Andy Roddick lost yesterday, but he really won. The top-ranked player in the Rome Masters tennis tournament had the chance to let a bad call finish off a victory for him, leading to a quarterfinal match with Andre Agassi. His opponent's second serve looked good, but the umpire called it long. Roddick, looking at the ball mark at his feet, which showed that the ball actually was in, had the choice to keep his mouth shut, certainly he's lost calls along the way. Instead, he corrected the umpire, told him his opponent's serve was actually good, and his opponent got the point. Roddick then went on to lose the match, and tens of thousands of dollars (if not more).
In today's world of rampant dishonesty and deceit -- a world where money is king -- I find it so incredibly refreshing to see this display of honesty. If his integrity hits home with even a few kids (and especially some adults), then it's already a grand slam.
Thank you, Andy. You have a new fan.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Crooks Strike Out with Yankees
There is no one thoroughly despicable. We cannot descend much lower than an idiot; and an idiot has some advantages over a wise man.
William Hazlitt (1778–1830), essayist
It could have been out of a scene of the HBO television show "The Sopranos," where a couple of hoods trying to prove themselves by stealing a shipping container from a warehouse, in this case from Elizabeth, New Jersey.
You could just picture the hoodlums high-fiving each other eagerly anticipating safely getting away to a hideaway and inventorying their ill-gotten presents. Well, in this case, the crime did not pay. These two-bit palookas dashed away with 47,000 Yankee caps that were going to be used for free hats on Friday and Saturday nights sponsored by Budweiser and Empire Blue Cross and Blue Shield, according to the New York Times article on the heist.
As these criminals head off into the sunset they are no doubt blaming and slapping each other with their Yankee caps about another fine mess.
William Hazlitt (1778–1830), essayist
It could have been out of a scene of the HBO television show "The Sopranos," where a couple of hoods trying to prove themselves by stealing a shipping container from a warehouse, in this case from Elizabeth, New Jersey.
You could just picture the hoodlums high-fiving each other eagerly anticipating safely getting away to a hideaway and inventorying their ill-gotten presents. Well, in this case, the crime did not pay. These two-bit palookas dashed away with 47,000 Yankee caps that were going to be used for free hats on Friday and Saturday nights sponsored by Budweiser and Empire Blue Cross and Blue Shield, according to the New York Times article on the heist.As these criminals head off into the sunset they are no doubt blaming and slapping each other with their Yankee caps about another fine mess.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
On The Mark -- Ugly Duckling
One has to wonder about some of the “mediagenic” research studies that are conducted. I remember a study of corn-on-the-cob users several years ago that cost something like $350,000. How do you eat your corn-on-the-cob? If you eat it straight across in rows then, according to this study, you’re a thinker and reserved. If you eat it in circular fashion, then you’re the creative type. If you eat chunks of the cob randomly, well, you’re psychotic. The next time you’re at a singles BBQ, you might want to see how the person you’re checking out is eating their cob. Otherwise, I really don’t see where this kind of study merits that kind of dough.
Anyway, the latest one is on beautiful vs. ugly children. “Ugly Children May Get Parental Short Shrift” is the headline in the current issue of Science Times. Basically, the ugly kids were not watched as carefully and got into trouble, while the beautiful kids got all kinds of supervision and attention (particularly boys). I believe the study is supposed to show how this affects kids as they grow older.
Admittedly, I haven’t seen the study or reviewed the methodology. But I’d really like to know what the criteria were for determining a beautiful kid vs. an ugly kid. Was it an American Idol kind of thing where judges determined which category the kid belonged in? Were the researchers ugly or beautiful? I can remember many times in my life when I’ve said, “Wow, that woman is gorgeous,” and a friend would say, “I don’t think she’s that great” and vice versa.
Plus there’s the issue of ugly kids who grow up beautiful. How many of you have experienced the moment when you see a niece or nephew for the first time in 10 or so years (7 vs. 17 years of age, for example) and can’t believe it’s the same person because they were cute as a kid but ugly now or the other way around?
So this study gets lots of press because it’s “mediagenic.” But who cares?
Anyway, the latest one is on beautiful vs. ugly children. “Ugly Children May Get Parental Short Shrift” is the headline in the current issue of Science Times. Basically, the ugly kids were not watched as carefully and got into trouble, while the beautiful kids got all kinds of supervision and attention (particularly boys). I believe the study is supposed to show how this affects kids as they grow older.
Admittedly, I haven’t seen the study or reviewed the methodology. But I’d really like to know what the criteria were for determining a beautiful kid vs. an ugly kid. Was it an American Idol kind of thing where judges determined which category the kid belonged in? Were the researchers ugly or beautiful? I can remember many times in my life when I’ve said, “Wow, that woman is gorgeous,” and a friend would say, “I don’t think she’s that great” and vice versa.
Plus there’s the issue of ugly kids who grow up beautiful. How many of you have experienced the moment when you see a niece or nephew for the first time in 10 or so years (7 vs. 17 years of age, for example) and can’t believe it’s the same person because they were cute as a kid but ugly now or the other way around?
So this study gets lots of press because it’s “mediagenic.” But who cares?
Feeling Sympathetic Toward England
It is my act, my hand, my heart: I beseech your lordships to be merciful to a broken reed.
Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626), English philosopher
It seems to me on the surface that the military judge that abruptly tossed out a guilty plea and declared a mistrial in the court-martial of Pfc. Lynndie R. England, may have done the right thing.
England does not sound like the sharpest tool in the shed, which is no excuse, but try to be the one to tell pumped up soldiers not to mistreat enemy combatants. I am not saying for even one second, that she should not be punished, but maybe her punishment she be along the lines of reading and community service, so that she is not just punished, but she learns something out of the process. Maybe gain knowledge to pass along to her newborn child.
The judge, Col. James Pohl, dismissed the jury in the sentencing phase of her case and sent the year-old matter back to a lieutenant general who will weigh a range of options, including starting over or dismissing the case.
I find myself feeling very sympathetic toward England in this case.
Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626), English philosopher
It seems to me on the surface that the military judge that abruptly tossed out a guilty plea and declared a mistrial in the court-martial of Pfc. Lynndie R. England, may have done the right thing.
England does not sound like the sharpest tool in the shed, which is no excuse, but try to be the one to tell pumped up soldiers not to mistreat enemy combatants. I am not saying for even one second, that she should not be punished, but maybe her punishment she be along the lines of reading and community service, so that she is not just punished, but she learns something out of the process. Maybe gain knowledge to pass along to her newborn child.
The judge, Col. James Pohl, dismissed the jury in the sentencing phase of her case and sent the year-old matter back to a lieutenant general who will weigh a range of options, including starting over or dismissing the case.
I find myself feeling very sympathetic toward England in this case.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
On The Mark -- Gross Negligence
I'm sure you recall all the media coverage regarding the death of Pat Tillman, the Army Ranger who died while fighting in Afghanistan in the same unit as his brother, the same Pat Tillman who gave up a lucrative NFL contract to join the Army to defend our country. Other soldiers before and after him had and have died, but his death got all the attention because he gave up so much to fight terrorism. I didn't have a problem with all the coverage, I wish every fallen soldier would get the same attention for their bravery. But Tillman's situation was milked for everything the government could get out of it.
Now, buried in the papers (if it's even covered at all) is the news that Army officials knew within days that Tillman had been killed by friendly fire, but didn't inform his family and the public for weeks.
In fact, the Army had determined that Tillman died of gross negligence FOUR days before the nationally televised memorial. Obviously, "someone" knew that the media coverage would change significantly if they had this information. In death, Tillman was used.
Don't get me wrong, a soldier's death, whether it be by friendly or enemy fire, is a tragic occurrence. It doesn't matter where the bullet came from. What's sad is that someone, somewhere, said let's wait until the memorial is over so this doesn't become a story about what went wrong. Let's take advantage of Tillman's notoreity to build support for this war.
Now, buried in the papers (if it's even covered at all) is the news that Army officials knew within days that Tillman had been killed by friendly fire, but didn't inform his family and the public for weeks.
In fact, the Army had determined that Tillman died of gross negligence FOUR days before the nationally televised memorial. Obviously, "someone" knew that the media coverage would change significantly if they had this information. In death, Tillman was used.
Don't get me wrong, a soldier's death, whether it be by friendly or enemy fire, is a tragic occurrence. It doesn't matter where the bullet came from. What's sad is that someone, somewhere, said let's wait until the memorial is over so this doesn't become a story about what went wrong. Let's take advantage of Tillman's notoreity to build support for this war.
Pom Poms and Burkas
You've got to understand, this business is about selling, and blonde and blue-eyed girls are what sells.
Naomi Campbell, fashion model
Why does it always seem like Texas, Florida and Alabama are always doing something stupid to encroach on civil rights or find something subversive in everything from cartoon characters to television shows? Legislators in Texas are considering legislation to ban 'sexually suggestive' performances in schools by cheerleaders. Exposed midriffs and ever shorter shorts and skirts have particularly outraged some legislators.
The proposed law would ban dance routines by school cheerleaders at sports events that one politician said was like something out of a strip club. The bill would allow the Texas Education Agency to ban routines deemed vulgar or excessive.
One of the co-authors of the bill, Republican Corbin Van Arsdale, said many parents want restrictions because they go to Friday night games to see young men clashing on the football field, not girls shaking their behinds on the sidelines.
If the courts cannot define pornography just how are these people going to set rules for sexually suggestive? Maybe the answer is cheerleaders in burkas.
Naomi Campbell, fashion model
Why does it always seem like Texas, Florida and Alabama are always doing something stupid to encroach on civil rights or find something subversive in everything from cartoon characters to television shows? Legislators in Texas are considering legislation to ban 'sexually suggestive' performances in schools by cheerleaders. Exposed midriffs and ever shorter shorts and skirts have particularly outraged some legislators.
The proposed law would ban dance routines by school cheerleaders at sports events that one politician said was like something out of a strip club. The bill would allow the Texas Education Agency to ban routines deemed vulgar or excessive.
One of the co-authors of the bill, Republican Corbin Van Arsdale, said many parents want restrictions because they go to Friday night games to see young men clashing on the football field, not girls shaking their behinds on the sidelines.
If the courts cannot define pornography just how are these people going to set rules for sexually suggestive? Maybe the answer is cheerleaders in burkas.
Refreshing, it is.
Drink it, you must.
Yoda has sold out. In a commercial for a certain diet cola beverage, the venerable Jedi Master is seen using the Force to steal another patron's soda can.
Does Yoda have no integrity? No moral compass? No consistency? After all, he won't even use the Force to help him walk better, saving up those midichlorians for only the most dire of emergencies.
And, apparently, for a hard-to-quench thirst.
Even Chewbacca got roped into the deal, but you just know he didn't get the same fee that Yoda demanded.
You can watch the commercial here.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
On The Mark -- China's Winning the Chess Match
If you haven’t noticed, there are some very interesting chess moves occurring in Asia right now. China and Taiwan have been at odds since the Nationalists fled to the island in 1949, and there’s been strong talk of military action in recent months. China continues to regard Taiwan as a secessionist province. It wasn’t that long ago when China put on a big naval war games show in the Taiwan Strait that brought rebukes and threats from several nations, most notably the United States.
China’s leadership and Taiwan’s president (Chen Shui-bian) have basically ignored each other and have made (thankfully) empty threats for the past five years or so. But China made a very shrewd move – right out of Karl Rove’s handbook, if you will. China’s leadership invited the top opponent (Lien Chan) of Chen’s to visit the mainland. You may have seen the large photos depicting Lien shaking hands with the Chinese leadership. Unless you were really paying attention, you probably thought Taiwan’s and China’s leaders were finally trying to work it out. You were wrong. And that’s the whole point behind China’s strategy.
Meanwhile, back in Taiwan, the current president, Chen, who has twice defeated Lien in the polls, is saying, hey wait a minute, why is the guy I’ve beaten twice getting all this world leader, global attention? What about me? And that’s the whole point behind China’s strategy. China has managed to minimize Chen on the world stage. And now Chen is throwing out peace proposals to ease the tension, while the Chinese chuckle behind the scenes and ask yet another opposition leader (James Soong) to visit the mainland.
While there’s been a lot of talk about Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran and North Korea, China has quietly built a larger world stage. I don’t know if it’s China’s century, as some are proclaiming, but I do know that they consider Taiwan as a temperamental, runaway child that will one day come home, whether it likes it or not. From China’s perspective, 56 years is like 56 days.
China’s leadership and Taiwan’s president (Chen Shui-bian) have basically ignored each other and have made (thankfully) empty threats for the past five years or so. But China made a very shrewd move – right out of Karl Rove’s handbook, if you will. China’s leadership invited the top opponent (Lien Chan) of Chen’s to visit the mainland. You may have seen the large photos depicting Lien shaking hands with the Chinese leadership. Unless you were really paying attention, you probably thought Taiwan’s and China’s leaders were finally trying to work it out. You were wrong. And that’s the whole point behind China’s strategy.
Meanwhile, back in Taiwan, the current president, Chen, who has twice defeated Lien in the polls, is saying, hey wait a minute, why is the guy I’ve beaten twice getting all this world leader, global attention? What about me? And that’s the whole point behind China’s strategy. China has managed to minimize Chen on the world stage. And now Chen is throwing out peace proposals to ease the tension, while the Chinese chuckle behind the scenes and ask yet another opposition leader (James Soong) to visit the mainland.
While there’s been a lot of talk about Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran and North Korea, China has quietly built a larger world stage. I don’t know if it’s China’s century, as some are proclaiming, but I do know that they consider Taiwan as a temperamental, runaway child that will one day come home, whether it likes it or not. From China’s perspective, 56 years is like 56 days.
It’s More Than Flooring for a Bird Cage
"What is the role of a free and independent press in a democratic society? Is it to be a passive conduit responsible only for the delivery of information between government and its people? Is it to aggressively print allegation and rumor independent of accuracy or fairness? Is it to show boobies?"
Jon Stewart, from America (The Book) A Citizen’s Guide to Democracy Inaction
It occurred to me while reading an article in Monday’s New York Times about the media working hard to keep advertisers that the Republicans’ continual harping about how bad the media is will only serve to hurt the country in the end. Newspaper circulation has been on a general decline since 1984, and has suffered especially in the last several years as other forms of media compete for the attention of readers, including cable television and the Internet.
The newspaper circulation fell 1.9 percent at major U.S. newspapers in the six-month period ending in March, an industry group reported, marking one of the worst declines in recent years.
I would content that the lack of real interest in current events has contributed to a general ignorance that allowed President George Bush to be re-elected. Since readership has been in decline since 1984, we have had only Republican presidents. Bill Clinton was an anomaly. He may never have been elected if H. Ross Perot had not siphoned votes from President Father Bush.
Today, people just read their news on the Internet or receive headlines from the network news. Network news is a misnomer, it’s more like network pabulum. Cable is just a bunch of talking heads pushing one agenda or the other. Granted, I know this is generalizing and reflects my bias, but our country in order to function properly needs an informed citizenry. Chances are that if you are reading this you are most likely a newspaper reader and informed about issues (or a relative checking to see if I have mentioned you – hello mother), since we mostly write about current events, except when B2 finds some new Chewbacca angle. Also, needless to say to our readers, but if you get your news from Toner Mishap you are certainly not among the informed, it would be like getting your news from Jon Stewart’s Daily Show, just not as funny (it’s a cable show, you don’t get it mother).
I say subscribe to a newspaper today; and when you go on vacation donate that week or two to a local school. It’s important that newspaper reading is encouraged.
Jon Stewart, from America (The Book) A Citizen’s Guide to Democracy Inaction
It occurred to me while reading an article in Monday’s New York Times about the media working hard to keep advertisers that the Republicans’ continual harping about how bad the media is will only serve to hurt the country in the end. Newspaper circulation has been on a general decline since 1984, and has suffered especially in the last several years as other forms of media compete for the attention of readers, including cable television and the Internet.
The newspaper circulation fell 1.9 percent at major U.S. newspapers in the six-month period ending in March, an industry group reported, marking one of the worst declines in recent years.
I would content that the lack of real interest in current events has contributed to a general ignorance that allowed President George Bush to be re-elected. Since readership has been in decline since 1984, we have had only Republican presidents. Bill Clinton was an anomaly. He may never have been elected if H. Ross Perot had not siphoned votes from President Father Bush.
Today, people just read their news on the Internet or receive headlines from the network news. Network news is a misnomer, it’s more like network pabulum. Cable is just a bunch of talking heads pushing one agenda or the other. Granted, I know this is generalizing and reflects my bias, but our country in order to function properly needs an informed citizenry. Chances are that if you are reading this you are most likely a newspaper reader and informed about issues (or a relative checking to see if I have mentioned you – hello mother), since we mostly write about current events, except when B2 finds some new Chewbacca angle. Also, needless to say to our readers, but if you get your news from Toner Mishap you are certainly not among the informed, it would be like getting your news from Jon Stewart’s Daily Show, just not as funny (it’s a cable show, you don’t get it mother).
I say subscribe to a newspaper today; and when you go on vacation donate that week or two to a local school. It’s important that newspaper reading is encouraged.
Monday, May 02, 2005
On The Mark -- Sorry Ladies, Roosters Come First
If you live in South Carolina, anyway. Recently, the state’s House Judiciary Committee stopped a bill to increase penalties for wife battering. At the same time, they approved a bill that made cock-fighting a felony.
You don’t have to read that paragraph again. You got it right the first time, as unbelievable as it is.
Here’s what one assemblyman, John Graham Altman, had to say about the wife-beating bill that he played a big part in defeating: He said the bill wasn’t necessary because a battered woman should never go home to get hit again. When a newswoman asked him what was worth more – a gamecock’s life or a woman’s life – Altman reportedly replied, “You’re not very bright, you’ll just have to live with that.”
By the way, this is the same assemblyman who proposed a “Choose Death” license plate for pro-choice drivers, among other crazy things.
Republicans in the state are re-thinking the wife-battering bill and looking at new legislation that would make domestic violence a felony on the third offense. Believe it or not, that would be an improvement over what’s on the books right now.
Yes, this is the 21st Century.
You don’t have to read that paragraph again. You got it right the first time, as unbelievable as it is.
Here’s what one assemblyman, John Graham Altman, had to say about the wife-beating bill that he played a big part in defeating: He said the bill wasn’t necessary because a battered woman should never go home to get hit again. When a newswoman asked him what was worth more – a gamecock’s life or a woman’s life – Altman reportedly replied, “You’re not very bright, you’ll just have to live with that.”
By the way, this is the same assemblyman who proposed a “Choose Death” license plate for pro-choice drivers, among other crazy things.
Republicans in the state are re-thinking the wife-battering bill and looking at new legislation that would make domestic violence a felony on the third offense. Believe it or not, that would be an improvement over what’s on the books right now.
Yes, this is the 21st Century.
The Original Magic Bullet Express
Saw it at Target; couldn't resist repeating some of the claims of this product -- it is, after all, "The HI-SPEED BLENDER/MIXER SYSTEM That does it all!"
Turn your leftover chicken into a mouthwatering lunch favorite your whole family will love! The chicken starts in your mouth, travels through your stomach, exits here [picture shown on box] and proceeds to travel through the mouths and stomachs of every one at the table!
Effortlessly grate hard or soft cheeses; do three different cheeses in only 5.6 seconds, including reloading time!
Make this quick, flavorful sauce to add to your favorite pasta. After you load the tomatoes here, they burst from the machine, turn 90 degrees -- in mid-air -- and land on the other side of the blender, where they are squashed into sauce!
Same Old Story
Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
George Orwell, writer
This article in the New York Times is frightening and very disturbing.
The Republican chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting is aggressively pressing public television to correct what he and other conservatives consider liberal bias, prompting some public broadcasting leaders - including the chief executive of PBS - to object that his actions pose a threat to editorial independence.
Without the knowledge of his board, the chairman, Kenneth Y. Tomlinson, contracted last year with an outside consultant to keep track of the guests' political leanings on one program, "Now With Bill Moyers."
In late March, on the recommendation of administration officials, Mr. Tomlinson hired the director of the White House Office of Global Communications as a senior staff member, corporation officials said. While she was still on the White House staff, she helped draft guidelines governing the work of two ombudsmen whom the corporation recently appointed to review the content of public radio and television broadcasts.
Mr. Tomlinson also encouraged corporation and public broadcasting officials to broadcast "The Journal Editorial Report," whose host, Paul Gigot, is editor of the conservative editorial page of The Wall Street Journal. And while a search firm has been retained to find a successor for Kathleen A. Cox, the corporation's president and chief executive, whose contract was not renewed last month, Mr. Tomlinson has made clear to the board that his choice is Patricia Harrison, a former co-chairwoman of the Republican National Committee who is now an assistant secretary of state.
Mr. Tomlinson said that he was striving for balance and had no desire to impose a political point of view on programming, explaining that his efforts are intended to help public broadcasting distinguish itself in a 500-channel universe and gain financial and political support.
"My goal here is to see programming that satisfies a broad constituency," he said, adding, "I'm not after removing shows or tampering internally with shows."
But he has repeatedly criticized public television programs as too liberal overall, and said in the interview, "I frankly feel at PBS headquarters there is a tone deafness to issues of tone and balance."
They never let up on their mission to control everything.
George Orwell, writer
This article in the New York Times is frightening and very disturbing.
The Republican chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting is aggressively pressing public television to correct what he and other conservatives consider liberal bias, prompting some public broadcasting leaders - including the chief executive of PBS - to object that his actions pose a threat to editorial independence.
Without the knowledge of his board, the chairman, Kenneth Y. Tomlinson, contracted last year with an outside consultant to keep track of the guests' political leanings on one program, "Now With Bill Moyers."
In late March, on the recommendation of administration officials, Mr. Tomlinson hired the director of the White House Office of Global Communications as a senior staff member, corporation officials said. While she was still on the White House staff, she helped draft guidelines governing the work of two ombudsmen whom the corporation recently appointed to review the content of public radio and television broadcasts.
Mr. Tomlinson also encouraged corporation and public broadcasting officials to broadcast "The Journal Editorial Report," whose host, Paul Gigot, is editor of the conservative editorial page of The Wall Street Journal. And while a search firm has been retained to find a successor for Kathleen A. Cox, the corporation's president and chief executive, whose contract was not renewed last month, Mr. Tomlinson has made clear to the board that his choice is Patricia Harrison, a former co-chairwoman of the Republican National Committee who is now an assistant secretary of state.
Mr. Tomlinson said that he was striving for balance and had no desire to impose a political point of view on programming, explaining that his efforts are intended to help public broadcasting distinguish itself in a 500-channel universe and gain financial and political support.
"My goal here is to see programming that satisfies a broad constituency," he said, adding, "I'm not after removing shows or tampering internally with shows."
But he has repeatedly criticized public television programs as too liberal overall, and said in the interview, "I frankly feel at PBS headquarters there is a tone deafness to issues of tone and balance."
They never let up on their mission to control everything.
Search Strings -- April 2005
Thank you for finding Toner Mishap; now explain to us why you're looking for this stuff!
family guy naked
cock fighting
i am chewbacca
cleaning toner out of carpet
g-string divas music
what are the effects of tasers on kids
chewbacca defense
injustice anywhere is the threat of injustice everywhere
chewbacca wookie song mp3
brigette neilsen
jedi mix m&m peanut
Sunday, May 01, 2005
The Misanthrope –Sunday’s Lighter Side
If you want work well done, select a busy man: the other kind has no time.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915), writer, printer, and editor.
Working. I like being busy, but I resent being so busy that I have no time for anything except to drive to work. When B2 told me about the urinal piece, which I loved, I barely had time to cobble together my piece (he would have kindly waited, but I was eager to add my two cents). The urinal idea struck me as something Nicholson Baker could have written. My newspapers continue to stay pristine, but the contents have gone stale. I am composing this on Saturday at my desk downtown at 3:30 p.m. awaiting a 4 p.m. conference call. I have listened to the new Bruce Springsteen CD “Devils & Dust” at least three times today, because I already listened to my CD compilations of Josh Stone and Miles Davis. Oh well, I have it better than the other individuals who worked for two days without sleep last weekend.
Driving Aimlessly. Poor Daughter had an interview for an internship, but ended up driving the Southern California freeway system missing turnoffs and exits for almost three hours. If you were to diagram her travels, it would look almost like three-points on a star. Daughter goes back for phase-two next week. She now knows exactly how to get there and can provide directions to most anywhere in the So. Cal area.
CDs. I am sure everyone feels that they can make a music mix for a CD or an iPod better than anyone else, but I do make a heck of a CD. In my car currently playing are Neil Young’s Greatest Hits; Joe Lovano’s “I am All for You;” my mix of songs from Tierney Sutton, my mix of Frank Sinatra love-lost songs, which is simply great; a mix of the Kinks and one I made in between showering and dressing the other morning, which was a selection of rain songs. I had many to select from, here is a sampling of what I chose:
Tom Waits – Make it Rain
Cassandra Wilson – I Can’t Stand the Rain
Carmen McRae – Come in Out of the Rain
Leon Russell – A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall
Creedence Clearwater Revival – Who’ll Stop the Rain
Joe Cocker – I Can Stand a Little Rain
Randy Newman – I Think it is Going to Rain Today
Stan Getz – Here’s That Rainy Day
Billie Holiday -- Come Rain or Shine
People. I was having my Saturday night dinner at 8:45 p.m.; a bowl of soup and two cold slices of last night’s pizza. The baseball game was on the television and I was flipping through the People magazine, when my heart jumped into my throat. The *&%*$%#* magazine had an ad for the CBS Elvis movie that blasted out the King’s "Blue Suede Shoes," when you turned the page. A tribe of pigmy elves could have swarmed the house and I would have been only slightly more surprised.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915), writer, printer, and editor.
Working. I like being busy, but I resent being so busy that I have no time for anything except to drive to work. When B2 told me about the urinal piece, which I loved, I barely had time to cobble together my piece (he would have kindly waited, but I was eager to add my two cents). The urinal idea struck me as something Nicholson Baker could have written. My newspapers continue to stay pristine, but the contents have gone stale. I am composing this on Saturday at my desk downtown at 3:30 p.m. awaiting a 4 p.m. conference call. I have listened to the new Bruce Springsteen CD “Devils & Dust” at least three times today, because I already listened to my CD compilations of Josh Stone and Miles Davis. Oh well, I have it better than the other individuals who worked for two days without sleep last weekend.
Driving Aimlessly. Poor Daughter had an interview for an internship, but ended up driving the Southern California freeway system missing turnoffs and exits for almost three hours. If you were to diagram her travels, it would look almost like three-points on a star. Daughter goes back for phase-two next week. She now knows exactly how to get there and can provide directions to most anywhere in the So. Cal area.
CDs. I am sure everyone feels that they can make a music mix for a CD or an iPod better than anyone else, but I do make a heck of a CD. In my car currently playing are Neil Young’s Greatest Hits; Joe Lovano’s “I am All for You;” my mix of songs from Tierney Sutton, my mix of Frank Sinatra love-lost songs, which is simply great; a mix of the Kinks and one I made in between showering and dressing the other morning, which was a selection of rain songs. I had many to select from, here is a sampling of what I chose:
Tom Waits – Make it Rain
Cassandra Wilson – I Can’t Stand the Rain
Carmen McRae – Come in Out of the Rain
Leon Russell – A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall
Creedence Clearwater Revival – Who’ll Stop the Rain
Joe Cocker – I Can Stand a Little Rain
Randy Newman – I Think it is Going to Rain Today
Stan Getz – Here’s That Rainy Day
Billie Holiday -- Come Rain or Shine
People. I was having my Saturday night dinner at 8:45 p.m.; a bowl of soup and two cold slices of last night’s pizza. The baseball game was on the television and I was flipping through the People magazine, when my heart jumped into my throat. The *&%*$%#* magazine had an ad for the CBS Elvis movie that blasted out the King’s "Blue Suede Shoes," when you turned the page. A tribe of pigmy elves could have swarmed the house and I would have been only slightly more surprised.
Saturday, April 30, 2005
On The Mark -- Movie Formula
A lazy Saturday movie formula for you (based on a preview I saw recently):
Seabiscuit X Rocky = Cinderella Man
the upcoming movie (opening June 1) starring Russell Crowe and Rene Zellweger. I like Ron Howard films (the director of "Cinderella Man"), but my immediate reaction was: oh brother, could it possibly be more obvious?
I'm hoping the movie trailer isn't true to the movie.
Seabiscuit X Rocky = Cinderella Man
the upcoming movie (opening June 1) starring Russell Crowe and Rene Zellweger. I like Ron Howard films (the director of "Cinderella Man"), but my immediate reaction was: oh brother, could it possibly be more obvious?
I'm hoping the movie trailer isn't true to the movie.
Don't know what it is, but I have the cure.
My wife pointed out this weird word on her hand cream -- what is "crepiness"? No dictionary I have checked includes the word. Googling it brings up a couple of skin product websites that mention the word without actually defining it; is this a new made-up beauty word?
Friday, April 29, 2005
Put down the sandwich, and come out with your hands up!
Someone called authorities yesterday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High in New Mexico. The police put armed officers on rooftops, closed nearby streets and locked down the school.
The "something" turned out to be a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.
[Source]
The "something" turned out to be a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.
[Source]
G.I. Jew
Listen and cringe. And laugh. And plotz.
Lyrics include:
Lyrics include:
The Catholics blame him for murdering Jesus (G.I. Jew is there!)[Thanks, Mike, for pointing me to Silence of the Lambs: The Musical; that's where I found it.]
He cuts the skin off the tip of your penis. (G.I. Jew is there!)
Urinal Selection Strategy
This is going to rock your world... if you're a woman. Here's the thing: when guys walk into a public bathroom, we draw on gaming theory to determine which urinal we will use. And almost every guy will pick the same urinal, given the same set of circumstances. Even stranger, this jockeying for position requires virtually no conscious thought -- in fact, thinking about it too much can disrupt the process.
Rather than try to prove this with the strength of my prose alone, I am providing a visual aid and scenario role-playing; guys, tell me if I stray from the true (and ladies, you can ask your man about this; he may try to avoid the question, but we can't deny our instincts).
Scenario 1
Guy walks into the bathroom. It is unoccupied.
Urinal choice
Any urinal is acceptable, as long as no one else is there. And if someone else comes in, there is always room for an empty urinal between the two guys.
Scenario 2
Guy walks into the bathroom. Urinal #1 is occupied.
Urinal choice
#4 is the first choice, and #3 is acceptable if #4 has not been flushed. Guys will not choose #2.
Scenario 3
Guy walks into the bathroom. Urinal #2 is occupied.
Urinal choice
#4 is the only acceptable choice.
Scenario 4
Guy walks into the bathroom. Urinals #1 and #3 (or #2 and #4) are occupied.
Urinal choice
There is no acceptable urinal. Wash your hands for a while and wait for an opening, or use a seat. Or just hold it until you get home.
Scenario 5
You're the only one in the bathroom, and you're standing at #1 (as is appropriate). Some guy walks in and, though #4 and #3 are both clean and available, he steps up to #2.
What do you do?
Halt the flow, zip up, wash, and get out; don't look back.
Rather than try to prove this with the strength of my prose alone, I am providing a visual aid and scenario role-playing; guys, tell me if I stray from the true (and ladies, you can ask your man about this; he may try to avoid the question, but we can't deny our instincts).
Scenario 1
Guy walks into the bathroom. It is unoccupied.
Urinal choice
Any urinal is acceptable, as long as no one else is there. And if someone else comes in, there is always room for an empty urinal between the two guys.
Scenario 2
Guy walks into the bathroom. Urinal #1 is occupied.
Urinal choice
#4 is the first choice, and #3 is acceptable if #4 has not been flushed. Guys will not choose #2.
Scenario 3
Guy walks into the bathroom. Urinal #2 is occupied.
Urinal choice
#4 is the only acceptable choice.
Scenario 4
Guy walks into the bathroom. Urinals #1 and #3 (or #2 and #4) are occupied.
Urinal choice
There is no acceptable urinal. Wash your hands for a while and wait for an opening, or use a seat. Or just hold it until you get home.
Scenario 5
You're the only one in the bathroom, and you're standing at #1 (as is appropriate). Some guy walks in and, though #4 and #3 are both clean and available, he steps up to #2.
What do you do?
Halt the flow, zip up, wash, and get out; don't look back.
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