Friday, September 23, 2005

Guerilla Gorilla:
Tired of hating Bush

[It's Friday, and that's means it's time for Guerilla Gorilla. He's tired.]

I'm tired of hating President George W. Bush. Why am I tired? Well, firstly, in the interest of full disclosure, I didn't vote for him. Of course, that's because gorillas in this country are still denied even the most basic of rights, such as the right not to be cooped up in a stinking zoo in a "simulated ape habitat" where the only fun to be had is picking ticks off of each other for the amusement of the most obese humans to ever walk the planet. We are also denied the right to drive, which is just damned crazy because I've seen how you humans drive, and I wouldn't be any less safe -- in fact, given my superior foot coordination, I would probably be a little faster getting to the brake than you can be. In addition, since I have no job (because of blatant ape discrimnation in the workforce, also known as the "grass ceiling") I have no where I have to be, so I certainly wouldn't be speeding. Unless I was following a banana truck. But I digress. [grunt]

As I was writing, I am tired of hating Bush. Tired of criticizing his lack of crisis management skills, tired of witnessing the antics of the worst commander-in-chief ever (and I remember the Vietnam War, which was not exactly the most well-handled altercation ever), tired of complaining about his pandering to the religious right, tired of wondering if he thinks I'm going to hell because I don't believe in Jesus so "fuck GG," right? Tired of waiting for him to leave. [grunt]

But I'm also tired from happiness. Tired from jumping up with excitement every time Cheney has a new procedure (Guerilla Gorilla not want him to die, just get sick enough to resign.. wow, so emotional right now forgetting to write good English). Tired from laughing hysterically when Bush misspeaks or mispronounces a foreign leader's name. Tired of smiling so broadly when I read that his approval rate is falling faster than a big bunch of bananas. And tired from the anticipation of a November not too far away when the people will rise up and bring revolution to the streets, and oust this poor excuse for a leader from his post, and finally elect someone who can do the job.

Maybe even a gorilla. [grunt]

1 comment:

Jan said...

It would be nice if we would elect someone who could really do the job. At least Bush can't run again.