Friday, September 30, 2005

Winnie-the-Pooh Eaten in Bizarre Toy-Related Accident

I didn't buy it -- but I totally should have.

You know toy machines at the front of certain stores? At the local Chinese restaurant they had one with a weird Winnie-the-Pooh toy, in which the Winnie part goes into various animal costumes -- through their mouths. As you can see in this picture, it looks more like he's being eaten than putting on a costume.

Guerilla Gorilla:
Stupid Humans

[It's Friday, and that's means it's time for Guerilla Gorilla. This week, GG addresses the differences between humans and apes.]

Do you humans know how you wound up at the top of the biological ladder? It's not your opposable thumbs; plenty of other animals have those, including opposums. I'll give you a hint: the Greeks had a story about Prometheus stealing some from the Gods to give to man...

Yes, that's right -- fire; control of fire is the key to your species' success. So what seems to be the problem? (Human race, I'm talking to you.)

First, you let tidal waves and hurricanes wash away major cities around the world, in what has got to be the most ridiculous regression ever -- haven't human civilizations prided themselves on their ability to protect their citizenry from storms? Since the beginning of human civilization?

Then you have these fires, which always start out small and then wind up engulfing entire neighborhoods, hundreds and thousands of acres. Can't you guys plan for this? Don't you know how to get rid of extraneous dry brush? We apes do. Don't you know how to put out a fire? We apes thought that's what you humans prided yourselves on. And flying a helicopter over a fire and dropping a lot of water may look cool on television, but it's about time you humans harnessed your superior technology to come up with something more effective.

A big simian grunt of thanks go to the emergency workers and firefighters who are attempting to save your sorry human asses.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Cheney’s Chief of Staff Also Outed CIA Agent

Leaders must have that sense of trusteeship, that they are only temporarily in charge of the destinies of their people and that their duty is not only to discharge that trust but also to pass it on to equally trustworthy and competent hands.
Kuan Yew Lee, Singaporean statesman

New York Times reporter Judith Miller revealed her source after spending three months in jail. Her source was Vice President Dick Cheney’s chief of staff Lewis “Scooter” Libby.

Miller said her source voluntarily and personally released her from her promise. I suppose since nothing has happened to Turd Blossom, Bush pet name for Karl Rove, he figured why not let her off the hook.

I have a hard time believing Bush and Cheney knew nothing of this since their closest advisors where behind the revealing of a covert CIA agent. This is truly has to be the most corrupt and inept (when it comes to helping people who are not “Friends of Bush”) administration in the history of the United States.

On The Mark -- The Digital Camera's Dirty Little Secret

While I was shooting some photos with my digital camera in Moscow recently, I suddenly got a message on my camera that said I must re-format my disk in order to proceed. However, if I re-formatted my disk I would lose all my previous shots. When I returned home I brought the disk into my local professional camera store where I buy all my film for 35 mm and digital cameras.

The owner's response was surprising (at least to me): "Yeah, that's the digital camera industry's dirty little secret. It's a glitch they haven't been able to fix yet. I can't tell you how many times professional photographers come into my store in a panic because they've experienced the same thing."

I had to send my disk to the manufacturer to attempt to restore the photos onto a CD. I had to sign a release form stating that I realize that all photos may be lost as they attempt to retrieve them.

Has anyone else experienced this problem? Make sure you transfer your shots to your PC sooner than later.

Airwolf: The Adjective

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Tom DeLay Indicted

Justice is conscience, not a personal conscience but the conscience of the whole of humanity. Those who clearly recognize the voice of their own conscience usually recognize also the voice of justice.
Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Russian writer

Eventually justice is served and today we are on our way to seeing Rep. Tom DeLay pay for his lack of ethics and possibly for criminal involvement. A Texas grand jury on charged DeLay and two political associates with conspiracy in a campaign finance scheme, the indictment has forced him to step down as House majority leader.

According to the New York Times, GOP congressional officials said Speaker Dennis Hastert, R-Ill., will recommend that Rep. David Dreier of California step into those duties. Some of the duties may go to the GOP whip, Rep. Roy Blunt of Missouri. The Republican rank and file may meet as early as Wednesday night to act on Hastert's recommendation.

"The president's view is to let the legal process work," Mr. McClellan said. "There's a legal process and we're going to let it work."

Our president who surrounds himself with greedy dishonest former corporate executives continues to support DeLay. Of course, he still lets Turd Blossom (Karl Rove) run amuck.

Maybe we’ve heard the last of DeLay, who thought there was little wrong with Terri Schiavo, and most recently said that there is no waste in the federal budget. He is also known for punishing his preceived enemies, who are generally people doing honest work.

Criminal conspiracy is a state felony punishable by six months to two years in a state jail and a fine of up to $10,000. The potential two-year sentence forces DeLay to step down under House Republican rules.

Congratulations to the Los Angeles Angels!

Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona. Not all holes, or games, are created equal.
George F. Will, political columnist

The Angels are the American League West Division Champions.

Meanwhile the Dodgers are literally fighting rats at the stadium.

Real Reality Television

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
Jean Kerr, author, playwright

The flight of JetBlue with the malfunctioning landing gear last week brings up a new question for travelers: should the televisions remain on during a crisis or should they be turned off? Jetblue has opted to keep its TVs on for full disclosure but Frontier Airlines, WestJet Airlines, Song airlines have decided that in emergency situations the boob tube is immediately turned off.

According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, among the reasons for during the TVs off include the possibly of lawyers seeking additional pain and suffering claims if passengers watch themselves explode into a fireball.

No longer do you have to rely on the captain or the crew to inform you of a pending tragedy, just wait for the power to flicker on the television sets and assume the crash position, because the end could be just minutes away.

Glo Balls

These are, hands down, the most disgusting looking dessert ever.

Bright orange, spherical, and fuzzy? And named "Glo Balls," for crying out loud?

And of course, my kids want them.

A Tax Break for a Wealthy Monopoly

The waste of plenty is the resource of scarcity.
Thomas Love Peacock (1785–1866), English author

President Bush has asked the American people to conserve gasoline. The shortage is caused primarily because there are not enough refineries to transform the oil into gasoline. By not building refineries, the oil companies where able to create a shortage scenario thus driving prices upward with no end in sight. Also, they can use this self-created shortage to say they need access into protected wilderness areas.

So far this year the oil companies have made billions in profits, but that is still not enough. No sir/madam, Bush now wants to give his extraordinarily wealthy friends a tax break to encourage refinery construction and expansion.

Maybe Putin’s idea of having the government control the oil companies is not a bad idea, unless of course the Bush gang is in office.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Huh?

Check it out; you'll thank me.

"Homeless" Movie Set Creates False Sense of Hope

I started writing this post with the intention of drawing attention to the faux homeless encampment erected in downtown Los Angeles last week for the filming of a new movie. I was going to show pictures of the fake homeless set side-by-side with photos of what it usually looks like -- comparing the relative opulence of the movie set with a true portrait of how bad it is for these people.

I was going to point out the props: clean clothes on a clothesline, unused boxes artfully arranged as shelters, tents with no stains or rips, bottles collected that had been assiduously scrubbed.

But the post didn't do justice to the difference between on-screen portrayals of homelessness and the harsh reality. so I scrapped it. There was no way I was able to write that these sanitized portrayals of homeless people in movies contributes to our neglect of the homeless problem, and homeless people themselves.

The homeless that usually loiter in this area do not have tents or boxes to sleep in. The blankets that some have are not clean, not whole, and not sanitary. They don't have tables and chairs set up as eating and chatting areas. The homeless are not doing fine; pretending that they lives lives "outside the grid" but with enough food and shelter to make them relatively happy is completely false, and contributes to our abiliy to ignore them all the more.

Following are photos of the "set." First, an example comparing real trash to fake trash:

Real trash is rotten and disgusting and you wouldn't want to touch it becuase flies have laid eggs in it. Fake trash is clean and fresh, just ordered from the mattress store.




Homeless people are not living in little communities, complete with living rooms and cafes. They eat whatever they can find, wherever and whenever they can.


They do not have clotheslines, replete with clean clothes from which they select their daily wardrobe.




The homeless do not have clean, new tents in which to sleep. They don't even have unused boxes. In the movie set, the tents and boxes are free of rips, tears and stains, and are clearly new and untouched.


And if they have sheets or blankets, they aren't clean and fresh, right out of the packaging from Bed, Bath and Beyond.


And they don't have time for elaborate home decoration such as this.


Look inside this faux trash receptacle, which the prop guys set up as a homeless person's shelter. See how dirty the container itself is? But the goods inside are clean and fresh? If you're living in anything downtown, it's filthy, you're filthy, and all of the stuff you have is filthy.




Many of the city's homeless do push shopping carts around, loaded up with all kinds of stuff. But not brand-new trendy shoes. And when someone is going around collecting used plastic and glass bottles in a garbage bag, the garbage bag is dirty, and the bottles are not clean and pristine, as they are in this prop.


And the homeless can't leave their shopping carts and possessions lying around, with a security guard to watch over them -- if they leave their stuff, it'll be gone, which is why you see so many unfortunates carrying all of their belongings with them.

This isn't just a way to poke fun at the movie industry "getting it wrong" again -- because we're not talking about the wrong typeface used in a period piece or a continuity error; we're talking about marginalizing people and not allowing ourselves to see what's really going on.

Homeless people are not living it up on the streets -- they don't have even the basic necessities for life, such as food and reliable shelter. Pretending that they don't have it so bad, and presenting them in such a state in movies, hurts our ability to help them. And I don't care if you're not sympathetic to individual homeless people you may or may not see -- a society that allows this to happen to human beings needs to be fixed, and we can not let the whitewashing of the problem continue. Ignoring it will only make it worse.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Don Adams, Dead at 82

A sad farewell to someone who gave me a lot of laughs growing up: Don Adams. As the title character of television's "Get Smart," Adams sent up the James Bond franchise and all manner of spy standards -- he was the most incredible comedic actor of his time. Would you believe, "a very funny actor"? Would you believe, "moderately funny?"

Seriously -- he was great at what he did, and I enjoyed him immensely.

Barbie Photo A Little Unnerving

It's been four years, but still... this "photo" of Barbie the business executive in a book titled What Will I Be? just gives me the creeps. Why? Look behind her.

A Sucker Born Every Minute

My rackets are run on strictly American lines and they’re going to stay that way.
Al Capone (1899–1947), U.S. gangster

They surely have Mr. Capone. I received this offer from MBNA, the credit card company, in the mail telling me I qualified for a CleanSweep(R) line of credit. I can receive up to $50,000 and pay a mere $783 a month for 84 months (7 years). The interest rate for this bag of cash is 6.99% (it’s similar to the oil companies charging $3.05.9/10). However, should I fall on hard times and miss a payment, my reasonable 6.99% escalates to earth shattering 27.99%, which would increase the $783 a month payment to more than $1,000 a month when one can least afford to pay it, thus multiplying one's problems.

How convenient that this offer should arrive just prior to the new bankruptcy rules that kick in a just a few short days. No longer can one erase debts and start, unless you have fallen below the poverty level.

At one time, the Bonanno or Genovese families only did this type of predatory loan sharking; just another example of government looking out for its citizens against corporate greed.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

The Misanthrope – Sunday’s Lighter Side

We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it.
John Lennon (1940–80), musician

Drive Will You. In the last week, I passed a moron shaving on his way to work. I passed around him and cut it a bit short hoping that maybe he would press his electric razor a bit too hard against his throat. A couple of days later, I lost my patience with the woman driver in front of me who could not handle the multi-tasking of driving and plucking her eyebrows. I laid on the horn and scared the daylights out of her. I can only hope that she now has a bald spot on her eyebrow.

Weeds. I was surprised that others too loved the Showtime show “Weeds,” which is just wonderful. The show has not received a lot of promotion compared to other cable shows Tonight another favorite returns “Curb your Enthusiasm” with Larry David. On the Mark told me about this show because he said it reminded him of me. Wife and I started watching it and she concurred. I see no similarities.

Staying Busy. While wife was away I decided to see the play “Dead End” at the Ahmanson Theatre in Los Angeles. The play was written in 1935, and dramatized the personal and economic devastation of the Depression. Sidney Kingsley, who wrote the play incorporated elements of days’ current events – notably the criminal career of gangster “Baby Face” Nelson and the construction of River House, a high-rise luxury apartment building set amidst the tenements of East 52nd street. The idea came to Kingsley while he sat on the wharf and watched the kids swimming in the filthy East River next to the posh River Club, then he recalled the quote from Thomas Paine: The contrast of affluence and wretchedness is like dead and living bodies chained together. The set was spectacular and I am not over stating it. First lady Eleanor Roosevelt saw the production three times and it was the first play to be presented in a command performance for the White House. The play was excellent.

The next evening I went to the library downtown to see Jane Smiley talk about her latest novel “13 Ways of Looking at the Novel.” Smiley talked about some of the lessons learned from her reading of 100 novels and how that experience changed her views on writing and reading. The discussion was rather interesting.

Accidents Happen. Daughter severely sprained her ankle playing basketball with her fellow interns. Monday she begins her internship in Washington D.C. She is toughing it out. Wife didn’t notice the uneven sidewalk while in the Bronx and fell hard on her face and right side. She now has black eye that looks like she was a member of the Fight Club and she terrifically bruised the right side of her body. I am staying indoors in my reading chair I want no part of what is going around.

Getting Soft. My week alone was nice, but when all is said and done, I missed Wife. I miss Daughter too, but she is growing up, moving on and I have to get used to that. Wife and I are just growing old and comfortable together, so when either one of us are gone it’s a break from the routine that makes us both comfortable and crazy from time to time. Wife comes home this afternoon and I for one am very excited about it.

How Geese Survive a Hurricane

From Pat Sullivan of the Associated Press: two geese and a hen wait out Hurricane Rita in a men's restroom at the Houston Zoo.

[Thanks, BoingBoing!]

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Be your own David Carson!


This guy Brendard Dawes has built an interface that creates randomly-generated David Carson-esque layouts.

It's odd, because us graphic designers have been having conversations recently about "layout in a box" -- software that will enable aesthetics-free non-designers to create good-looking design without needing our services; imagine a software app that takes your content and builds a layout for it based on what you select in a pull-down menu: Carson, Jan Tschichold, Paula Scher... it's a little frightening, because I can totally imagine it being possible.

Of course, the software programmers still need us designers around. After all, they still have to copy somebody, right? And if nothing else, my ambition is to be the guy that gets copied a lot. As in, "I can't afford B2! Can we hire someone who can make it look like this was designed by B2?"

How Christian of You

How clever you are, my dear! You never mean a single word you say.
Oscar Wilde (1854–1900), Anglo-Irish playwright, author. Lady Hunstanton to Mrs. Allonby, in A Woman of No Importance, act 2.

This story shows the absolute hypocrisy of religion and particularly in this case the Christian religion. This is what we can expect if the school voucher program were ever to become a reality:

A 14-year-old student was expelled from a Christian school because her parents are lesbians, the school's superintendent said in a letter.

Shay Clark was expelled from Ontario Christian School on Thursday.

"Your family does not meet the policies of admission," Superintendent Leonard Stob wrote to Tina Clark, the girl's biological mother.

Stob wrote that school policy requires that at least one parent may not engage in practices "immoral or inconsistent with a positive Christian life style, such as cohabitating without marriage or in a homosexual relationship," The Los Angeles Times reported in Friday's edition.

Stob could not be reached for comment by the newspaper. Shay and her parents said they won't fight the ruling.

School administrators learned of the parents' relationship this week after Shay was reprimanded for talking to the crowd during a football game, Tina Clark said.

Clark and her partner have been together 22 years and have two other daughters, ages 9 and 19.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Guerilla Gorilla:
Tired of hating Bush

[It's Friday, and that's means it's time for Guerilla Gorilla. He's tired.]

I'm tired of hating President George W. Bush. Why am I tired? Well, firstly, in the interest of full disclosure, I didn't vote for him. Of course, that's because gorillas in this country are still denied even the most basic of rights, such as the right not to be cooped up in a stinking zoo in a "simulated ape habitat" where the only fun to be had is picking ticks off of each other for the amusement of the most obese humans to ever walk the planet. We are also denied the right to drive, which is just damned crazy because I've seen how you humans drive, and I wouldn't be any less safe -- in fact, given my superior foot coordination, I would probably be a little faster getting to the brake than you can be. In addition, since I have no job (because of blatant ape discrimnation in the workforce, also known as the "grass ceiling") I have no where I have to be, so I certainly wouldn't be speeding. Unless I was following a banana truck. But I digress. [grunt]

As I was writing, I am tired of hating Bush. Tired of criticizing his lack of crisis management skills, tired of witnessing the antics of the worst commander-in-chief ever (and I remember the Vietnam War, which was not exactly the most well-handled altercation ever), tired of complaining about his pandering to the religious right, tired of wondering if he thinks I'm going to hell because I don't believe in Jesus so "fuck GG," right? Tired of waiting for him to leave. [grunt]

But I'm also tired from happiness. Tired from jumping up with excitement every time Cheney has a new procedure (Guerilla Gorilla not want him to die, just get sick enough to resign.. wow, so emotional right now forgetting to write good English). Tired from laughing hysterically when Bush misspeaks or mispronounces a foreign leader's name. Tired of smiling so broadly when I read that his approval rate is falling faster than a big bunch of bananas. And tired from the anticipation of a November not too far away when the people will rise up and bring revolution to the streets, and oust this poor excuse for a leader from his post, and finally elect someone who can do the job.

Maybe even a gorilla. [grunt]