"Transamerica" at the LA Times Sports Desk

The real meditation is … the meditation on one’s identity. Ah, voilà une chose!! You try it. You try finding out why you’re you and not somebody else. And who in the blazes are you anyhow? Ah, voilà une chose!
Ezra Pound (1885–1972), poet

Read an interesting first person piece by Mike Penner who will return as Christine Daniels. We wish him and her all the best.

Read the story here

The Golden Age of Broadcasting

TV gives everyone an image, but radio gives birth to a million images in a million brains.
Peggy Noonan, author, presidential speechwriter

The other day NPR ran a story on a local resident, Jim Governale, who is a broadcaster himself in Los Angeles for Talk Radio KKLA, whose grandfather had recorded Vin Scully’s calling of Sandy Koufax’s no-hit game on June 30, 1962, with the Dodgers facing the New York Mets. Governale donated the tape to the Dodgers rather than sell it.

NPR played pieces of the broadcast and you can hear Scully in his prime. What a difference between the broadcasters today and even Scully of today for that matter.

Scully truly provided a play by play so vivid that it was more picturesque to listen to the broadcast than to watch it on television and more understandable than just viewing from the sits inside the stadium. I highly recommend going to NPR and listening to the clip to hear the voice of baseball:

“Koufax goes to the rosin bag and gives it a squeeze. And, here we go, Sandy pulls at the peak of his cap, bends at the waist to read his signs and goes to work…”

I suspect that broadcasters today don’t have nearly the radio audience that used to follow the game with their transistor radios. Unfortunately, broadcasters don’t have a verbal command of the language either to provide a play-by-play description of the game. It’s no wonder broadcasters started teaming up and talking among themselves and telling stories instead of describing the game. Last night driving home from work, I listened to the eighth and ninth innings of the Dodger game with Charley Steiner and Rick Monday. I heard them tell me when the ball was fouled back or a grounder started a double play. If compared to writing their broadcast was passive broadcasting as opposed to active broadcasting. Scully knows this and knows that his skills have softened some too, so he announces the televised portion of the game. A ceremonial three-inning simulcast at the beginning of the game is just a treat.

We can say another era has been retired.

Writers’ Stuff

I always write a good first line, but I have trouble in writing the others.
Molière (1622–73), dramatist

The Los Angeles Times’ Book Review had a center spread that asked famous writers to think about which object, picture or document in their study reveals most about the relationship between living and writing.

Stealing the idea, I ask you what is the item(s) in your writing area? The three pictures I favor in my den are below:

Earth Day, a Day Late

"Adapt or perish, now as ever, is Nature's inexorable imperative."
H.G. Wells (1866-1946)

This arrived via e-mail from B2.




2 minutes, 9 seconds
Year:2007
Posted by:rocketboom
License:CC Attribution Share Alike
Genre:Public Service Announcement

Sunday Filler

Dangerous Beauty
In your high school photo
You looked so young and naïve
M. Jagger/K. Richards, rock singers

Neo-Cons. The post below about the guns was posted in anger after I was so disgusted with neo-conservative comments on a couple of blogs. I have to say that people who are so righteous in their beliefs depress the hell out of me. To me most things in life are gray, but the righteous right see it as only black or white. I can’t even fathom that kind of thinking. To me there are only a number of issues that are black and white. However, I have no interest in debating that or the shades of gray in life. You may have even noticed that I have largely limited my Bush bashing. There is no sense.

"Notes on a Scandal." What an excellent movie. A great story and outstanding acting by Judi Dench, Cate Blanchett, and Bill Nighy was fabulous too. I highly recommend it.

You Tube. I am familiar with the site and have posted videos from it, but I never really explored it. Yesterday, I spent a couple of hours viewing a number of the Rolling Stones’ videos. Some of them brought back a lot of memories of watching them on the Midnight Special or the early years of MTV. I posted one of the silly ones by the Stones “She’s So Hot.” Followed by the complete opposite “She’s So Cold.”

Midlife Crisis. I was chatting with a friend yesterday, who is just months away from qualifying for AARP membership, and he told me he is having an affair with a 22-year-old. The guy who cuts my hair is also in the same age category, he is divorced, but he too dated a 20-year-old. I guess midlife crisis are real and it’s a crisis for all concerned.


Gradnite '75. This is me at gradnite with my first love. Where is she today? No idea. When I received this picture a few weeks ago, it was the first time I had seen it since the day it arrived. I hated that picture of me. My girlfriend at the time still looks exactly the same in my mind.

She's Hot

A mistress never is nor can be a friend. While you agree, you are lovers; and when it is over, anything but friends.
Lord Byron (1788–1824), poet

She's So Cold

No one ever discovers the depths of his own loneliness.
Georges Bernanos (1888–1948), novelist

I Hate Guns, Always Have, Always Will!

"This is a college Columbine."
-Virginia Tech Student, Fox Television News, April 16, 2007

I copied this entire post verbatim from the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence, because already the gun proponents are trotting out the same old crap about guns don't kill, blah, blah, blah. I wasn't going to say anything about gun control because the NRA has all the politicians so scared, but if we don't do something they will continue to win.

Dear StoptheNRA Member,

Yesterday, we witnessed America's worst mass shooting on the campus of Virginia Tech. Thirty-three students and faculty were killed, including the gunman. At least fifteen more were wounded.

How many deaths and injuries must we endure before our nation's elected officials act to end gun violence? We must ask our leaders: "What are you going to do about it?" What are you going to do to make our schools, workplaces, and communities safe from gun violence?
President George W. Bush said yesterday that schools should be a place of "safety and sanctuary for every student," but he and other national leaders do nothing to ensure that safety. They provide condolences, and then do nothing to stop future tragedies.

Eight years ago this week, we watched in horror as students at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado fled a mass shooting. Twelve students and one teacher were killed. Just seven months ago, five girls were gunned down in a school in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

These aren’t isolated incidents. February 12, 2007, Salt Lake City: A teen opens fire in a mall killing five and wounding four. On the same day in Philadelphia: Three men fatally shot and a fourth wounded at a board meeting. January 11, 2007, Indianapolis: A man shoots four fellow employees. The list goes on and on.

There are common threads in all of these tragedies — it is much too easy for the wrong people to get high-powered, deadly weapons and our leaders fail to do anything about the problem.
It is urgent that you email or call your elected officials today.They must hear that you want action to keep guns out of the wrong hands.

Please make as many of these phone calls as you can:
President George W. Bush
202-456-1414
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi
202-225-0100
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid
202-224-5556

The message for all three calls is simple:
It is much too easy for the wrong people to get deadly weapons in this country. It is time for you to take steps to end gun violence to prevent tragedies like the one at Virginia Tech.

If you can't make the calls, you can click here to send an email, which will go to the President, the Speaker, the Majority Leader, as well as your U.S. Senators and Representative. One click will email all six of them.

The Brady Campaign is working nonstop to get the message out that there are solutions to gun violence. We can ban military-style assault weapons and high-capacity ammunition clips that make it so easy to kill quickly . . . we can require Brady background checks for all gun sales, including at gun shows . . . we can stop large-volume gun sales that supply illegal gun traffickers. These are just some of the steps we can take to make it harder for the wrong people to get guns.
We are building a crescendo of public outcry to ensure that action is taken. We are aggressively rallying support among allies for our solutions. And we need your continued support to make it happen. Please make a contribution now to keep the momentum going. When you do, a generous donor will match your gift.

Gun violence is a solvable problem. We know it won’t be easy. But we can make it harder for the wrong people to get their hands on guns through strong gun laws.
It is time for our nation’s leaders have courage to say "no" to the gun lobby's mantra of any gun, anywhere, at anytime for anyone, while wrapping it in distortions about "freedom" and "liberty."

Americans have the right to live free from the constant fear of gun violence. Please take a moment to forward this email to friends and families.

Thank you for your support.

Sincerely,

Your Friends at StoptheNRA.com

New Blogger and New York Playwright

The stage is not merely the meeting place of all the arts, but is also the return of art to life.
Oscar Wilde (1854–1900), playwright

I am pleased to add the blog of a former colleague who has followed her dream and moved to New York to pursue her goal of becoming a major playwright. She has already won numerous awards and has been produced around the country.

Please do me a personal favor, stop by at Blindsquirrel, and say hello. She has even earned a position on the coveted boldface blogroll link because she is that good; and I want her to remember me when she becomes the next “overnight” playwriting sensation.

Johnna was also the one who encouraged me to take a class with her and write my two plays. I spent a couple of weeks writing my first 10-minute play, then the day before class, Johnna writes hers during lunch and it was great. The class busted a gut laughing at one of her scenes. I am not exaggerating it was truly a great scene and she pulled it all together in less than one hour.

Our loss of a co-worker and friend will soon be yours and New York’s gain.

New York, New York
I want to wake up in a city, that never sleeps
And find I’m a number one, top of the list, king of the hill
A number one
I’m gonna make a brand new start of it - in old New York
And if I can make it there, I’m gonna make it anywhere
It's up to you - New York, New York
As sung by Frank Sinatra

Supporting the Troops with a Country Song

I'm a country songwriter and we write cry-in-your-beer songs. That's what we do. Something that you can slow dance to.
Willie Nelson,. singer, songwriter

Sticking with my western theme today, here is a video that Bitch Ph.d found at Unfogged it's rather humorous and politically incorrect.

Sunday Filler

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen are defrocked, shouldn't it follow that cowboys would be deranged?
Cowboy quote found through Google

Cowboys. I love westerns, not all westerns, but the “good ones.” Long ago, when I was a kid, the Rifleman was one of those shows. Recently I discovered that it’s on every night on the western channel. It was a time when crises had nicely wrapped endings and there were no ambiguities. When Lucas McCain was challenged, the town of Northfork threatened or his TV son Mark endangered, McCain answered with his

repeating Winchester rifle, unrealistically faster than a quick-draw firing off his pistol. The best episodes are the ones directed by Sam Peckinpah.

Here is a little bit of Rifleman trivia from Wikipedia:

• Conners played with the Brooklyn Dodgers and the Chicago Cubs, briefly.
• In the opening titles of The Rifleman, Connors fires a Winchester repeating rifle 12 times. The Winchester 1892 only held 10 rounds.
• Connor's height is listed by the Dodgers as 6'5".
  At a party given by U.S. President Nixon at the Western White House in San Clemente, California, in June, 1973, Connors was introduced to Secretary General Leonid Brezhnev of the Soviet Union.. The Rifleman was one of the few American shows allowed on Russian television at that time because it was Brezhnev's favorite. Connors and Brezhnev hit it off so well that in December 1973, Connors traveled to the Soviet Union where he presented Brezhnev with two engraved Colt revolvers and filmed a documentary.

Movies. Within the last month, I watched two movies about magicians (“The Prestige” and “The Illusionist”) and enjoyed both even though neither movie was great. They were fun to watch. I have to say I learned a bit more about magicians from “The Prestige,” well at least what the title means.

Fish. My new favorite barbecued fish is Orange Roughy now that I am tired of Salmon. However, today is Sunday and the young Republican has to have her Tri-tip, which is fine with me too because it complements a nice heavy red wine. Then I can settle in and watch the "Tudors" and the "Sopranos."

Stating the Obvious

Abandon all hope, you who enter here!
Dante Alighieri (1265–1321), poet
I have stolen this photo from Monkeys for Helping, it shows exactly where society is going.

Good Intentions Widen Racial Divide ?

There are only two races on this planet—the intelligent and the stupid.
John Fowles (1926 - 2005), novelist

I have only seen Imus when he makes news with politicians or celebrities and the highlights are excerpted. What Imus said was wrong. No question. Does he deserve to lose his job? No! Otherwise The Rev. Jesse “jet stream” Jackson as Chicago Tribune columnist Mike Royko used to call him for rushing off to the next photo opportunity, and the Rev. Al Sharpton would be unemployed. There was the infamous Hymie town remark from Jackson and the attacking the Duke Lacrosse players as immediately guilty from Sharpton, but no one has demanded they be fired. Hell, Sharpton has never apologized to the Duke athletes, but the soon-to-be disbarred district attorney, who brought forth the charges, has. Imus has or will soon apologized to the basketball team.

Sharpton, Jackson and others are creating a deep pit without a safety net for any public figure who misspeaks in anger or in humor.

Truly something positive could have been made of this incident and instead it seems to have only widened the racial divide.

No person who examines and reflects, can avoid seeing that there is but one race of people on the earth, who differ from each other only according to the soil and the climate in which they live.
Captain J. G. Stedman (1744–97), soldier, author, artist

Farewell, Kilgore Trout.

Author Kurt Vonnegut is dead at the age of 84. If you haven't read Vonnegut, most widely-known for Slaughterhouse Five, it's not too late to start.

Too fascinating to ignore, but too gross to write about.

Boing Boing covers fecal bacteriotherapy.

Imus and Rutgers

Race prejudice is not only a shadow over the colored—it is a shadow over all of us, and the shadow is darkest over those who feel it least and allow its evil effects to go on.
Pearl S. Buck (1892–1973), novelist


Don Imus and his thoughtless (not ignorant, because he knows better) comments about the Rutgers Women’s basketball team, while attempting humor through an outrageous comment that could only make David Duke and imperial wizards laugh, is unacceptable.

I have been going back and forth whether too much is being made of this or whether he should be fired. I hate to see people lose their jobs and it’s too easy to fire someone and think the problem solved.

Positives need to come from this sad episode. I think Imus should donate a substantial amount of money to the college or the players to ensure they finish school debt free. The basketball players may already have a full ride, but $500,000 or more put into a scholarship fund would be a start. Also, he should be made to promote the women’s March Madness next year. It barely rates in comparison to the men’s March Madness. Imus’ comments and the ensuing attention should be channeled into more publicity for the women’s programs. Anything short of that means inappropriate comments will continue with only empty apologies.

Early Toner Mishap Photos Gone

It is not altogether wrong to say that there is no such thing as a bad photograph—only less interesting, less relevant, less mysterious ones.
Susan Sontag (1933 - 2004), essayist

There are going to be many disappointed Google searchers.

Here is why: many of Toner Mishap hits occur from Google sending people to look for many of B2s posts highlighting Edward Hopper, Star Wars, Waste and other great posts. Some even look for stuff from On The Mark and me, but I am sad and sorry to report that many of those photos no longer exist on this site.

You see, Time Warner has taken over many of the cable networks owned by Adelphia, Comcast and the like. B2 was posting pictures by connecting to his Comcast site that is no longer available and it was a big hassle to transfer everything, so similar to early Johnny Carson episodes our old posts only partially exist. I’d guesstimate that the first six to eight months there is text but no photos.

I will eventually change some of our best of posts that no longer have photos such as Urinal Selection, Sunday Lighter side that featured Daughter with Bill Clinton and many others. I don't think anyone will lose any sleep over this disappearance, but I alert you as a public service.

Thoughts on Blogging

Perhaps one day this too will be pleasant to remember.
Virgil (70–19 BC), Roman poet

Regular readers know that Toner Mishap said good-bye to daily posting here, here and here. Now it is pretty much just me blogging with comments from On The Mark and occasional posts and mechanical help from B2. I am a bit like Davy Jones of the Monkees or Ray Manzarek of The Doors trying to go on after the band has folded. As a soloist, I followed Bitch PhD's advice and blog only when I feel like it, as opposed to blogging daily with a self-imposed deadline.

For some reason lately I have had a burst of energy about blogging, I honestly don’t know what this is about, but On The Mark says that blogging reflects my moods, more blogs good mood, little or no blogging not such a good mood. I am not sure that is accurate, but I have been relatively happy, at least for a misanthrope.

I have taken yesterday and today off, for a much needed break. Monday was opening day for the Dodgers, but since they have an especially greedy owner, I watch them only on TV. In honor of the home opener, I barbecued a couple of hot dogs and watched the game without the hassles of unruly fans, $15 parking, $5 hot dogs, $70 seats, and traffic.

Seven-Minute Sopranos

“One of these days I’m gonna be the boss of the whole syndicate.”
Tony “the Ant” Spilotro (1938 – 1986), gangster made famous in book and movie “Casino”

If you want to catch up with what Jack from Random Thoughts and I were discussing in the comments of the previous post checkout this video at Hot Potatomash.

Miscellaneous Notes

“It’s Easter; living by the days,” Joe Cocker
“I was just gonna say, don’t get hung up about Easter,” Leon Russell
From the CD "Mad Dogs and Englishmen," 1970

Presidential Campaign. In my humble opinion, the presidential campaign has started so early because there is Bush fatigue; both sides want him out of office.

Vacation. The little Republican is on a long weekend cruise.

Cable Season. I’m looking forward to the "Sopranos" tonight and "The Tutors." Also waiting for "Big Love" and "Weeds."

Dinner. Attended a very nice and thoughtful dinner last night given by friend Sylvia. She thanked her close friends for being friends. It was very sweet.

Trees. I am amazed at how fast the leaves have appeared on the trees around the house. While I look forward to their shade this summer, I dread the fall and the mess they make. Not a bad worry to have.

Baseball. Thank goodness for baseball. It’s just such a wonderful sport. Unfortunately, everything about it outside of the white lines seems to want to detract from the game: owners, salaries, steroids, parking fees.

Personal Tidbit. I am an excellent ping-pong player. My closest competitor wins maybe three out of 15 games. I need new competition. I am not talking national ping-pong championship style; I am talking about playing in the garage. Hey, one has to emphasize one’s positive attributes where they can be found.

Gilded CEOs

The wish to acquire more is admittedly a very natural and common thing; and when men succeed in this they are always praised rather than condemned. But when they lack the ability to do so and yet want to acquire more at all costs, they deserve condemnation for their mistakes.
Niccolò Machiavelli (1469–1527), political philosopher

In just twenty-five years we have gone from the American century to the American crisis.” Felix Rohatyn, the financier and social critic, tells David Halberstam. “That is an astonishing turnaround – perhaps the shortest parabola in history,” so reads the dust jacket to the book "The Reckoning" by Halberstam from 1986.

The Reckoning is the account of Detroit automakers’ arrogance toward the Japanese automakers and the predicted oil crisis. Surprisingly, this country continues to do little. The not so big three manufacturers continue to produce oversized cars and trucks, layoff thousands of employees, lose billions of dollars. Still, they do little.

Most brazenly, Ford paid its new president and CEO Alan Mulally $39.1 million for four months on the job last year. Five million dollars of the compensation was his signing bonus. Last year, the company lost $12.7 billion in 2006, the largest loss in its 103-year history. I suppose Mulally could see his bonus increase if Ford loses even more next year.

In today’s Los Angeles Times, it reports that Occidental’s CEO received $460 million in compensation. This is outrageous! We have heard ever excuse from the oil companies about high prices ranging from mice, hurricanes, to refinery capacity. If companies and their board of directors put some of this excess money back into the business it would help them, employees and the country stay competitive. Greed is not good.

Keith Richards and Dad

“I've never had a problem with drugs. I've had problems with the police.”
Keith Richards, Rolling Stones’ guitarist, singer, song writer

It’s so outrageous that it is not beyond the pale that Keith Richards would do such a weird, sick thing as snort some of his father’s ashes mixed with cocaine. The story spread faster than Anna Nicole Smith in a room full of millionaires.

Now Richards’ manager is claiming it’s not true and said it was mentioned in jest. Yeah right. I suspect that Mick Jagger called Keith screaming, “who do you think you are Ozzy Osborne? We have to kill this story.”

I miss the days of simple name calling:

Richards said Elton John's Vegas-style stage antics and "songs for dead blondes" were irritating him.

Elton responded with, I'm glad I've given up drugs and alcohol. It would be awful to be like Keith Richards. He's pathetic. It's like a monkey with arthritis, trying to go on stage and look young. I have great respect for the Stones but they would have been better if they had thrown Keith out 15 years ago.

Get a Raise – Lose your Job

Unemployment insurance is a pre-paid vacation for freeloaders.
Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004), Republican president

Insecurity in the workforce is getting worse, according to this New York Times article. It’s bad enough that companies fire or lay off employees at will when management's bonuses are threatened, but now if you have been in the workforce too long and bring experience it will also count against you.

Circuit City, which deserves to be out of business based on my personal experience of trying to get any kind of customer service, has fired 8% of its employees (3,400 people, no doubt all frontline staff and no upper management), because their pay has inched up too high. God forbid that someone should be able to make a real living without working two jobs or even the equivalent hours of two jobs!

The laid-off Circuit City employees worked in the company’s stores and warehouses, selling electronics, unloading boxes and the like. They generally earned $10 to $20 an hour, making them typical of the broad middle of the American work force. Nationwide, the median hourly wage of all workers is about $15.

A key part of the story is that when store managers divvied up the yearly percentage increases, giving the employees 3% to 4% it apparently put them in danger of losing their positions. Hmm, I wonder what percentage increases and bonuses management passed out to themselves?

Not all is lost. These employees can apply for their old jobs, but at a lower wage. If an employee who applies for his/her job back at a lower wage, what do think the chances of loyalty to the company will be? The employee will leave in a heartbeat and a one- or two-week notice be damned. And, what if she/he does a good job and receives an increase does that put the employee at threat of losing his/her job, again?

Circuit City had already lost my business, I think it’s time they lose yours too.

We believe that if men have the talent to invent new machines that put men out of work, they have the talent to put those men back to work.
John F. Kennedy (1917–63), Democratic president

Update: From the Wall Street Journal nightly wrap up -- Circuit City Falters, Best Buy Soars Circuit City seems to have spent the last few months stumbling around in the dark. Bruised by a price battle on flat-panel televisions, the company said in February that it would shutter over 60 of its international stores and seven of its U.S. stores as part of a huge restructuring plan. Maybe it should start with a new CEO.

It's Time for Baseball

Being a serious baseball fan, meaning an informed and attentive and observant fan, is more like carving than whittling.
George Will, baseball fan, political pundit

Spring, It’s time for baseball. I love the sport because it’s a multifaceted strategic game. Those who equate it to watching paint dry are just not interested in understanding all that goes into the game. So, to those of you who enjoy just going for the social aspect, good for you; team owners like Frank McCourt love you most of all, so you can show off your expensive seats given to you by your company or neighbor. To those of us who love the game and get excited about a scoreless pitchers’ duel – the long winter is over—it’s time for (insert favorite team here) baseball!

Divisions and World Series picks to follow as soon as I read the special baseball sections of the newspapers today.

Now having read the papers here are my picks for the 2007 season that starts today:

National League
East
Phillies (NYTimes picks Mets, LATimes picks Braves)

Central
Brewers (NYT picks Cardinals, LAT picks Brewers)

West
Dodgers (NYT picks Dodgers, LAT picks Diamondbacks)

Wildcard (Cardinals)

American League
East
Yankees (NYT picks Yankees, LAT picks Yankees)

Central
Tigers (NYT picks Tigers, LAT picks Indians)

West
Angels (NYT picks Athletics, LAT picks Angels)

Wildcard (Indians)

World Series champions will be the Detroit Tigers having defeated the Phillies

Hear No Evil

All speech, written or spoken, is a dead language, until it finds a willing and prepared hearer.
Robert Louis Stevenson (1850–94), novelist, essayist, poet

From the mailbag: Mother Misanthrope sent a photo of a gent who is protecting his hearing aids from getting clogged by odorous political rhetoric.

Choked up the for the Wrong Reasons

We never really know what stupidity is until we have experimented on ourselves.
Paul Gauguin (1848–1903), artist

I was shocked to see this story. I thought we were the only teenagers innocently dumb enough to play this -- the choking game. Suffocation, which includes hanging, overtook gunshot in 1997 as the No. 1 way 10- to 19- year olds take their own lives, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, as reported in the New York Times today.

Back in my day, about four or five of us would go up into a friend’s room and Mark (not On The Mark), who was the strongest in the neighborhood would take turns choking one of us so we could pass out and the others could watch the person twitch and jerk around. I only did it once; being choked was not to my liking.

According to the article: “Asphyxiation games have been with us for generations, but what makes the current generation’s execution of this game different is that more kids are willing to play it alone,” said Dr. Thomas Andrew, the chief medical examiner in New Hampshire, who has consulted on 20 cases around the country where the game was suspected.

We also experimented with hypnosis until we showed off to a friend’s mother that we could make the neighbor kid smell ammonia and he thought he was smelling perfume. I am sure the mother saw a massive lawsuit and huge liability insurance claims. That pretty much ended our fun; it was back to balloon water fights.

Surgery to remove growth

The great mass of people … will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one.
Adolf Hitler (1889–1945), German dictator

The headline in today’s New York Times: Bush Spokesman Schedules Surgery to Remove Growth, regarding Tony Snow’s medical condition, but I immediately pictured the following for growth removal, which applies to all in politics, but especially the corrupt Bush White House gang:

As the repugnant author of the quote above warned us, we need to question everything, thoroughly.

A Little Humor

Comedy is tragedy that happens to other people.
Angela Carter (1940–92), author

Looking for something humorous today, click over to APJournal Revived and find out the new generic name for Viagra under the post "Made me cry, I laughed so hard."

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of "government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of...

Common Sense

I'm reading Craig Nelson's biography of Thomas Paine this weekend, and it's a great one -- the sort of book that makes you want to take up arms against injustice and strive forcefully for victory. These, too, are the times that try men's souls.

Bush in Brazil

Someone has some great photos of the anti-Bush protests in Brazil from this past week. Thanks, BoingBoing for letting us know about it! (Caution: some may be NSFW.)

Another White House Red Herring

Among a people generally corrupt, liberty cannot long exist.
Edmund Burke (1729–97), Irish philosopher

This is from one of my regular blog stops --Anything They Say. I was actually angry with myself for being fooled because this is exactly what the most corrupt White House Administration in the history of the United States does, and I was suspicious but I couldn’t pinpoint why exactly. I have my answer. I encourage you to visit the site and read the entire post.

The Redirection
The rolling pin of White House scandal continues to splay out an ever widening pastry of malfeasance, fraud, jobbery and iniquity. No sooner had VP Chief of Staff Lewis Libby been convicted on four counts of perjury and obstruction of justice than out rolled the next scandal à la mode: the U.S. Attorney purge....

Notable also now is the conveniently timed release of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed's recorded confession to the 9/11 plot, garnered during a secret military tribunal to which no press or witnesses were allowed access. But the Pentagon says this guy confessed, so, by god, that's good enough. Though hardly a stunning revelation -- Mohammed's involvement has been long known -- the story served another and far more important purpose: bring back pained memories of 9/11, remind of us of the evildoers' evilness, and suck up the big headlines (see how that draws the eyes) while a picky Congress frets about a few lawyers getting fired. Suddenly, FBI malfeasance, Scooter Libby, Walter Reed and White House intelligence manipulation are relics of long, dusty, forgotten past.

Blinded By the Light…and the Mercury

We create the world in which we live; if that world becomes unfit for human life, it is because we tire of our responsibility.
Cyril Connolly (1903–74), British critic

I watched the CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, which was much better than the last time I watched, during her initial week. Last night there was a story on the big push for compact fluorescent light bulbs, but they didn't cover the most important aspect of this story. NPR’s All Things Considered, on February 15, covered the fact that "CFL Bulbs Have One Hitch: Toxic Mercury," but no other news outlet seems to be picking up the story:

The Environmental Protection Agency and some large business, including Wal-Mart, are aggressively promoting the sale of compact fluorescent light bulbs as a way to save energy and fight global warming. They want Americans to buy many millions of them over the coming years.

But the bulbs contain small amounts of mercury, a neurotoxin, and the companies and federal government haven't come up with effective ways to get Americans to recycle them.…

…Experts agree that it's not easy for most people to recycle these bulbs. Even cities that have curbside recycling won't take the bulbs. So people have to take them to a hazardous-waste collection day or a special facility.

As you consider helping the environment, just remember you can do far more harm than good if you don’t dispose of the bulbs properly.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say “I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER.”
William Burroughs (1914–97), author

Holy Linux, Batman!

The Bat-computer runs Macintosh OSX -- saw this panel in a recent issue at the library, and showed the wife. She didn't really care, so I'm blogging it. Notice the tell-tale red/amber/green circles? Click the pic to see it bigger.

Alien Infidelity

BoingBoing never ceases to amaze me. Today they posted a link to a news story that makes me wonder, "what is the most ridiculous explanation a man could give his wife for suspicious long blonde hairs in their bed, and how far will he have to go to maintain that story in order to deflect her suspicion?"

[Link]

Anderson Cooper & Walter Cronkite Old Fashion Journalists

The best interviews—like the best biographies—should sing the strangeness and variety of the human race.
Lynn Barber. British journalist

I suppose it’s another sign of aging when I enjoy a public lecture series as much as any concert. The other night On The Mark and I went to see Anderson Cooper interview Walter Cronkite.

Despite Cronkite’s difficulty hearing (he is 90 years old after all), the show was very interesting. I have even higher regard for Cooper’s journalistic skills and integrity than I did prior to the interview. Until Cooper came out and provided a brief introduction to the evening and about himself and Cronkite, I wasn’t aware of Cooper’s depth. He is among the first television reporters to a major battle or catastrophe, he doesn’t have to go, he can send other reporters and question them about what is going, but he goes himself. He has seen the dark choler and rancor of human behavior as well as its caring and consider side. He expects more from politicians than just canned answers. He says that no one has truly accepted the blame for inactivity in New Orleans.

Here are a few of Cronkite’s observations:

• Anna Nicole Smith? (I don’t believe for one second he wasn’t aware of who she was)


• Anderson Cooper is the best newsman/anchor out there, because he is not afraid to go where the action is and report what is really happening.


• People don’t realize how dangerous the situation is in the Middle East. Anyone can be killed at anytime, anywhere. During WWII there was a clear enemy and a frontline for battles.


• We never should have been in Iraq. We should not be there now.


• He does not watch Fox News since it is a biased organization, beginning with the ownership.


• Bobby Kennedy asked Cronkite to run for Senate, but Cronkite did take him seriously, since Kennedy didn’t even know what state he lived in.


• The one person he would have loved to interview was Hitler.


• The most significant event of the 20th Century was an American walking on the moon.


• Cooper asked Cronkite if was ever left speechless, “Often, I would momentarily forgot the date as I was signing off on some nights."

Cronkite and Cooper made for a nice evening and one that made people long for a day when news was more than just ratings and salacious headlines.

Oscar Picks

Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they signified was that the owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably than everyone else.
Joseph Heller (1923-1999), novelist

Here are my Academy Awards predictions for the categories I feel like venturing an opinion on, even though I have not see all the movies, or any of the movies in some of the categories. It's easy to guess when many of the awards have little to do with an actor or director's current work.

Best Picture
"Letters From Iwo Jima"* (I would say "The Departed," but it may be too violent for most people to pick, and "Babel" is "Crash" redux)

Director
Martin Scorsese for the “The Departed” (He is owed one)

Actor
Peter O’Toole for “Venus” (has deservedly been owed one for many years)*

Actress
Penelope Cruz for “Volver”*

Supporting Actor
Mark Wahlberg for “The Departed” (for growing up from being a bad boy)

Supporting Actress
Adriana Barraza for “Babel” (she was very good)

Adapted Screenplay
"Children of Men" (just a guess)*

Original Screenplay
“Letters From Iwo Jima”* (second guess is “Pan’s Labyrinth”*)

Animated Feature
“Happy Feet”* (no one is going to pick Disney/Pixar again, even if “Cars” was mildly cute)

Original Song
“I Need to Wake Up” from an “An Inconvenient Truth”* by Melissa Etheridge (here is an opportunity for Hollywood voters to make a political statement)

Original Score
“Babel” (I liked the music)

*have not seen movie, yet

Update: I kinda sucked in my picks. There’s always next year. blue denotes winner.

Homeless and No Future

More than a decade after our fellow citizens began bedding down on the sidewalks, their problems continue to seem so intractable that we have begun to do psychologically what government has been incapable of doing programmatically. We bring the numbers down—not by solving the problem, but by deciding it’s their own damn fault.
Anna Quindlen, journalist

I pass Mike (pictured below) most every morning. I sometimes wish him a good day or I ignore him and silently appreciate that he has already pushed the crosswalk button.


I read that William T. Vollmann has a new book out Tuesday called “Poor People,” which inspired me to ask Mike a couple of questions such as why is he here and in this condition.

I eagerly paid him for his time and photo. Mike told me he is HIV positive, was a millionaire, was addicted to heroin, was a substance abuse counselor, was featured on "20/20" and that an attorney across the street has a copy of the program on CD. He can’t get a job because he has no address and employers won’t hire him when he tells them he lives behind the bushes of a gas station.

I asked if I could take his picture and he immediately struck a pose and I then asked him to show his sign. I bumped into him again after lunch where I saw him pick up an old food container and start to eat from it (I had gave him enough for a good lunch and breakfast). I asked how he gained his millions and how he lost it all, since our earlier interview lasted maybe three turns of the light signal. He put his food container to the side told me he married his girlfriend when he was 18, even though he was gay. They blew all the money partying. He has no family, but once the show aired he discovered that he did have some siblings, but they were lost to the gangs.

All of the above may be true, but I somehow doubt it. I came away with the impression that Mike has deeper problems. It is heartbreaking that we allow people such as Mike to wander and struggle to survive in a society where we have let the safety net for the mentally ill get cut off. We continue to let the mentally ill wander aimlessly and feel good about ourselves when we give them a buck or two. But, I guess Mike is more fortunate than the paralyzed man the hospital just dropped off the other day a few blocks east of where Mike makes sure the signal works for hurried working class heroes.

Sorry you have cancer.

A new line of Hallmark greeting cards that borders on parodies seen on SNL and other venues in years past: Journeys. With lines like "No one said it would be easy to lose your hair," "I know how much a child would mean to you," and "Watching a parent change can be difficult"... it's almost too horrible to comment upon these cards.

I know there are real-life occasions in which you might think that these cards could be handy, but I can't imagine actually sending one out.

In case you're interested, they're all here.

A Romantic Outing Instead of Diamonds

Be good and you will be lonesome.
Mark Twain (1835–1910), author

Another quirky news item courtesy of the Wall Street Journal e-mail

Still looking for a special Valentine surprise for your sweetheart? Your local zoo may have just the thing: an adults-only, after-hours tour of the amorous aspects of the animal kingdom. According to a report by the Associated Press, zoos all over the country offer risqué tours that combine champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries and candlelight dining with an impressive array of information on the birds and the bees. New York City's Central Park Zoo offers "Jungle Love.'' San Francisco boasts "Woo at the Zoo.'' Some officials say that the program is a good way to get a different crowd in to see the animals. But others are more blunt. Jane Tollini, a former penguin keeper at the San Francisco Zoo who is credited with coming up with the whole idea, says "Sex sells. No matter what.''

Dispatches from the L.A. Zoo:Monkeys and Humans are Equally Stupid

The Los Angeles Zoo reportedly paid $4,500 to a feng shui expert to make sure that some monkeys on loan from China have a strong life force.

In plain language: They're paying someone $4,500 to rearrange the trees and rocks in the monkey house.

[Source]

Star Wars at the Science Center

The wife and I were guests at this weekend's gala ball at the California Science Center in Los Angeles... I've got a Flickr set here that features shots of the fans who were hired to wear their costumes at the ball and entertain the guests. Some stunning shots, I must say.

And if anyone can tell me why most of the Stormtroopers posed for photos making the above gesture with their hands, I'll be in your debt.

UPDATE

My wife asked me why I didn't feature the close-up photo of the actual Darth Vader prop costumer chestplate, which clearly shows Hebrew characters on the panels. Hmmm. She was right -- much more interesting than the Stormtrooper crotch shot.

Seven Deadly Sins:Harvard Hires a Lady

Harvard has announced that it will soon have its first female president and, frankly, I'm just embarassed.

The mysoginistic attitudes that led to this are so obvious that they almost need no comment, but this fine blog has always prided itself on confronting the hot-button issues head-on, so... on with the sins countdown!

Lust: 5 pts
It's clear that those sex-starved miscreants at Harvard are engaging in the oldest mysoginistic operation in the world: buying the services of a woman for their own selfish needs. Sure, they claim otherwise -- but they can't hide the real reasons. Richard P. Chait, a professor of higher education at Harvard, said “My own sense is that it... probably is not unrelated to gender." Probably not? And he's a Harvard professor? Duh -- of course it's about gender; it's about those lonely bearded bleeding-heart ivory tower liberals trying to buy something they could never get for free. 371 years is a long time to go without a woman...

Greed: 1 pts
Those high-button-collar types think that having money means they can do whatever they want -- including buying people! Who do they think they are!

Sloth: 5 pts
Too lazy to find a good male candidate? That's pretty damn lazy.

Wrath: 1 pt
The new president will be Drew Gilpin Faust, a historian of the Civil War South. I'm thinking these Cambridge Yankees are just looking to embarass their old Dixie rivals by stealing away one of their southern belles. Anger makes a man do bad things.

Gluttony: 0 pts
I think they might be hungry. Not sure that matters, though.

Envy: 1 pts
Tell me that this student is envious: George Thampy, a freshman, said “I think it’s a great step forward — a bona fide scholar who’s a woman.” Wow -- who would've thought a woman could be a scholar? Certainly not George Thampy; he was just hoping to get a little extra "tutoring" from the new pres. Or so we assume.

Pride: 3 pts
These gents are just too proud to come right out and say that they have to pay women to be around them; instead, they maintain the facade that this is for some sort of academic position. Come on; we all know what's going on. Just two years ago Harvard's then-president Lawrence H. Summers suggested women weren't smart enough to be president of Harvard! And now this?

FINAL SCORE: 16 pts
Sounds like someone needs to remind these ivy-covered folks that we're living in the 21st century, not the Dark Ages.

Was Anna Really Marilyn Redux?

And it seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind.
Elton John, musician, "Candle in the Wind" (song, lyrics by Bernie Taupin)













It's a sad story for both or both times.

Joe Lieberman, Star of "ALF"?

I know that Joe Lieberman isn't really Max Wright in his best role since Alf... but they do sound eerily familiar. Click Joe below and see if you can tell which part of this clip is Lieberman, and which is Wright (yes, the sync is off; I didn't bother to match it up):

To the Moon, Lisa Nowak, to the Moon!

To the moon, Alice, to the moon!
Jackie Gleason (1916 -- ’87) as Ralph Kramden to his wife Alice

Enough with the woman astronaut! It’s certainly not that big of news. She is the first woman astronaut to have an affair go awry, but not the first woman or man, so who cares? Apparently, all the national media from Brian Williams to NPR and every medium in between thinks it's big news.

Were astronauts considered morally incorruptible? This story should have been buried on the inside pages or better yet left as fodder for People and US. The real front-page story is that President Bush did not learn a thing from the New Orleans dam breaking, because he is trying to reduce funding to repair the levees in northern California that are susceptible to earthquakes as well as flooding.

Seven Deadly Sins:Conservatives For Cancer

I was pleased to hear that Texas Governor Rick Perry issued an executive order making the Lone Star State the first of the fifty to require girls to be vaccinated against the sexually transmitted virus that causes cervical cancer.

And then the other shoe dropped.

Several key Republicans are urging Perry to rescind the order, claiming that mandating the vaccine will trample parents' rights and promote premarital sex.

Lust: 0 pts
A vaccine against a virus that causes cervical cancer should not be plunged into a debate about premarital sex; this has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with women's health -- so lust doesn't figure into it.

Gluttony: 0 pts
Not relevant.

Greed: 0 pts
Perry [allegedly] gets "benefits" from Merck to encourage him to issue the order... I'd give him a point for that, but this is about the conservatives who want him to rescind the order... so no points for greed, since they're motivated by something worse -- stupidity and self-righteousness.

Sloth: 0 pts
The conservatives think the vaccine's slogan should be: "Too lazy to have safe sex? Get the vaccine and don't worry!" But still, it doesn't seem to fair to give any points for sloth.

Wrath: 0 pts
No one seems angry, just greedy and stupid. And I guess stupidity isn't a sin?

Envy: 0 pts
Those conservatives wish they were having some good, clean, DIRTY sex. But that's probably not true... so, no points. Hmmm.... an odd trend.

Pride: 0 pts
Seriously, in this case I'd enjoy seeing someone with a little pride stand up for what they believe in.

FINAL SCORE: 0 pts
Wha? Is the system broken? No, because I'm making a special dispensation to add 50 points for self-righteousness. Take that, you conservative nutjobs!

REVISED FINAL SCORE: 50 pts


[Source]

Keep Your Clothes On, Please!

Our growing softness, our increasing lack of physical fitness, is a menace to our security.
John F. Kennedy (1917–63), U.S. president

I just pulled this verbatim from the Wall Street Journal e-mail because there is nothing I can add to it, except I don’t care if it were just women, I wouldn’t find it attractive in that environment.

Fitness Au Naturale
Because the locker room just isn't awkward enough, Patrick de Man, owner of Fitworld gym in Heteren, Netherlands, invites you to work out in the buff on "Naked Sundays." Looking for a way to expand his fitness center's options, Mr. De Man made a simple calculation. "I heard that some other gyms are offering courses on 'pole-dancing' as a sport, so I thought, why not bring something new to the market" by instituting a clothing-free workout one day a week. That's good news for naturists who want to keep in shape, but for those who prefer to have a few swatches of fabric to cover themselves or others, the club is now its own special kind of red-light district. What's more, some worry that the idea isn't sanitary. But Mr. De Man says not to worry; members must cover benches with towels and all the machines and weights are given a good going-over. "We clean them every day,'' he said.

Let Them Drink Water

Wine makes a man better pleased with himself. I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others. … This is one of the disadvantages of wine, it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
Samuel Johnson (1709–84), English author

Four hundred and fifty bottles of wine, including a rare $11,000 1959 magnum from the Château Pétrus in Bordeaux, France where stolen from a central California home. At some point between Dec. 28 and Jan. 4, while the homeowner was on vacation, the police said, the thief or thieves made their way to the basement, where the collection, much of it distinguished Bordeaux, was stored at an optimal 55 degrees.

This is one crime I don’t have to worry about. I could not even afford to refrigerate the wines properly. Hell, I can barely keep myself cool in the summers. Oh sure, I have a couple of decent bottles of wine that I look forward to drinking with a nice barbequed tri-tip or steak, but if thieves are going after fine wines, I can leave my doors unlocked. If they ask, I’ll happily provide them with wife’s bottles of two-buck Chuck.

The New York Times reported this story writing, theft and wine make a heady pairing, especially in Atherton, [California] the sought-after nesting place of venture capitalists and magnates like Charles Schwab, of the wealth management company, and Tom Proulx, the founder of the software company Intuit. Wine cellars are a fixture of daily life here, a common amenity along with home theaters, fitness centers and his-and-her offices.

This crime reminds me of quote from Lisa Marie Presley, who said that she can’t drink anything less than a $600 bottle of wine or she gets a headache. Poor thing. I have no sympathy for the victims of this crime. I envy the crook or crooks as they get to look forward to many nice meals with a great wine.

This sums up the situation for the police sergeant, who also was working on a case in nearby East Palo Alto, a city that has long wrestled with high crime rates. “An 18-year-old girl was shot point-blank in the head and I received no calls about it,” he said. “The wine theft? A gazillion. It kind of shows you where people’s values lie.”

Idle Hands, Idol Worship

Making Lemonade from Lemons

We got no-necked oilmen from Texas

And good ol' boys from Tennessee

And colleges men from LSU

Went in dumb - come out dumb too

Hustlin' 'round Atlanta in their alligator shoes

Gettin' drunk every weekend at the barbecues

Randy Newman, singer/song writer "Rednecks"

It's the second house on the right... the one with the blue Datsun in front.

The Worse is Yet to Come

History … is, indeed, little more than the register of the crimes, follies, and misfortunes of mankind.
Edward Gibbon (1737–94), English historian. "The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire"

I haven’t been moved to write much of anything lately, primarily I’ve been very busy with work. And, what leisure time I have is divided up with minimal chores, firing off missives to Realtors, DMVs, city hall and reading (newspapers, magazines, books), but this morning’s New York Times editorial section really points out that the country is truly being mismanaged and the citizenry are too busy eking out a living to care.

There is something terribly wrong with the country. What is worse is that the people continue to let the president run roughshod over clear thinking and common sense. It is amazing to me that the New York Times has four strong editorials/opinion pieces against the current White House Administration: the lead editorial “The Bait-and-Switch White House,” “Mr. Bush’s Oil Security Blanket,” “At Ease, Mr. President” by Garry Wills, and Maureen Dowd’s column attacks the craziness of Dick Cheney, and still there is not a movement afoot to strongly curtail this administration from inflicting even more long-term damage. I'm not even taking into consideration the number of books documenting the mismanagement of the Iraq war.

Extremists on any subject fail to see that the world is gray, not black or white. We know from thousands of years how humans will react when egos and insecurities are not addressed and yet world leaders continue to make the same mistakes over and over. And, the people let them, following into goose-stepping hell thinking they are being patriotic.

Our country is not only on the wrong track, but is seriously derailed and it has a ripple effect around the world.

State of the Union Rejected Drafts

For one tyrant, there a thousand ready slaves. Man is naturally a worshipper of idols and a lover of kings.
William Hazlitt (1778-1830), writer

Toner Mishap found a few of the crumbled rejected pages President George W. Bush had rewritten before tonight’s State of the Union speech.

My fellow Americans I have admitted that mistakes were made in Iraq. It’s a loser of a situation, I have sent over 20,000 troops and I will start to bring them home around summer time when there are only 15,000 to return – stuff happens, they’re not my kids.

In my last two years, I plan to focus on the domestic issues; you know the things that happen here in the good ol’ US of A. Our health care system is unfair, so I am going to tax the middle class, so they too cannot afford health care. I am in the process of replacing federal prosecutors with those that are loyal to me. I will try again to kill off Social Security…

The first crumbled page ended, but apparently the other page we found looks to have been another false start:

Ladies and Gentlemen, Republicans and Democrats remember I am a uniter, not a divider. I welcome the Democrats as a majority in Congress, and we’ll be united as long as you realize I am the Decider and you’re not...

Miscellaneous Political Thoughts

Judges – It was reported that Judge Judy makes more than all the Supreme Court Justices combined. Considering this most unimpressive group, all is right in the world.

Hillary – I am just not crazy about her. Right now, I like John Edwards and Barack Obama.

Gerald Ford – I am not sure whether it was hindsight that made Ford look better or that fact that Bush is so bad. I. F. Stone had a great line shortly after John F. Kennedy was killed, which is just as appropriate today: “funerals are always occasions for pious lying.”

Why We Read TMZ and Perez Hilton

Ayn Rand wrote in The Fountainhead about a newspaper's appeal to the public through featuring society (AKA celebrity, nowadays) news:

"It overstressed the glamour of society -- and presented society news with a subtle sneer. This gave the man on the street two satisfactions: that of entering illustrious drawing rooms and that of not wiping his feet on the threshold."

Seven Deadly Sins:Dodger Stadium

Announcing a new Toner Mishap recurring feature: I'll be analyzing news stories with the help of the classic seven deadly sins, making a determination of how good or bad something is. One point for exhibiting each sin, with additional or partial credit when appropriate.

Our first example of this is the news that Dodger Stadium will be raising ticket prices and providing all-you-can eat Dodger Dogs; let's get started!

Lust: 0
N/A

Gluttony: 1 pt
A new, expensive seating area in the right-field pavilion will include all-you-can-eat Dodger Dogs, peanuts and soda.

Greed: 1 pt
The old $6 cheap seats will now cost $10, and the number of seats with a game-day price no higher than $10 fell from about 9,500 to about 6,200.

Sloth: 1 pt
You don't have to get up to buy your food -- they bring it right to you.

Wrath: 0
N/A

Envy: 0.5 pts
Is this driving further distinction between the "have"s and the "have not"s at the ballgame? Perhaps.

Pride: 0
N/A

FINAL SCORE: 3.5 pts
With exactly half of a possible high score of 7, I rank the new plans at Dodger Stadium rank as moderately sinful, or encouraging moderating sinning.

President Bush Answers Rhetorical Question

“All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes.”
Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British politician and writer

Tonight, President Bush, aka the Decider, will answer John Kerry’s rhetorical question posed to Congress 36 years ago:

"...How do you ask a man to be the last man to die for a mistake?"

Bush’s answer: Fellow Americans, I am going to increase the number of troops sent to Iraq, so no one will know who the last to die for my mistake will be.

Las Vegas Wants Your Money and Yours, Yours and Yours

He was … a degenerate gambler. That is, a man who gambled simply to gamble and must lose. As a hero who goes to war must die. Show me a gambler and I’ll show you a loser, show me a hero and I’ll show you a corpse.
Mario Puzo (1920-1999), novelist

Saturday’s Bizarro comic strip by Dan Piraro fits so perfect with the news about Las Vegas profits that I have to share it, I am only sorry I can’t get my hands on the cartoon to show you.

Two Indians are standing next to Las Vegas-style slot machines and on the floor in front of them is a Caucasian male crawling away with his pockets turned inside out from losing his money at the casino. One Indian says to the other: I’m just sorry it took us 400 years to figure out how to beat them.

Now to the report that Nevada casinos post $2.1 billion in profit. Yes, that’s profit from all the people who go thinking they will beat the odds. Saturday’s Los Angeles Times’ article points out that the Las Vegas Strip had gross revenue of $14.9 billion.

It’s no wonder they keep tearing down the old gambling joints and building enormous gambling palaces.

The Sgt. Pepper of Videos

Is it not strange that sheep’s guts should hale souls out of men’s bodies?
William Shakespeare (1564–1616), writer

I'd ask how many artists you can identify, but I think a better question is who is not in here? It opens with a Frank and ends with a Frank.

Inventor of Instant Noodles Dies at 96

Interment instructions: pour boiling water into casket, bury for three minutes, peel the lid back and enjoy!

[Source]

Phones, Now Our Mail, Loyalty Oaths are Next

No passion so effectually robs the mind of all its powers of acting and reasoning as fear.
Edmund Burke (1729–97), philosopher

Now that the Decider has decided to read our mail, it has been discovered that the white house gang is considering a Loyalty Program similar to what President Harry S Truman signed into law on March 21, 1947 that allowed sweeping background investigation on U.S. citizens and anyone else in the country during the late 1940s’ through the mid-1950s’.

Here is your first peek at the Bush Loyalty Oath:

"I further swear (or affirm) that I do not mail, read or e-mail, and have not within the period beginning five (5) years prior to the effective date of the ordinance requiring the making of this oath or affirmation, nor have I voted Democrat, advocated freedom of speech or taught the Bill of Rights to any child or adult, attacked marriage, Christmas, parental rights, America’s religious heritage or helped a homosexual, while in the United States of America and that I am not now and have not, within said period, advised, advocated or taught equal rights or viewed pornography, I further swear (or affirm) that I will not, while George W. Bush is president, participate, talk or listen to such persons who even think about any of the above while in the United States of America."

Tony vs Paul

Awesome stop-motion animation makes this music video (?) a must-see! It's entrancing and captivating...

Thanks go out to BoingBoing for telling us about it!

Happy New Year From Toner Mishap to You

Good resolutions are useless attempts to interfere with scientific laws. Their origin is pure vanity. Their result is absolutely nil.… They are simply cheques that men draw on a bank where they have no account.
Oscar Wilde (1854–1900), playwright

A hearty and happy New Year to all Toner Mishap readers and as a public service I will share with you Esquire’s The Rules: A Man’s Guide to Life in order to help with your New Year’s resolutions.

1. Do not trust a man who calls the bathroom the little boys’ room.
2. No talking at the urinal.
3. Sitcom characters watching porn always tilt their heads.
4. If you are under 80, you should never utter the phrase the whole kit and caboodle
5. The weirder the cell phone ring, the more annoying the person.
6. Any superhero worth his salt could fly without his cape.
7. There’s a special circle in hell reserved for those who adjust their rearview mirrors while you wait for their parking space. ( I will add also for people who hold up traffic while applying make-up).
8. The day that the New York Times referred to Snoop Doggy Dogg on second reference as Mr. Dogg was the day the whole formal news outlet edifice began to crumble.
9. Anybody who says they “work hard and play hard” probably does neither.
10. If someone begins an opinion by saying, “now, I’m not [fill in the blank],” then that person is “[fill in the blank].”