"Precious Little Torah" -- Torah Dance Song Remix!

Made a little something to help my synagogue promote its Torah restoration project (restoring a 350 year-old Torah that survived the Holocaust!).

Get the mp3 here!

(And to find out how you can write a letter in our Holocaust Torah, visit my synagogue's website.)

"Deer Hunter" for Kids

This guy is not my favorite internet personality, but he has a point about the inappropriate nature of this kids' toy.

2010 Reading List

“Real luxury is time and opportunity to read for pleasure”
Jane Brody, author

This is the time of year that I review all the books that I read through the previous year. This year I hit a personal high of 17 full books read.

Last year’s reading started with “Last Night Twisted River” by John Irving, which To paraphrase and take out of context, New York Times book critic Michiko Kakutani, called this book a deeply felt and often moving story. In my notes about the books I read, I wrote this about Irving’s novel – It was a one family saga that at times was very moving. Pay attention to the first sentence – I do recall thinking about the story for a while I after finished it, which is always a good sign for me.

“The Humbling” by Philip Roth. Roth is an amazing writer. He is credibly smooth story telling. This is another story of an aging male, this one an actor, who realizes he lost his magic. I rather enjoyed it.

“The Meaning of Night, A Confession” by Michael Cox. I was in the mood for a mystery after Irving and Roth. From my notes, this story takes place in 19^th Century England. Two murders take place in this heartbreaking story of how unfair the world can be.

“Point Omega” by Don DeLillo. This is a novella that provides no answers to the questions raised, but the language is wonderful and so are the descriptions.

“Ordinary Thunderstorms” by William Boyd. This novel captures how a life can turn around in a heartbeat from good to unbelievably bad.

“Miss O’Dell: My Hard Days and Long Nights with The Beatles, The Stones, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton and the Women They Loved” by Chris O’Dell with Katherine Ketcham. This was fun reading and provided a bit of insight into the lives of mostly The Beatles, who she worked for at Apple for a number of years. I found out that George Harrison told Ringo that he loved Ringo’s wife. Eric Clapton fell in love with George Harrison’s wife. Chris O’Dell fell in love with Leon Russell. Besides who fell for whom there was who played on whose albums.

“A Reliable Wife” by Robert Goolrick. This was one of my favorites for the year because it was the one I still continue to think about. From the dusk jacket: For Ralph Truitt, the wealthy businessman who had advertised for “a reliable wife,” this was also to be a new beginning. Years of solitude, denial, and remorse, would be erased, and Catherine Land, whoever she might be, would be the vessel of his desires, the keeper of his secrets, the means to recover what was lost.

“The Things They Carried” by Tim O’ Brien, the 20^th anniversary edition. I must have been watching The Pacific on HBO and got into a combat mood. Once I got into it I realized that I read much of it previously in various excerpted short stories about Vietnam. It captures the turmoil teenagers had to deal with regarding the draft and combat. This is very good and a classic.

“The Imperfectionists” by Tom Rachman. Each chapter is about another person in the newsroom. It started out slow, but I got into by the end. I think the reviews were a bit over the top. From the NYTimes Notable Books: This intricate novel is built around the personal stories of staff members at an improbable English-language newspaper in Rome, and of the family who founded it in the 1950s.

“Matterhorn” by Karl Marlantes is a book about second lieutenant Waino Mellas and his comrades in Barvo Company. The year is 1969 and Mellas, a reservist with an Ivy League education has been assigned to lead a rifle platoon of forty Marines, most of whom are teenagers. If you ever wondered what war was like and how you might hold up, I highly recommend this book. The story is all fiction, but you know it was written with a lot of truth from experience. Marlantes is a graduate of Yale University and a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford University. He served as a Marine in Vietnam, where he was awarded the Navy Cross, the Bronze Star, two Navy Commendation Medals for valor, two purple Hearts, and ten air medals. This was his first novel. In my notes, I wrote that it was terrible what soldiers had to endure, which included battle, the elements, and management (higher ranking officers).

“Mr. Peanut” by Adam Ross. A first novel. It’s very good and extremely well written. This is a book that needs to be read twice to see all the clues. Or, you can do what daughter does, which is read the ending first so you can see the tricks and clues as you go along.

“Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand” by Helen Simonson. A delightful old fashion love story set in an English village. I rather enjoyed and savored this book.

“The Brooklyn Follies” by Paul Auster. He captures marriage and divorce and even older kids. A truly satisfying book.

“All is Forgotten, Nothing is Lost” by Lan Samantha Chang. Another favorite that I thoroughly enjoyed; from the dusk jacket: At the renowned writing school in Bonnerville, every student is simultaneously terrified of and attracted to the charismatic and mysterious poet and professor Miranda Sturgis, whose high standards for art are both intimidating and inspiring. In my notes, I wrote that I thought this was a great companion piece to Nicholson Baker’s “The Anthropologist.”

“The Vaults” by Toby Ball. A first novel. Not sure how I found this book, it may have been by cruising through Amazon. In either case, the book was not what I expected, but not all that unsatisfying either. Probably the weakness of the books I read this year.

“The Fall of Giants” by Ken Follett. After thoroughly enjoying “World without End” and “Pillars of the Earth,” I had to get this first book of a planned trilogy. This starts off during World War One. Not as good as former two books, but a nice set up to the next installment.

“Sunset Park” by Paul Auster was not as an enjoyable read as "The Brooklyn Follies," but this was still interesting only because it was very easy reading. No doubt an English class would have a lot of material here for analyzing this book, but for me it was a pleasant book and capped off my 2010 reading list.

Bits and pieces

The following are the books that I read when I don't feel like reading a novel. So, the myriad books that I have picked up and put down and picked up again include:

“Secret Historian: The life and Times of Samuel Steward, Professor Tattoo Artist, and Sexual Renegade” by Justin Spring. This book was nominated for a few awards and raved about by critics. It was a mesmerizing and shocking book. Right from the dusk jacket: Drawn from the secret, never-before seen diaries, journals, and sexual records of the novelist, poet, and university professor Samuel M. Steward, Secret Historian is a sensational reconstruction of one of the most extraordinary hidden lives of the twentieth century. As an intimate fried of Gertrude Stein, Alice B. Tokias, and Thornton Wilder, Steward maintained a secret sex life from childhood on and documented his experiences in brilliantly vivid (and often funny) detail. Steward worked closely with Alfred Kinsey on his landmark sex research.

“Life” By Keith Richards. I am not sure there is anything more to be said about this book. It's interesting, but I like it only in pieces.

"Dino, Living High in the Dirty Business of Dreams" by Nick Tosches. Dean Martin's life is every bit as interesting, maybe more so, than Keith Richards. Richards was certainly more creative.

"Origins of the Specious: Myths and Misconceptions of the English Language" by Patricia T. Conner and Stewart Kellerman. When did we Americans lose our British accent? Answer: we didn't lose it. The British once spoke pretty much as we do. The English accent that we now associate with educated British speech is a relatively new phenomenon and didn't develop until after the American Revolution.

"The Grand Design" by Stephen Hawking and Leonard Mlodinow. We are more insignificant that we ever imagined.

VOTE

It's your civic duty.

Doesn't anyone read the Constitution anymore?

From NPR.org:

Just when you thought Christine O'Donnell, the Republican nominee for U.S. Senate in Delaware, could do nothing further to top herself, she does.

At a Tuesday morning debate with her Democratic rival Chris Coons, she appeared to be aggressively ignorant of the fact that the First Amendment requires the separation of church and state.

Making matters worse, the audience was actually filled with people with presumably more than a passing familiarity with the Constitution: law professors and students.

The Washington Post reports:

The exchange came in a debate before an audience of legal scholars and law students at Widener University Law School, as O'Donnell criticized Democratic nominee Chris Coons' position that teaching creationism in public school would violate the First Amendment by promoting religious doctrine.

Coons said private and parochial schools are free to teach creationism but that "religious doctrine doesn't belong in our public schools."

"Where in the Constitution is the separation of church and state?" O'Donnell asked him.

When Coons responded that the First Amendment bars Congress from making laws respecting the establishment of religion, O'Donnell asked: "You're telling me that's in the First Amendment?"

Her comments, in a debate aired on radio station WDEL, generated a buzz in the audience.

"You actually audibly heard the crowd gasp," Widener University political scientist Wesley Leckrone said after the debate, adding that it raised questions about O'Donnell's grasp of the Constitution.

Not only is this extraordinary because O'Donnell is running for the U.S. Senate, but she represents a political movement, the Tea Party, that has made a fierce adherence to the Constitution one of its fiercest principles.

Comics + Papercutting = Art The Work of Isaac Brynjegard-Bialik

“You did WHAT to my comics?”
Fine Art Mash-up ∙ New Work by Isaac Brynjegard-Bialik

Opening Reception at Brave New World Comics
on Saturday, September 11, from 7 to 10 pm

Show Open from September 11 through October 9

Brave New World Comics
22722 Lyons Avenue
Newhall, CA 91321
661-259-4745

A Time That Will Be Nevermore

“I'm in awe of people out there who deal with Alzheimer's, because they have to deal with death 10 times over, year after year.”
Marcia Wallace, actress

After I wrote my brief tribute to Fess Parker here, I soon ordered the series from Netflix, well season one, and then I outright purchased season two. As much as I can make it a routine, I come home, make dinner, and turn on Daniel Boone.

When I told people about my ritual of watching Daniel Boone, I joked and said I was reliving my childhood, but today after visiting my dad and realizing, truly realizing he is not the man he was, he is barely a shadow of himself. Add in other circumstances that have transpired in my life recently and I now recognize I wasn't kidding.

My youth was a safe time. A time of no worries other than where I would ride my bike to the next day, wondering what time my grandparents were coming over, or what toys of mine my brother borrowed without asking me, not that I would have shared if he did ask. Some mornings, I would lay in bed and hear my father drive off to work, while it was barely light, to ply his trade day in and day out to make sure we had a roof over our heads, clothes to wear, and toys to play with. In the evening, I’d see his truck turn the corner and pull into the driveway, I would go running home just to say hello. After a long week, he worked around the house throughout the weekend to make sure the place was well maintained and neat.

Tonight, I watched a Daniel Boone episode and I definitely knew it’s a way of revisiting the simpler times of my life before I understood what politics were, before I could fathom the battle of the roses, before I understood greed, and the cruelty that people and nature can inflict. Today I visited my father and it’s barely him. Bit by bit, day by day, he is rapidly (rapidly is subjective) disappearing even if he is still here physically. The happy ending of tonight’s show made it crystal clear why I escape to Boonesborough for an hour each night – because all was right in my world during this time, a time that will be nevermore.

Happy Birthday to Mrs. B2!

Happy Birthday to the love of my life, my wonderful wife!

A Post About Dr. Demento

OK, it's been *ages* since I last thought about Dr. Demento, but I used to be a big fan -- bought his vinyl, listened to his radio show on KMET on Sunday nights, became fans of bands I first heard on his program (Weird Al, I'm talking to you)...

Apparently times have not been good for him, as I discovered from Waxy.org today, and when I clicked over to his site and started to read -- well, it's not exactly news that he's not the big draw he used to be, but check out how depressed he (or his webmaster) sounds about everything; these are excerpts from recent posts

...This was a very painful decision for the Doctor...

...The broadcast has been losing money for some time...

...As CD's continue their slow fade from the marketplace, Rhino Records has notified us that the "Dr. Demento 25th Anniversary Collection" set has been discontinued, effective immediately. We are permanently out of stock and can no longer supply copies of this set...

...We have had multiple problems filling orders for the new Demento Society membership kit...

...Yes, I know it's late. It's very, very late...

You can read more over here on his website (but I'm not sure you'll want to).

Dear British Petroleum(It's Not Your Fault)

Dear BP,

Don't feel bad -- it's not your fault. After all, you don't know anything about keeping oil in the ground; your job is to get it *out* of the ground.

So... good job! It's out of the ground. Now stop trying to keep the oil in the ground. Please start putting it in barrels so we can buy it.

After all, getting oil out of inconvenient places in the ground and into barrel is what you do best -- especially in challenging situations like the one we're faced with right now.

So remember -- play to your strengths, and pack up that oil!

Sincerely,
B2

P.S. If all of the extra oil on the market makes the price go down a bit, I'm sure you'll be OK; you've got some of your money put away for a rainy day, right?

Rolling Stones Warning Regarding Exile on Main St.

It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
Words Mick Jagger lives by. W. C. Fields 1880 – 1946), comedian.


I love the music. The “new” songs are pretty good too. But, don’t buy the deluxe package expecting to see the full-length features of “Cocksucker Blues” or “Ladies & Gentleman The Rolling Stones.” This is nothing more than a movie trailer for the two movies. The hardcover photos deliver the same old photos everyone has seen a million times.

Arizona IS on the path to Nazi Germany, regardless of what some say.

Rabbi Cooper, you're wrong (as quoted in the Los Angeles Times). I know we all make comparisons to Nazi Germany far too often, but this is a case in which it's appropriate. And though I was uncomfortable saying it loud, I refuse to sit by and not say anything. First, your rights are abrogated based on how you look. The... next step could well be, "All you foreigners who are here legally can wear this badge so we know who you are." It's a dangerous, slippery slope, and if we ignore this just because improper comparisons have been made before and we're afraid to tell it like it is, we're allowing evil to flourish.

(If you want to read what he said, check it out here.)

Picasso, Einstein, Rockefeller, Hitler

There aren't that many people who wind up having their name take on greater metaphorical or idiomatic meaning, such that you can say, "You're such a ___________."

I've got four names on the list so far: Picasso, Einstein, Rockefeller, Hitler. Can you think of more?

(Weirder still, Rockefeller is a name we all know, with a face most of us *don't* know.)

You Are Not My Friend

You are not my friend,
I cannot pretend that you are.
Norah Jones, singer, song writer

I read an interesting post over at Random Thoughts titled “Dad’s Not Your Friend” regarding parents being friends with their kids. Even the Wall Street Journal has an article this week about parents being hip with their kids:



This less-defiant generation is influencing plots, changing what types of shows get made and prompting networks like MTV that have long specialized in youthful rebellion to rethink their approach. The new, more-sanguine shows still broach racy topics like sex, drug use and teen pregnancy, but they appease parents by always presenting consequences. Parents typically have prominent roles and just as many tawdry story lines as the teens—and look almost like older siblings. …For decades, TV has depicted teens as angst-ridden and rebellious, and parents as out-of-touch and unhip…

While I always thought I was knowledgeable, if not hip, when it came to pop culture, by my late-20s I was falling behind. When daughter was four or five, I thought Snoop Dog was a new name for Charlie Brown’s dog Snoopy. We had a short who’s the boss moment about what she could or could not listen to; I prevailed and she no longer owned a Snoop Dog tape.

I never viewed myself as daughter’s friend, buddy, chum, colleague, or comrade ever:

• We share secrets – but only important family secrets: “let’s have a Ding Dong, but don’t tell mom.”

• We go to sporting events – but we don’t have beers. We boo and cheer, share a hot dog and peanuts.

• We might have a drink over dinner – but we don’t go drinking.

• We go to concerts – but we don’t get drunk or smoke anything, but we do have a good time singing and dancing. She has seen the Rolling Stones and Ray Davies three times.

While daughter is grown, it seems financial assistance is still required. Granted, she is still in school, and that seems like it is going on forever (Bachelor’s, Master’s, and next May, a law degree). I have nothing to complain about. She is a good kid and works hard, but we are not pals.

I view friendship differently -- more informal and certainly much less responsibility. I would never want to burden her with my problems and issues. I am her father and I will always be her father. That is a relationship that is so much more meaningful and important than being her friend.

Emails from an Asshole

"Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life."
Dorothy Parker (1893–1967), writer, poet

No, these are not my e-mails or my book, however, I wish I had thought of it. It very much reminds me of The Lazlo Letters by Don Novello, who also played Father Guido Sarducci on Saturday Night Live.

The Lazlo Letters were stilted letters to celebrities under the pen name of Lazlo Toth (name taken from that of Laszlo Toth, a deranged man who vandalized Michelangelo's Pietà in Rome). The letters, designed to tweak the noses of politicians and corporations, were full of deliberate misstatements of fact and inside jokes. Many of these letters received serious responses; Novello sometimes continued the charade correspondence at length, with humorous results (from Wikipedia).

I encourage for a good laugh to check out a few of the other letters. One my favorites thus far is the "Wood Chipper Rental."

Original ad:
Garage sale on Saturday April 17th from 10 am to 4 pm. Lots of clothes, furniture, electronics, and more. The address is 341 ********* Drive. Email me if you need directions. Now before you think this woman doesn't deserve it, she spammed this ad everywhere, every day. I was sick of seeing it. From Me to ***********@**********.org:


Hello,

I live a few blocks away from you and couldn't help but notice you are having a garage sale this Saturday. I am going to have to kindly ask you to change the date of your garage sale. I am having my annual world class garage sale on that day, and I do not want you to take away any of the customers that would be coming to my garage sale.

If you could hold your garage sale some time during May or June, that would be great.

Thanks,
Mike

From Karen ******** to Me: I'm not changing the date. There is plenty of room for both of our garage sales. From Me to Karen *******:

Karen,

There is not enough room for both of our garage sales. As I said earlier, my garage sale is a "world class" event. It draws in garage sale connoisseurs from all over the region. I have already booked a bartender and a string quartet for my sale on Saturday. My garage sale is a classy experience, and I do not want that experience to be ruined for customers who mistake your garage sale for mine. Now I'm not saying your garage sale isn't going to be nice, but I highly doubt you have a bartender and string quartet at your sale.

Please take down all of the ads in the neighborhood for your sale to avoid any confusion for my customers.

Mike

From Karen ******** to Me: How rude of you to even make this request. I have the right to have a garage sale when ever I want to. What gives you the nerve to think you can tell me what to do?

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen,

You are correct, you do have the right to do whatever you want. I realize that I cannot change your mind about this.

I can, however, put up this ad all over the neighborhood. Let me know what you think of it:

Best,
Mike

From Karen ******** to Me: What the hell is the matter with you? I swear if I see any of those ads in the neighborhood I will tear them down and report you. Do not speak to me again about this. You have been warned.

From Me to Karen *******:

Karen

I'm willing to cut you a deal and get you a spot on the guest list for my world class garage sale if you cancel yours.

Mike

From Karen ******* to Me: Screw you and screw your world class garage sale, you world class prick.

Exile on Main Street Redux

“Of course, they look a little different, ... We all do.”
Keith Richards, Rolling Stone

Exile on Main St. is the Holy Grail of the Rollings Stones LPs, CDs, MP3s, etc. Now, The Rolling Stones are going to re-release it with 10 unearthed tracks and everything remastered.

Enjoy! I have and will


Here is the official video release of the single "Plundered My Soul":

Ice Cube - Then and Now

Saw this somewhere pretty small, so I rebuilt it to share with y'all.

Klosterman:Technology vs. Freedom

I'm enjoying Chuck Klosterman's latest collection of essays, Eating the Dinosaur. In particular, the essay titled "FAIL." Here's an excerpt:

When it's warm out I like to sit inside air-conditioned rooms. Yet what am I giving up in order to have a 70-degree living room in July?

Nothing that's particularly important to me.

For the air conditioner to work, I need to live in a building that has electricity, so I have to be connected to the rest of society. That's fine. That's no problem. Of course, to be accepted by that society, I have to accept the rules and laws of community living. That's fine, too. Now, to thrive and flourish and afford my electric bill, I will also have to earn money. But that's okay -- most jobs are social and many are enriching and necessary. However, the only way to earn money is to do something (or provide something) that is valued by other people. And since I don't get to decide what other people value, what I do to make a living is not really my decision. So -- in order to have air-conditioning -- I will agree to live in a specific place with other people, following whatever rules happen to exist there, all while working at a job that was constructed by someone else for their benefit.

In order to have a 70-degree living room, I give up almost everything.

Yet nothing that's particularly important to me.

What do you think? Is he crazy, or did he hit the nail on the head?

I just don't understand Japanese commercials.

King of the Wild Frontier RIP

Take another little piece of my heart now, baby.
Janis Joplin (1943-1970), from her famous song “Piece of my Heart”

I was saddened to see the headline of Fess Parker’s death yesterday. I was a fan of his Daniel Boone television series Thursday nights on NBC. It was sort a family hour for us. My father would watch the show with us, peel apples and cut them into slices for handing a piece in alternating order to my brother and me as Boone tricked the British and attempted to deal with the Indians fairly in Kentucky and around Boonesborough.

We felt a connection to the frontiersman because our father was from Kentucky. As a youngster I had every intention of moving to Kentucky someday. I also recall reading some lame biography of Daniel Boone from the elementary school library. Do public elementary schools have libraries today? Still, I have an interest in Daniel Boone as I purchased the 2007 biography “Boone, A Biography” by Robert Morgan.

Parker’s Davy Crockett days were a bit before my time, but once Daniel Boone became a hit Crockett was rerun occasionally on “The Wonderful World of Walt Disney” on Sunday nights and I was able to catch up on a craze that was a hit before I was born. Crockett had an influence on Boone because the Kentuckian never wore a coonskin cap.

Time marches on and as family members and TV icons leave their mortal coils, I have an even greater appreciation of our relatively brief and temporary time allotted to us.