Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Topics of Conversation at My Cousin's House on Any Given Holiday

By Jason Rohrbacker, courtesy of McSweeney's (where you'll find a cornucopia of hilarious Thanksgiving lists).
Whose house this is and how you'll act in it

Who put a roof over your head and how you'll behave as long as you're under it

Who is not here to win any popularity contests

Who is just plain ignorant

When this conversation is over

What is an argument and what is just a discussion

Whether Democrats or Republicans are closeted child-molesting homosexual Communists

Who is in charge here

How school is going

Who has had more than enough to drink

The weather

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