Overreaction:Political Correctness, Again

This is one of those things that just gets my goat.

Apparently an on-air Golf Channel personality (Kelly Tilghman) was talking about Tiger Woods recently and used the word "lynch" -- suggesting that in order for the other golfers to actually win now and then, they might need to gang up on Tiger and "lynch him in a back alley."

Had they said this about a white golfer, no one would have blinked. The word is a little more loaded when referring to Tiger, I suppose, because of his race and the history of violence against blacks in America. So OK, this host was insensitive. She was suspended for two weeks.

The real problem I have is what took place this week in Golfweek magazine -- the cover is shown here. A noose was used to illustrate the story about Tilghman's use of the word "lynch" -- and the editor has now been sacked over that image choice. Why? It's an appropriate, dramatic image to illustrate the content of the story -- and that's all.

Agree? Disagree?

Check out the article on Yahoo.

Bobby Fischer RIP

I am still a victim of chess. It has all the beauty of art—and much more. It cannot be commercialized. Chess is much purer than art in its social position
Marcel Duchamp (1887-1968) French artist

During the summer of 1972, I really became a Rolling Stones fan with the release of "Exile on Main Street," which was the background music to all our neighborhood chess games. I played every chance I could; Bobby Fischer and his game against Boris Spassky is who I can thank for my interest in the game. With my new iMac computer, I was pleased that a chess game was included.

From the New York Times: Bobby Fischer, the iconoclastic genius who was one of the greatest chess players the world has ever seen, has died, The Associated Press reported Friday. He died on Thursday in a hospital in Reykjavik, Iceland, his spokesman, Gardar Sverrisson, said. He was 64. No cause of death was given.

The world championship match against the elegant Spassky was an unforgettable spectacle, the cold war fought with chess pieces in an out-of-the-way place. Mr. Fischer’s characteristic petulance, loutishness and sense of outrage were the stuff of front page headlines all over the globe. Incensed by the conditions under which the match was to be played — he was particularly offended by the whirr of television cameras in the hall — he lost the first game, then forfeited the second and insisted the remaining games be played in an isolated room the size of a janitor’s closet. There, he roared back from what, in chess, is a sizable deficit, trouncing Mr. Spassky, 12 ½to 8 ½. (In championship chess, a victory is worth one point, a draw a half-point for each player.) In all, Mr. Fischer won 7 games, lost 3 (including the forfeit) and drew 11.

Through July and most of August, the attention of the world was riveted on the Spassky-Fischer match. Americans who didn’t know a Ruy Lopez from a Poisoned Pawn watched a hitherto unknown commentator named Shelby Lyman explain each game on public television. All this was Mr. Fischer’s doing. Bobby Fischer the rebel, the enfant-terrible, the tantrum-thrower, the uncompromising savage of the chess board, had captured the imagination of the world. Because of him, for the first time in the United States the game, with all its arcana and intimations of nerdiness, was cool. And when it was over, he walked away with a winner’s purse of $250,000, a sum that staggered anyone ever associated with chess. When Mr. Spassky won the world championship, his prize was $1,400.

Mr. Fischer, the most powerful American player in history, had renounced his American citizenship and moved to Iceland in 2005.

Political Theme Song

Intellectually I know that America is no better than any other country; emotionally I know she is better than every other country.
Sinclair Lewis (1885-1951), novelist

I purchased my first iTune song "A Few Words in Defense of Our Country" by Randy Newman below (just the song not the video), which is apropos for this political season:

Unattended Babies, Be Warned!

Ouch! Seen in a public bathroom. Yes, at Legoland.

The Chilling Effect Continues

Amongst the learned the lawyers claim first place, the most self-satisfied class of people, as they roll their rock of Sisyphus and string together six hundred laws in the same breath, no matter whether relevant or not, piling up opinion on opinion and gloss on gloss to make their profession seem the most difficult of all. Anything which causes trouble has special merit in their eyes.
Desiderius Erasmus (c. 1466–1536), Dutch humanist

That is all I want to say for now.

Smurfs 50th Anniversary

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I've ever known.
Walt Disney, (1901-1966) animator, filmmaker, amusement park developer

From the Wall Street Journal:

Belgium is known for a lot of things, including waffles and an array of skull-crushingly strong beers that would make even a much-larger nation proud. Oddly, another product of this bastion of biculturalism is the surprisingly homogenous group of blue-skinned gnomes known as Schtroumpf, which, in American, is translated as the Smurfs. The Associated Press reports that 2008 is the 50th anniversary of these mushroom dwellers.

The Smurfs originally surfaced as supporting characters in a 1958 cartoon called "Johan and Pirlouit," which was set in the Middle Ages and drawn by Pierre Culliford, a cartoonist who went by the pen name "Peyo."

In Spanish, a Smurf is a Pitufo. The Gerrmans call them Schlumpfs. They're Nam Ching Ling in China and, in Japan, one of the little guys -- or Smurfette -- is a Sumafa. They're called Dardassim in Hebrew.

Thick as a Fence Post

Like all weak men he laid an exaggerated stress on not changing one’s mind
W. Somerset Maugham (1874-1966) writer

I purchased one of our luxury items – firewood. The others being books and CDs. The guy who delivered the firewood said the price was $5 more than what I was quoted the day I ordered it. I told him I would call the place and tell them, but he asked me not to, he didn’t care about his tip.

I didn’t argue, which is not my nature and I gave him his tip anyway, because while we disagreed completely about religion, he was still a nice guy. The conversation started because he was telling god to bless the family and me, then he used an example about homosexuals should not be together because of what the Bible says.

I had to point out to him the hypocrisy of the Bible on this topic. I showed the delivery man an article from the 2004 Los Angeles Times opinion piece titled “Holy Terror.” Even before I could show him the direct quote from the newspaper on Leviticus 20:13 that says homosexuals should be killed: “if a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death,” he dismissed the article as the writer’s interpretation. I said it was a direct quote from the Bible, but he had never seen it. He couldn’t believe that the Bible could contradict itself from the Ten Commandments. I attempted to show him other quotes called out by the newspaper that the Bible also instructs us to murder people who work on the Sabbath (which is what he was doing), along with adulterers and children who curse their parents.

He had his beliefs and nothing I said was going to change his mind. I wished him well and thanked him for stacking the wood.

Feeling Secure?

I did send to you
For certain sums of gold, which you denied me
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) dramatist, poet

Speaking of Big Brother, who exactly is in charge here? Secretary of Homeland Security Michael Chertoff is not making me feel secure or confident about who is in charge. How secure we should feel in this country, especially when the FBI has carte blanche to wire tap most anyone at any time under this administration, but then they get cut off in the middle of surveillances for lack of payment, according to the Wall Street Journal:

A Justice Department audit released today revealed telecom companies recently cut off some FBI wiretaps on suspected criminals because of the bureau's repeated inability to pay bills on time. The audit blamed the FBI's lax oversight, ironically, of money used for undercover jobs. A wiretap in at least one Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act investigation was "halted due to untimely payment," the audit found. The report offered recommendations to improve tracking and management of the funding system, including telecommunication costs.

Why is it that FBI interruptus apparently okay if our country is always in imminent danger of attack?

AT&T doesn't care what your higher mission is if you have not paid your bill, the country be damned

A Chilling Effect

I have often thought that if a rational Fascist dictatorship were to exist, then it would choose the American system.
Noam Chomsky, U.S. linguist, political analyst

The lumbering wheels of justice rolled up to my house (as Michael Corleone said: "IN MY HOME! Where my wife sleeps... and my children play with their toys.") and it has had a chilling effect. I am not going to discuss now, but I am very bothered and rather outraged, once I got over my initial shock and fear.

This chilling effect has made me suspect that my First Amendment rights are not so secure unless I have Paris Hilton’s legal counsel. All this makes me hesitate to write in my usual over the top style.

In any case, I’ll attempt to write again and try to ignore the feeling that someone is watching and trying to salvage their wreckage off my observations.

Holy fair use, Batman!

CafePress tells me it's an infringement. Like, this is going to hurt ticket sales to "The Dark Knight"?

Legoland, Part 6:Art

Legoland features a section devoted to recreating some of the world's most famous art -- paintings, mostly, but also some sculpture (imagine a life-size replica of Rodin's "The Thinker" made entirely out of gray lego bricks). Here are three to whet your appetite (I won't bother to identify the originals; it should be pretty obvious). The third one is the most ridiculous... Incidentally, you can click any of them to see a larger image that reveals more detail.

Legoland, Part 5:New Orleans

Yes, there's more. Today, just one photo -- a shot from Legoland's Miniland, this time the section devoted to recreating New Orleans entirely out of Lego blocks. On a little out-of-the-way street I saw two cops roughing up a perp, their actions being closely watched (and documented) by a curious bystander. OK, only one is roughing up the suspect -- the other is on the lookout for curious bystanders... look out when he notices our shutterbug!

I'm Selling a Legoland Ticket Cheap!

I'm selling a free admission ticket to Legoland (in Carlsbad, California) on eBay -- we got the free ticket as a "buy a ticket, go again for free" promotion, and we had one extra (long story). Check it out here and bid if you want to go to Legoland cheaply!

For those of you who missed it: click here.

Legoland, Part 4:New York

Legoland's Miniland has an extensive New York section featuring all the famous New York landmarks. It's interesting that the Twin Towers were never built at Legoland, because the scale and required number of Lego bricks made it impractical. But after September 11, Legoland added a model of the proposed "Freedom Tower" that will be built, as well as the memorial Twin Towers footprints. You can click the photos below to see them larger.

Legoland, Part 3

Ah, the prurient eye at Legoland. For this installment of photos from my family's trip to Legoland, I present some images of the female form as represented at Legoland.


The Starlet


She wants to be Marilyn, minus the drug addiction and tragic death. Well, minus the tragic death. She's dressed to kill, and is vain enough to imagine that they're singing about her when they say, "she's a brick... house!" One question: are those crosses on her nipples?


Granny


It's really amazing how she's managed to keep herself looking so good at her advanced age.


Sleeping Beauty


Here we see Sleeping Beauty awaiting true love's kiss, with a fairly standard rack -- white and heaving, as her somnolent exhalations present her good side to her beloved.


Lego MILF


Given our status as a web-based literary publication, we find ourselves using words and phrases we might not utter in public -- like MILF. Nonetheless, here we see a young mother disciplining her child; though her top isn't very revealing, it seems she *is* wearing a thong.


Middle-aged Bathing Beauty


Her husband is snapping vacation picks while she models her new swimsuit. Note how middle-age has exaggerated her breasts, but her bikini top does a good job of maintaining their pleasant shape.


Eurotrash


What's up with this top? Is it stylish and minimalist, or is it just two diamonds attached with double-sided tape? The hat gives her game away -- she's a foreigner, and doesn't know any better.

Simply UnbelievableThe Darwin Awards

Stupidity gets up early; that is why events are accustomed to happening in the morning.
Karl Kraus (1874-1936) satirist

This is from the 2007 Darwin Awards. Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.

(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.

The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.


(10 January 2007, East Germany) A 63-year-old man's extraordinary effort to eradicate a mole from his property resulted in a probable victory for the mole. The man had pounded several metal rods into the ground and connected them to a high-voltage power line, with the intent of rendering the subterranean realm uninhabitable.

Incidentally, the maneuver electrified the very ground he stood upon. He was found dead at his holiday property on the Baltic Sea. Police had to trip the main circuit breaker before venturing onto the property.

The precise date of the sexagenarian's demise could not be ascertained, but the electricity bill may provide a clue.


(27 July 2007, Guadalajara, Mexico) 24-year-old Jessica was working out in the Provincia Hotel's gym when she realised she needed something from the floor below. Instead of picking up the phone, using the intercom, or just walking downstairs, she decided that the open shaft of the industrial lift was the communications device for her.

So Jessica stuck her head into the empty shaft to shout to the people downstairs. And somehow, she missed noticing that the elevator was coming up towards her. If the elevator had been going down, one could say that she was in no position to observe the approaching lift. But, leaving aside the stupidity of sticking your head into an elevator shaft, if she was looking down, how could she miss the mass of metal inexorably headed her way?

Since an elevator cage and a skull are both solid objects, one had to give. Let's just say, the elevator won. Jessica will be missed by her family, but not by the gene pool.

Legoland, Part 2

Another installment in my Legoland pix -- two shots from the "Fairy Tale" ride, in which scenes from various non-Disney-owned fairy tale properties (or those that can somehow be still considered public domain) are built entirely from Lego and non-Lego parts (which comprises everything in the universe, really).

As for rights management, it's interesting to note as an aside that the Lego store featured a build-some-reindeer-and-a-sled activity, with said reindeer totalling nine and the lead reindeer featuring a spot upon which you could easily put a red brick to signify a certain reindeer's bright nose... but patrons were forbidden to do so because the rights to Rudolph are still held tightly and so Legoland can't simulate that reindeer.

Sleeping Beauty



Here we see Prince Charming chatting with someone on his celphone -- presumably *not* Sleeping Beauty, as she's... well... asleep, right? Weirder still is that you can hear a high-pitched tinny voice coming through the speaker (sort of like one of the Chipmunks) sounding as though it is giving a long list of things to do... interspersed with his lower-pitched grunt of assent. My guess is he's reconsidering whether he should wake his beloved or not.

Aladdin


I'm not entirely sure why Aladdin abandons his shoes in the cave of wonders as he rubs the magic lamp, but here they are -- for some reason with rollerblade attachments.

Happy New Year

All good writing is swimming under water and holding your breath.
F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896-1940) author

Happy New Year! Now let me take care of some old business. I would like to think if nothing else, Toner Mishap is supportive of other writers. I would have pointed this out earlier, but with being slammed at work, the holidays, and the flu, I now have the time to encourage all readers who enjoy an original and unique short story to read Amy Letter's short story that made me both chuckle and cringe. Amy from the Incertus blog had her story published at Fringe Magazine early this month.

Apropos to the Iowa Caucuses

A politician's words reveal less about what he thinks about his subject than what he thinks about his audience.
George F. Will, political columnist

As I was adding piles of CDs that did not transfer to my new computer, I came across this song that is very apropos to the Iowa Caucuses:

In My Life

Do not fear death... only the unlived life.
You don't have to live forever;
You just have to live.”
Natalie Babbitt, author and illustrator of children's books

Every year when I see the entire list (this is from the LA Times) of those famously talented who have passed away, I’m always amazed at how much knowledge and talent disappears with them and from us. It seems the grim reaper took more than his share of writers (novelists, poets) and jazz musicians this year:

Kurt Vonnegut, Norman Mailer, Tillie Olsen, Robert Anton Wilson, Art Buchwald, Peter Tompkins, Sidney Sheldon, Arthur M. Schlesinger Jr., David Halberstam, William Meredith, Mark Harris, John Graham, Grace Paley, and these are the famous ones. I am sure there are many other near famous who were not mentioned.

In the world of jazz, a number of talent people have left us:
Oscar Peterson, Frank Morgan, Art Davis, Tommy Newsom, Andrew Hill, Danny Barcelona, Joe Zawinul

In tribute a song written from a twenty-something musician who left us a while ago:

Legoland, Part 1

My lovely wife and I took our kids to Legoland this past week (hint: it's empty on Christmas) and had a great time. The best part? Probably the Fun Town store where you can individually select bricks from dozens of bins, organized by shape and color (and a few awesome bins of mixed Lego blocks that yielded quite a few great finds). In addition to the pound of Lego we hand-selected, I also purchased a Star Wars set and we bought the kids another bin of 200 pieces.

But that's not what I wanted to share with you all.

I snapped quite a few pix of stuff that I knew (hoped?) would find an audience out here in cyberspace -- the first is this mysterious Geppetto-like figure, one of the many Lego-built figures in the park.


Geppetto is wielding some sort of knife, perhaps considering ending his sad existence now that Pinocchio has run away (or maybe he's just rehearsing for his role in "Sweeney Todd 2: The Demon Toymaker of Fleet Street").

Legoland also has rides -- not very interesting from a blog perspective. But Miniland, which recreates famous cities completely in Lego... I am *definitely* going to be sharing some of that in the coming days...

Merry Christmas

Four Stages of Life
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.
Unknown

Merry Christmas

Oscar Peterson RIP

Anyone can learn what Louis Armstrong knows about music in a few weeks. Nobody could learn to play like him in a thousand years.
Benny Green, jazz pianist

What the heck? We are losing jazz greats at a rapid pace here. Again, I have seen Oscar Peterson a couple of times, but the one I remember most was at the Hollywood Bowl and a relatively new comer was the opening act -- Diana Krall.



Here is what the NYTimes said:
...[Oscar] Peterson was one of the greatest virtuosos in jazz, with a technique that was always meticulous and ornate and sometimes overwhelming. But rather than expand the boundaries of jazz, he used his gifts in the service of moderation and reliability and in gratifying his devoted audiences, whether playing in a trio or solo. His technical accomplishments were always evident, almost transparently so. Even at his peak, there was very little tension in his playing.

Frank Morgan RIP

...it bugs me when people try to analyze jazz as an intellectual theorem. It's not. It's a feeling.
Bill Evans, (1929-1980) jazz pianist

I discovered the jazz of Frank Morgan at sometime in the 1980s and finally saw him live a year or two ago with On The Mark. The show at Catalina's Bar and Grill was good, but Morgan was old and tired, so it didn't match up to my expectations. I attempted to find a video to post here today, but there were none. If you like jazz you'll love Frank Morgan who captured the spirit and style of Charlie "Bird" Parker.

Toner MishapFavorite Books of '07

I always begin at the left with the opening word of the sentence and read toward the right and I recommend this method.
James Thurber (1894–1961), humorist

You will see that my compatriots are avid readers. B2 is a truly a voracious reader. I have mentioned that he and I work together, so I will share this tidbit with you; always around his desk are a stack of books, for him and his family. If I walk into the kitchen at lunch there is a good chance B2 is there reading. If I happen to be outside, the odds are good B2 will be walking to the Library while reading a book.

On The Mark reads in the quiet of the evening. I read more often than not five pages before going to sleep, which I hate. I really get into the book if I can read 50 plus pages in one sitting.

Without further ado just a few of the favorite books the writers at Toner Mishap have read this year.

On The Mark’s list
Non-fiction:
The Creators, by Paul Johnson
Blackwater, by Jeremy Scahill
Covering Islam, by Edward Said (published 1981)
Dispatches from the Edge, by Anderson Cooper

Fiction:
Three Soldiers, by John Dos Passos (published 1921, first edition)
Hadji Murad, by Leo Tolstoy
Exit Ghost, by Philip Roth
On Chesil Beach, by Ian McEwan
Falling Man, by Don DeLillo
Tin Roof Blowdown, by James Lee Burke

Note: I plan on tackling the new translation of War & Peace next summer, so “quantity” will be sacrificed for “quality” next year.

B2's List
Asked how many books he read in a year B2 responded: I’d have to guess about 100, figuring that there are weeks when I read just one and weeks when I read three or four. And possibly more, depending on how you count graphic novels (which can take the same time to get through as a short novel). Of course, I also read at night with each of my kids, so you’d have to add in long stuff like Harry Potter, Inkheart, and The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, as well as the shorter stuff like The Puppy in the Playground and the Junie B. Jones series and princess stories...

Here are 10 memorable ones from the year... but I go through too many to be able to remember back all the way to January with any real recall – I tried my best. In no particular order:

Non-fiction
Matisse and Picasso by Jack Flam
What is the What by Dave Eggers
Modigliani by Jeffrey Meyers

Mauve by Simon Garfield

Fiction
Ant Farm by Simon Rich
Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman
The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming by Lemony Snicket
Geek Mafia by Rick Dakan (self-published fiction)
Overclocked by Cory Doctorow
The Yiddish Policeman’s Union by Michael Chabon
I had to eliminate a bunch more... so this is a whittled-down list, for sure. I must stop thinking about it, or I’ll have even more on the list.

The Misanthrope's List
Non-fiction
Exile in Hell: A Season with the Rolling Stones

Fiction
House of Meetings by Martin Amis
Bangkok Haunts by John Burdett
Out Stealing Horses by Per Petterson
The Road by Cormac McCarthy
A Conspiracy of Paper by David Liss
Exit Ghost by Philip Roth
Ghost by Alan Lightman
The Journal of Dora Damage by Belinda Starling
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Fuiz Zafón

Thank you, Mr. Internet!

And thank you, Bradley Loos, for scanning in the covers of your entire record collection.

There is Still More to Come

He ate and drank the precious Words,
His Spirit grew robust;
He knew no more that he was poor,
Nor that his frame was Dust.
Emily Dickinson (1830–86), poet “A Book”

I apologize for the lack of posts. I will post the 10 favorite books that B2, On The Mark and I have read during the year. However, I had been very busy and now I am just tired, but my energy is returning. I thought the list was rather interesting, I suspect you will too.

Political Promises

One promises much, to avoid giving little.
Luc Vauvenargues Marquis de (1715–47), French moralist

From Mother Misanthrope

This Ol' House

Almost everybody in the neighborhood had “troubles,” frankly localized and specified; but only the chosen had “complications.” To have them was in itself a distinction, though it was also, in most cases, a death warrant. People struggled on for years with “troubles,” but they almost always succumbed to “complications.”
Edith Wharton (1862–1937), author

Here is a momentary conundrum, because once you think about it, it’s really a no brainer. You hire a contractor to remodel your house, who also happens to be an old high school classmate. As he is tearing down a bathroom wall he finds $182,000 in cash that is wrapped in newspapers dating from 1938 and 1939.

As the Wall Street Journal reported:

...the money was carefully wrapped in Cleveland Plain Dealer newspaper pages dating from 1938 and 1939 and tucked inside boxes contractor Bob Kitts found while working on a client's bathroom. He found one box, containing $25,200 in what the Plain Dealer called "pristine bills," behind the medicine cabinet. Another metal box, which was attached by a wire to a stud, held more than $100,000 in bills. The words "P. Dunne" were written on the bundles of dough, and the ownership of the house during the Depression was traced to a businessman by the name of Peter Dunne. "Dunne apparently died unmarried and childless, leaving behind a mystery [and a lot of cash].

I believe without a doubt that the money belongs to the owner not the contractor. However, the owner should be generous and give the contractor a nice bonus, if he finishes the job on time.

Suspicious-looking Nutcracker

I was at Disneyland this past Monday and Tuesday with the wife and kids, and was a little taken aback by this very suspicious-looking nutcracker on the holiday version of the "Small World" ride.

Relief from Department Store Music

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'
Dave Barry, writer

Jethro Tull's "A Christmas Song"





"Father Christmas" by The Kinks (the quality is a bit lacking)

On The Mark Does Magic iPod

On the Mark says: OK. Here are mine:


If Someone Says this Is OK, You Say:
I Am A Child - Neil Young

What Would Best Describe Your Personality:
The Down Low - Nellie McKay

What Do You Like in a Girl/Guy:
The Fall of Troy - Tom Waits

How Do You Feel Today:
Indiana - Sonny Stiff

What Is Your Life's Purpose:
I Should Care - Frank Morgan

What Is Your Motto:
I Me Mine - The Beatles

What Do Your Friends Think of You:
O Grande Amor - Stan Getz

What Do You Think of Your Parents:
Long, Hot Summer Night - Jimi Hendrix

What Do You Think about Very Often:
Thank You For the Music - ABBA (doesn't really count since this is for my wife)

What is 2+2:
Four - Keith Jarrett Trio (I'm not kidding; that's pretty funny)

What Do You Think of Your Best Friend:
I Fall In Love Too Easily - Shirley Horn

What Do You Think of the Person You Like:
Not My Friend - Norah Jones

What Is Your Life Story:
Fanfare & Introduction - The Rat Pack

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up:
All You Need Is Love - The Beatles

What Do You Think When You See the Person You Like:
When Your Love Has Gone -- Louis Armstrong

What Do Your Parents Think of You:
I've Grown Accustomed to His Face - Tierney Sutton

What Will You Dance to at Your Wedding:
On The Way Home - Neil Young

What Will They Play at Your Funeral:
Help! - The Beatles

What Is Your Hobby/Interest:
A Time to Love - Stevie Wonder

What Is Your Biggest Secret:
East of the Sun, West of the Moon - Louis Armstrong

What Do You Think of Your Friends:
Imagine - John Lennon

Led Zeppelin Returned

Rock & roll doesn’t necessarily mean a band. It doesn’t mean a singer, and it doesn’t mean a lyric, really. … It’s that question of trying to be immortal.
Malcolm McLaren, British rock impresario

This is rather impressive that a Led Zeppelin performance can make the front page of the New York Times, at least the online version.

I have no real interest in seeing them in person, but I’d like to watch an HBO or Showtime special. You can read the review in the link above.

Better than Magic 8 Ball

In short, luck’s always to blame.
Jean de La Fontaine (1621–95), French poet

I read this on Judgemental Mel's site and thought it was rather fun. I'd love to read whatever you come up with, if do it let me know.

The Rules: Put your iPod on Shuffle For each question, press the next button to get your answer You MUST write that song name down no matter what!

1) IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
“Bruised But Not Broken” -- Joss Stone

2) WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
“A Day in the Life” -- The Beatles

3) WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
“The Lemon Song” -- Led Zeppelin

4) HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
“Million Miles” -- Bob Dylan

5) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
“Tonight the Bottle Let Me Down” -- Elvis Costello

6) WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
“My Baby Just Cares for Me” -- Sophie Milman

7) WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
“Sugar Baby” -- Bob Dylan

8) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
“Dance Tonight” -- Paul McCartney

9) WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
“See Your Sunshine” -- Paul McCartney

10) WHAT IS 2+2?
“I Shall Be Released” -- Bob Dylan

11) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
“Glad to be Unhappy” -- The Tierney Sutton Band

12) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word” -- Ray Charles and Elton John

13) WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
“Got it Made” -- Crosby, Stills & Nash

14) WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
“Pony St” -- Elvis Costello

15) WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
“Jump on Top of Me” -- Rolling Stones

16) WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
“Butterflyz” -- Alicia Keys

17) WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” -- The Tonight Show Band

18) WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
“Natural Thing” -- John Fogerty

19) WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
“A Man and a Woman” -- U2

20) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
“I’ve Got a Crush on You” -- Frank Sinatra

21) WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
“The Seventh Son” -- Mose Allison

I think tomorrow, I will personally select the songs that should answer the questions.

Watching the Wheels

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives. … I think we’re being run by maniacs for maniacal ends … and I think I’m liable to be put away as insane for expressing that. That’s what’s insane about it.
John Lennon (1940–80), musician

It was 27 years ago that John Lennon was murdered.

The Los Angeles Times is an Embarrassment

That’s where *[The Los Angeles Times] lives … way out there on the puzzled, masturbating edge, peering through the keyhole and selling what they see to the big wide world of chamber of commerce voyeurs who support the public prints.
Hunter S. Thompson (1939-2005), journalist

This is from Slate’s “Today’s Papers". This is how far the Los Angeles Times news coverage has fallen:

The New York Times leads with more details on the case of the C.I.A.'s destroyed videotapes, including disclosures that several officials from the White House, the Justice Department and Congress advised the agency to keep the tapes. The Washington Post leads with, and the other papers front, demands from Democratic members of Congress that the Justice Department and congressional committees investigate the tapes' destruction. The Wall Street Journal tops its world-wide newsbox with a similar story, which also speculates that future terrorism trials could be compromised because the episode might raise doubts about government evidence. The Los Angeles Times leads with a breakdown in talks between Hollywood writers and studios.


The quote: the original quote from Hunter Thompson was about Time Magazine, but it applies to either one as far as I'm concerned.

Santa Called You a What?

The thing has been blown up out of all proportion. PC language is not enjoined on one and all—there are a lot more places where you can say “spic” and “bitch” with impunity than places where you can smoke a cigarette.
Katharine Whitehorn, journalist

This is political correctness gone amok. A department store Santa in the Australian town of Cairns claims he was fired from Santa duties for providing a jolly, "ho ho ho."

Apparently his employer had asked the St. Nicks it sends to stores to say "ha ha ha" instead, suggesting that the usage of "ho" -- in some American circles (even though they are down under) is shorthand for whore and might offend women. The Santa in question, John Oakes, a 70-year-old retired entertainer, said he was told that the three syllable phrase was the reason his services were no longer needed.

Calling Bill “Blowhard” O’Reilly
"They're trying to kill the spirit of Christmas," said Oakes, according to the report. According to the employer it was a poor attitude that got Santa sacked. Oakes is looking for a new Santa gig. Might we suggest “Pimp My Sleigh.”

Holy Sh*t

Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing
H.L. Mencken (1880–1956), writer

Why does Mitt Romney have to give a speech about his religion? Consider this from Lapham’s quarterly:

The number of people in the United States at the moment who believe in the literal truth of the "Book of Revelation" exceeds the number of people who lived in all of medieval Christendom.

News FlashMichael Bloomberg Third-Party Candidate

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under
H.L. Mencken (1880–1956), writer

The following is all true.

Last night as I was settling in to watch “Life” on the digital recorder, I received a phone call from a polling service (we don't have caller ID). The woman didn’t know who hired them and I believed her, so I agreed to answer some questions.

However as the questions went on, it became obvious that it was commissioned by Michael Bloomberg. By obvious I mean long statements about Bloomberg that I had to interrupt. Here is the announcement: Bloomberg is going to run as an independent candidate for president, if Hillary Clinton and Rudy Giuliani are their respective party nominees.


This would be the worse selection of candidates in my adult life, if this scenario comes to pass.

Happy Chanukah

It is the best of all trades, to make songs, and the second best to sing them.
Hilaire Belloc (1870–1953), author


Happy Chanukah. I remember watching this live, well at least three hours from being live. It seems so long ago that Adam Sandler was a regular on SNL.



Borrowed from Jack's with permission even (but no else like adam sandler or SNL), but who cares Jack said it was okay.

Person of the Year

The product of the artist has become less important than the fact of the artist. We wish to absorb this person. We wish to devour someone who has experienced the tragic. In our society this person is much more important than anything he might create.
David Mamet, playwright

Time magazine is gearing up to announce its Person of the Year pseudo-news edition, so they have been asking prominent individuals whom they would choose for the honor. Stephen King’s choice is right on the money.

He selected the following: Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan symbolize the media’s growing obsession with issues of personality over substance. People care more about the details of Spears’ child custody case than they do about where the billions the U.S. government has poured into Iraq have gone. It’s time for a discussion about whether the news media have chucked their responsibilities and run off to Tabloid Disneyland

The Man From U.N.C.L.E.

What do you think spies are: priests, saints and martyrs?
John Le Carré, novelist

This is for On The Mark. This series inspired him to karate chop his way into the principal's office and to return all the milk money he stole from kids.



I was reading the Los Angeles Times' Calendar section letters to the editor about the TV series, so I went to YouTube ...

Evil Knievel RIP

Come children, let us shut up the box and the puppets, for our play is played out.
William Makepeace Thackeray (1811–63), writer

From AP
Immortalized in the Washington's Smithsonian Institution as "America's Legendary Daredevil," Knievel was best known for a failed 1974 attempt to jump Snake River Canyon on a rocket-powered cycle and a spectacular crash at Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. He suffered nearly 40 broken bones (a clip of the jump is posted below) before he retired in 1980.

Though Knievel dropped off the pop culture radar in the '80s, the image of the high-flying motorcyclist clad in patriotic, star-studded colors was never erased from public consciousness. He always had fans and enjoyed a resurgence in popularity in recent years.

Another icon from my youth gone
We spent days riding our bicycles jumping over things. We actually stopped traffic with our bicycle jumps. We used a sawhorse and a heavy piece of plywood. We used a heavy piece of plywood as a ramp leaned against a 3-or 4-foot-high sawhorse positioned right at the front of my friend’s front yard grass. We started two houses back and pedaled our little hearts out and went flying through the air (without helmets). There were a number of cars watching us and not a single parent stopped us. I can’t even imagine what we were thinking. No one got hurt, my bike wasn’t as fortunate. The front forks were not made for such trauma, they eventually bent outward. Somehow my dad fixed it.

Eventually, we got real motorcycles. I was in the 7th grade. I had a brand new, green Suzuki 120cc motorcycle. I stripped it down as best I could into a dirt bike in order to become a motocross racer. Every now and again, we would find a field that had a natural hill that served as a ramp to make us airborne. We never jumped as high on the motorcycles as we did on the bicycles, but other little kids enjoyed watching us get our front tire up in the air.

Another signpost of my youth gone.