From McSweeney's.
- - - -
Bobbing for Pride
Seven Minutes in Debtor's Prison
Nickels
Hot Potato Famine
Spin the Bottle and Then Redeem It for Ten Cents
Stiff as a Board, Light as Your Wallet
Chutes and More Fucking Chutes
Hungry, Hungry Children
Sorry!
Showing posts with label recession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label recession. Show all posts
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Jon Stewart creams Jim Cramer on the Daily Show
I hate to post right on top of the Misanthrope, but this is a must-see for anyone affected by the financial crisis. Which is everyone.
"Jon Stewart made Jim Cramer look like a wounded puppy tonight as the CNBC host joined The Daily Show after a full week of back-and-forth... Stewart's point was that Wall Street got fat off of all our pension plans, 401K's and long-term investments, while the 'Fast Money' crowd cashed in our long-term investments -- and CNBC was complicit in the entire gambit..."
It doesn't fix anything, but it feels good to watch it happen.
BoingBoing told me about this video from Crooks and Liars.
"Jon Stewart made Jim Cramer look like a wounded puppy tonight as the CNBC host joined The Daily Show after a full week of back-and-forth... Stewart's point was that Wall Street got fat off of all our pension plans, 401K's and long-term investments, while the 'Fast Money' crowd cashed in our long-term investments -- and CNBC was complicit in the entire gambit..."
It doesn't fix anything, but it feels good to watch it happen.
BoingBoing told me about this video from Crooks and Liars.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
This recession is awesome!
[From McSweeney's]
Mom and Dad keep talking about this recession and I gotta say: it's awesome! Yesterday, I ate pizza for breakfast, mac and cheese and hot-dog cubes for lunch, and then more pizza for dinner! Mom said that I could eat as much McDonald's as I want, and she even offered to leave me there in the ball pit for an entire day while she went and looked for new jobs! Awesome!
Every day after school, I used to go to violin lessons, but now Mom says I don't have to go anymore! This is so awesome because the violin was so boring and my teacher, Mrs. Calabrass, smelled like the attic and didn't let me drink soda! But now I don't have to deal with Mrs. Calabrass or listen to stupid Brahms with her! I hate the attic — but I love this recession!
We'd planned to go to France or something for our family vacation. But now, since it's the recession, we're all going to Gilbert's Goofy Park and playing minigolf and going on the go-karts! And even batting cages maybe, too! I don't think France has any batting cages or go-karts, so this is an amazing, amazing thing! I think if I'm good I can probably eat pizza at Gilbert's Goofy Park! I love pizza and I love this recession!
Dad's been home so much recently and it's been awesome! He just wears underpants and watches sports highlights and eats Cooler Ranch Doritos, which sounds super fun! I have to go to school, so I only get to see him when I get home, but yesterday Dad and I played Xbox together for six hours! He started off pretty good at the games, but each hour he got worse and worse, and soon he started making weird noises! He even started saying his words all slow and jumbled like a crazy man! He's really having a good time in this recession! So am I!
We used to have to drive like a gazillion hours in the car to get to Grandma's weird big blue house with no TV, but now Grandma drives her new house over to us in her new RV! It's amazing! I totally didn't know cars could also be houses and have stoves and have TVs, but they can! Grandma has it all thanks to the recession. And so do I!
Man, I hope this recession never ends. Me and my friends always high-five each other when we hear an older person say, "Not in this economy," because we know it always leads to something awesome for us! This is the best childhood ever! I could live like this for the rest of my life!
I love this recession!
Mom and Dad keep talking about this recession and I gotta say: it's awesome! Yesterday, I ate pizza for breakfast, mac and cheese and hot-dog cubes for lunch, and then more pizza for dinner! Mom said that I could eat as much McDonald's as I want, and she even offered to leave me there in the ball pit for an entire day while she went and looked for new jobs! Awesome!
Every day after school, I used to go to violin lessons, but now Mom says I don't have to go anymore! This is so awesome because the violin was so boring and my teacher, Mrs. Calabrass, smelled like the attic and didn't let me drink soda! But now I don't have to deal with Mrs. Calabrass or listen to stupid Brahms with her! I hate the attic — but I love this recession!
We'd planned to go to France or something for our family vacation. But now, since it's the recession, we're all going to Gilbert's Goofy Park and playing minigolf and going on the go-karts! And even batting cages maybe, too! I don't think France has any batting cages or go-karts, so this is an amazing, amazing thing! I think if I'm good I can probably eat pizza at Gilbert's Goofy Park! I love pizza and I love this recession!
Dad's been home so much recently and it's been awesome! He just wears underpants and watches sports highlights and eats Cooler Ranch Doritos, which sounds super fun! I have to go to school, so I only get to see him when I get home, but yesterday Dad and I played Xbox together for six hours! He started off pretty good at the games, but each hour he got worse and worse, and soon he started making weird noises! He even started saying his words all slow and jumbled like a crazy man! He's really having a good time in this recession! So am I!
We used to have to drive like a gazillion hours in the car to get to Grandma's weird big blue house with no TV, but now Grandma drives her new house over to us in her new RV! It's amazing! I totally didn't know cars could also be houses and have stoves and have TVs, but they can! Grandma has it all thanks to the recession. And so do I!
Man, I hope this recession never ends. Me and my friends always high-five each other when we hear an older person say, "Not in this economy," because we know it always leads to something awesome for us! This is the best childhood ever! I could live like this for the rest of my life!
I love this recession!
Friday, April 11, 2008
On The Mark -- Recession Indicator?
Recently on a Saturday I went to my local barber, Tony, with my son to get our hair cut. I've been going to this same barber for at least 11 years. It's just a hole in the wall, old-fashioned barbershop with the twirling red and white stripe outside and the whole 1960s works. He charges $23 for a cut.
Usually the place is busy. All three chairs filled and a walk-in or two reading a paper while waiting. This time the place was empty. Empty when I walked in. Empty when I walked out. I usually like to sit there silently while I get my hair cut, but this time I was curious so I asked him how business was going.
"Terrible because of the economy," he said. "And all my colleagues at other shops are experiencing the same thing." I was surprised and told him that I would have thought an economic slowdown wouldn't affect his business because it's like health care or food...you always need it.
He said, "You don't need it if you don't have a job and you don't need it if you can't get an interview."
Usually the place is busy. All three chairs filled and a walk-in or two reading a paper while waiting. This time the place was empty. Empty when I walked in. Empty when I walked out. I usually like to sit there silently while I get my hair cut, but this time I was curious so I asked him how business was going.
"Terrible because of the economy," he said. "And all my colleagues at other shops are experiencing the same thing." I was surprised and told him that I would have thought an economic slowdown wouldn't affect his business because it's like health care or food...you always need it.
He said, "You don't need it if you don't have a job and you don't need it if you can't get an interview."
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