Tuesday, January 23, 2007

State of the Union Rejected Drafts

For one tyrant, there a thousand ready slaves. Man is naturally a worshipper of idols and a lover of kings.
William Hazlitt (1778-1830), writer

Toner Mishap found a few of the crumbled rejected pages President George W. Bush had rewritten before tonight’s State of the Union speech.

My fellow Americans I have admitted that mistakes were made in Iraq. It’s a loser of a situation, I have sent over 20,000 troops and I will start to bring them home around summer time when there are only 15,000 to return – stuff happens, they’re not my kids.

In my last two years, I plan to focus on the domestic issues; you know the things that happen here in the good ol’ US of A. Our health care system is unfair, so I am going to tax the middle class, so they too cannot afford health care. I am in the process of replacing federal prosecutors with those that are loyal to me. I will try again to kill off Social Security…

The first crumbled page ended, but apparently the other page we found looks to have been another false start:

Ladies and Gentlemen, Republicans and Democrats remember I am a uniter, not a divider. I welcome the Democrats as a majority in Congress, and we’ll be united as long as you realize I am the Decider and you’re not...

Miscellaneous Political Thoughts

Judges – It was reported that Judge Judy makes more than all the Supreme Court Justices combined. Considering this most unimpressive group, all is right in the world.

Hillary – I am just not crazy about her. Right now, I like John Edwards and Barack Obama.

Gerald Ford – I am not sure whether it was hindsight that made Ford look better or that fact that Bush is so bad. I. F. Stone had a great line shortly after John F. Kennedy was killed, which is just as appropriate today: “funerals are always occasions for pious lying.”

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