enriching and necessary. However, the only way to earn money is to do something (or provide something) that is valued by other people. And since I don't get to decide what other people value, what I do to make a living is not really my decision. So -- in order to have air-conditioning -- I will agree to live in a specific place with other people, following whatever rules happen to exist there, all while working at a job that was constructed by someone else for their benefit.

In order to have a 70-degree living room, I give up almost everything.

Yet nothing that's particularly important to me.

What do you think? Is he crazy, or did he hit the nail on the head?

I just don't understand Japanese commercials.

2010-03-23T13:33:00.000-07:00

King of the Wild Frontier RIP

2010-03-19T14:28:00.000-07:00

Take another little piece of my heart now, baby.
Janis Joplin (1943-1970), from her famous song “Piece of my Heart”

I was saddened to see the headline of Fess Parker’s death yesterday. I was a fan of his Daniel Boone television series Thursday nights on NBC. It was sort a family hour for us. My father would watch the show with us, peel apples and cut them into slices for handing a piece in alternating order to my brother and me as Boone tricked the British and attempted to deal with the Indians fairly in Kentucky and around Boonesborough.

We felt a connection to the frontiersman because our father was from Kentucky. As a youngster I had every intention of moving to Kentucky someday. I also recall reading some lame biography of Daniel Boone from the elementary school library. Do public elementary schools have libraries today? Still, I have an interest in Daniel Boone as I purchased the 2007 biography “Boone, A Biography” by Robert Morgan.

Parker’s Davy Crockett days were a bit before my time, but once Daniel Boone became a hit Crockett was rerun occasionally on “The Wonderful World of Walt Disney” on Sunday nights and I was able to catch up on a craze that was a hit before I was born. Crockett had an influence on Boone because the Kentuckian never wore a coonskin cap.

Time marches on and as family members and TV icons leave their mortal coils, I have an even greater appreciation of our relatively brief and temporary time allotted to us.

The Good Ol' Stones

2010-03-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

The Raisin Family Celebrates Passover

2010-03-14T14:08:00.000-07:00

Time to make a buck, if I can -- this time, by selling hilarious Passover stuff! After all, why bother having a blog if you can't use it to shamelessly promote your goods and services, right? First though, because I know that explaining a joke makes it even funnier, here's the explanation (for those who may stop by this blog but not be up on their Hebrew language skills):

The cartoon predicates itself on the knowledge that at Passover we sing "Avadim Hayinu" -- translated as "we were slaves." When the Raisin family celebrates Passover, they sing the very similar-sounding "Anavim Hayinu" -- translated as "we were grapes." Get it? Hilarious! Trust me -- your rabbi will be in stitches. And it comes with a Hebrew caption or one in English transliteration (as shown above).

Well, maybe it's funny only to those of us Hebrew language geeks who think it's amusing to say "Hodu l'adonai" on Thanksgiving (someone can explain that one in the comments section if they want to).

So what can you buy with this great cartoon on it? Lots of stuff, and all right here: greeting cards, tote bags, shirts, mouse pads... But buy early, so that you get your goods before Passover!

Why Dodger Ticket Prices are Rising

2010-03-02T16:58:00.000-08:00

“Poverty wants much; but avarice, everything”
Publilius Syrus, Roman author, 1st century B.C.

Ms Dodger half owner (Jamie McCourt) listed her expenses and asked the court for $988,845. Here are some of her MONTHLY expenses:

- Expenses for Holmby Hills home - $202,715
- Expenses for L.A. home - $9,007
- Expenses for Malibu home - $151,054
- Expenses for other Malibu home - $88,106
- Expenses for Cape Cod house - $93,279
- Expenses for Willowbend house (we don't even know where that is) - $5,048
- Expenses for Vail house - $7,784
- Expenses for Cabo house - $2,530

A Long Short Story

2010-02-28T07:55:00.000-08:00

“Real luxury is time and opportunity to read for pleasure”
Jane Brody, author

Just finished Point Omega by Don DeLillo.

"Everybody remembers the killer's name, Norman Bates, but nobody remembers the victim's name. Anthony Perkins is Norman Bates, Janet Leigh is Janet Leigh."

MacGruber celebrates Havdalah

2010-02-23T11:19:00.000-08:00

Temple Ahavat Shalom is celebrating Purim this Saturday, February 27, from 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. Details at tasnorthridge.org

UGLY FURNITURE

2010-02-09T08:50:00.001-08:00

ROTFLMAO

Louie Helps the Saints March on In

2010-02-07T18:58:00.000-08:00

Charlie Brooker - How To Report The News

2010-02-05T11:56:00.001-08:00

OMG -- awesomely funny to anyone who watches/critiques/enjoys/hates the news.

Bunch Of Phonies Mourn J.D. Salinger

2010-01-29T08:34:00.000-08:00

CORNISH, NH — In this big dramatic production that didn't do anyone any good (and was pretty embarrassing, really, if you think about it), thousands upon thousands of phonies across the country mourned the death of author J.D. Salinger, who was 91 years old for crying out loud. "He had a real impact on the literary world and on millions of readers," said hot-shot English professor David Clarke, who is just like the rest of them, and even works at one of those crumby schools that rich people send their kids to so they don't have to look at them for four years. "There will never be another voice like his." Which is exactly the lousy kind of goddamn thing that people say, because really it could mean lots of things, or nothing at all even, and it's just a perfect example of why you should never tell anybody anything.

[From The Onion]

Olbermann's Sorry

2010-01-23T12:13:00.000-08:00

“All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes.”
Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British Prime Minister during World War II

Jon Stewart sets Keith Olbermann straight. Would any of the Republican pundits ever apologize or admit mistakes, not counting mistresses or pay offs to girlfriends?

Tax the Churches

2010-01-22T00:01:00.000-08:00

“When facism comes to America it will be wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross.”
Sinclair Lewis (1885-1951) writer

California’s Proposition 8 legal challenge exposes the churches not so secret attempt to influence politics and law. Religious experts who supported the church’s stance have since withdrawn from the case, I am guessing because they cracked under questioning and admitted that some churches contributed to discrimination against gays and that religion also has been used to justify discrimination against African Americans and women.

According to the LATimes article, documents unveiled that Catholic and Mormon churches played a major role in passing Proposition 8.

This further makes the case that churches need to pay taxes, both property and income.

Rainy Day in LA

2010-01-19T00:03:00.000-08:00

“The best thing one can do when it's raining is to let it rain.”
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (1807-1882), poet

The rain is a welcomed weather change in Los Angeles, expect for those who live near fire ravaged hills. We need the rain and it's unfortunate we cannot order it in moderation.

It has been coming down in proverbial buckets. I pulled the screen off the den window to attempt an interesting rain puddle picture, but instead ended up realizing the multiple colors in my front yard.

Secret Jesus Messages on U.S. Military Weapons

2010-01-18T12:24:00.000-08:00

This is what Jesus would have wanted!

See ABC News for the depth of this insidious righteousness.

Books Read in 2009

2010-01-18T09:03:00.000-08:00

“If you read a lot of books you are considered well read. But if you watch a lot of TV, you're not considered well viewed.”
Lily Tomlin, comedian, actress

I am bit behind, but here is my annual listing of books read in 2009:

1) Death with Interruptions by Jose Saramago
2) The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
3) Miles from Nowhere by Nami Mun
4) Fifty Days of Solitude by Doris Grumbach
5) Thirteen Moons by Charles Frazier
6) The Whiskey Rebels by David Liss
7) The Scarecrow by Michael Connelly
8) The Void Moon by Michael Connelly
9) The Angel’s Game by Carlos Ruiz Zafon
10) World without End by Ken Follett
11) The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson
12) The Little Book by Selden Edwards
13) The Anthologist by Nicholson Baker
14) The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets’ Nest by Stieg Larsson (not out in the U.S. until May, but you can order from Amazon UK)

The first book I completed in 2010 was Last Night in Twisted River by John Irving.

Not a bad book in the bunch.

Free Plug for Vampire Weekend

2010-01-10T20:03:00.000-08:00

I like them, so I don't mine promoting them.

Another View of the Getty

2010-01-09T00:02:00.001-08:00

Art has a double face, of expression and illusion, just like science has a double face: the reality of error and the phantom of truth.
Publilius Syrus, writer of maxims, flourished in the 1st century BC

I have been so unexpectedly absorbed by the Getty Gardens. I had been there twice previously and never noticed the gardens. There is so much to take in when you first arrive at the top of the hill and enter the main plaza.

There is the breathtaking view. Facing east you can see downtown LA and walk across the plaza and you see the Pacific Ocean. In between there is Westwood, the South Bay, and the hidden homes in the hills surrounding the 700 plus acres of the Getty conservatory.

It was a beautiful day in January that daughter and I visited. The flier listing the day’s activities suggested the Garden tour. Had I not taken the tour I may have never noticed that from one angle a row of trees stand as one. A step to the side reveals a row of trees.

Bing.com Commercial (The Shining Spoof)

2010-01-07T09:45:00.001-08:00

Awesomeness, even if I still prefer Google (and I do).

Getty Museum's Central Garden

2010-01-07T00:01:00.000-08:00

Gardening is the art that uses flowers and plants as paint, and the soil and sky as canvas.
Elizabeth Murray (1940 – 2007), painter, printmaker, and draughtsman

I spent two days at the Getty Museum, well, four plus hours on Tuesday and three hours on Wednesday, and photographed the Getty Garden. Even though the trees were stripped of leaves there was still plenty of muted color, as it turns out by design.

The garden fascinated me. I thought it was just from a photographic point of view. From the museum store I purchased the book “Plants in the Getty’s Central Garden.” I read one of the early chapters "A Gardener Meets an Artist" and I was amazed at the planning, designing, investigating, and positioning to create a garden that most people will walk through and admire, but will never investigate further the years of punctilious perfectionism that created the Central Garden and the Stream Garden.

I will share notes from the book as it relates to my photos. I love the serendipity of going to the Getty the first week into 2010 and taking pictures of trees and shrubs purposely designed to heighten winter’s effect in California’s deciduous climate. I will go back again in March, April, and May. Oh, but I want to see how the canvas will change further in June and July. The New Year is already off to a sterling start.

Enjoy the photos, but real thing is an inspiration.

411 on the 405

2010-01-04T06:45:00.001-08:00

"If it used to take you 15 minutes to get over the Sepulveda Pass, just automatically tell yourself that it will take twice as long. It's the new reality."

15 minutes? In what reality is that even possible? I would LOVE for it to only take 30 minutes to get through the Sepulveda Pass!

Check it out: three years of construction on the 405.

Musical Typewriters

2010-01-03T07:45:00.000-08:00

"I get up in the morning, torture a typewriter until it screams, then stop."
Clarence Budington Kelland (1881-1964), writer

My computer is acting like a typewriter... This morning the keys were just singing.

Are there any musicals where they make computers look fun? Most of the time they are a take off on the evil HAL from "2001."

And my all time favorite that I only discovered after B2 recommended it.

Rush Limbaugh -- A Man to Trust

2010-01-02T00:00:00.000-08:00

“The true hypocrite is the one who ceases to perceive his deception, the one who lies with sincerity”
Andre Gide, (1869-1951) writer, humanist and moralist, 1947 Nobel prize for literature

Rush Limbaugh after he was admitted to a Hawaii hospital for chest pains "found absolutely nothing wrong," according to the radio host. Obviously they did not check his head.

"The treatment I received here was the best that the world has to offer," he said. "I don't think there's one thing wrong with the American health care system. It is working just fine."

Hmm, let’s see – a multimillionaire, mouthpiece for right wing nut jobs everywhere, one of the most famous radio personalities in the country – what hospital would not provide their best care? NONE!

Maybe he should try my local hospital; my town is very conservative, hell we even have Mecca for conservatives – The Reagan Library. If he was not famous or rich, he would be assigned to the waiting room whether he came in via the ambulance or not. If he were lucky a doctor might look at him, but most likely it would be a nurse.

Yet sadly, millions of Americans, insurance companies, and drug manufacturers will agree with the blowhard conservative that there is nothing wrong with our health-care system.

Welcome 2010!

2009-12-31T08:07:00.000-08:00

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”
Oprah Winfrey, Queen of all media

As we eagerly await 2010 and head into year six at Toner Mishap, I will attempt to start writing here more frequently. Not that anyone has really complained about the lack thereof, but it’s my way to share bits and pieces of life as I see it through my tinctured glasses.

The last two years have been exceptionally busy and stressful at work. There are some very hopeful signs 2010 will be different. Potential help is on the way and other encouraging signs that the workload will be a bit more manageable.

This all means that I plan to have more personal time for writing and photography in the coming New Year and throughout the decade. I have some goals I anticipate meeting; a few that I will share are:

Grant writing – Work to become a nonprofit grant writer in my spare time, which I hope will lead to ways to spend my semi-retirement years. My goal is to write at least two grants this year.

Reading – Increase my reading total from 13-15 books a year to 20.

Riding – Get on my bike much more this year. I started out with good intentions, but emergency gallbladder surgery put a major crimp in my plans. Not sure I want to push myself for 60- or 100-miles rides, but who knows.

Publishing – I want to publish my own little iBook of photos and essays.

Spending – Spend much less in 2010.

I wish you all a very happy and healthy New Year!

Thank You Democrats!

2009-12-24T06:38:00.000-08:00

From the New York Times:

The Senate voted Thursday to reinvent the nation’s health care system, passing a bill to guarantee access to health insurance for tens of millions of Americans and to rein in health costs as proposed by President Obama.

The budget office estimates that the bill would provide coverage to 31 million uninsured people.

And Senator Sheldon Whitehouse, Democrat of Rhode Island, said the business model of the health insurance industry deserved to die.

“It deserves a stake through its cold and greedy heart,” Mr. Whitehouse said.

A State of Happiness

2009-12-22T08:50:00.000-08:00

“One should never direct people towards happiness, because happiness too is an idol of the market-place. One should direct them towards mutual affection. A beast gnawing at its prey can be happy too, but only human beings can feel affection for each other, and this is the highest achievement they can aspire to.”
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, novelist, dramatist, and historian

New research by the UK’s University of Warwick and Hamilton College in the U.S. has used the happiness levels of a million individual U.S. citizens to discover which are the best and worst states in which to live in the United States. New York and Connecticut come bottom of a life-satisfaction league table, and Hawaii and Louisiana are at the top. The analysis reveals also that happiness levels closely correlate with objective factors such as congestion and air quality across the U.S.’s 50 states.

The full report can be found here: full report or the New York Times story can be found here

1 Louisiana
2 Hawaii
3 Florida
4 Tennessee
5 Arizona
6 Mississippi
7 Montana
8 South Carolina
9 Alabama
10 Maine
11 Alaska
12 North Carolina
13 Wyoming
14 Idaho
15 South Dakota
16 Texas
17 Arkansas
18 Vermont
19 Georgia
20 Oklahoma
21 Colorado
22 Delaware
23 Utah
24 New Mexico
25 North Dakota
26 Minnesota
27 New Hampshire
28 Virginia
29 Wisconsin
30 Oregon
31 Iowa
32 Kansas
33 Nebraska
34 West Virginia
35 Kentucky
36 Washington
37 District of Columbia (not a state, just a state of confusion)
38 Missouri
39 Nevada
40 Maryland
41 Pennsylvania
42 Rhode Island
43 Massachusetts
44 Ohio
45 Illinois
46 California
47 Indiana
48 Michigan
49 New Jersey
50 Connecticut
51 New York

Please set aside one hour of your life immediately for the greatest piece of film analysis. Ever.

2009-12-18T13:23:00.001-08:00

Hat tip to dreidelhustler.

The Party of NOPE

2009-12-08T05:18:00.000-08:00

What John McCain gets for leading his party of nattering nabobs of negativism -- the party of NOPE

Wonderful Writing

2009-12-06T11:34:00.000-08:00

I unplugged my computer. “I unhooked the power cord and the two external drives that I have, and the optical mouse with the little red eye in its belly, and the speakers, and the monitors, and the scanner, and the printer, and the keyboard… and I laughed pityingly at them…My computer was as if amputated--all of its ways of connecting to the world were gone, and it was just a black obelisk with a rich man's name on it. It couldn’t reason, it couldn’t speak, it was imprisoned in its frozen memories, its self was in a state of suspension. It could not add anything to what it had done, or remember anything that it had done.”

Nicholson Baker from “The Anthologist”

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
~Author Unknown

Topics of Conversation at My Cousin's House on Any Given Holiday

2009-11-25T07:28:00.000-08:00

By Jason Rohrbacker, courtesy of McSweeney's (where you'll find a cornucopia of hilarious Thanksgiving lists).

Whose house this is and how you'll act in it

Who put a roof over your head and how you'll behave as long as you're under it

Who is not here to win any popularity contests

Who is just plain ignorant

When this conversation is over

What is an argument and what is just a discussion

Whether Democrats or Republicans are closeted child-molesting homosexual Communists

Who is in charge here

How school is going

Who has had more than enough to drink

The weather

Living with War

2009-11-11T05:32:00.000-08:00

The more we sweat in peace the less we bleed in war.
Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit (1900-1990), diplomat and politician

Dear Veterans: I truly wish there was no need for your efforts. Sadly, too frequently, that is not the case, so thank you with much admiration.

The Corner of Salvation and Damnation

2009-11-08T18:54:00.000-08:00

At least two thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity, idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political idols.
Aldous Huxley (1894 –1963), writer

I was invited to attend a Christian Fellowship church that occupied a prime one-block piece of real estate on Centinela Avenue and Venice Boulevard. It also doubles as a coffee shop. I wonder if those profits are taxed? I normally would have politely declined, but there was some policeman from Fort Apache in the Bronx speaking and wife being from the Bronx knows the area well, so what the heck. Besides, attending a church for something other than a funeral mass would be nice. Afterward we’d go to Santa Monica and walk around.

I am a cynic, what can I say. I looked around the church and saw what I would describe as pious hypocrites and lonely people looking to belong. Good for them, I wish them all well.

Eventually the Christian band finished their set, the preacher starting talking and shoehorning every topic into something about or from God. He mentioned that Friday night was a special couples marriage discussion, I wonder if that includes married gay couples?

The cop was introduced and started his sermon with a story about his little lost soul as a kid and how he was rescued from his tough neighborhood and how eventually he saved someone. Most every sentence was punctuated with an amen at the end. It was all well and good, until the end when the converted cop said something about Jesus coming and saving people unlike Muslims or Hindus. Huh? Hold everything, did I just hear this ambassador of fellowship and Christ show his prejudice? Yes, I did.

I mentioned this to my friend; he had picked up on it too. But, it’s his church and he’ll just forgive the speaker.

Wife and I eventually headed toward Santa Monica, but I kept thinking that rather than add more of a financial burden on the backs of working stiffs (California just instituted a mandatory 10.23 percent state income tax), this country needs to start taxing the churches for income and property taxes, if they are going to preach their politics and prejudices. I have no doubt that the additional tax income will close some of the budget gaps around the country. Amen!

Worst Christmas Card Ever:Three Wise Camels

2009-11-04T18:23:00.001-08:00

It features camels, singing a rewritten version of the Black Eyed Peas song, "My Humps" -- in tribute to Jesus. Please go see it here.

And consider this my early wishes to our Christian friends for a Merry Christmas.

Ready for My Close Up

2009-10-24T21:07:00.000-07:00

Nature will bear the closest inspection. She invites us to lay our eye level with her smallest leaf, and take an insect view of its plain.
Henry David Thoreau (1817–1862), writer, poet

(click on the pictures for an even closer look)

This predatory, cannibalistic insect is known by his religious name Praying Mantis. He loves aphids, which is why he was allowed to remain. However, once I got a good look at him (I am assuming he is a him, but he could be a her), it would be very difficult for me to do anything other than pick him up and move him/her to another destination.

If his cousins, termites and cockroaches, come around they will be dealt with harshly.

Obi-Wan Kenobi tells Luke how he really feels about Mos Eisley

2009-10-21T17:07:00.000-07:00

[Thanks, GeekTyrant!]

A Sunday of Sad Sinatra Songs

2009-10-18T12:29:00.000-07:00

One and the same thing can at the same time be good, bad, and indifferent, e.g., music is good to the melancholy, bad to those who mourn, and neither good nor bad to the deaf.
Baruch Spinoza (1632 – 1677), philosopher

It’s Sunday morning for another 30 minutes and I have finished the Los Angeles Times and most of the New York Times. Prior to that listened to CBS "Sunday Morning" show, which featured Andy Williams and further confirmed why I never appreciated his milquetoast interpretations of popular standards. After that was the last 40 minutes of “Meet the Press,” with the politicians doing their version of he said, she said. It’s no wonder that this country has lost its way.

And, it’s no wonder that I am feeling melancholy. I drove just short of 300 miles yesterday taking my great aunt to see a retirement home that is comparable to a four-star hotel when matched up to her nursing facility with its hallways littered with patients asleep in their wheelchairs, and the new place is a $1,000 a month less. The day ended yesterday with auntie relying on a friend’s comment about “I read recently that when you move close to relatives they don’t visit you any more.” I have news for her, she will see me far less if she stays put because I am tired of that 120-mile round trip just to play Rummy 500. So, on top of everything else today I am fatigued. As I type this, I am listening to a Frank Sinatra mix that I call Frank Sinatra (sad). I also have Frank Sinatra (swinging) and Frank Sinatra (live).

My "sad" mix starts with “As Time Goes By” followed by classics from before I was born to his version in the ‘60s and finally in the mid-‘80s. On The Mark told me how he had complied a few of those versions and compared it to a listening version of comparing newly bottled to aged wine. I followed suit and made my list, which I listen to over and over.

As Time Goes By from “Point of No Return”
Don't Worry 'bout Me “Where Are You”
Don't Worry 'bout Me “Frank Sinatra Vegas, Live At The Sands January-February 1966”
Angel Eyes “Only the Lonely”
Angel Eyes "80th year Frank at Meadows Land”
One for My Baby (And One More for the Road) “Only the Lonely”
One more for the Road (And One for My Baby) “Sinatra at the Sands”
One more for the Road “Frank at Meadows Land”
I Can't Believe I'm Losing You “Softly, As I Leave You”
Hey Look, No Cryin' “She Shot Me Down”
Yesterday “My Way”
Drinking Again “Nothing But The Best”
Empty Tables “The Reprise Collection”
Thanks for the Memory “She Shot Me Down”
The Gal That Got Away/It Never Entered My Mind “The Reprise Collection”
Send in the Clowns “The Reprise Collection”
Don't Take Your Love from Me “Sinatra and Strings”
If You Go Away “My Way”
Didn't We “My Way”
In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning “In the Wee Small Hours”
My Heart Stood Still “The Concert Sinatra”
My Heart Stood Still "Sinatra 80th"

Toner Mishap Turns 5 Welcome RJW

2009-10-13T19:54:00.000-07:00

Life is like playing a violin in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902), novelist

Toner Mishap is five years old this month, Oct. 19th to be exact. Wow, where did the time go? I have had a lot fun with this blog and over the years. I have seen the pleasure and power of the blog from results of a company afraid of the bad publicity, the spiteful revenge of an alternate juror who tried his darnest to get The Misanthrope in trouble with the courts because he didn’t agree with The Misanthrope's political philosophy, the wrath of a judge who didn’t appreciate The Misanthrope's ruminations on jury duty (not the trial, a fine line the legal system doesn’t recognize), the anger of some loyal employee at a well known electronics store, who can’t recognize that his company suffers from severe lack of customer service, broadcasting daughter’s successes, to comments from a member of The Faces and a once touring member of the Rolling Stones.

Now the page has turned from over-the-top hyperbole to more honest writing and a lot less politics. Politics has turned into a sport of my side versus your side – the country be damned, so politics will be at a minimum going forward unless of course a friend is hurt by the nonsense of such politics like Alice or my daughter who falls into the gap between my policy and being full-time law student.

In any case, this is the rambling way of introducing RJW as the newest member of Toner Mishap and the minimizing of The Misanthrope (truly a softhearted palooka that only a few recognized as such -- softhearted, not so much palooka).

I hope you stick around and come back over the months, the years, and enjoy it all in the process.

Amateur Photography

2009-10-12T15:05:00.001-07:00

What is written about a person or an event is frankly an interpretation, as are handmade visual statements, like paintings and drawings. Photographed images do not seem to be statements about the world so much as pieces of it, miniatures of reality that anyone can make or acquire.
Susan Sontag (1933 – 2004) author, literary theorist, and political activist from, "On Photography"

(U.S. High Diving Team '81, photo by RJW)

If I could have a second career it would be as a photographer. Granted, I am coming upon it a bit late, but I thoroughly enjoy it. Oh, I could put on my résumé that I was an official photographer and that I had photos published in newspapers around the country, picked up by Associated Press, The National Enquirer, but I just took it in stride being the official photographer for a major amusement park. I photographed Elton John, Rolling Stones’ keyboardist Ian McLagan, who was on ’81 tour; a runaway bear dragging its trainer on the ground; high divers; Michael Jackson wearing a Groucho Marx mustache and glasses while watching the Temptations; and various other miscellanies around the park. Sadly, I cannot find many of the photos, if I ever had them, but I did get a few good shoots. Still, I never viewed myself as a photographer.

(Mary Travers circa. '81 photo by RJW)

Photographers know what they were doing; know how to develop film, know how to mix chemicals make the photos highlight key aspects of the picture, and know lighting and exposure settings. Me, I would, and still do, take numerous photos hoping that one of the photos on the contact sheet spying it through a photographer’s loop would turn out once I sent it out to be developed.

However, today, I have a greater appreciation of the art of photography and realize how little I know, and today the camera is almost idiot proof and has so many features that you can experiment and even take pictures of something photographed numerous times and still eke out something original. Because I have the Toner Mishap soapbox, I can share my amateur photos with the world and I will as times goes by.

Thank you for your indulgence.

(Smothers Brothers, Tommy and Dick circa. '81, photo by RJW)

by RJW

A Brief Road Trip

2009-10-07T13:07:00.000-07:00

“If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there”
proverb

The long and winding road that runs along an awe-inspiring stretch of coast sends worries and anxieties straight over the cliff and allows one to appreciate and enjoy the picturesque landscape that every turn reveals on California’s Highway 1.

While I had planned to keep driving up to Oregon, the lovely San Francisco beckon me to stay, so I did since I had no agenda. It had been decades since I last visited San Francisco on my own time and that makes all the difference. The city by the bay is everything Los Angeles is not: vibrate, crisp, and fresh.

Those adjectives apply to the food too, which is delicious and even a sidewalk café features fabulous fare without having to call a friend of a friend to get into the newest food spot. Specialty stores such as The Whiskey Shop, Bill’s Khakis, Orvis, and many others dot the sidewalks. Cable cars or more like electric buses power about the city without belching clouds of exhaust or blocking traffic as it zigzags from curb to pavement.

A day and a night was enough to clear my head, any longer and coming back to Los Angeles would be even tougher. The ride home on Highway 1 was long and leisurely because I stopped to snap photos at every turnout since each location looked spectacular and gorgeous. Once I reviewed them on the computer, I thought every person with a camera must have a sunset picture and if you have visited any coast there are water shots, bridges, so I have nothing original, but I now have my requisite sunset, lighthouse, and ocean shots.

by RJW

Crosby, Stills and NashAmazingly Good

2009-10-05T07:06:00.000-07:00

"Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something."
Frank Zappa (1940 – 1993), composer, electric guitarist, record producer, and film director

I am still in awe of the Crosby, Stills & Nash concert at the Greek Theater on Saturday, Oct. 3; those three men are incredibly talented singers, songwriters, and musicians. There is something about their three-part harmony that has a calming effect. The trio entered the stage to a standing ovation. Forty years ago they played the Greek for a seven-night, sold-out engagement. Graham Nash referred to the difference between now and then stating that there was no one in the trees this time around.

The show opened with “Helplessly Hoping” and “Wasted on the Way.” In the early going of the nearly two-and-a-half-hour concert David Crosby told us they were going to experiment and play some of their favorites by other artists that may appear on a new CD they are working on. The covers set started with the Rolling Stones’ “Ruby Tuesday,” and included James Taylor’s “You Can Close Your Eyes,” Bob Dylan’s “Girl from the North Country,” Allman Brothers’ “Midnight Rider,” and the Grateful Dead’s “Uncle John’s Band.” They also preformed: “Guinevere,” “A Dream For You,” “In Your Name,” “Our House,” then there was a short break.

As they promised the second half rocked with Stephen Stills singing and playing legendary guitar on “Love the One You’re With,” “Rock & Roll Woman” and throughout the second half. Stills is overlooked as a leading guitarist. Graham also mentioned that Stills played great guitar and had throughout the entire tour.

One of the many highlights of the evening was Crosby’s bluesy voice belting out “Almost Cut My Hair,” “Long Time Gone,” and “Wooden Ships” backed by Stills blistering guitar work.

Our seats were in the fourth row, DD center. It was an intimate setting with a barefooted Nash sipping red wine between songs, high fiving the people in front of us. I have seen a number of concerts over the years, but this easily ranks in the top five. And, adding to the wonderful evening, my friend R.O. let us park in his driveway, just a block or two away from the theater, so after the show it was a short walk down the hill into the car and zooming home listening to more CSN.

Note: Hendrix and I cut a bunch of stuff together. He was a very dear friend of mine, we were lonely in London together and hung out a lot. I left England suddenly, and years later I learned from Mitch Mitchell that Jimi had been looking for me everywhere – wanted me to join the Experience as the bass player, which would have been my greatest dream in life! It had something to do with a manager deciding it was a wrong career move and said, “we don’t know where he is.” I learned to play lead guitar from Jimi, he showed me the scales and said things like, “You begin by thinking about the chord position and base your improvisations on that Or he’d make some little remark like, F sharp is really cool, and we’d improvise until the inspiration began to ebb, then he’d look at me and say, “you drive.” You had to hear that cat play acoustic guitar! We once jammed for about five days, one long marathon session in my beach house in Malibu. The sheriff’s deputy overheard our guitar playing. When he found out it was us he asked permission to park his police car directly outside the house so he could listen in while he fielded radio calls. Told us not to worry about a thing, he’d be looking out for us. Stephen Stills, song notes on “Old Times Good Times” from the CSN box set.

Heart Attack and Grand

2009-10-04T10:50:00.000-07:00

Heart Attack and Grand
Turn out more, turn out more
Hours piled high, looking for the door
It’s all about the deal and the dollar
And the workers do nothing but whimper and holler
Management pushes its brand
Everyone sees a tired corpse on heart attack and Grand

Tenacity

2009-10-03T00:01:00.000-07:00

“The greatest tragedy in America is not the destruction of our natural resources, though that tragedy is great. The truly great tragedy is the destruction of our human resources by our failure to fully utilize our abilities, which means that most men and women go to their graves with their music still in them.”
Oliver Wendell Holmes (1841–1935),justice of the Supreme Court of the United States

Reasons why not to listen to HR.

Tip of the hat to Random Thoughts

Republican Health Care Plan

2009-09-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

“Great physicians and nurses, skilled, caring and unparalleled in their training, intervened in my life and probably saved it. I was lucky but other Americans are not. It is time to speak again and stand again for the ideal that in the richest nation ever on this planet, it is wrong for 41 million Americans, most of them in working families, to worry at night and wake up in the morning without the basic protection of health insurance.”
Senator John Kerry

Insurance Death Panels

2009-09-29T19:54:00.000-07:00

This is an outrage! Sadly, whatever health care that is passed, most likely a watered down pile of crap that Republicans will point to and say I told you so, even though it was their absolute NO to everything that caused the plan to fail. Just a prediction.

Why am I angry? I encourage you to read Alice's insurance story over at Through a Looking Glass. Here is a snippet:

Our system is broken, clearly, but I don't have much faith in so-called reform, despite being a yellow-dog Democrat. Even with "insurance," we already have rationed health care, and I can't imagine the next round will cover my health needs any better than the crappy system in which I am enmeshed.

One of my closest friend's mother was diagnosed with lymphoma last week. This week, she's already gone for round one of chemo. She is 80, and recently she said, "old age is not for the faint-hearted." Her daughter, a veteran of the cancer wars, is a great advocate for her.

For the rest of us, however, her mom would say, 'It's a great life if you don't weaken."

Our system is indeed broke, we don't need no stinkin' Death Panels, we already have the insurance companies for that.

New(ish) CDs

2009-09-29T00:08:00.000-07:00

“Music is what feelings sound like.”

Some of the new music I purchased in the past few weeks include:

The Bright Mississippi by Allen Toussaint – A fabulously relaxing New Orleans jazz CD by an elegant artist. I discovered Toussaint through Elvis Costello’s CD with him “The River in Reverse.” Toussaint plays piano and I found his take on Duke Ellington’s “Solitude” to evoke a more pensive and less melancholy feel. Toussaint, 71, has been around for many years as a producer, musician, and songwriter. This is one of my recent favorite CDs. Songs include: “Egyptian Fantasy,” “Dear Old Southland,” “St. James Infirmary,” “Singin’ the Blues,” “West End Blues,” “Blue Drag,” “Just a Closer Walk with Thee,” “Bright Mississippi,” “Day Dream,” “Long, Long Journey,” and “Solitude.”

The Blue Ridge Rangers Rides Again by John Fogerty – It just shy of being too much rockabilly for me, despite its country charms there are some very enjoyable songs, such as “When Will I Be Loved,” made famous by Linda Ronstadt, anyone still remember her? This version includes Bruce Springsteen, which adds a rugged touch, as John Fogerty said in the CD review in the Wall Street Journal. Other songs include: Credence Clearwater Revival’s "Change in the Weather," “Garden Party,” which features Don Henley and it’s not easy to tell the difference between this version and Ricky Nelson’s original; Paradise, Never Ending Song of Love, I Don't Care (Just As Long As You Love Me), Back Home Again, I'll Be There (If Ever You Want Me), Moody River, Heaven's Just a Sin Away, Fallin' Fallin' Fallin', Haunted House, and Blue Ridge Mountain Blues (From the Concert At Royal Albert Hall "Comin Down The Road").

Monsters of Folk by Conor Oberst, Jim James, M. Ward, Mike Mogis – This is a nice mellow, winterly collection of songs, it’s too bad we don’t have much of a winter in Southern California, but there will be plenty of fireplace nights of reading and doing puzzles in which to enjoy. I liked M. Ward’s solo efforts better, such as his last one “Hold Time," which came out in February. This is not bad, just not worth all the publicity it has generated. I would list the songs but it doesn’t matter, you wouldn’t know them anyway.

Hidden in the Closet

2009-09-28T00:01:00.000-07:00

“Hot funk, cold punk, even if it's old junk, it's still rock and roll to me.”
Billy Joel, singer/song writer

I decided for no particular reason to not pull the car into the garage, thinking I might go out for some errands. The news was on and then I heard a massive crashing sound. I ran out to the garage and noticed that the shelves above my workbench had come crashing down.

In the cabinet were a number of my old records. As I picked them up many memories flooded back. Then there were the LPs that I had no idea why they were there and how they came into my possession.

I used the pool table to store everything until it was cleaned up. Obviously there were too many LPs stored in the little cabinet, I guess it was due to full apart.

This Frank Sinatra LP "Trilogy" was purchased because an excited call from OnTheMark raving about a great song called "New York."

The Blues Brothers "A Briefcase Full of Blues." Coincidentally, Jack, over at Random Thoughts just wrote about this and then out of the blue it comes crashing out of my cabinet. This was a Christmas present either '79 or '80.

The Star Wars Story, I have no idea why I have this or where it came from.

This JFK Memorial was a freebie that my grandparents had, but I have not listened to it, yet.

Another from the hey day of Saturday Night Live. Anyone remember this?

David Bowie's "Space Oddity" became a big favorite in high school, but initially, I was a bit embarrassed to carry it home, so I hid it in my notebook. A great LP that I soon was not only NOT hiding, but telling people about it.

Holocaust? What Holocaust?

2009-09-25T07:01:00.000-07:00

September 23

Contested Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad took the stage at the United Nations General Assembly Wednesday, Sept. 23, 2009, in New York, where he spoke of the importance of peace, love, compassion, morality, justice and freedom.

[Source: npr.org]

September 25

Under fire for his repeated denials of the Holocaust, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad called the deaths of millions of Jews during World War II a "historical event" during an interview with NPR's Morning Edition to air Friday, but he quickly dismissed the accounts of Holocaust survivors as "claims."

"Why should everyone be forced to accept the opinion of just a few on a historic event?" he asked host Steve Inskeep.

Ahmadinejad stirred up controversy again last week by using a national televised speech in Iran to call the Holocaust a "lie and a mythical claim."

[Source: NPR.org]

Multimillionaire is the New 40

2009-09-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

Happy 60th Birthday Bruce.

Support Insurance Companies It's the American Way

2009-09-23T08:23:00.000-07:00

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

Monsters of FolkConsumer Alert

2009-09-22T19:34:00.000-07:00

Conor Oberst and Mike Mogis of Bright Eyes, Matt Ward, AKA, M. Ward from She/Him; Yim Yams, AKA, Jim James, from My Morning Jacket have combined for a new CD titled “Monsters of Folk,” which is not particularly folky but a review may be forthcoming later.

If you are planning on purchasing "Monsters of Folk," Amazon has the MP3 for $3.99 compared with iTunes’ $9.99. iTunes offers one exclusive song that you can buy individually for $0.99, for a total for $4.99.

Godless Liberal Homo: George Carlin and Religious Bullshit

2009-09-21T19:53:00.000-07:00

Godless Liberal Homo: George Carlin and Religious Bullshit

L'shanah tovah!

2009-09-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

What better way to wish you all a happy and sweet new year, than with a photo of our president wielding a lightsaber?

Mary Travers RIP

2009-09-17T05:23:00.000-07:00

How many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
Bob Dylan song made famous by Peter, Paul and Mary (Mary Travers 1936-2009)

Mary Travers was 72. among the groups big hits were: 'If I Had A Hammer,' 'Leaving on a Jet Plane,' 'Blowin' in the Wind,'and 'Puff the Magic Dragon.' The cause was complications from chemotherapy.

"WTF?"

2009-08-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

"It's a good thing I got that phone. The 80s called -- they want all this paper back!"

"But what else can I do with it?"

2009-08-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

"Maybe if I stare at it long enough, an idea will come to me. In the meantime, that phone was a great idea."

"At last, the final accessory for my 80s-themed room!"

2009-08-28T09:02:00.000-07:00

"It looks perfect here under dim lighting with my glass cube wall."

Diehard Baseball Fans

2009-08-27T00:01:00.000-07:00

"The only way you can become a legend is in your coffin”
Bette Davis (1908-1989), actress

The local news reported this as new, but coffins decked out with your favorite baseball team’s logo and colors are available to those who fill the need for additional attention at their own funeral.

In defense of the local newscast, maybe the Los Angeles Dodgers are just the latest team to okay their iconic graphics to grace the final resting place. I looked for a photo of the Dodger casket but could not find one, so the Mets will have to suffice.

I would not be surprised to discover the Los Angeles Dodger owner Frank McCourt agreed because he thought he could collect fees from fans in perpetuity.

Elvis Costello at the Greek Theater

2009-08-23T00:11:00.000-07:00

In the fashionable nightclubs and finer precincts
Man uses words to dress up his vile instincts
Ever since we said it
He went and took the credit
It's been headed this way since the world began
When a vicious creature took the jump from Monkey to Man
Elvis Costello, singer, song writer, lyrics from "Monkey to Man"

It’s not very far from the cheap seats of the Greek theater to view an outstanding performance by Elvis Costello and a decent set from Lucinda Williams. I had the pleasure of watching Costello play songs from his new CD “Secret, Profane and Sugarcane.”

I had minimal expectations for the show because the last time, at least 10 or more years ago, I saw him at the Universal Amphitheatre, it was loud, had muddled sound, and his lyrics were indistinguishable, not in a Bob Dylan way just simply lost in the sound system. This show was more acoustic as he played nearly all the songs off “Secret, Profane and Sugarcane” backed by the Nashville band the Sugarcanes. He also covered his old hits such as “Brilliant Mistake,” “Allison,” “Watching the Detectives,” “Blame it on Caine,” “Everyday I Write the Book,” in the style of his new CD.

What was particularly nice was that I purchased the tickets from Goldstar at $25 each, plus an odious service charge. While at was in the last rows it wasn’t as far back as I could have been since the show was far from a sell out. They covered the extra seats with a camouflage tarp and wheeled in potted trees and placed them in the middle of the empty rows, which unless I was right next to it I never would have known there were rows of empty seats.

Lucinda Williams was good, but seemed too lackadaisical as if she didn’t really care, which I know wasn’t the case because she stopped in the early stages of a song because the string on her guitar was “poorly tuned.” The highlight of seeing Williams was her duet with Costello on “Jailhouse Tears” and the Rolling Stones hit “Happy.”

The only truly downside to the evening was the rude, thoughtless, inconsiderate dimwit knuckleheaded woman who insisted on talking very loudly during Lucinda Williams’ set, even when I politely signaled for her to be quiet. The woman could be a character from Costello’s song “How to be Dumb.”

The Los Angeles Times review of the concert can be found here.

I found this in the comment section of the LATimes article:

Main set: Mystery Train (Parker/Phillips) / My All Time Doll / Tonight the Bottle Let Me Down (Merle Haggard) / Down among the Wine and Spirits / Blame It on Cain / Femme Fatale (Lou Reed/Velvet Underground) / The Delivery Man / The Butcher’s Boy (traditional) / Jailhouse Tears* / Happy* (The Rolling Stones) / Indoor Fireworks / Hidden Shame / Dragging Me These Last Few Yards** / Friend of the Devil (Grateful Dead) / Everyday I Write the Book / Five Small Words** (with a coda of Buddy Holly’s Not Fade Away) / She Was No Good / Brilliant Mistake
Encore: Red Cotton / The Crooked Line / (The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes / Sulfur to Sugarcane / Complicated Shadows*** / The Scarlet Tide*** / The Race Is On (George Jones) / Alison (with a coda of Faron Young’s He’ll Have to Go)
* with Lucinda Williams, who wrote Jailhouse Tears
** unreleased song, title possibly incorrect
*** with T Bone Burnett

Lucinda Williams’ opening set
Hard Time Killing Floor Blues / Well Well Well / Happy Woman Blues / People Talkin’ / Fruits of My Labor / Blue / Jackson (with Jim Lauderdale) / Nothing in Rambling / Joy

Or for more info try:

http://www.elviscostello.info/wiki/index.php/Concert_2009-08-18_Los_Angeles

Real News vs Fox News

2009-08-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

Here's one of the more important clips of Barney Frank's town hall meeting on health care -- it gives you a sense of what was going on there. Spoiler alert: Frank channels Godwin's law.

And here's what Fox News showed -- start at 1:27 if you're short on time.

The Final Girl

2009-08-19T09:22:00.000-07:00

One of the blogs I follow on Twitter is GeekTyrant, and I stumbled on a term there today that I had to read more about -- "the final girl." I wound up on Wikipedia, and will just copy-and-paste the good stuff for you to read and consider -- all about horror films and gender roles and feminism, especially in the writings of Carole Clover.

... the final girl is typically sexually unavailable or virginal, avoiding the vices of the victims (sex, narcotic usage, etc.). She sometimes has a unisex name (e.g. Teddy, Billie, Georgie, Sidney).

... audience identification is unstable and fluid across gender lines, particularly in the case of the slasher film. During the final girl’s confrontation with the killer ... she becomes masculinized through "phallic appropriation" by taking up a weapon, such as a knife or chainsaw, against the killer. Conversely ... the villain of slasher films is often a male whose masculinity, and sexuality more generally, are in crisis. Examples would include Norman Bates in Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, or Billy and Stu from Wes Craven's satirical horror film Scream. Clover points to this gender fluidity as demonstrating the impact of feminism in popular culture.

The phenomenon of the male audience having to identify with a young female character in an ostensibly male-oriented genre, usually associated with sadistic voyeurism, raises interesting questions about the nature of slasher films and their relationship with feminism. Clover argues that for a film to be successful, although the Final Girl is masculinized, it is necessary for this surviving character to be female, because she must experience abject terror, and many viewers would reject a film that showed abject terror on the part of a male. The terror has a purpose, in that the female is 'purged' if she survives, of undesirable characteristics, such as relentless pursuit of pleasure in her own right. An interesting feature of the genre is the 'punishment' of beauty and sexual availability.

Elvis Costello Video

2009-08-19T00:18:00.000-07:00

Elvis Costello on David Letterman. I saw Costello last night at the Greek Theater. He was outstanding. I'll write more about it later. In the meantime enjoy.

Imagining the Tenth Dimension

2009-08-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

Science geeks like me will enjoy this short video that imagines what the tenth dimension is like (by walking us through the nine that precede it).

Thanks, BoingBoing!

Obama Scales Back Goals for America -- ONN

2009-08-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's

Klan Sheep at the Ventura County Fair

2009-08-12T22:10:00.000-07:00

UPDATE

The identity of the sheep and its breeders have now been obscured to protect them from those who don't understand how jokes work.

Hopper Rolls On:More "Nighthawks' Parodies

2009-08-04T11:50:00.000-07:00

I've got another couple of "Nighthawks" parodies for all you Edward Hopper fans, just discovered.

The first is the work of Josh Ellingson, who seems to be a pretty fine illustrator:

Here's one from a Flickr user named bredlo, which may appeal to fans of the classic Airstream camper:

If you know why a pink polar bear attacking the diner is funny (from this guy), please let me know:

Rick Veitch has a great reworking of the diner as it might look in Iraq (click it to see it bigger):

There's a Sesame Street version (among other great Sesame Street versions of classic art):

If you want to see the rest of the parodies, click below.

First batch
Second batch
Third batch
Star Wars parody
New Year's parody

Songs for the Great Recession

2009-08-02T10:33:00.000-07:00

CEO Can You Spare a Job
("Brother Can You Spare a Dime" butchered by the Misanthrope with apologies to Yip Harburg)

They used to tell me I was building a dream
And so I followed the mob
When there were cars to build or computers to assemble
I was always there right on the job

They used to tell me I was building a dream
With gold and riches ahead
Why should I be sleeping in my car
Just gonna end up dead?

Once I built houses, I made them strong
Made them stand against the rain
Once I built homes, now they’re empty
CEO, can you spare a job, I have a brain

Once I invested on Wall Street
401s, stocks and bonds
Once I invested, now they are bailed out
Hey Hank Paulson, I failed too?

Once in three-piece suits, gee we looked cool
Full of hopes for the American dream
Now half a million dollars in debt
I was the loyal serf, now it’s me and Jim Beam

Say, don't you remember, they called me "valuable"
I was MVP all the time
Why don't you remember, I‘m expendable now
Say boss, can you spare a job

There may be hope on the horizon, but in the meantime, we watch unemployment benefits try up and wait for the home foreclosure bomb to hit here are a few songs contemporary and from the Great Depression to accompany us through the rough times.

The Poorhouse – Boxmasters
Help the Poor – Eric Clapton & B.B. King
Foreclosure Blues – Jerry Raven & Tom Naples
Pay Me My Money Down – Bruce Springsteen
Busted by Ray Charles from Ray Sings, Basie Swings
Brother, Can You Spare a Dime – Dave Brubeck
Low Budget -- The Kinks
Land of Broken Promises – Elvis Costello & Allen Toussain
God’s Away on Business – Tom Waits
We Can’t Make it Here – James McMurtry
Detroit Moan -- Victoria Spivey
Money – Pink Floyd
If You Have the Money, I Have the Time – Willie Nelson
It's Money That I Love --Randy Newman
It's Money That Matters -- Randy Newman
Money (That's What I Want) -- John Lennon
How Can a Poor Man Stand such Time and Live -- Bruce Springsteen
Poorhouse – Traveling Wilburys (Bob Dylan, George Harrison, Tom Petty, Jeff Lynn, Roy Obison)
Are You Making Any Money? -- Chick Bullock And His Levee Loungers
Gloomy Sunday – Billie Holiday

Elected officials Demonstrating Candor Be Afraid, Very Afraid...

2009-07-28T00:28:00.000-07:00

Realism provides only amoral observation, while Absurdism rejects even the possibility of debate.
Frances Babbage, playwright, "Augusto Boal"

This is unbelievable.

You can find the entire article at Huffington Post

Hmm...

2009-07-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

“Thinking is more interesting than knowing, but less interesting than looking”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832), playwright, poet

A man in sober meditation battling with a powerful internal struggle...

Stylish Ants

2009-07-21T04:54:00.000-07:00

“Ants are so much like human beings as to be an embarrassment. They farm fungi, raise aphids as livestock, launch armies into war, use chemical sprays to alarm and confuse enemies, capture slaves, engage in child labor, exchange information ceaselessly. They do everything but watch television.”
Lewis Thomas (1913-1993), physician and writer

Take a close look at the ant just left of center (you have to click on the photo) and you can see it has a faux Mohawk. I could have come a bit closer, but the persistent creatures started for my shoes.