Wednesday, February 15, 2006

A What If Role Reversal

A gun is the ideal weapon of the detached, the reticent, the almost autistic. It is the opposite of a relationship.
Attributed to Oswald Mosley (1896 - 1980), British politician

What if, the 78-year-old lawyer, Harry M. Whittington, the man Cheney shot or as the White House gang refers to it – peppered – had shot Cheney. I suspect that the White House would have immediately released the information.

Not only would the information have been released within minutes, but the incident would be used to rise the terrorist threat to bright red. Then Turd Blossom (aka Karl Rove), would swing into action and make up some crazy rationalization why Congress should unilaterally allow the president to continue spying on its citizens, least the terrorists take advantage of the situation.

Poor Whittington, who happened to have accidentally shot VP Dark Heart, would already be on his way to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba to find out who else was involved. His family would be shipped to one of the European torture camps to ensure there was no conspiracy.

The idiot president would show his loyalty and appoint Harriet Miers to fill in the wounded VP, meanwhile French surgeons from "new Europe" would be flown in for a possible face transplant, since the ol’ VP’s mug was pockmarked with iron pepper.

Donald Rumsfeld would hold a press conference to reassure us that stuff happens, but all was well, it is just the networks and the cable stations showing the same footage of the VP being shot that are creating the problem.

Well, it all goes back to the English newspaper headline after the election, “How can 93 million people be so stupid to have reelected this gang?


Rags said...

When is Cheney taking Bush on a hunting trip?

The Misanthrope said...

I wish I had said that.

Juggling Mother said...

We are still confused as to how he got elected & why he is still inpower!

Rags said...

Perhaps, but we're nowhere near as confused as the fools who voted for them.

alice, uptown said...

Isn't Dick Cheney the perfect NRA poster boy? "Guns don't kill people; people kill people." Whoops. Better send that slogan back to the PR folks for something else.