Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Why My In-laws Should Not Have a Toilet

This photo is real and undoctored, taken in my in-laws' house. And my in-laws are two adults, and they live by themselves.

Is this marker-written notice really necessary? Apparently, yes. Because this is how I found the toilet -- seat up and "instructions" exposed for all to see.

There is an explanation (and I know you're all dying to read it). Apparently the in-laws' new puppy has taken to drinking from the toilet in my father-in-law's bathroom (my mother-in-law is very protective of her bathroom, and so my father-in-law walks out of their bedroom, down the hallway, and into his own tiny bathroom instead of using the one in their suite).

At first my mother-in-law was campaigning for my father-in-law to close his bathroom door to prevent such unauthorized drinking -- this was, you'll have to pardon the term, a wash-out. So her new tack is the note you see scrawled across the toilet seat. And, as mentioned above, it's not working. Of course, when you are so far gone as to be unable to handle the technology of a toilet seat without additional written instructions, is it any surprise that those instructions would go unheeded?


Pirate said...

That's absolutely hilarious. It just goes to prove my point that the world is an absolutely insane place (do your inlaws have access to your blog?).

My take on toilets is as follows:

1. They have seats, which means everything can be "done" sitting on the toilet, not standing in front of it.

2. Toilets and the area around them are havens of bacteria and germs, alleviated somewhat by the sensible adoption of point (1) above.

3. They have lids. If God hadn't meant for us to close toilets, they wouldn't have come with lids.

4. A toilet is a yucky and unnecessary reminder of some of the less, shall we say, "finer" aspects of everyday living. Do we really need the lid (perish the thought, also even the seat) up to make this reminder more obvious, more "in your face"?

Anonymous said...

You are lucky that yesterdays blog indicates that my parents will never find your blog. If I did not know how much you actually like them, I might be annoyed at how much you are teasing my folks.

While the toilet sign is a bit odd, it is way overdue in my parents house, I remember being a child and getting up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and falling into the toilet because the seat was up. One would think that living with 3 girls that my dad would have learned by now to put the seat down. Thankfully, in all our years of marriage, I don't think you have ever left the seat up.

BTW, B2, I think we blogged more than actual conversation yesterday.

robot said...

i followed you from rick's post...and i just HAVE to comment...
this is about the funniest thing i've seen in weeks. it made made me laugh.
and i couldn't help but notice how shiney clean the toilet was.
it would have been gross if it had not been the case...:)

B2 said...

Rick? Who's Rick?

Jack Steiner said...

Very funny.

Chandira said...

I have to say, I sympathise w the in-laws here.. I have a cat that would happily do this given the chance.. A CAT, for God's sake. A dog I could believe, but his is far beneath her dignity to allow..

Chandira said...

PS, and after 2 weeks of my mum visiting, I'm just glad Robert doesn't blog.. But I will be posting pics in a few days.. You have been warned. ;-)