Elected officials Demonstrating Candor Be Afraid, Very Afraid...

Realism provides only amoral observation, while Absurdism rejects even the possibility of debate.
Frances Babbage, playwright, "Augusto Boal"

This is unbelievable.

You can find the entire article at Huffington Post

Hmm...

“Thinking is more interesting than knowing, but less interesting than looking”
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832), playwright, poet


A man in sober meditation battling with a powerful internal struggle...

Stylish Ants

“Ants are so much like human beings as to be an embarrassment. They farm fungi, raise aphids as livestock, launch armies into war, use chemical sprays to alarm and confuse enemies, capture slaves, engage in child labor, exchange information ceaselessly. They do everything but watch television.”
Lewis Thomas (1913-1993), physician and writer

Take a close look at the ant just left of center (you have to click on the photo) and you can see it has a faux Mohawk. I could have come a bit closer, but the persistent creatures started for my shoes.

To The Moon...

Dick Gordon of Apollo 12 was asked what did we learn from going to the moon. He replied, "we discovered the Earth.

Forty years ago today, Apollo 11 was the first manned mission to land on the Moon. It was the fifth human spaceflight of Project Apollo and the third human voyage to the Moon.

Launched on July 16, 1969, it carried Mission Commander Neil Alden Armstrong, Command Module Pilot Michael Collins, and Lunar Module Pilot Edwin Eugene 'Buzz' Aldrin, Jr.

On July 20, Armstrong and Aldrin became the first humans to walk on the Moon, while Collins orbited above.




In this July 1969 file photo, most of Africa and portions of Europe and Asia can be seen in this spectacular photograph taken from the Apollo 11 spacecraft during its translunar coast toward the moon, during the month of July, 1969. Apollo 11 was already about 98,000 nautical miles from earth when this picture was made. (AP-Photo/NASA, file) moon0714a

1. The Apollo’s Saturn rockets were packed with enough fuel to throw 100-pound shrapnel three miles, and NASA couldn’t rule out the possibility that they might explode on takeoff. NASA seated its VIP spectators three and a half miles from the launchpad.

2. The Apollo computers had less processing power than a cellphone.

3. Drinking water was a fuel-cell by-product, but Apollo 11’s hydrogen-gas filters didn’t work, making every drink bubbly. Urinating and defecating in zero gravity, meanwhile, had not been figured out; the latter was so troublesome that at least one astronaut spent his entire mission on an anti-diarrhea drug to avoid it.

4. When Apollo 11’s lunar lander, the Eagle, separated from the orbiter, the cabin wasn’t fully depressurized, resulting in a burst of gas equivalent to popping a champagne cork. It threw the module’s landing four miles off-target.

5. Pilot Neil Armstrong nearly ran out of fuel landing the Eagle, and many at mission control worried he might crash. Apollo engineer Milton Silveira, however, was relieved: His tests had shown that there was a small chance the exhaust could shoot back into the rocket as it landed and ignite the remaining propellant.

6. The "one small step for man" wasn’t actually that small. Armstrong set the ship down so gently that its shock absorbers didn’t compress. He had to hop 3.5 feet from the Eagle’s ladder to the surface.

7. When Buzz Aldrin joined Armstrong on the surface, he had to make sure not to lock the Eagle's door because there was no outer handle.

8. The toughest moonwalk task? Planting the flag. NASA’s studies suggested that the lunar soil was soft, but Armstrong and Aldrin found the surface to be a thin wisp of dust over hard rock. They managed to drive the flagpole a few inches into the ground and film it for broadcast, and then took care not to accidentally knock it over.

9. The flag was made by Sears, but NASA refused to acknowledge this because they didn’t want "another Tang."

10. The inner bladder of the space suits—the airtight liner that keeps the astronaut’s body under Earth-like pressure—and the ship’s computer’s ROM chips were handmade by teams of “little old ladies.”

Craig Nelson uncovered these facts in various NASA archives while researching his new book, Rocket Men (Viking; $28).

Solitude-- A Chair of One's Own

“The last stroke of midnight dies.
All day in the one chair
From dream to dream and rhyme to rhyme I have ranged
In rambling talk with an image of air:
Vague memories, nothing but memories.”
William Butler Yeats (1865-1939), poet, writer



Upon closer inspection, it's a bit tattered and torn and sadly symbolic of how society treats its elderly -- tossed aside and placed out of the way...

Censorship through Kindle and Other Devices

Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested: that is, some books are to be read only in parts, others to be read, but not curiously, and some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention.
Francis Bacon (1561-1626), philosopher, statesman, scientist, lawyer, jurist, and author.

The joys of reading and the agony of censorship, which almost half the population seems to be okay with, can be experienced by readers who own a Kindle.

If you had downloaded George Orwell’s famous novels “1984” and “Animal Farm” you no longer have them on your Kindle because the publisher decided it did not want to give the rights to Kindle, so Amazon.com used its wireless connection to each Kindle to delete copies on the owners' Kindles and refunded their money.

If you have decided to call your friends on your iPhone or other network tethered devices you need not feel so superior.

Daughter sent THIS to me and you too should read it and be aware:

"tethered appliances," that is, appliances like the Kindle and the iPhone that feature a combination of hardware and software services connected by a network. The manufacturer of the tethered appliance can easily discover what consumers are doing with the product, can restrict what end-users do with the hardware, and can alert the features of the product by remote control. It simultaneously offers the possibility of privacy invasions and retroactive alterations of features. The Kindle story shows that it also offers the possibility of private censorship.

RIP Walter Cronkite

Objective journalism and an opinion column are about as similar as the Bible and Playboy magazine.
Walter Cronkite (1916-2009) journalist

I am delighted that I was able to see Walter Cronkite live a couple of years ago where he was interviewed by Anderson Cooper.

All the news reports on Cronkite tonight show how far news delivery has declined, which also includes understanding by viewers.

Sadly, that's the way it was and is today.

The post I wrote about seeing Cronkite: My Post

Mel Gibson to Star in Jodie Foster's Beaver

It's the most disturbing headline I've seen in a while. Full story here, but you've already read the best part. Trust me.

Happy Birthday to My Wife

You are the love of my life -- and I am happy to be celebrating another Bastille Day with you.

Please Act Now!!

If you have an ounce of charitable feelings, please I deplore you to support "Buy One Anyway." Without these people we would have never known about:

• Watergate
• No stinkin' WMDs in Iraq
• Brownie doing a heck of a job
• That Cheney was holding secret meetings with energy company CEOs
• That Rumfeld used scripture to duped "W" moving forward with bad military choices
• That $9 billion allotted for Iraqi reconstruction went up in smoke

Please watch this video and act generously.




Tip of the hat to On The Mark for pointing this out.

SOUR '日々の音色 (Hibi no neiro)'

Most awesome video I've seen all year.

Is it always illegal to kill a woman?The 15 Creepiest Vintage Ads Of All Time

Check them all out at Retro Comedy.

Hat tip to Boing Boing for pointing these out to us.

Why I follow Rob Corddry on Twitter

Some might wonder (hello, wife) why I follow Rob Corddry on Twitter. This is why.

Photos from the Musee Mecanique

The Musee Mecanique in San Francisco is "one of the world’s largest privately owned collections of mechanically operated musical instruments and antique arcade machines." Pretty cool stuff -- the kids liked it, and so did I (no surprise). Here are some detail shots.

Pistol Packin Parishioners

“Every gun that's made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed. This world in arms...is spending the genius of its scientists, the sweat of its laborers.”
Dwight David Eisenhower (1890-1969), 34th President

The Misanthrope pulled this article from EnViSiOn, A Canadian Perspective Visually and Verbally Expressed with Passion

I have to thank Jonathan Turley for this article, and for proving to me that Arkansas is a creepy place.

Guns and God: Arkansas Legislators Move to Armed the Faithful in Church

Legislators in Arkansas do no want to have to chose between god and guns. They are pushing legislation to allow citizens to pack heat in the house of God. Grant Exton is a gun owner and president of the state’s Concealed Carry Association insists that they are simply trying to give all churches the right have armed congregationalists. Gun owners can then lock and load for Jesus.

This does not go over well with Little Rock pastor John Phillips for good reason. In 1986, he explained: “A gentleman came into the church. He was mentally deranged, and at the end of the sermon, pulled out a gun and shouted something about baptism and proceeded to shoot me in the back a couple of times. I still carry one of the bullets embedded in my spine.”

This could pose a difficult choice for gun owners of what weapon is best suited for a particular sermon. A Glock might be suitable for a New Testament sermon, but the Old Testament is strictly non-automatic weapons only. Easter might call for something cute like a derringer while Christmas deserves a MAC-10.

End Times

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
End Times
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Newt Gingrich Unedited Interview

Jason Jones visits the offices of the New York Times to find out why the last of a dying breed prefer aged news to real news.

Chocolate Rabbit News Rabbitly Breaking --

"I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit.
"No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't. But there was going to be when I began it. It's just that something happened to it along the way."”
From Winnie the Pooh

Here at Toner Mishap we spare no effort (I mean that literally) to get the story. Today we investigate, the bitter chocolate battle over the legal right to trademark a chocolate bunny taking place in Europe. We went through our Rolodex of numbers to find quotes from some of the best known rabbits and their perspective:

• Bugs Bunny said, “hell no, I am so hopping mad. Of course you can’t trade mark a figure that belongs to an entire race.

• The Hare (The Tortoise and the Hare) asked, “Who wants to race?”

• Br'er Rabbit replied, “Not only would I have been tarred, but I could have been made illegal too. This makes no sense.”

• Velveteen Rabbit said, “I hope this ruling takes the stuffing out of the whole industry.”

• Peter Rabbit said, “What happen to eating healthy? We don’t need junk food.”

• Easter Bunny dismissed the question saying, he was just hare for the holidays.”

• Harvey, Could not be found for a comment.

• Trix Rabbit yelled, “It’s for the kids, gimme a break.”

• Monty Python Killer Rabbit was laying low and had no comment

• Playboy Bunny in a high pitched petite voice said, teehe, teehe, I have no idea need to get my hare peroxided.

• March Hare said, "Hey, I have an excellent idea, let's change the subject."

• Roger Rabbit said, “How about finding some chocolate vixens?”

• Pregnancy Rabbit was dead. P.S. James and Linda you better see your doctor

• The Energizer Bunny was in route and unavailable for comment

• Thumper raged, “Someone needs to put their foot down about this issue.”

• The White Rabbit said, “Dude, take a chill pill.”

• The Nesquik Bunny asked, “How do you spell it?”
  

That’s all folks, my time has gone by much too rabbitly. I just got hare, but need to tend to my day job before they cut my celery.

Pensive Bob Dylan Playlist

"Dylan is so brilliant. To me, he makes William Shakespeare look like Billy Joel."
George Harrison (1943 – 2001), singer, songwriter, Beatle

I love listening to music and as a result I have spent an inordinate amount of money buying music, so much so that I raised daughter not to have the same love of music. I have more than 15,000 songs on my computer which allows me to make many tailored plays lists. I have so many playlists that scrolling to the Rolling Stones or Yo-Yo Ma in the car can take about five minutes. As a result, I have started adding an “A” before more frequently listened to lists (e.g., aRock & Roll, aFrank Sinatra, etc.). I even have the same artists divided into categories such as Frank Sinatra Sad, Frank Sinatra Swinging, Frank Sinatra Live, Bob Dylan Pensive, Bob Dylan Rocking. So periodically when I run out of time and things to write about I will unselfishly share my lists:


Bob Dylan Pensive
This is has become one of my favorites because of his last two CDs “Together through Life” and “Modern Times”
1. I feel a Change Comin’ On (“Together Through Life”)
2. Workingman’s Blues #2 (“Modern Times”)
3. Life is Hard (“Together Through Life”)
4. Moonlight (“Love & Thief”)
5. Blowin’ in the Wind (“Biograph”)
6. Jolene (“Together Through Life”)
7. Forever Young (“Biograph”)
8. Just Like a Woman (“Before the Flood”)
9. If you See Her, Say Hello (“Blood on the Tracks”)
10. My Wife’s Home Town (“Together Through Life”)
11. Beyond Here Lies Nothin’ (“Together Through Life”)
12. Things Have Changed (Tall Tale Signs)
13. Lay Lady Lay (“Biograph”)
14. The Man in Me (“New Morning”)
15. You’re Gonna Quit Me (“Good as I Been to You”)
16. One More Cup of Coffee (“Desire”)
17. Every Grain of Sand (“Biograph”)
18. Everything is Broken (“Everything is Broken
19. What Good Am I? (“Oh Mercy”)
20. Tomorrow Night (“As Good as I Been to You”)
21. Sittin’ on Top of the World (“As Good as I Been to You”)
22. Most of the Time “(Oh Mercy”)
23. Tangled up in Blue (“The Bootleg Series Vol. 1-3”)
24. Simple Twist of Fate (Blood on the Tracks”)
25. Idiot Wind (“Blood on the Tracks”)
26. Dreamin’ of You (“Together Through Life”)
27. Don’t Fall Apart on Me Tonight (“Infidels”)
28. Sad Eyed Lady of the Lowlands (“Blonde on Blonde”)
29. Meet me in the Morning (“Blood on the Tracks”)
30. One More Weekend (“New Morning”)
31. Mississippi (“Tall Tale Signs”)

There are 56 more songs, but this should get you started.

I'm not here to make friends.

This is the most (only!) reality TV I've ever watched.

Notes on Happiness

Happiness, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), writer, quote from “The Devil’s Dictionary”

A couple of weeks ago I found a commencement speech by David Foster Wallace from a few years back and it seemed to carry universal truths (also, I added the slashes next to freedom and inserted happiness). The New York Times has on its list of most e-mailed articles, “The Joy of Less” by Pico Iyer that I have included a couple of paragraphs from, but I encourage you to read it all. I also pulled out my book on “Happiness, A History” by Darrin M. McMahon and added a couple of additional thoughts. finally I have taken their paragraphs broke them up and included bullet points for easier blog reading.



From Wallace:

• If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth.

• Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you.

• Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear.

• Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out.

• The insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful, it's that they're unconscious. They are default settings.

• The really important kind of freedom/happiness involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day. That is real freedom/happiness. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.

From Iyer:

• Perhaps happiness, like peace or passion, comes most when it isn’t pursued.

• The millionaires I know seem desperate to become multimillionaires, and spend more time with their lawyers and their bankers than with their friends (whose motivations they are no longer sure of).

• I remember how, in the corporate world, I always knew there was some higher position I could attain, which meant that, like Zeno’s arrow, I was guaranteed never to arrive and always to remain dissatisfied.

• My two-room apartment in nowhere Japan seems more abundant than the big house that burned down. I have time to read the new John le Carre, while nibbling at sweet tangerines in the sun. When a Sigur Ros album comes out, it fills my days and nights, resplendent. And then it seems that happiness, like peace or passion, comes most freely when it isn’t pursued.

• If you’re the kind of person who prefers freedom to security, who feels more comfortable in a small room than a large one and who finds that happiness comes from matching your wants to your needs, then running to stand still isn’t where your joy lies.

• In New York, a part of me was always somewhere else, thinking of what a simple life in Japan might be like. Now I’m there, I find that I almost never think of Rockefeller Center or Park Avenue at all.

From McMahon:

• Might not the search for happiness entail its own undoing? Does not our modern commandment to be happy produce its own forms of discontent?

• Happiness, … is a characterization of an entire life that can be reckoned only at death. To believe oneself happy in the meantime is premature, and probably an illusion, for the world is cruel and unpredictable, governed by forces beyond our control. A whim of the gods, the gift of good fortune, the determination of fate…

Blogging and Writing

Blogs are whatever we make them. Defining 'blog' is a fool's errand.
Michael Conniff, writer

The article in the New York Times about why bloggers abandoned their blogs titled “Blogs Falling in an Empty Forest,” says it’s because they are not making money or getting book deals. From my personal experience with On The Mark and B2, we didn’t get into to make money. It was more to have a platform for our opinions about current events. We did for one year and we posted every day by 9 p.m. PST. Keeping that pace, trying to have a life, and working took a toll on our time. After one year we said goodbye to everyday blogging.


Now we blog when we feel like it and readers come by when they feel like it. The article also mentioned that most blogs have an audience of one, but when you add in my family and everyone who wants to see the Hopper artwork, we have a readership of approximately 100 or so a day. I haven’t blogged lately because I have been extremely busy at work and that has taken a toll on my personal time. Things are returning to a somewhat normal pace and my desire to write has also returned.

I had started this post on Sunday, but was sidetracked by the Laker game (even with a section of the TV screen blocked out. See post below) and the book I am reading. So, I visited Random Thoughts and Jack had already posted about this. I agree with him, so check out his post and he even has a link to the NYTimes' article.

Another source of inspiration that is encouraging me to write is that a former sports editor Bill Sherwonit from the local newspaper, where I once worked while in college, has now published a number of books about the Alaskan wilderness. I thought how great to do something you absolutely love and become a recognized expert. I don’t dislike what I do, but I wouldn’t do it if I wasn’t paid to for it.

I blog because I enjoy it. I love our little platform for sharing opinions, photos, and grips; and, if you enjoy it too, all the better.

Blogging is just another form of creative writing.
The Misanthrope, blogger

Summer Savings on Tops

Expensive clothes are a waste of money.
Meryl Streep, actress

It's bad enough that bathing suits cost an outrageous sum for not much material. The economy is bad, so Toner Mishap is eager to help you save money this summer. We searched the globe, or rather opened our e-mail, and present to you a new way to stretch clothing dollars and recycle.

Those have to be some big briefs...

Animal Lover -- Not Me -- Not Much

"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
Ann Landers (1918-2002), syndicated newspaper advice columnist

There are issues with stuff toys scattered about the house, splintered chew sticks, a dog bed in the living room, towels laying around to cover the couch when wife has to have the pet nearby.

Dogs smell like dogs and that is suppose to excuse the stale, pungent stench that hovers over the pint-sized beast like the dirt cloud that follows Charlie Brown’s buddy Pigpen?

Nonetheless, I am slowly finding an appreciation for the furry-headed pet with the protruding under bite. Maybe it’s because of teasing and playfully tormenting him brings me a bit of pleasure. He is certainly not a brave dog. If I crinkle the newspaper or a plastic bag from the grocery store and go after him, he starts tearing around the house until he eventually races into my bedroom scrambling under the bed or hides behind wife's legs. Watching him start off on the wood floors is like a cartoon, his little legs are moving, but for a moment there is no traction.

The thought of making him overly skittish is not a worry as he wags his tail and barks encouragement to keep it up, so we start anew until I tire out.

More Best Buy Quality Service

Customers don’t expect you to be perfect. They do expect you to fix things when they go wrong.
Donald Porter, V.P., British Airways

Here is my 42” Samsung Plasma HD flat screen. Oh, that big black stripe running vertically down the right side is the second time in less than three years that this television has had issues. This is also the second time in less than three years that Best Buy has sent someone out, because I have the extended warranty, and the second time in less than three years that Best Buy could not fix it and has to come back in two weeks, which means another time of trying to be home from work within their 2-4 hour window.

Thank you Best Buy! I get to watch the French Open, the NBA Finals, The Belmont Stakes, the new season of Weeds, Nurse Jackie, the news everyday with this black block. Thank you for your quality service.

And, Samsung you suck too!

Han Solo, P.I.

OMG

Party Games For The Recession

From McSweeney's.

- - - -

Bobbing for Pride

Seven Minutes in Debtor's Prison

Nickels

Hot Potato Famine

Spin the Bottle and Then Redeem It for Ten Cents

Stiff as a Board, Light as Your Wallet

Chutes and More Fucking Chutes

Hungry, Hungry Children

Sorry!

The future of reporting?

Check it out, at The Onion.

Geek "Rock Star"

Yes, it's a commercial for Intel. No, I haven't switched sides.

Netherlands runs out of criminals,has to shut prisons

Netherlands obviously knows what the hell they're doing; how about we take some lessons from them? President Obama, I'm talking to you.

The Dutch justice ministry has announced it will close eight prisons and cut 1,200 jobs in the prison system. A decline in crime has left many cells empty.

Read the story here.

[Tip of the hat to Boing Boing.]

[And thanks to Shepard Fairey for the graphic.]

Survey results on social media and reputational risk

Deloitte has a report out on results from their third annual "Ethics & Workplace" survey; this one's about social media (e.g., blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc.) and the reputational risk to companies when their employees use them.

Click here to check it out.

Remember when?Christian Bale's Meltdown:The Dance Remix

This is so old now, but I've had the track in my iTunes, and it just came up (I love shuffle!) so I felt like sharing. It's totally NSFW, but it's catchy and I can dance to it.

Note to wife:don't watch this.

You think it's just going to be cool and neat, but it gets dark and scary. Sorry to spoil it for those who like dark and scary, but everyone else should consider this fair warning.

That said, *I loved it.

How to Beat the Swine Flu

It's really simple.

Americans, we've decided, are so dumb that "we" think to avoid the swine flu, just don't eat pork. (I never eat pork, but that's another story.) To avoid this misconception, the CDC et. al. are attempting to rebrand Swine Flu as H1N1, hoping that will lead to people doing more sensible things to avoid contracting the flu, and skipping the ridiculous pro-avoidance methodology.

Here's how you beat the swine flu (and all flu strains in the future): call it the Dirty Hands Flu.

Feel free to share my idea; just credit Toner Mishap.

Michael Kontopoulos' sculptures that almost tip themselves over

Machines that Almost Fall Over
from Michael Kontopoulos on Vimeo.

[Thanks, Boing Boing!]

Susan Boyle -- A Feel Good Story

If ever there were a feel good story this is it. All our stereotyping and prejudices are shown for what they are. This is incredible.

An Amazing Voice and Story

Disney's animation templates

There's nothing wrong about it, I suppose -- but it makes you wonder if there were some lazy animators around the studio...

Family tensions explored in shootings

From a local beach paper: "Family tensions explored in shootings -- police say one gun was purchased around time in-laws came to visit"

Happy Passover!

Mobile Pix from the Beach

Back from vacation, with a couple of shots to share -- taken on my cameraphone PDA thingamabob.

Wall-E and Watchmen Trailer Mash-up

[Hat tip to GeekTyrant.]

Knowns Better Left Unknown

Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - - the ones we don't know we don't know. And if one looks throughout the history of our country and other free countries, it is the latter category that tend to be the difficult ones.
Donald H. Rumsfeld, former Secretary of Defense

A couple of news items that caught my eye

Naked hikes
Hiking naked in the Swiss Alps! Traipsing around in the altogether seems daffy and not particularly safe. What if you slip and fall? it could make sitting rather uncomfortable. I am not going to even discuss other issues.

Good ol’ fashion hidden prices
Starbucks has opted to change its strategy from being a ubiquitous coffeehouse to little ol' fashion coffeehouse by leaving Frappuccinos and prices off its menu board. A spokeswoman for Starbucks said the changes were aimed at making the store feel more like a coffeehouse. Well, this will surely do that trick because when you can’t see the price, you don’t mind overpaying for coffee and coffee milkshakes.


Ignore right-wing talk show hosts
John McCain’s daughter Meghan has a message for conservative talk-show host Laura Ingraham: “Kiss my fat ass.” Last week, Ingraham mocked McCain on her radio show after the daughter of former GOP presidential nominee John McCain urged Republicans to seek compromise with Democrats. Ingraham called McCain “a Valley Girl gone awry” and a “plus-sized model.”

Blogworthy deli meat?

I guess the ad isn't misleading after all, because I *am* blogging about it. But I saw this magazine ad for Oscar Mayer deli meat, and I thought, "WTF?!?"

Jon Stewart creams Jim Cramer on the Daily Show

I hate to post right on top of the Misanthrope, but this is a must-see for anyone affected by the financial crisis. Which is everyone.



"Jon Stewart made Jim Cramer look like a wounded puppy tonight as the CNBC host joined The Daily Show after a full week of back-and-forth... Stewart's point was that Wall Street got fat off of all our pension plans, 401K's and long-term investments, while the 'Fast Money' crowd cashed in our long-term investments -- and CNBC was complicit in the entire gambit..."

It doesn't fix anything, but it feels good to watch it happen.

BoingBoing told me about this video from Crooks and Liars.

Not the Best Buy or Service

"There are no traffic jams along the extra mile."
Roger Staubach, former football quarterback

You ever wonder why customer service stinks, especially in a place like a large electronics retailer that touts its prices in its name?

Read a couple of their comments and be very worried about what awaits you if purchase a computer, flat screen television, or anything else from this well-trained crew. Maybe automated service is not such a bad thing after all.

Here is the original post.

Anonymous said...

The reason you can't use a reward zone certificate on a purchase less that what the value states on the card is they can't give you cash back for the certificate. If you didn't want to spend your extra dollars then the price could have been marked up to the exact twenty and you would have owed nothing. Of course you would have paid more for it. The reward zone program is used to keep you coming back to Best Buy. And it's pretty stupid for you to say it isn't free. It is free. Yeah you did pay $1000 to get that twenty back but if you went to Walmart and spent that what would you get back? NOTHING. So why bitch about having to spend "few extra cents or dollars"? That's how much a cd just cost you!! And I'm sorry to tell you this but that's how it has always been with the reward zone certificates! It wasn't just taken up now that Cicuit City is going out of business. I'm also sure that Best Buy has noticed that you don't shop there anymore. Like a previous poster said.. you could change the amount you receive at a time. But to be honest I'd rather you still stay away from Best Buy. I'm sure one less person like you shopping there is a plus for them.


Anonymous said...

all you stupid assholes are why we at best buy tend to ignore you or are not willing to help. you bitch about a free, i repeat, FREE service because you expect us to hand you the world. there are guidelines and rules we have to obey and you stupid assholes continually harassing and bitching at us won't make us any more willing to help you. i deal with you jerks every single day at geek squad and it makes me sick knowing i have to come into work and deal with each and every one of you mouth breathers. just shut the fuck up and let us do our job. we're paid to do what our department says, not put up with your bull shit.


Anonymous said...

oh, and if you think just one of you no longer coming into best buy is gonna matter, do you honestly think we notice? we get HUNDREDS upon THOUSANDS of you a week. one of you will not affect us in the least, if anything it gives us a much more pleasurable working environment knowing you won't be coming in to annoy us with your stupid questions, and retarded stories.

How did you find Toner Mishap?

Our semi-regular round-up of search terms that got folks here.

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Instant on = 60 second delay?

Saw this at Home Depot, and had to snap it with my Treo.

This recession is awesome!

[From McSweeney's]

Mom and Dad keep talking about this recession and I gotta say: it's awesome! Yesterday, I ate pizza for breakfast, mac and cheese and hot-dog cubes for lunch, and then more pizza for dinner! Mom said that I could eat as much McDonald's as I want, and she even offered to leave me there in the ball pit for an entire day while she went and looked for new jobs! Awesome!

Every day after school, I used to go to violin lessons, but now Mom says I don't have to go anymore! This is so awesome because the violin was so boring and my teacher, Mrs. Calabrass, smelled like the attic and didn't let me drink soda! But now I don't have to deal with Mrs. Calabrass or listen to stupid Brahms with her! I hate the attic — but I love this recession!

We'd planned to go to France or something for our family vacation. But now, since it's the recession, we're all going to Gilbert's Goofy Park and playing minigolf and going on the go-karts! And even batting cages maybe, too! I don't think France has any batting cages or go-karts, so this is an amazing, amazing thing! I think if I'm good I can probably eat pizza at Gilbert's Goofy Park! I love pizza and I love this recession!

Dad's been home so much recently and it's been awesome! He just wears underpants and watches sports highlights and eats Cooler Ranch Doritos, which sounds super fun! I have to go to school, so I only get to see him when I get home, but yesterday Dad and I played Xbox together for six hours! He started off pretty good at the games, but each hour he got worse and worse, and soon he started making weird noises! He even started saying his words all slow and jumbled like a crazy man! He's really having a good time in this recession! So am I!

We used to have to drive like a gazillion hours in the car to get to Grandma's weird big blue house with no TV, but now Grandma drives her new house over to us in her new RV! It's amazing! I totally didn't know cars could also be houses and have stoves and have TVs, but they can! Grandma has it all thanks to the recession. And so do I!

Man, I hope this recession never ends. Me and my friends always high-five each other when we hear an older person say, "Not in this economy," because we know it always leads to something awesome for us! This is the best childhood ever! I could live like this for the rest of my life!

I love this recession!

Obama's Ombudsman(say *that* five times fast)is blogging!

It's weird; I've come to expect a far lower level of transparency, after eight years with that other guy.

So when I see that President's Obama ombudsman (Director of the Office of Management and Budget) Peter Orszag is blogging about his job and what they're doing to manage the deficit, it's surprising and cool.

Check it out here, if you're into reading; today's [first] post is titled "Discipline, Efficiency, Prosperity."

Buy my old perfume!

You know you want to smell good, like me.

What did Data do?

Incredible stop-motion animation video

My wife will be upset because video is still all jumpy when she tries to watch it on her computer.... but the rest of you will enjoy this.

More About Typewriters

I had this in the comment field of The Misanthrope's piece... but he suggested it get posted as a companion piece.

This video is probably incomprehensible to many youngsters today -- "who is that guy?" "what's that sound?" "what is the guy doing with his hands?" -- but it was one of my favorite things when I was a lad:

Typewriter Repairman and an Orangutan

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
Ernest Hemingway quotes (1899-1961), writer

There was a man, Martin Tytell, who loved typewriters, so much so that when he passed away back in September 2008, The Economist magazine carried his obituary. I too love typewriters, but it was all I could do to change the ribbon. I realize that last sentence may be over the heads of a number of readers who cannot imagine a world without computers or cell phones, but I am not going to explain it now.

From The Economist:
…they would sit on the desk with an air of expectancy, like a concert grand once the lid is raised. On older models that keys, metal-rimmed with white inlay, invited the user to play forceful concertos on them, while the silvery type-bars rose and fell chittering and whispering from their beds.

From the blog/website The New Nixon:
Mr. Tytell wore a white lab coat and a bow tie while waiting on customers who included writers and journalists such as Dorothy Parker, Richard Condon, David Brinkley, and Harrison Salisbury. Both Adlai Stevenson and Dwight Eisenhower were among his clients. He was sufficiently established to have letters addressed to “Mr. Typewriter, New York,” delivered to his premises at 116 Fulton Street in lower Manhattan.

I typed many a concerto. However, I suspect it sounded more like a new violinist practicing and probably read just as badly. One of my longest compositions was the story on the orangutan learning to read. Here is a photo taken while I was on assignment interviewing a woman who was attempting to teach the orangutan how to read English. After this picture was taken (circa 1979-'80), I immediately dashed and locked myself in my car until that ape-like creature was locked up. I was younger in that picture than daughter is today.

Obama's Elf

Enjoy this 18 seconds of animation pun fun.



Made by this guy.
[Tip of the hat to BoingBoing.

The Simpsons in HD

Not sure if this means we're going to have to buy a new TV... I hope not. Of course, it's starting to get annoying how much of our shows we're missing because of the new screen ratio (we miss the edges)... but the Simpsons just had their first episode in HD yesterday, and darn if it didn't look clearer than usual! The title sequence was totally redone as well, and had lots of new details, including this odd shot with God and Satan angrily confronting one another that you'd've missed if you didn't watch it frame-by-frame on your computer afterward (as I did).

Dick Cavett Column

“There was also evidence of misbehavior backstage, ... Stubbed-out joints, copies of Jack Kerouac, a copy of Ulysses in the detritus of the dressing room.”
Dick Cavett, writer, former television talk show host

More likely than not, you love reading and writing or you probably would not be poking around here, well, unless you are into all the other crap we post, but in this case I hope to enlighten you by highly recommending a column my Dick Cavett.

Cavett, who frequently writes an online opinion piece "Talk Show" for the NYTimes, has one today that features John Updike and John Cheever when they were both on his talk show. It is worth reading and watching the video clips.

Songs for the Heart Broken

Cupid, n. The so-called god of love. This bastard creation of a barbarous fancy was no doubt inflicted upon mythology for the sins of its deities. Of all unbeautiful and inappropriate conceptions this is the most reasonless and offensive. The notion of symbolizing sexual love by a semisexless babe, and comparing the pains of passion to the wounds of an arrow—of introducing this pudgy homunculus into art grossly to materialize the subtle spirit and suggestion of the work—this is eminently worthy of the age that giving it birth, laid it on the doorstep of posterity.
Ambrose Bierce (1842 – 1914?), writer, from “The Devil’s Dictionary”

What kind of misanthrope would I be if I didn’t offer up songs for the day after Valentine’s Day? While everything maybe hunky dory today just remember there is tomorrow, as the optimistic “Annie” sings. So, looking toward tomorrow and the days after Cupid’s day, I offer you a collection of songs for the broken hearted:

The Party’s Over – (when you wake up Sunday you may realize the truth) – Nate King Cole, The Billy May Sessions

Cottage for Sale – (my personal saddest song) – Nate King Cole, The Billy May Sessions

I’m Hurtin’ – (a honest assessment without sounding heartbroken) – Nate King Cole, The Billy May Sessions

Don’t Worry ‘bout Me – (“Live at the Sands” offers the best version, but the version on “Where are You” released in 1957 showcases the silky voiced Chairman of the Board) – Frank Sinatra

Thanks for the Memory – (this is not the happy Bing Crosby/Bob Hope tune, if you still know who they were) Frank Sinatra “She Shot me Down” released in 1981

In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning – (this is where you could be in just hours after midnight; this classic captures those lonely hours best) – In the Wee Small Hours by Frank Sinatra released in 1954

I Wanna Be Around – (this is one of the best ‘you’ll get yours’ songs) – from the Might as Well Be Swing Sinatra and Basie album released in 1961

Now let’s listen to what the rock and rollers have to say:

Almost Hear You Sigh – (every female who has heard this song likes it, including daughter) – Rolling Stones from “Steel Wheels”

Slippin’ Away – (or maybe this was the song every female who has heard this song likes it, including daughter) – Rolling Stones from “Steel Wheels”

Already Over Me – (Mick being a bit melodramatic, but good nonetheless) – Rolling Stones “Bridges to Babylon”

Melt My Heart to Stone – (see, I listen to some new music, this song is very good, but I enjoy the whole CD months before she appeared on Saturday Night Live) – From the singer Adele and her début CD “Adele 19”

Hate it Here – (this is the modern version of Cottage for Sale and strikes me as very sad) – Wilco from “Sky Blue Sky”

Love Stinks – (a bit too commercial for me, but good nonetheless) – The J. Geils Band

You’re Breaking My Heart – (this sums it all up) – Harry Nilsson from “Son of Schmilsson”

This is by no means my definitive list, but just quickly scrolling through my list of music, I thought this would be a good starter list for the realists out there.

Kayfabe

This is most fascinating thing I've read about pro wrestling since Roland Barthes.

Wikipedia has an entry on "kayfabe" -- the portrayal of events within the industry as "real," that is, not staged.

This used to be a closely guarded secret, and is still held close to the vest by wrestlers, but these days it's not secret. The article is fascinating.

Movie Novelizations, Covers by Saul Bass*

*Not really; it's this guy.

Cannabis and a Bottle of Cream, Please

"Marijuana gives rise to insanity -- not in its users but in the policies directed against it. A nation that sentences the possessor of a single joint to life imprisonment without parole but sets a murderer free after perhaps six years is in the grips of a deep psychosis."
Eric Schlosser, author

When I was a youngster when had a milkman (there was no iceman, I am not that old) who would deliver our bottles of milk, he even ran over my tricycle (I don’t recall being traumatized, but maybe the scars have shown up different ways, I suppose it’s all my mother’s fault).

Anyway, the point of this post is that in London, Milkman Robert Holding, 72, delivered marijuana as he made his daily rounds in the town of Burnely, in northwestern England (our milkman didn't at least that I am aware of, maybe he smoked it, which is why he crushed my tricycle). He decided to provide pot to his customers. They would leave their requests for butter, cream, and cannabis. He wasn’t supplying it to the young and hip crowd, no this was for the elderly customers who were suffering from the effects of old age.

According to the BBC report, "He said that customers left him notes saying, for example, 'Can I have an ounce this week or can I have an eighth?'."

He said his oldest client was 92 and added: "Word had got out that he was a man who could supply cannabis to those of a certain age with aches and pains and he misguidedly believed he was providing a public service."

Holding pleaded guilty to supplying the drug and was given suspended jail sentence of 36 months.

Great now what are his elderly customers going to do about the pain?

Veggie Love: PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

When I heard that NBC wouldn't accept PETA's ad for the Super Bowl, I was curious. When I heard it involved lingerie and vegetables, I had to see it.

'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad

On The Mark -- Good Bank, Bad Bank

There's been a lot of talk about the government establishing a "bad bank" where the banks can dump all of their troubled loans and other ugly money to clean up their balance sheets. I think the proponents of this strategy have it all wrong.

Instead of funneling all those billions of dollars into banks that have proven they can't manage money properly, the government should put its billions into a good bank and use that to produce mortgage loans and refinancing, and credit lines for small businesses.

The banks should be left to figure out how they're going to get out of the mess they've greedily gotten themselves into. They've clearly shown that they have no regard for the so-called Mainstreet, and will only use the money to clean up their balance sheets, protect their pay and bonuses. Very little of that money will make its way to Main Street. It's like oil and water; there's no connection between the banks and Mainstreet anymore.

Why should the banks be bailed out when Mainstreet, weighted down with their debts until they die, is not getting bailed out, instead thrown out onto the streets to live in cardboard boxes?

And why did the banks push so hard to restructure the bankruptcy laws last year -- because they saw this disaster coming before anyone else did and they were doing some preventive crisis management.

After a few years, the Good Bank could be sold to the private sector after the Bad Banks have climbed out of their holes on their own, at a tidy profit for us taxpayers.

On The Mark -- My Time with Notorious B.I.G.

Seeing that a new movie, Notorious, has been released, I realized again that I actually have a Notorious B.I.G. story. Hard to believe for those who know me.

Several years ago I was a L.A. Clippers season ticket holder, back in the day when the professional basketball team played at the Sports Arena. They were horrible then as they are now. But I was flush with cash and I enjoyed watching some of the big stars when they came to town. My seats were a couple rows from the court behind one of the baskets.

One night I sat behind a really big guy. The Philadelphia 76ers were in town and I noticed that Derrick Coleman and a few other players with the 76ers often made some kind of signal to the big guy sitting in front of me during free throws. I didn't know who the heck he was, and soon into the game a long line started to form in the aisle of mostly kids and teenagers seeking autographs.

At first I thought he might be a football player with the Eagles. I leaned over and whispered to a kid in the aisle, "who is that guy?' and he looked at me like I had just had a heart attack right in front of him. "That's Notorious B.I.G., man. You kiddin' me!" I still didn't know who the hell he was.

But I did notice that the other big guy, but all muscle, who was sitting in the aisle seat next to B.I.G. never watched the game. He spent all his time looking over his shoulders and scanning the crowd. I remember it because it annoyed the hell out of me.

It seems like it was the next day, but maybe it was a few days later, B.I.G. was assassinated on the streets of L.A., so the other big guy obviously knew something was up and was looking for snipers or something.

I'm curious now to see the movie and find out if they included his visit to the Clippers-76ers game.

Why Aren't We On Facebook?

[Tip of the hat to The Onion.]

When Bloggers Meet

“You meet people who forget you. You forget people you meet. But sometimes you meet those people you can't forget. Those are your friends.”
Unknown

I had the pleasure of meeting Jack from Random Thoughts the other night. We met at a neighborhood diner and the food was good and the waitress knew Jack (I guess that is no surprise to readers of Random Thoughts).

We talked naturally as if we knew each other for years. Well, I guess we have -- Jack started blogging in May 2004 and Toner Mishap burst onto the scene in October 2004. While we had not met previously, we did exchange e-mails and a couple of hair-raising stories.

Jack certainly is more of a misanthrope than he lets on, but by William Hazlitt’s definition. "To think ill of mankind and not wish ill to them, is perhaps the highest wisdom and virtue." And, anyone with half a brain realizes that society, as a whole needs help. I am more than a decade older than Jack, but he seems to know well there is a burden that comes with wisdom.
We talked for nearly two hours that went by very quickly (at least for me and I didn't notice any obvious signs of distress from Jack). It was a nice evening and I do hope we can do it again soon.

I have now met the bloggers of Bitch Ph.D, Sporks for All, Neurotranscendence, and Through the Looking Glass. I have been very impressed by the talent and intelligence of each and everyone of these bloggers.

The Perfect Interview

Dear readers, not all of you will be as fortunate as Jack and the other bloggers that have met me, but you can get a feeling for what Jack and the others endured by watching this interview. Fortunately, I did not make them laugh.



Thank you The Ethical Exhibitionist for posting this. It is laugh out loud funny.