Hiking

Me thinks that the moment my legs begin to move, my thoughts begin to flow.
Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862), writer, philosopher

The past two weekends I have gone on relatively short hikes with my buddy, who knows that I would starve if it wasn’t for his great pizza, garlic bread, meatballs, spaghetti and minestrone soup.

Here are a couple of pictures from the Santa Susanna Mountains.

Looking east from Simi Valley toward the San Fernando Valley at approximately 7:15 a.m. Sunday, Feb. 12

Looking west toward Simi Valley somewhere between 7 a.m. and 8 a.m. Monday, Feb.6

Worse Than A Cell Phone

I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle.
Jane Austen (1775 - 1817), novelist

There doesn’t seem like there is anything worse than the knucklehead in front of you yakking on the phone slowing traffic down. However, and I am a bit ashamed to admit it, but what I was doing was far worse.

I was stuck on the 405 freeway (aka San Diego freeway) going over the Sepulveda pass when I spied a license plate that read HA8 D 405.

I had to have a picture of it for the blog, but alas, all I did was hold up traffic and I didn’t get the shot. While it’s not in the league with the shooting of a friend, allow me to apologize for my self indulgence. The license plate belonged to the SUV in front of me, but I couldn't risk getting too close and having to stop suddenly. As it is, my insurance is going to go up $300 a year because I moved 10 miles east!

A What If Role Reversal

A gun is the ideal weapon of the detached, the reticent, the almost autistic. It is the opposite of a relationship.
Attributed to Oswald Mosley (1896 - 1980), British politician

What if, the 78-year-old lawyer, Harry M. Whittington, the man Cheney shot or as the White House gang refers to it – peppered – had shot Cheney. I suspect that the White House would have immediately released the information.

Not only would the information have been released within minutes, but the incident would be used to rise the terrorist threat to bright red. Then Turd Blossom (aka Karl Rove), would swing into action and make up some crazy rationalization why Congress should unilaterally allow the president to continue spying on its citizens, least the terrorists take advantage of the situation.

Poor Whittington, who happened to have accidentally shot VP Dark Heart, would already be on his way to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba to find out who else was involved. His family would be shipped to one of the European torture camps to ensure there was no conspiracy.

The idiot president would show his loyalty and appoint Harriet Miers to fill in the wounded VP, meanwhile French surgeons from "new Europe" would be flown in for a possible face transplant, since the ol’ VP’s mug was pockmarked with iron pepper.

Donald Rumsfeld would hold a press conference to reassure us that stuff happens, but all was well, it is just the networks and the cable stations showing the same footage of the VP being shot that are creating the problem.

Well, it all goes back to the English newspaper headline after the election, “How can 93 million people be so stupid to have reelected this gang?

If You Must – Happy Valentine’s Day

The essence of romantic love is that wonderful beginning, after which sadness and impossibility may become the rule.
Anita Brookner, novelist, art historian

Everyone knows that it is Valentine’s Day. Just 51 days ago, husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends all showed their love for one another on Christmas or during Hanukah, and now it’s required again? It all seems a bit silly to me, but than again I am single, so I’m obviously no expert.

Even while married, I found this pseudo holiday incredibly contrived and simply a way for Hallmark and florists to flourish. Maybe that was part of the problem. So to celebrate this Valentine’s Day I will watch the movie "Four Brothers" exact revenge for the death of their mother.

I am such the romantic.

The above photo is titled "Drinking Alone."

A Bit Off Centered, for Now

Somehow, a bachelor never quite gets over the idea that he is a thing of beauty and a boy for ever!
Helen Rowland (1875–1950), journalist

I am on my own and it’s a whole new experience.

It’s taken me two weeks to finally get around to going grocery shopping. Once in the store, I really didn’t need that much. I purchased some cashews, a bottle of cheap red wine to go with the spaghetti I planned to have that evening. A case of bottled water because after two nights without any sparkling or regular bottled water, I vowed, as Scarlet O’Hara did in “Gone with the Wind,” as God is my witness, I shall never be without bottled water again. I purchased some microwave popcorn. A few cans of soup, which has become my dinner on most nights.

I have yet to cook anything and most likely it will be a while before I venture into that territory. My source of food has been my friend’s pizzeria. Get all my pick orders at half price. Mostly, I order minestrone soup, a side of meatballs and a slice of garlic bread. The pizza I have delivered on Friday’s.

Saturday, I dropped off clothes at the dry cleaners. I asked how much the shirts were to have cleaned and I was told $3.75. I was shocked and immediately called the ex and asked how much she paid. She didn’t know, she just paid it. I settled for having the shirts laundered for $1.75. But, if all they do is wash them and press them, then maybe I can do that. Once I buy an iron and ironing board.

My pictures are still situated on the floor around the place, because I need someone to help me hang them, otherwise everything will be off center and crooked.

The Rolling Stones Make the Super Bowl

Augustin knew temptation
He loved women, wine and song
And all the special pleasures
Of doing something
You'll never make a saint of me
The Rolling Stones “Saint of Me” written by Mick Jagger/Keith Richards

Here is my take on the Super Bowl: the game was sloppily played with Seattle choking. They dropped passes that should have been caught and they were not thinking as passes that were caught the receiver was out of bounds.

However, I didn’t have a favorite and I had no money on the game, I just wanted to see the halftime show with The Rolling Stones.

I was not disappointed. Mick Jagger had the dance and the swagger turned up. However, and this is where the hypocrisy of the ABC network came into play. The editors of the halftime show cut a few words from the Stones’ songs. Here is how Associated Press described it:

Two sexually explicit lyrics were excised from the rock legends' performance Sunday. The only song to avoid the editor was "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction," a 41-year-old song about sexual frustration.

In "Start Me Up," the show's editors silenced one word, a reference to a woman's sexual sway over a dead man. The lyrics for "Rough Justice" included a synonym for rooster that the network also deemed worth cutting out.

Now what is so silly is that the commercials where far more sexual with innuendos than the Stones song, if anyone could understand the lyrics.

I also have another bone of contention. The AP reporter obviously is not a Stones fan because he doesn’t realize that the whole Rolling Stones appeal is their very practiced ragged, rough performances.

Jagger, at age 62, is still a force of nature, strutting and dancing across a stage designed as a replica of their famed wagging tongue logo. The band's performance felt ragged _ they seemed just warming up during the opening "Start Me Up," and a three-song set affords no such luxury.

The Stones chose three tough rockers, including the best song from their well-received recent album and one of their most enduring hits.

"Here's one we could have done at Super Bowl I," Jagger wryly said in introducing "Satisfaction."

It was their best, most energetic effort, and ended with Jagger blowing a kiss to the audience. But unlike U2's performance four years ago at the Super Bowl, their set was not an example of a band at its peak rising to the majesty of the event.

Nonsense. The three song set was the Stones in top form, if you didn’t like that you are not really a Stones fan.

Whoa... heavy.

Click and watch.

[Thanks, BoingBoing!]

I've seen three of them

I've apaprently only seen three of the movies ominated for Oscars this year (I apparently spent more time with my family than I did with MGM, etc.):

Batman Begins (cinematography)
Star Wars Episode III (make-up)
Charlie & the Chocolate Factory (costume design)

Excerpts from Hamas' Charter:"The Martyrs' Oath"

Hamas has apparently won a landslide victory in parliamentary elections in what is now being called Palestine. Why is this a big deal? To start with, because they are murderous bastards who have been behind most of the terrorist attacks in Israel. Here are two excerpts from Hamas' charter:

"Our struggle against the Jews is very great and very serious...The Movement is but one squadron that should be supported by more and more squadrons from this vast Arab and Islamic world, until the enemy is vanquished and Allah's victory is realised..."

"The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him salvation, has said: 'The Day of Judgement will not come about until Muslims fight the Jews (killing the Jews), when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say O Muslims, O Abdulla, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him...'"

[Read the whole thing at The Jerusalem Post.]

Bling H20

Thanks, Devo, for showing us that you *can* have a campaign for bottled water that couples wit and subtle humor without resorting to a "lowest-common-denominator" approach.

And because I know you're probably dying to see the product in situ, here's the link.

Don't go solo.

It bothers me that so many great bands break up so that the lead singer can go solo. The music we fell in love with disappears as the singer attempts to prove he or she has "range." Some examples of folks who should've stuck with the band:

Bjork (The Sugarcubes)
Sting (The Police)
Paul McCartney (Wings) [Ha, ha]
Max Collins (Eve 6)
Gwen Stefani (No Doubt)
Glenn Frey, Don Henley, Joe Walsh (The Eagles)

I know you've got a list, too -- share it, won't you?

Why God Chose the Jews

Read Andrew Klavan's article in the California section of today's Los Angeles Times for a great op-ed piece on why Jews are the chosen people -- in essence, he casts anti-Semitism as an "early-warning system" for crazy people. That's why Jews are on this planet, he writes somewhat tongue-in-cheekily: people who claim the Jews are behind a worldwide conspiracy or killed Christ or run the banks or whatever are inevitably revealed as cranks, and we can use their early anti-Semitic ravings as warnings of potentially bigger trouble to come.

Shelly Winters, Star of "Pete's Dragon," Dies at 85

She was one wicked mother in "Pete's Dragon." And some other stuff, too.

[Source]

Star Wars Geeks Prepare:5-25-77 is coming!

Just watched a trailer for an awesome film -- 5-25-77. It's the story of a small-town geek obsessed with science fiction, and in particular the upcoming release of "Star Wars" on May 25, 1977 (hence the film's title).

I can remember dressing as Luke Skywalker for Halloween that year... hmm, I think it was Halloween. Well, I was five years old, so if I wore the outfit a little too much it can be forgiven. That said, I'm still a big fan of the series (even after seeing Episodes One, Two and Three), and I can't wait to see this movie.

The trailer's a big file (54mb), so I'm not hosting it, but you can see it here (just scroll down under the review of the film).

This is the home page for the movie, and this is something you may want after you watch the trailer.

Oh, and did I mention the movie was made on a Mac?

Larry David and Cowboys

Our buddy Rags mentioned in a comment that Larry David had recently written a piece on "Brokeback Mountain," and I just did, and it's great; here's an excerpt:

Somebody had to write this, and it might as well be me. I haven't seen "Brokeback Mountain," nor do I have any intention of seeing it. In fact, cowboys would have to lasso me, drag me into the theater and tie me to the seat, and even then I would make every effort to close my eyes and cover my ears.

And I love gay people. Hey, I've got gay acquaintances. Good acquaintances, who know they can call me anytime if they had my phone number. I'm for gay marriage, gay divorce, gay this and gay that. I just don't want to watch two straight men, alone on the prairie, fall in love and kiss and hug and hold hands and whatnot. That's all.

Is that so terrible? Does that mean I'm homophobic? And if I am, well, then that's too bad. Because you can call me any name you want, but I'm still not going to that movie.

Read the whole thing here, in The New York Times.

Recent Movies

Hollywood will rot on the windmills of Eternity
Hollywood whose movies stick in the throat of God
Yes Hollywood will get what it deserves.
Allen Ginsberg (1926 - 1997), poet

Movies I have seen recently:

Match Point – Excellent
Walk the Line – Excellent
Syriana – Wait for the DVD
Brokeback Mountain – Wait for the DVD
The Family Stone – Wait for the DVD
Good Night, and Good Luck -- Excellent

Making the Most of the New Year

The rose that all are praising
Is not the rose for me.
Thomas Haynes Bayly (1797 - 1839), writer

Welcome to a new year, big deal. We made it and we’ll make it again, according to life insurance actuaries. So far three days into 2006 and I don’t feel much like writing. I tend to write more frequently when I am content, and lately I’m anything but while trying to figure out the future. Where I’m I going to live? There may be an opportunity to move to the East Coast, if not, do I get a small place next to work or a place more affordable not far from where I am now? In either case, I will be looking for a place of my own by mid-February. This year will bring a number of changes that I hope I have the good sense and good luck to parlay into something positive.

So here is to all of us making the right choices for a happy, healthy and enjoyable New Year.

Happy New Year to All

Hope and foreboding. Not necessarily in equal measure, either. What every new year has that recommends it over the old one is the promise of uncertainty, We know what happened last year. There is always the possibility that we will learn from our mistakes, tighten our abdominals, stop smoking, exercise greater patience and dedicate our lives to the selfless pursuit of Man’s greater good. There is also the off chance that pigs will fly.”
Ted Koppel, Reporter, from his book "Off Camera, Private Thoughts Made Public"

The above is my favorite New Year's quote. I used it last year too. It's my New Year's tradition, similar to ol' Dick Clark's Time Square deal.

Here's to hoping you reach for all you strive for.

Hanukkah in Santa Monica

I mentioned Tom Lehrer's song "Hanukkah in Santa Monica" the other day; here's a little movie I made to complement the music.

Click me to watch; just give it a second or two to load.

Merry Christmas From the Misanthrope

To perceive Christmas through its wrapping becomes more difficult with every year.
E. B. White (1899 - 1985), writer