Rolling Stones Warning Regarding Exile on Main St.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
Words Mick Jagger lives by. W. C. Fields 1880 – 1946), comedian.


I love the music. The “new” songs are pretty good too. But, don’t buy the deluxe package expecting to see the full-length features of “Cocksucker Blues” or “Ladies & Gentleman The Rolling Stones.” This is nothing more than a movie trailer for the two movies. The hardcover photos deliver the same old photos everyone has seen a million times.

Arizona IS on the path to Nazi Germany, regardless of what some say.

Rabbi Cooper, you're wrong (as quoted in the Los Angeles Times). I know we all make comparisons to Nazi Germany far too often, but this is a case in which it's appropriate. And though I was uncomfortable saying it loud, I refuse to sit by and not say anything. First, your rights are abrogated based on how you look. The... next step could well be, "All you foreigners who are here legally can wear this badge so we know who you are." It's a dangerous, slippery slope, and if we ignore this just because improper comparisons have been made before and we're afraid to tell it like it is, we're allowing evil to flourish.

(If you want to read what he said, check it out here.)

Picasso, Einstein, Rockefeller, Hitler

There aren't that many people who wind up having their name take on greater metaphorical or idiomatic meaning, such that you can say, "You're such a ___________."

I've got four names on the list so far: Picasso, Einstein, Rockefeller, Hitler. Can you think of more?

(Weirder still, Rockefeller is a name we all know, with a face most of us *don't* know.)

You Are Not My Friend

You are not my friend,
I cannot pretend that you are.
Norah Jones, singer, song writer

I read an interesting post over at Random Thoughts titled “Dad’s Not Your Friend” regarding parents being friends with their kids. Even the Wall Street Journal has an article this week about parents being hip with their kids:



This less-defiant generation is influencing plots, changing what types of shows get made and prompting networks like MTV that have long specialized in youthful rebellion to rethink their approach. The new, more-sanguine shows still broach racy topics like sex, drug use and teen pregnancy, but they appease parents by always presenting consequences. Parents typically have prominent roles and just as many tawdry story lines as the teens—and look almost like older siblings. …For decades, TV has depicted teens as angst-ridden and rebellious, and parents as out-of-touch and unhip…

While I always thought I was knowledgeable, if not hip, when it came to pop culture, by my late-20s I was falling behind. When daughter was four or five, I thought Snoop Dog was a new name for Charlie Brown’s dog Snoopy. We had a short who’s the boss moment about what she could or could not listen to; I prevailed and she no longer owned a Snoop Dog tape.

I never viewed myself as daughter’s friend, buddy, chum, colleague, or comrade ever:

• We share secrets – but only important family secrets: “let’s have a Ding Dong, but don’t tell mom.”

• We go to sporting events – but we don’t have beers. We boo and cheer, share a hot dog and peanuts.

• We might have a drink over dinner – but we don’t go drinking.

• We go to concerts – but we don’t get drunk or smoke anything, but we do have a good time singing and dancing. She has seen the Rolling Stones and Ray Davies three times.

While daughter is grown, it seems financial assistance is still required. Granted, she is still in school, and that seems like it is going on forever (Bachelor’s, Master’s, and next May, a law degree). I have nothing to complain about. She is a good kid and works hard, but we are not pals.

I view friendship differently -- more informal and certainly much less responsibility. I would never want to burden her with my problems and issues. I am her father and I will always be her father. That is a relationship that is so much more meaningful and important than being her friend.

Emails from an Asshole

"Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life."
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967), writer, poet

No, these are not my e-mails or my book, however, I wish I had thought of it. It very much reminds me of The Lazlo Letters by Don Novello, who also played Father Guido Sarducci on Saturday Night Live.

The Lazlo Letters were stilted letters to celebrities under the pen name of Lazlo Toth (name taken from that of Laszlo Toth, a deranged man who vandalized Michelangelo's Pietà in Rome). The letters, designed to tweak the noses of politicians and corporations, were full of deliberate misstatements of fact and inside jokes. Many of these letters received serious responses; Novello sometimes continued the charade correspondence at length, with humorous results (from Wikipedia).

I encourage for a good laugh to check out a few of the other letters. One my favorites thus far is the "Wood Chipper Rental."

Original ad:
Garage sale on Saturday April 17th from 10 am to 4 pm. Lots of clothes, furniture, electronics, and more. The address is 341 ********* Drive. Email me if you need directions. Now before you think this woman doesn't deserve it, she spammed this ad everywhere, every day. I was sick of seeing it. From Me to ***********@**********.org:


Hello,

I live a few blocks away from you and couldn't help but notice you are having a garage sale this Saturday. I am going to have to kindly ask you to change the date of your garage sale. I am having my annual world class garage sale on that day, and I do not want you to take away any of the customers that would be coming to my garage sale.

If you could hold your garage sale some time during May or June, that would be great.

Thanks,
Mike

From Karen ******** to Me: I'm not changing the date. There is plenty of room for both of our garage sales. From Me to Karen *******:

Karen,

There is not enough room for both of our garage sales. As I said earlier, my garage sale is a "world class" event. It draws in garage sale connoisseurs from all over the region. I have already booked a bartender and a string quartet for my sale on Saturday. My garage sale is a classy experience, and I do not want that experience to be ruined for customers who mistake your garage sale for mine. Now I'm not saying your garage sale isn't going to be nice, but I highly doubt you have a bartender and string quartet at your sale.

Please take down all of the ads in the neighborhood for your sale to avoid any confusion for my customers.

Mike

From Karen ******** to Me: How rude of you to even make this request. I have the right to have a garage sale when ever I want to. What gives you the nerve to think you can tell me what to do?

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen,

You are correct, you do have the right to do whatever you want. I realize that I cannot change your mind about this.

I can, however, put up this ad all over the neighborhood. Let me know what you think of it:

Best,
Mike

From Karen ******** to Me: What the hell is the matter with you? I swear if I see any of those ads in the neighborhood I will tear them down and report you. Do not speak to me again about this. You have been warned.

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen

I'm willing to cut you a deal and get you a spot on the guest list for my world class garage sale if you cancel yours.

Mike

From Karen ******* to Me: Screw you and screw your world class garage sale, you world class prick.

Exile on Main Street Redux

“Of course, they look a little different, ... We all do.”
Keith Richards, Rolling Stone

Exile on Main St. is the Holy Grail of the Rollings Stones LPs, CDs, MP3s, etc. Now, The Rolling Stones are going to re-release it with 10 unearthed tracks and everything remastered.

Enjoy! I have and will


Here is the official video release of the single "Plundered My Soul":

Ice Cube - Then and Now

Saw this somewhere pretty small, so I rebuilt it to share with y'all.

Klosterman:Technology vs. Freedom

I'm enjoying Chuck Klosterman's latest collection of essays, Eating the Dinosaur. In particular, the essay titled "FAIL." Here's an excerpt:

When it's warm out I like to sit inside air-conditioned rooms. Yet what am I giving up in order to have a 70-degree living room in July?

Nothing that's particularly important to me.

For the air conditioner to work, I need to live in a building that has electricity, so I have to be connected to the rest of society. That's fine. That's no problem. Of course, to be accepted by that society, I have to accept the rules and laws of community living. That's fine, too. Now, to thrive and flourish and afford my electric bill, I will also have to earn money. But that's okay -- most jobs are social and many are enriching and necessary. However, the only way to earn money is to do something (or provide something) that is valued by other people. And since I don't get to decide what other people value, what I do to make a living is not really my decision. So -- in order to have air-conditioning -- I will agree to live in a specific place with other people, following whatever rules happen to exist there, all while working at a job that was constructed by someone else for their benefit.

In order to have a 70-degree living room, I give up almost everything.

Yet nothing that's particularly important to me.

What do you think? Is he crazy, or did he hit the nail on the head?

I just don't understand Japanese commercials.

King of the Wild Frontier RIP

Take another little piece of my heart now, baby.
Janis Joplin (1943-1970), from her famous song “Piece of my Heart”

I was saddened to see the headline of Fess Parker’s death yesterday. I was a fan of his Daniel Boone television series Thursday nights on NBC. It was sort a family hour for us. My father would watch the show with us, peel apples and cut them into slices for handing a piece in alternating order to my brother and me as Boone tricked the British and attempted to deal with the Indians fairly in Kentucky and around Boonesborough.

We felt a connection to the frontiersman because our father was from Kentucky. As a youngster I had every intention of moving to Kentucky someday. I also recall reading some lame biography of Daniel Boone from the elementary school library. Do public elementary schools have libraries today? Still, I have an interest in Daniel Boone as I purchased the 2007 biography “Boone, A Biography” by Robert Morgan.

Parker’s Davy Crockett days were a bit before my time, but once Daniel Boone became a hit Crockett was rerun occasionally on “The Wonderful World of Walt Disney” on Sunday nights and I was able to catch up on a craze that was a hit before I was born. Crockett had an influence on Boone because the Kentuckian never wore a coonskin cap.

Time marches on and as family members and TV icons leave their mortal coils, I have an even greater appreciation of our relatively brief and temporary time allotted to us.

The Good Ol' Stones

The Raisin Family Celebrates Passover

Time to make a buck, if I can -- this time, by selling hilarious Passover stuff! After all, why bother having a blog if you can't use it to shamelessly promote your goods and services, right? First though, because I know that explaining a joke makes it even funnier, here's the explanation (for those who may stop by this blog but not be up on their Hebrew language skills):

The cartoon predicates itself on the knowledge that at Passover we sing "Avadim Hayinu" -- translated as "we were slaves." When the Raisin family celebrates Passover, they sing the very similar-sounding "Anavim Hayinu" -- translated as "we were grapes." Get it? Hilarious! Trust me -- your rabbi will be in stitches. And it comes with a Hebrew caption or one in English transliteration (as shown above).

Well, maybe it's funny only to those of us Hebrew language geeks who think it's amusing to say "Hodu l'adonai" on Thanksgiving (someone can explain that one in the comments section if they want to).

So what can you buy with this great cartoon on it? Lots of stuff, and all right here: greeting cards, tote bags, shirts, mouse pads... But buy early, so that you get your goods before Passover!

Why Dodger Ticket Prices are Rising

“Poverty wants much; but avarice, everything”
Publilius Syrus, Roman author, 1st century B.C.

Ms Dodger half owner (Jamie McCourt) listed her expenses and asked the court for $988,845. Here are some of her MONTHLY expenses:

- Expenses for Holmby Hills home - $202,715
- Expenses for L.A. home - $9,007
- Expenses for Malibu home

- $151,054
- Expenses for other Malibu home - $88,106
- Expenses for Cape Cod house - $93,279
- Expenses for Willowbend house (we don't even know where that is) - $5,048
- Expenses for Vail house - $7,784
- Expenses for Cabo house - $2,530

A Long Short Story

“Real luxury is time and opportunity to read for pleasure”
Jane Brody, author

Just finished Point Omega by Don DeLillo.



"Everybody remembers the killer's name, Norman Bates, but nobody remembers the victim's name. Anthony Perkins is Norman Bates, Janet Leigh is Janet Leigh."

MacGruber celebrates Havdalah

Temple Ahavat Shalom is celebrating Purim this Saturday, February 27, from 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. Details at tasnorthridge.org

UGLY FURNITURE

ROTFLMAO

Louie Helps the Saints March on In

Charlie Brooker - How To Report The News

OMG -- awesomely funny to anyone who watches/critiques/enjoys/hates the news.

Bunch Of Phonies Mourn J.D. Salinger

CORNISH, NH — In this big dramatic production that didn't do anyone any good (and was pretty embarrassing, really, if you think about it), thousands upon thousands of phonies across the country mourned the death of author J.D. Salinger, who was 91 years old for crying out loud. "He had a real impact on the literary world and on millions of readers," said hot-shot English professor David Clarke, who is just like the rest of them, and even works at one of those crumby schools that rich people send their kids to so they don't have to look at them for four years. "There will never be another voice like his." Which is exactly the lousy kind of goddamn thing that people say, because really it could mean lots of things, or nothing at all even, and it's just a perfect example of why you should never tell anybody anything.

[From The Onion]

Olbermann's Sorry

“All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes.”
Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British Prime Minister during World War II


Jon Stewart sets Keith Olbermann straight. Would any of the Republican pundits ever apologize or admit mistakes, not counting mistresses or pay offs to girlfriends?