Landlord Frustrations

I feel as if I were a piece in a game of chess, when my opponent says of it: That piece cannot be moved.
Søren Kierkegaard (1813–55), philosopher

This is the letter I wrote to my apartment complex manager. I have not yet decided whether to copy the national office and let them think I have cc the newspaper. The manager called yesterday and said everything was going to be taken care of. Great, they'll fix it all up and I won't want to move. I once heard that former homeowners were the worst tenants, if that is true, I guess I'm proving it.

June 5, 2006

Address

Re: No solution to weekend emergency

Dear ____:

(Name of residential community) has outdone itself this weekend. You have made my life a living hell both figuratively and literally. Everything that was attempted was too little too late. I had to find other living arrangements this weekend. Weekend plans were canceled as you suggested that I stay in the unrelenting heat of my unit awaiting the promised relief that never arrived.

Finally, Sunday at approximately 3:40 p.m., the portable unit was put into my place (which was a temporary solution proposed Saturday afternoon, but was rejected then, but good enough 24 hours later), but because there was no place for ventilation the hot air negated the cool and all that resulted was a humid place and most likely a much higher electric bill.

I am delighted that I am supposedly receiving a new system today, maybe during the next heat wave, I will be able to live in my unit!

This is what I get for my $0,000, plus utilities I pay promptly each month! Let’s review my five months here:

• Water pressure mysteriously reduced after two weeks and never returned to its proper volume (your offer to reimburse me for a showerhead would not make a difference, since it used to work with the current showerhead),
• Neighbors who played music at 3 a.m. that I finally had to confront myself (twice),
• Fireplace gas pipe rotted and significant hole on pipe reducing the effectiveness of gas starter. It’s still bad, but now it’s summer and I’m dealing with your antiquated air conditioning,
• An apartment full of dead bees upon my return from one day away (did not report, my housekeeper took care of it),
• Dishwasher that is worthless as far as cleaning goes. (Have not officially reported, yet. Now please consider it officially reported),
• Piles of bird waste outside my garage from multiple nests of birds located on the eves above (Have not officially reported, yet. It was half-heartedly cleaned up once. Now please consider it officially reported),
• No one mentioned that this complex did not upgrade its cable system, thereby rendering it worthless for televisions or computers, and of course,
• The outdated dilapidated air conditioning unit that was never checked prior to moving in that has caused me nothing but grief and aggravation all weekend, while we have had record heat.

Maybe now you’ll understand my less than warm feelings for this place and how it is managed.

Thoroughly disgusted,

The Misanthrope