Tuesday, May 10, 2005

On The Mark -- Sleep in Peace

I’m not afraid to admit it. Married or living together, sleeping together is silly, unproductive, and probably takes years off of your life. I have a couple uncles who have done it right. They sleep in separate beds from their wives, but then they have a “love” room with a nice king-sized bed that they use when the urge strikes. I’m sure they’ve wound up together in the morning once in a while.

One cannot get a good night’s rest while another is occupying your bed. It’s as simple as that. The incessant snoring. The tossing and turning. Talking in your sleep. Getting up to go to the bathroom. The accidental elbow in the ribs, or the kick to the thigh. Coughing. Sneezing. Moaning (for the wrong reasons). That tension that hangs over you heavier than a blanket when you’re not getting along so well. And, if you’ve had baked beans for dinner…well, we all know what that’s all about.

Other than making love, give me one good reason why two people should sleep in the same bed. One.

After sharing the same bed for 12 some years, I’ve been enjoying my solo bed experience for the past 18 months. I’m loving every second of it and I’m sleeping like a rock. When I watch an old episode of Ozzie & Harriet or Luci & Desi, I see that they have their separate beds and it makes me wonder how many of our older generations slept separately as a matter of practice.

One day I’ll get married again, probably. I sure hope she understands. I realize it may be a deal breaker. But I’m afraid, at this stage in my life, that the bed will probably win out.


bitchphd said...

Agreed. God, what I wouldn't give for my own bed...

Anonymous said...

I am glad you wrote this and I am delighted the bitchphd commented, so wife won't think I am out of my mind to want the bed to myself.

Anonymous said...

The above is from The Misanthrope, a new computer is keeping from logging in.

deadpanann said...

I've had some bad nights as the result of trying to share a bed. I think we both had some idea that we were supposed to do that, like it made us a better couple or something. After the new wore off I ended up in the extra bedroom more often.

Did couples actually have separate beds? I think the separate beds thing on tv in the 50's was more a reflection of conservative times (we weren't even allowed to suggest the possibility of a couple being in bed together) than of what was actually going on with real couples, but maybe I'm wrong.

bitchphd said...

Well, my grandparents had separate beds. And they were very affectionate, the grandparents, not the beds I mean.

Josh said...

When my grandparents finally got separate beds, due to health reasons, it seemed so sad and final. That seemed like the actual end of their time together on earth.

Oh, you silly pragmatists. Where are all the Romantics, damnit, (yes, with a capital R) who just want to cuddle, to have someone to torment with your cold feet, to steal the covers from?

On The Mark said...

Deadpanann - You're right about television in the '50s, but I also wonder if it wasn't an accurate depiction.

bitchphd -- Your grandparents were probably affectionate BECAUSE they had separate beds.

Josh -- I used to be a Romantic, what a mistake that was! I read too many books as a kid, I think.

Anonymous (Misanthrope) -- I hope Wife doesn't think you put me up to writing this!

Chandira said...

Me, I'm a snuggler, I love body heat. I love sleeping with Robert, I get cold otherwise.
He's the opposite, he likes to sleep alone, so we compromise, half the week together, half apart. It works. I get the cat also, so I don't get too cold..

Attila said...

Josh, I'm guess I'm the romantic here. Double or nothing is how we sleep.

Anonymous said...

I'm exactly the same. Even a queen size bed is too small. If I ever get married again, it's 3 options:
1. 2 double beds in the same room.
2. A custom made bed that is the size of 2 doubles stuck together
3. Seperate bedrooms if she's a snorer. Romance aside - if you're not getting decent sleep, you're gonna be a reall SOB to live with!