Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Supermarket Superheroes

Ran out to the store this evening to buy a few things -- and realized that any errand without the wife and kids can be an adventure, just waiting to be discussed in my blog! In this case, I was stunned by some promotional tie-ins...



Raisin Bran
First, is it really fair to make Chewie the poster boy for a Jedi mind game? He's not a Jedi, and he clearly is puzzled by the whole concept of a game played with one's mind. And what kind of mind game requires cards, available only on the back of a box of Raisin Bran? ("These are not the raisins you seek.")




Popsicles
What a fantastic idea! Four kinds of popsicles: one is stretchy, one is shaped like The Commish, one is invisible (how do you know where to lick?) and one is on fire! My wife points out that popsicles melt, and so she claims the Human Torch popsicle isn't as crazy as I think it is.




Honey Smacks
Jedi Master Mace Windu looks less than pleased to be promoting breakfast cereal... he looks downright psychotic contemplating the "made with real honey" slogan. In fact, with that menacing look in his eyes he looks a bit more like Pulp Fiction's Jules:
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish, and the tyranny of evil men... and I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers, and you will know my name is Dig 'Em, when I lay my Honey Smacks upon thee.



Frosted Mini Wheats
There's just something wrong about a frosted mini wheat wielding a light saber. Especially when he's wielding it against unarmed frosted mini-wheats.




Goobers
No movie tie-in here; I just couldn't go without asking what kind of huge Goobers box preceded this "On the Go" version. Seriously -- was the old box so big that it could only be eaten where it lay? Or were the Goobers themselves so large as to require knife and fork, and hence a more stationary eating position?

36 comments:

bitchphd said...

Did you actually wander around the grocery store taking digital photos for this blog entry? B/c if so, someone else is writing a blog entry about this wierdo who was photographing cereal boxes, and find that entry, you must.

B2 said...

Touché.

Actually, I did keep glancing around to make sure no one was watching... I've gotten in trouble before for taking pictures in the supermarket.

Jack Steiner said...

Those were kind of cool.

Jack Ruttan said...

Samuel L. looked like he was about to behead the Honey Snacks cereal mascot.

bschneider5 said...

Makes you not want to watch star wars?!?!Check mine out - Bradsblog

Chandira said...

Pirate, I don't know what Goobers are either, just that my best friend Julie used to call me Goober. I never asked.. ??
Perhaps I shouldn't..

Anonymous said...

Historically peanuts were called goobers.

Anonymous said...

Goobers are chocolate covered peanuts -- on the go.

Anonymous said...

Chandira - so basically your roomate used to call you a chocolate covered peanut? Were you always on the go?

Anonymous said...

I enjoy farting.

Anonymous said...

Goobers, aka "goober peas" is US Southern slang for peanuts. It's a derivative of the African word "nguba." When they named the candy, a companion to Raisinets, a chocolate-covered raisin, I'm sure they were delighted to have such a great example of colloquial vocabulary to draw upon. That is your etymology lesson for today.

Thomas J. Brown said...

I think we're all missing the truly amazing thing here: that the Honey Smacks come with a prize =in the box=! I thought you had to send away for your cheap crap these days.

Now where the hell is my decoder ring?

Anonymous said...

I made my gf buy a box of Corn Pops just so i could get a Saber Spoon. It's pretty cool, and suprisingly bright.

Anonymous said...

Is the Light-Up Saber Spoon machine-washable? Or are dishwashers part of the Sith plot to destroy the Jedi?

Anonymous said...

Hey... up in Canada the M&M packaging attached to Star Wars Episode 3 has the M&M guys dressed up like characters from the movies - except that none of the characters are from the current trilogy - they're dressed up like Leia, Han Solo (twice) and an Ewok. Luke Skywalker and Chewbacca are also featured as themselves (not M&Ms)... seems to me that Effem (who make M&Ms) knows what's popular even if George Lucas doesn't...

Anonymous said...

Lucas is such a sell-out. We got star wars scratchers here in Cali.

http://www.calottery.com/

crash happy said...

Man, even Chewie lost like "Oy vey! How did my agent talk me into this sh!t?" Jedi mind trick, indeed.

Chandira said...

Chocolate covered peanuts huh? OK.. I can dig that. I can think of worse things they she could have meant.

Guys, now you have all this new traffic, don't forget your old friends, huh? ;-)

crash happy said...

er, "..even Chewie *looks* like..."
[waves hand, "see that typo, you did not..."]

Chandira said...

'Eff 'Em' make M&M's? precious..

Hey, if I were George Lucas, I'd sell out too. I would. Sorry. I can think of a million cool things to do with the cash.

Anonymous said...

I love the Light-Up Saber Spoon, and actually, the other day, my girlfriend and I were shopping for cereal, saw it, and lunged in unison for the shelf. So now we each have one. The translucent top part pops off and is washable, but the handle with the LED built in is not.

Thomas J. Brown said...

Yes, I must admit that tonight I am going to force my fiancee to drive me to the store in the hopes of buying my own light saber spoon.

*sighs*

Geeky, geeky, geeky. Oh well, back to playing Hover! (See, B2, I'm thinking of you!).

Anonymous said...

fyi -- your npr bumper sticker link is messed up. thanks for the cereal boxes. quite fun!

Chandira said...

Light Sabre spoons? I want one! We need new silverware. SOmething classy would be nice.. ;-)

Anonymous said...

I'm more concerned by the name of a popsicle of 'The Thing's Collosal Cola'

That's not too phallic at all!

Anonymous said...

I used to steal cable

Anonymous said...

Doh! I was just at the store and didn't see any saber spoons!

I feel so empty inside...

Anonymous said...

I'm shocked that noone has mentioned the actual HORRIBLE cross-promo stuff on the inside/outside of the M&Ms..

1: Jedi (c) Mix (c) = M&M Peanut
- What makes them a jedi mix is apparently the "Saber" colours inside (pale yellow?, pale blue? other pastels?)

2: Darth (c) Mix (c) = M&M, no peanut
- Dark chocolate M&Ms; what's cross-promo without a villan?

3: Pictures of the M&Ms dressed up next to pictures of real characters (Mentioned above)

4: Slogans on the front like "Luke; I am your peanut" (Uhm...)

5: 50! Collectable "Glatactic Gossip" on the inside of the wrapper - These are the worst bit.. They tie one star wars fact, and one (related?) M&M fact together. Example:


"Mace Windoo thought that the Jedi gave up thier honor to serve the republic"

"Blue learned to play the saxophone so he could be cooler than the others"


(I have a poor memory, but that's the jist of it)

Make sure you collect them ALL!

Anonymous said...

I think the concept with superhero/serious films on eatable products i horrible. in general. it makes the movie/cartoon behind look silly :P

Metahari said...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/metahari/9266322/

He doesn't seem to like Pop's much either, on this box I found at the store.

My friends and I find it interesting that the new movie is rated pg13, but all the marketing is still targeting kids.

Psilocide said...

For the original goober question - only half of it was answered - yes ,it's a peanut, but as to the other meaning, yes, it is also slang for a loogie, aka a piece of phlegm, which is the far more known meaning in the modern era, thus the questionable marketing choices.

Bl@ck Coffee said...

Nice find. The Raisin Bran box is so funny. Someone should get the ax for mass-producing a product like that.

Anonymous said...

I've got links to pictures of the lightsaber spoon here.

Coolest thing I've seen this month.

Anonymous said...

can i still get one of those lightsaber spoons?

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