Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out.
Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592), essayist
Jazz. I made a last-minute decision to go see Frank Morgan at Catalina’s Saturday night. I am anticipating a good show. The members of the band backing Morgan are trombonist Delfeayo Marsalis, drummer Jason Marsalis, bassist John Clayton and pianist Gerald Clayton.
Finished. It only took two months of Sundays to finish “Saturday” by Ian McEwan. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I am just a slow reader and it’s difficult to make much progress reading one or two pages before falling asleep. I found the book to be very poignant and I loved the ending pages.
Currently Reading. On my nightstand now is “The Light of the Day” by Graham Swift. This is how bad my memory is getting. I apparently had started reading it, but when wife makes the bed, she kicks the book under the bed, not so hard if she sees it, she kicks it real hard if she didn’t see it and the corner of the book jabs into the arch of her foot. Anyway, while cleaning under the bed, I found the book and when I finished “Saturday” I started reading it again. A few pages into I realized that I have read this before, but I am certain that I didn’t finish it. I must have been attempting to read two books and got into the other and completely forgot about Swift’s book.
New CDs. Dave Matthews Band’s new CD “Stand Up” is rather good. It took me a few listenings to really get into it. They have a jazzy rock feel to their songs. Also, purchased Lucinda Williams new live CD “Live at the Fillmore.” She very much reminds me of a female Neil Young.
The End. The wife and I have decided to call it quits. It was not an easy decision and it was made after much deliberation. We have known for years that we didn’t have much in common, she is honest and sincere and I am a decent chap (with a personality somewhere between Becker and Larry David). While those qualities are important, alone they are not enough. Like all the Hollywood break ups where the statement issued says they will remain friends, which everyone knows is a bunch of crap. We will remain friends. There is no reason not to.
5 comments:
I didn't expect a post about "the lighter side" to include such heavy stuff. And you wanted to hear details about the breakup with my boyfriend? It's all kid stuff compared to a marriage.:( How long were you guys married?
I thought I would drop the announcement in at the bottom and people would skim over it. More than anything we feel sad. But, on an intellectual level, we know it is right. There is no animosity, no arguing we simply don't connect beyond caring for each other, so we would be better friends. There is not much we agree on from religion, animals, to how we want our lives to end. I would want the plug pulled and she would want everything plugged in. The answer to your question is seven years today. Also, the paragraph in post was approved as is this response.
Ah, yes...I hear you re. ending a relationship that worked as a friendship but not as a marriage. I wish you the best as you start over: believe me, the other side's not a bad place to be.
Wow. Yes, To drop it in the 'lighter side' had quite an impact...
Well, I'm glad you're both clear about it. Nothing more painful than when one of you doesn't want to let it go.
FYI, my parents got divorced about 17 years ago, and though it was painful for my mum, it was the best thing, and even after all the crap they went through (theirs wans't an easy divorce!!) they are really good friends now, and have been all the while. They still 'date' as friends, even though both have had other partners since. You won't lose the caring, the love, the friendship, if you don't want to. They're both coming over together to see me in a few months. :-)
I wish you guys all the best.
M,
Sorry to hear about this but hope that it works for the best for you.
Post a Comment