Stranger Danger

One of the difficulties my wife and I face raising children in the twenty-first century is balancing the instruction of a traditional sense of manners with a healthy awareness of the realities of our world. So here are, inasmuch as I can enumerate them, some of the rules my wife and I teach our three daughters about interacting with other humans (for information on how they relate to poodles, gibbons, and rabbits, stay tuned; I may cover that eventually).

1. Don't talk to strangers.

2. You may talk to people you don't know if Mommy and Daddy tell you it's OK first.

3. It's OK for you to talk to other children playing at the park.

4. The parents of your friends are not strangers, and you should respond politely to their greetings when we take you to a friend's house for a party, and if we leave you there then you can and should talk to those parents if you need anything. But not if they just approach you at school. Unless it's just to say "hi" -- then it's OK. But if they're especially weird or asking you to do anything that seems wrong, tell Mommy and Daddy immediately.

5. The cashier and bagboy at the grocery store are strangers, even if you recognize them from last time, and you should always ask Mommy or Daddy before engaging them in conversation. That said, you can acknowledge their greetings with "hello" if you see Mommy or Daddy already talking to them. And when they say, as they always do, that you are all so pretty, you should say "thank you."

6. But they are strangers again when you're not at the grocery store. Really.

7. The doctor is not a stranger, and when Mommy and Daddy take you to an appointment you can talk to her and do what she says, because Mommy and Daddy are right there making sure everything is OK.

8. Relatives are not strangers, but that doesn't give them the right to manhandle you -- you should always be polite to family, but you don't have to kiss and hug if you don't want to. Your body is your own, and you can always tell Mommy and Daddy if someone is making you uncomfortable.

9. Mommy and Daddy reserve the right to hug and kiss you whenever we want.

On The Mark -- Hypocrisy Decade: Defining Family Values

I saw this quote

"That's unconscionable...I believe in family values"

recently by Jim Stellings, Seminole County (Florida) Republican Party Chairman and thought it perfectly defines everything about the Republican Party and how its representatives seem to think they're above everyone else regarding morals and ethics. It's easy to think that way when you keep re-defining what is right and wrong to suit your needs.

Stellings filed a defamation suit against a political rival who Stellings says falsely accused him of having been married six times. He made this comment while testifying in the suit (the fact that it even went to court is certainly worthy of a good rant).

He actually has only been married five times...

There's no man in town half as manly.

Gaston gets a bad rap. For some reason, Disney considers him one of their line-up of villains, but he's really just misunderstood -- all he wants is to woo and win the lovely Belle, and help her senile father get the help he needs.

That said, Belle's preference for the Beast over Gaston is an interesting one, for they share many of the same characteristics -- and those qualities that Gaston is proud of, the Beast has in spades. Here's an excerpt from Gaston's song:

Girls: For there's no one as burly and brawny.
Gaston: As you see, I've got biceps to spare.
LeFou: Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny.
Gaston: And ev'ry last inch of me's covered with hair!

So let's see: burly, brawny, muscly, and hairy -- all of those qualities that we laugh at Gaston for, the Beast has in much greater proportion.

Is the lesson for Gaston that he is not rough or brutish enough? Not hairy enough? He means well, but doesn't always do the right thing -- he needs some tender, loving guidance. That's exactly the same story as the Beast -- except the Beast holds Belle against her will in his castle.

So what's up with Belle? Does she secretly like Gaston, but seeks out someone even more potentially dangerous and brutish? And does she miss the Beast when he becomes a prince again?

Clearly, Belle has some sort of a "bad boy" complex, and Gaston just wasn't bad enough for her.

Making Michael Jackson Normal

As soon as he ceased to be mad he became merely stupid. There are maladies we must not seek to cure because they alone protect us from others that are more serious.
Marcel Proust (1871 - 1922), novelist

A friend, who I shall refer to as Scribe, henceforth, called me yesterday morning telling me that only one person could make Michael Jackson look normal, pedophile issues aside. That would be the man who is known for creating the wall of sound – Phil Spector.

Spector made his name by raising pop music’s sound through overdubbing scores of musicians to create a massive roar. He produced the Beatles “Let it Be” album, the Righteous Bros, and Ike and Tina Turner, among many others. Today he is mentally gone, if here were ever here, so it seems to me. Unfortunately, there is not a picture of Spector on the Los Angeles Times link, but here is how the reporter described him:

…he strode through the criminal court building in downtown Los Angeles in high-heeled platform boots, his hair teased into a puffy blond Afro, with curls extending several inches beyond his head.

I have always heard stories about Spector carry a gun into the recording studio back in the days when rocks stars were interested in his producer talent. The other day, the judge in Spector’s trial ruled that four women could testify that Spector had threatened them with guns more than 15 years ago. Spector’s modus operandi was to threaten the women if they spurned his advances. Looking as he does in the newspaper, the only woman who would be interested in him today would be Ms. Bozo, but she probably would have more dignity than to be seen with such a nut job.

I am not sure that this blog is anonymous enough to critize Spector's attorney considering that his attorney is Bruce Cutler, who used to represent Mafia Kingpin John Gotti. Cutler endeared himself by calling the women sycophants and parasites. Clearly, they were not if they refused Spector and his gun.

On The Mark -- Keep Fighting, Al

Say what you will about Al Sharpton, but I have to give him credit for seeing through the smoke regarding Mexico’s President Vicente Fox. If you’ve been following the story (and/or my posts), you’ve seen that Fox clearly made a very disparaging remark about African-Americans a couple weeks ago. He refused to apologize for the remark.

Then Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton jumped into the picture and demanded an apology. Fox finally offered a weak response, but it wasn’t an apology, rather a “regret” he had said anything that might have hurt some feelings. Although the media, such as Associated Press, published headlines stating Fox had apologized, he hadn’t, which I pointed out previously.

Yet, Jackson was satisfied and went on his merry way, probably knowing he had gained good PR points because of the inaccurate reporting by the media (of an apology that wasn’t) and calculating the story didn't have any legs.

Sharpton, on the other hand, said I’m afraid that’s not good enough, and demanded another meeting with Fox, which just occurred. Fox stood his ground saying his comments were misinterpreted (which they weren’t; he meant exactly how those offended read his comments). Reuters quoted Sharpton as saying:

"There was no misinterpretation. It is very clear what he said and it is very clear that we understood what he said," Sharpton told reporters.

"If I step on your toe, I should apologize. I should not say that I regret that you think your foot hurts," Sharpton said.

I never thought I would say this, but I actually agree with Sharpton on something.

Super Mario's Pick-up Lines

"Are you a magic feather? Because my heart just grew a tail, and flew away."

"If you were a warp tube, I'd be in you all day."

"Are you a magic mushroom? Because you are making me grow."

"Are you a magic flower? Because you are burning me up."

"I'd rather ride you than Yoshi any day."

"If Princess Toad looked liked you, I would have killed Bowser years ago."

"If I had the choice, I would gladly spend my 100 coins on you instead of on an extra life."

"You don't have to turn on a game to play with me."

"They don't call me Super for nothing."

By Christopher Doody, for McSweeney's

On The Mark -- "Outright Lies"

A few weeks ago I wrote about Pat Tillman, the professional football player who gave up a multi-million dollar contract to fight the war on terrorism in Afghanistan. He was killed in Afghanistan, and the Bush Administration milked his death for all it was worth to build patriotism in America. This was all happening, by the way, while the Abu Ghraib torture scandal was unfolding. It was also happening while all along the Pentagon and White House knew that Tillman had died by friendly fire, but that was news the government didn’t want to get out because it would ruin the PR plan, including a nationally televised burial and other actions, such as Bush giving a special tribute via tape to Arizona Cardinal football fans prior to the presidential election.

I wrote about how the government knew he had died by friendly fire weeks in advance of telling his family and the public, and when this information was finally released it was buried deep in newspapers, if reported at all.

Fortunately, Tillman’s parents have spoken out. And it isn’t pretty. Here are some excerpts about this disgusting news (as reported by Josh White of the Washington Post):

Former NFL player Pat Tillman's family is lashing out against the Army, saying that the military's investigations into Tillman's friendly-fire death in Afghanistan last year were a sham and that Army efforts to cover up the truth have made it harder for them to deal with their loss.

More than a year after their son was shot several times by his fellow Army Rangers on a craggy hillside near the Pakistani border, Tillman's mother and father said in interviews that they believe the military and the government created a heroic tale about how their son died to foster a patriotic response across the country. They say the Army's "lies" about what happened have made them suspicious, and that they are certain they will never get the full story.

"Pat had high ideals about the country; that's why he did what he did," Mary Tillman said in her first lengthy interview since her son's death. "The military let him down. The administration let him down. It was a sign of disrespect. The fact that he was the ultimate team player and he watched his own men kill him is absolutely heartbreaking and tragic. The fact that they lied about it afterward is disgusting."

Immediately, the Army kept the soldiers on the ground quiet and told Tillman's family and the public that he was killed by enemy fire while storming a hill, barking orders to his fellow Rangers. After a public memorial service, at which Tillman received the Silver Star, the Army told Tillman's family what had really happened, that he had been killed by his own men.

Patrick Tillman Sr., a San Jose lawyer, said he is furious about what he found in the volumes of witness statements and investigative documents the Army has given to the family. He decried what he calls a "botched homicide investigation" and blames high-ranking Army officers for presenting "outright lies" to the family and to the public.

"After it happened, all the people in positions of authority went out of their way to script this," Patrick Tillman said. "They purposely interfered with the investigation, they covered it up. I think they thought they could control it, and they realized that their recruiting efforts were going to go to hell in a handbasket if the truth about his death got out. They blew up their poster boy."

That their son was famous opened up the situation to problems, the Tillmans say, in part because of the devastating public relations loss his death represented for the military. Mary Tillman says the government used her son for weeks after his death, perpetuating an untrue story to capitalize on his altruism -- just as the Abu Ghraib prison scandal was erupting publicly.

She said she was particularly offended when President Bush offered a taped memorial message to Tillman at a Cardinals football game shortly before the presidential election last fall. She again felt as though her son was being used, something he never would have wanted.

World’s First Famous Streaker has Papers Uncovered

The simplest schoolboy is now familiar with facts for which Archimedes would have sacrificed his life.
Ernest Renan (1823 - 1892), philosopher, philologist and historian

Here is a little tidbit to kick off the week Drudge Report style: The world’s first well-known streaker, Archimedes, who according to the Los Angeles Times, best known for running naked dripping wet from his bathtub through the streets of Syracuse shouting “Eureka!” after discovering the principle of water displacement in his bathtub; I am guessing it was a Saturday night.

On the more serious side, according to the article, scientists are using the powerful X-ray light emitted by the synchrotron at the Stanford Linear Accelerator Center to read hidden text on a 1,000-year-old copy of the Archimedes palimpsest, a mathematical and engineering text written by the Italian philosopher in the 3rd century BC.

In case you had forgotten, Microsoft’s Encarta Reference Library provides the following:

In mechanics, Archimedes defined the principle of the lever and is credited with inventing the compound pulley. During his stay in Egypt he invented the hydraulic screw for raising water from a lower to a higher level. He is best known for discovering the law of hydrostatics, often called Archimedes' principle, which states that a body immersed in fluid loses weight equal to the weight of the amount of fluid it displaces. This discovery is said to have been made as Archimedes stepped into his bath and perceived the displaced water overflowing.

The Misanthrope – Sunday’s Lighter Side

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside equally desperate to get out.
Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592), essayist

Jazz. I made a last-minute decision to go see Frank Morgan at Catalina’s Saturday night. I am anticipating a good show. The members of the band backing Morgan are trombonist Delfeayo Marsalis, drummer Jason Marsalis, bassist John Clayton and pianist Gerald Clayton.

Finished. It only took two months of Sundays to finish “Saturday” by Ian McEwan. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I am just a slow reader and it’s difficult to make much progress reading one or two pages before falling asleep. I found the book to be very poignant and I loved the ending pages.

Currently Reading. On my nightstand now is “The Light of the Day” by Graham Swift. This is how bad my memory is getting. I apparently had started reading it, but when wife makes the bed, she kicks the book under the bed, not so hard if she sees it, she kicks it real hard if she didn’t see it and the corner of the book jabs into the arch of her foot. Anyway, while cleaning under the bed, I found the book and when I finished “Saturday” I started reading it again. A few pages into I realized that I have read this before, but I am certain that I didn’t finish it. I must have been attempting to read two books and got into the other and completely forgot about Swift’s book.

New CDs. Dave Matthews Band’s new CD “Stand Up” is rather good. It took me a few listenings to really get into it. They have a jazzy rock feel to their songs. Also, purchased Lucinda Williams new live CD “Live at the Fillmore.” She very much reminds me of a female Neil Young.

The End. The wife and I have decided to call it quits. It was not an easy decision and it was made after much deliberation. We have known for years that we didn’t have much in common, she is honest and sincere and I am a decent chap (with a personality somewhere between Becker and Larry David). While those qualities are important, alone they are not enough. Like all the Hollywood break ups where the statement issued says they will remain friends, which everyone knows is a bunch of crap. We will remain friends. There is no reason not to.

Harper Lee on Success

In the Saturday edition of the Los Angeles Times, the author of To Kill a Mockingbird was quoted on the topic of the success of her first and only novel:

I never expected any sort of success with Mockingbird... I was hoping for a quick death at the hands of the reviewers but, at the same time, I sort of hoped someone would like it enough to give me encouragement. Public encouragement. I hoped for a little, as I said, but I got rather a whole lot, and in some ways this was just about as frightening as the quick, merciful death I'd expected.

A Smart Search Engine That Isn't So Smart

Meatus?

Ran over to Kaiser to get my wife's script filled (she has some sort of bug and is on antibiotics and other stuff), and I stopped in the bathroom next to the labs.

On the wall is posted a flyer with specific, detailed instructions on how to properly wash your penis before giving a urine sample for inspection. Included in those directions is the phrase "urethral meatus." Here's my problem with it: if you need instructions on how to wash your penis, will you comprehend the phrase "urethral meatus"?

My guess: they wind up with more than a few tainted samples at this particular Kaiser.

On The Mark -- Hypocrisy Decade: Saddam's Underwear

The White House and the Pentagon have aggressively accused Newsweek of causing riots and deaths in Muslim nations, as well as damaging the reputation of the U.S. overseas, because of the column brief (since retracted) accusing the U.S. military of desecrating the Koran (which the Red Cross and other organizations will probably soon prove to be true since they've filed complaints in the past).

When photos of Saddam Hussein in his underwear while in captivity appear in a British tabloid today-- from what I understand a violation of Geneva Convention rules -- President Bush is asked if he thinks this will incite riots and further damage the U.S.'s reputation.

He responds that he doesn't think a photo would make Muslims kill and riot, that it's an ideology that makes them do it. "I don't think a photo inspires murders," Bush replied. He said Iraq's insurgents are "inspired by an ideology that is so barbaric and backwards that it's hard for many in the Western world to comprehend how they think."

Huh? Can this hypocrisy get any more blatant?

Sooo Tired

Life is one long process of getting tired.
Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902), writer, painter, and musician

This is one of those days when I don’t have enough energy to get outraged.

Democratic Leader Harry Reid and Senate Leader Bill Frist are arguing like school kids trying to get a fickle public opinion behind them and today I am going to listen to music do some household chores and read.

I am doing my best to ignore President Bush, who only cares about the wealthy. I am not going to write about how the banks are killing their customers with onerous interest rates and penalties.

I am taking a day to forget, not permanently, as they (politicians and businesses) want you to. They count on consumer stupidity; so far, we have not let them down.

Finally Friday

He who laughs on Friday will cry on Sunday.
Jean Baptiste Racine (1639 - 1699), playwright

We have Manic Monday, which B2 wrote about here. But, I’ve listed a few items about Friday. In history, there have been a number of events known as Black Friday (what do you expect from The Misanthrope something happy?):

• Black Friday (1869) - a stock market crash in the United States
• Black Friday (1919) - a riot in Glasgow stemming from industrial unrest
• Black Friday (1939) - a day of devastating fires in Australia
• Black Friday (1978) - a massacre of protesters in Iran
• Black Friday (shopping) - the day after American Thanksgiving, one of the busiest shopping days of the year.
• Bloody Friday (July 21, 1972) – a day when more than 22 bombs planted by the Irish Republican Army (IRA) in and around Belfast, Ireland resulted in nine deaths and 130 seriously injured.
• Casual Friday – a day of dressing in jeans.
• Freaky Friday -- the name of three different movies with similar plots made by the Walt Disney Company where a teenage girl and her mother switch bodies and learn to understand each other better.
• TGIF – this is occurs on most Fridays unless one has to work on Saturday or has the misfortune to encounter a Black Friday.
  

On The Mark -- Keeping It Flowing

I was at an event last weekend with a group of people and one of the activities was a 4-mile roundtrip hike. It was a hot day, with no shade, and the hike was steep, from sea level to a mountaintop.

Two people passed out from dehydration and had to be taken by ambulance to a hospital. The camp was remotely located with a one-lane road leading up to the top. When emergency crews were called, several different responders arrived to assist the fallen, probably because nobody really knew how to get to our location and they most likely just wanted to make sure someone got there.

When the fire team arrived, I asked them what they thought about the new study that said drinking too much water is dangerous (as I previously posted about). “Hogwash,” they said. “You can never drink too much water.”

When the ambulance team arrived, I asked them the same question. “Don’t believe any of it,” they all agreed, wondering what was really behind the study.

When the doctor arrived, I again asked him the same question. “Most idiotic research finding I’ve ever heard of,” he said without hesitation.

So there you have it from three independent medical provider groups. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to keep the water flowing. I know I drank a lot of it during the hike and I felt great at the end of it.

What They're Saying About The Jews

"The Jews are the cancer spreading all over the world... the Jews are a virus like AIDS hitting humankind... Jews are responsible for all wars and conflicts.... Do not ask what Germany did to the Jews but what the Jews did to Germany. True, the Germans killed and burned Jews but the Jews exaggerate the numbers to gain propaganda advantages and sympathy…"
Sheikh Ibrahim Mudairis, May 13, 2005, Gaza

The Simon Wiesenthal Center has called on Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas to dismiss the head of Palestinian Television over the airing of a live sermon from a Gaza Mosque delivered by Sheikh Ibrahim Mudairis which was filled with antisemitic attacks and denials of the Holocaust.

During the sermon, in the presence of uniformed Palestinian Authority police, the Sheik also asserted that God has predetermined that the Jewish problem will be solved with the extermination of the Jews, and that God has also predetermined that Christian-Islam interactions will end with today's Christian countries under Islam.

[Source]

Search Words

Truthful words are not beautiful; beautiful words are not truthful. Good words are not persuasive; persuasive words are not good.
Lao-Tzu (6th century BC), Chinese philosopher

The following are key search words used to find Toner Mishap. I have not added one word, I just arranged them into a freestyle poetry format. Hope you enjoy.

White hair toner money hands keyboards germs bacteria shaking
Supermarket camel fuckers kissing butt
Magic bullet express quarterback fucks
Infinite being
Chewbacca, what a wookie supernova
Oh no not you again
Chewie mp3
Oh no not you again school
Supernova chewbacca
Rolling Stones oh no not you again
Chewbacca mp3
Deep in throat ogre women
Was chewbacca a woman

Nar Wars

Episode III premieres in the States this weekend, and so in honor of that... (OK, I was going to post this anyway)... here's what some Star Wars characters would be named if they were Jewish.



Han Schlomo (are those tzitzit we see up there?!?)
Princess Leah
Jewbacca
Lou Skywalker
Yona
Obi-Wan Bar-Kokhba
Bubbe Fett

Deploy Police Where it Matters Most

A state trooper pulled up alongside me at a traffic light and began looking me over with that sort of casual disdain you often get when you give a dangerously stupid person a gun and a squad car.
Bill Bryson, writer

I have noticed a troubling trend among police officers lately. Every time I see an officer in a patrol car, he or she is yakking on their cell phone. This makes me nervous because they are supposed to be observing things around them. Talking on the phone is a major distraction and police officers should not be allowed to make personal calls unless they are on a break.

One officer who does not use his cell phone is the angry bonehead that sits on his motorcycle in front of our downtown office building lying in wait for notorious jaywalkers. What if the jaywalker kept on walking after the officer signaled for the errant pedestrian to come forth? Would a chase ensue similar to an O. J. Simpson freeway escapade? If this traffic light avoiding scofflaw had a backpack would the police be afraid it was filled with explosives and fire 120 rounds to eventually stop this person, all because the traffic lanes were clear and rather than wait senselessly and needlessly for the light to change simply strolled across the street.

I am too lazy to look up the statistics on homicides, rapes, gang violence and other crime in Los Angeles, but we all know the figures (even thought they are reportedly down) are too high. Why would limited resources be spent writing jaywalking tickets, other than for revenue? If it is money they are after, there are more than enough speeders to go after. And, no, I have not received such a citation, but a colleague did last year and it cost him $120.00.

On The Mark -- A Father's Day Gift Idea -- Two Tubes and a Little DNA

We all know how difficult it is to buy a Father’s Day gift for the person who has everything. Finding something different and unique is nearly impossible, unless you want to spend thousands of dollars.

In Germany, one company has come up with a unique gift, and you can get it for pennies. Biotix, a laboratory that specializes in DNA testing, is offering to conduct paternity tests (normally $625) for any father in Germany if he suspects his wife was messing around and he wants to know if the child is really his. The father takes a swab of saliva from his mouth and swab from his kid, puts them in separate tubes, and mails them off to the lab. Within days, the lab sends back the results with 99.9% accuracy. According to the Chicago Tribune, last year 15,000-20,000 paternity tests were conducted in Germany and 1 in 5 came back indicating that someone else had fathered the child.

What a Father’s Day present that would be, huh? Those are pretty amazing statistics.

What is a publicity stunt has now turned into a public fight in Germany with proposed legislation that fathers cannot have these tests done in secrecy – that the mother/wife must provide consent. I think this proposed legislation is hogwash, but at the same time it would probably save the guy a lot of money. Imagine the scenario if the law is passed. The legislators believe that secret paternity tests would tear apart the family. So when the husband says, “Honey, I want to get a DNA test done on little Isabel,” how can anything good come from it.

That phrase alone would tear apart the family, whether the wife is innocent or not. If she says “OK” then he’ll probably not feel a need to spend the money, but his wife will then probably start looking because she’ll be pissed. If she puts up a fight, even if she’s innocent, she’ll look guilty. Whereas, if the father has the test done in secret, and it comes back OK, then nobody knows and nobody gets hurt. Right?

Incredible but Disgusting

The French sure know how to make compelling safe sex ads. That said, do not click this link unless you are very brave. And, depending on your workplace, this may be NSFW. [Thanks, Sam!]

Republicans Ready to Nuke Senate Rules -- Duck and Cover

Unless Americans [Republicans] come to realize that they are not stronger in the world [senate] because they have the bomb but weaker because of their vulnerability to atomic attack, they are not likely to conduct their policy at Lake Success or in their relations with Russia [Democrats] in a spirit that furthers the arrival at an understanding..
Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955), physicist, from an open letter*

In the above quote, substitute a few word and you have a quote that is just as poignant today. Pressing their advantage the Republicans are about to exercise the much threaten and talked about nuclear option, which means the Republicans in the senate will vote out the long held filibuster option in order to get a majority vote on the conservative judges President George Bush wants to appoint.

This has been simmering for weeks and is scheduled to start today once Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-Tenn) puts forth two judicial nominees, Janice Rogers Brown of California and Priscilla Owen of Texas. Democrats have vowed to filibuster both to prevent their confirmation.


The Republican action has been dubbed the nuclear action because of its potential to disrupt the Senate and shatter what little comity remains between Republicans and Democrats, according to the Washington Post.

The Republicans can take such brazen action because they hold a majority of the seats currently. This is all about appointing conservative judges that Bush will not compromise on or allow debate about. Never mind that more judges were blocked during President Bill Clinton’s terms in office because the Republicans used their committee powers to stop the judges from getting a fair hearing.

What I find interesting is Majority Leader Bill Frist’s (R-Tenn.) double speak:

"Republicans believe in the regular order of fair up and down votes and letting the Senate decide yes or no on judicial confirmations free from procedural gimmicks like the filibuster," he said, "and I hope Senator Reid and others know our door is always open to reasonable proposals for fair up or down votes for judicial nominees."

When did the filibuster become a procedural gimmick? Frist’s open door policy means – when you are ready to agree to our terms we’ll talk.

In one way, I am looking forward to the Republicans pulling this stunt because the public opinion thus far is against the Republicans using this option. I fully expect the Democrats to gain a few more seats in the next election and eventually the presidency in 2008 and then watch the Republicans squeal like stuck pigs when they are shut out.



*(Following its establishment in 1945 the United Nations General Assembly met temporarily in Lake Success, New York State, pending the setting up of a permanent headquarters.)

Must-Flee TV

NBC is hoping to pick itself up by its bootstraps with some fun new comedy this fall -- Martha Stewart picking a protege [tentatively scheduled to be played by Jerry Seinfeld] and singer Amy Grant making wishes come true [like, "I wish Friends were back on"].

Good news for my wife, though, who crushes on Jason Lee (Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Mumford, Stealing Harvard) -- NBC is premiering "My Name is Earl," featuring Lee as a downtrodden lottery winner.

[Source]

On The Mark -- A President's Regret

So Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton jump into the act regarding the comment Mexico’s President Fox said last Friday, “There’s no doubt that the Mexican men and women – full of dignity, willpower and a capacity for work – are doing the work that not even blacks want to do in the United States.” So, according to Associated Press, President Fox last night says to Jackson and Sharpton on the phone that he “regrets” he made the comment, after a full day of refusing to retract what he said. Here’s the official statement:

"The president regretted any hurt feelings his statements may have caused," the Foreign Relations Department said in a press statement. "He expressed the great respect he and his administration has for the African-American community in the United States."

OK, there’s all kinds of nuances going on here. First, notice that Fox didn’t apologize for what he said. It’s a regret that he got people agitated about what he said. Clearly, he still stands behind his statement. He realizes that most people will read it as an apology because they don’t really pay attention (including the media -- a regret does not automatically translate into an apology: AP's headline is "Mexico's Fox Apologizes for Black Comment." NO, he didn't apologize). But his constituency will know what he is saying, and that's all that matters to him. I would say what he regrets are the phone calls and pressure he was receiving from Jackson and Sharpton. I’m sure he realized it wasn’t going to go away until he said “something.”

Now some may call Jackson and Sharpton publicity hounds, and they may be right, but at the same time someone had to take Fox to task. The fact that Jackson and Sharpton accepted this lame response probably proves they were out only for the publicity (I’m surprised Maxine Water didn’t jump into this).

Some think Fox insulted the United States. Some believe that Bush should have called on Fox to apologize. I disagree on both counts. Fox insulted an entire race, and it had nothing to do with the United States. But what he said throws more fuel on the long burning fire between Latinos and African-Americans in the States.

Stick Your Wand Where the Sun Don’t Shine Mr. President

What's the need of working if it doesn't get you anywhere? What's the use of boring around in the same hole like a worm? Making the hole bigger to stay in?
Marita Bonner (1899 - 1971), short-story writer and essayist.

There are many reasons why I intensely dislike President George Bush. However, number one is his arrogance and condescending attitude toward the working class.

"Americans are concerned about high prices at the pump and they're really concerned as they start making their travel plans, and I understand that," the president said. "I wish I could just wave a magic wand and lower the price at the pump. I'd do that. But that's not how it works."

His latest comment about gas prices makes me wish I had a magic wand that would make him have to work for a living.

He has done nothing to help us unless it helps the rich more. I would thoroughly enjoy watching him try to get by on the salary of the average worker, pay for high prices for minimal health care, or see his Social Security reduced and delayed, or have his child sent to an unnecessary war. Then he would see had it really works

On The Mark -- "Doing the Work that Not Even Blacks Want to Do"

Gang warfare in Los Angeles is about as expected each day as the rise and fall of the sun. Lately, it’s become intense among Latinos and African-American kids in middle schools and high schools. There were some near riots at some schools and last week many students stayed home from a Santa Monica high school one day because the rumors were rampant that the “Blacks and Latinos were going to settle the score” that day.

A few weeks ago a Latino gang raided a party near my home, a usually very quiet neighborhood, and guns were blasting as they tried to hunt down an African-American kid on their hit list. A car with its windows shot out sat in the middle of the street.

It’s maddening, really. Not because it came near to me one evening. It’s maddening because there doesn’t seem to be an answer, and kids at younger ages are getting swept up into it.

I know it’s more than this, but a big part of the problem starts in the home and among government leaders and role models. And that brings me to the point of this post. On Friday Mexico’s President Vicente Fox described the Mexican work ethic to that of African-Americans while speaking at the Texas-Mexico Frozen Food Council meeting. Here’s what he said:

“There’s no doubt that the Mexican men and women – full of dignity, willpower and a capacity for work – are doing the work that not even blacks want to do in the United States.”

Unbelievable, don’t you think?

Yogurt

Driving in to work the other day, I found myself stopped at a red light, looking at the drivers in the adjacent cars. On my right was a man in a business suit, eating out of a yogurt container with a small plastic spoon.

I was raised in L.A., and have been in Southern California most of my life, so I've seen a lot of driver's seat shenanigans: eating, shaving, reading the newspaper, and so on, but something about this guy just seemed really sad.

How long does it take to eat a little yogurt anyway? Seven minutes? Did he really not have seven minutes to sit at home and eat his yogurt comfortably? You miss one light in this city and you're seven minutes behind schedule anyway.

We have become a culture that doesn't not have the time to do things; we choose to conflate every activity into one timeframe just because we can. Why eat yogurt and then drive, when you can do both at the same time? That's more productive, right? It's pretty sad that we are moving into a time when work and non-work meld into one -- we have the ability to keep in touch at any time, anywhere, and so we're never out of touch. If you check your voicemail every hour, you're not really on vacation, are you?

The Koran Not Destroyed, But Iraq Attacked

If we live all our lives under lies, it becomes difficult to see anything if it does not have anything to do with these lies.
Imamu Amiri Baraka, author, editor

Here is a case of the pot calling the kettle black. The Pentagon is angry about Newsweek relying on a confidential source, according to the Washington Post. The repercussions from the news weekly’s actions resulted in riots in Afghanistan and Pakistan as well as 15 killed.

Now, correct me if I have this wrong, but didn’t the Pentagon and the White House rely on a completely unreliable source called Curveball to help get the United States involved with invading Iraq under false pretenses?

Also, if the prisoners were not treated inappropriately in Iraq would this little tidbit about allegations of willful Koran desecration have even been reported?

Newsweek apologized yesterday for its inaccurate report on the treatment of detainees that triggered several days of rioting in Afghanistan and other countries in which at least 15 people died.

Neither the president nor the Pentagon has apologized for the more than 1,600 soldiers killed and the thousands wounded.

"That's not what your mother said last night, Trebek."

I missed Saturday night's SNL, hosted by Will Ferrell, as I was busy working on a project that I brought home from the office. The Misanthrope was in the same boat, but I don't believe he cares much about missing the latest installment of Celebrity Jeopardy.

My wife is the one who let me know what I'd missed -- unable to sleep alone, she stayed up while I worked to later regale me with tales of Ferrell, letting me know just what I'd missed while I was slaving away downstairs (apparently Sean Connery was at his dirtiest and, therefore, his best).

Anyone got a link for an MPEG or Quicktime file? I really want to see it (and to store it with every other episode, which I keep on my laptop -- I'm willing to trade!).

Cataclysm

I just keep telling myself that it isn't very important.

All the sent files, the emails, the records... there's nothing there that I can't do without, or recreate, or retrieve from others; it's not a big deal.

And then I beign to realize that I don't even know how bad it is, and I won't until I need something and realize that's one of the things that's gone.

But what are we talking about here, a few nice quotes from satisfied clients? There'll be more. A few emails from my wife that I was treasuring? She'll write me more mash notes in the years to come. Records of my various electronic adventures and foibles? If I don't need it for taxes, it's not a big deal -- and I'll always have my memories, right? Wetware is still superior.

And I have my files, at least. None of my freelance work is trashed -- just the instructions from clients on my live projects. And I have all my photos and movies, family stuff that truly can't be replaced. So it's not all bleakness tonight.

Then why do I feel like finding out if drinking really will make me feel better?

The Misanthrope – Sunday’s Lighter Side

Jazz is an intensified feeling of nonchalance.
Françoise Sagan, French novelist

Late Night Jazz. After a grueling week that still has not ended, I took a break Friday night with On the Mark to catch the late show of the Tierney Sutton Quartet at Catalina’s Bar and Grill. The music was enjoyable and relaxing, just what the doctor ordered. The show started 10:30ish and ended just before midnight.

The quartet consists of Tierney Sutton, Christian Jacob on piano, Trey Henry on bass, and Ray Brinker on drums. Classic jazz standards personalized by an innovative group made such songs as “Old Devil Moon,” “Someday my Prince Will Come,” “Willow Weep for Me,” “Route 66,” and many others. It was a pleasant pause during a hectic month of seemingly non-stop work.

After the show I yielded to temptation and purchased one of her CDs. It was overpriced at the club, but I guess the premium is the charge for instant gratification. I also justified the cost by having her sign the CD. I probably would have passed on the signing, but I was playing a Ray Brown CD the other day and was pleasantly surprised to see that he had autographed it. He passed away couple of years ago, but he was one of the top bass players in the business. I think he was married to Ella Fitzgerald at one time, too.

The Tierney Sutton Quartet seems to be touring frequently; check them out if you get a chance.

I Don’t Want to Grow Up. Daughter called Friday late afternoon to tell me she did not want to grow up. “Daddy, I don’t want to grow up.” I had nothing encouraging to tell her. I doubt many of us did or wanted to for very long. Tom Waits has an excellent song on the subject of growing up. Here is a sampling of the lyrics to the song “I Don’t Want to Grow Up”:

When I see the 5 o'clock news
I don't wanna grow up
Comb their hair and shine their shoes
I don't wanna grow up

Stay around in my old hometown
I don't wanna put no money down
I don't wanna get a big old loan
Work them fingers to the bone
I don't wanna float in a broom
Fall in love, get married then boom
How the hell did it get here so soon

A Few Things I’ve Done, I Won’t Do Again. My twist on the meme going around:

Ride in an old military helicopter
Float in a hot air balloon
Soar in a glider
Go to Disneyland on Christmas Eve (or ever again)
See Brandford Marsalis at a jazz club
Get married
Pass a car on a hill

Ten Things I've Never Done

PoliBlog posted a meme Friday called "Ten Things I've Never Done"; here's my take on it (feel free to add your own list in the comments)...

I've never:

1. been surfing.

2. had a broken bone.

3. taken Communion.

4. seen the movie "Titanic."

5. started a joke which started the whole world crying,

6. eaten kangaroo jerky.

7. gone hunting.

8. passed out drunk.

9. watched "Oprah."

10. cared much for Bruce Springsteen.

On The Mark -- Street Corner Powder Kegs

bitchpd said it best as a comment in The Misanthrope’s post on retiring retirement:

“I truly believe that the end result of this, if the Republicans stay in power, will be to make the American economy look a lot like a lot of South American economies--very small elite, and everyone else lives in slums.”

I’ve seen this when visiting South American countries. I’ve seen it in places like Russia. I reported recently about how an acquaintance who once lived in Iran saw this on the streets of Tehran recently. But even more telling is that many of the unemployed are youth – teenagers and young adults who should be actively employed and starting to make their way in the world. Yet, more and more, we’re seeing them standing on street corners, smoking and trying to figure out how to get rid of their energy – and anger – since jobs are not to be found.

I bring this up because the trend is happening here in the United States. While the Bush administration hyped that the latest unemployment report for April showed that 274,000 jobs had been created, it didn’t mention a very telling statistic that other economic groups are pointing out – that the employment rate for teenagers in the first 11 months of 2004 (36.3 percent) is the lowest it has ever been since 1948 (when it started being monitored). The administration also didn’t point out that the 20-24 age group’s employment rate was only 67.9 percent, down nearly 5 percent since 2000.

As reported by Bob Herbert in the New York Times, Andrew Sum, the director of the Center for Labor Market Studies at Northeastern University said, “Younger workers have just been crushed.” He added, “The economy is growing and real output is up, but the distribution of income, in terms of how much is going to workers, well, the answer is very little has gone to the typical worker.”

Herbert says, “…wealth and power in the United States has (sic?) become ever more dangerously concentrated, leaving an entire generation of essentially powerless workers largely at the mercy of employers.” He ends his column with a great quote from Louis Brandeis:

“We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few. But we can’t have both.”

Cities and villages throughout the world are powder kegs of unemployed youths looking to release their energy and anger. One may think that it can’t happen here, that the U.S. is too big and it all evens out.

I’ve seen several sizable businesses operate with the same blindfolds on. They’re out of business now.

Got Your News On?

Television news, assaulted though it may be today, deserves our respect. It is a time-honored tradition, evolved under the watchful eyes of some of journalism's most brightly shining lights. It's always been an institution which I viewed with a certain amount of awe, and which I considered as separate from the rest of the fare on that same medium.

However...



The latest promos for UPN's nightly newscast have just pushed me over the edge. Print, web and radio spots all pitch the benefits of watching this particular news program. Yes, television news has taken a beating lately, but to stoop so low as to offer (1) prizes for watching, (2) a "code word of the day" to qualify for those prizes, and (3) the slogan "get your news on"? Frankly, I am greatly rankled.

Can we please see a little more dignity from TV news programs? Maybe if we see it, we'll respond with renewed trust and faith that those talking heads on our screens still know what they're doing.

Nothing to Lose

Quite often…these little guys, who might be making atomic weapons or who might be guilty of some human rights violation...are looking for someone to listen to their problems and help them communicate.
Jimmy Carter, 39th president of the United States

The Bush administration’s rush to war in Iraq and the subsequent revelation that Colin Powell’s meeting before the United Nations was all an act with doctored or selectively picked evidence will have and is having lingering and possibly dire consequences, now and for years to come.

No one believes the United States when it comes to intelligence reports because it lost its credibility. According to the New York Times, a senior Chinese diplomat has accused the Bush team of again spouting false information, saying that there is no solid evidence that North Korea was preparing to test a nuclear weapon, and the administration is really trying to undermine negotiations with North Korea.

It seems to me the Chinese diplomat has a valid point. President Bush, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and the rest of the administration have resorted to what they do best – name calling. If you are trying to negotiate, whether it’s the sale of your used car or the elimination of nuclear weapons, you are well advised not to insult the party on the other side of the table. And, if you are going to accuse someone of cheating or being underhanded, you had better have verifiable proof, especially if you were the one caught lying last time.

If you refer to your opponent as a tyrant and the leader of an evil empire, it is likely you are not going to achieve your goals. There is a basic win-win strategy that the Bush team refuses to accept; with them it’s we win and you lose (watch for the nuclear option in the Senate next week).

What the Bushies forget is that it’s hard to make North Korea a loser when they have nothing to lose.

Show Me Some Respect

The state motto of Missouri is salus populi suprema lex esto -- "the welfare of the people shall be the supreme law." With that in mind, let's look at Missouri's recent changes to welfare law, shall we?

The state's new budget calls for new, lower income threshholds that will result in booting 90,000 people off of Medicaid. I'm not one to give blanket support to such programs, but I am appalled that Governor Matt Blunt's office has stated that this will encourage those 90,000 people to get jobs and improve their lives.

Thank you, Governor Blunt, for setting me straight. Little did I realize that those folks on Medicaid just lacked the desire to get better jobs and better lives.

For example, Angel Bridgewater has a $6.70-per-hour McDonald's job that makes her ineligible for state medical aid. Despite supporting three children, she now has to make less than $86 each week to qualify for Medicaid. Before the cuts, she qualified while earning about $300 a week. Now she'll finally be able to take that CFO job at the local multinational conglomerate that she's had her eye on for so very long -- and all because Governor Blunt showed her the way.

I know states want to (need to?) cut Medicaid budgets, but claiming that recipients of such aid just lack the proper motivation to get better jobs is insulting. Perhaps the "show me" state needs to show a little more understanding for its needier citizens.

[Source]

On The Mark -- Because They Can

Hmmmm. I need to revisit my business plan. I’m a consultant, a service business, and my bonus at the end of a contract is when a client renews for the next year. Halliburton, on the other hand, is putting the rest of us service companies to shame. The Army, on Tuesday, rewarded Halliburton with $72 million in BONUSES for logistics work in Iraq.

By the way, in case you’ve lost count, that’s over and above the more than $7 BILLION that Halliburton has earned from the military since 2001.

As New Jersey Senator Frank Lautenberg said in the Los Angeles Times, “It is outrageous that the Bush administration would give Halliburton a bonus after we have seen its overcharges, sloppy accounting and kickback schemes in Iraq…Giving Halliburton a bonus is like giving your worst employee a raise” (which actually isn’t a very good example because I’ve seen that happen a couple times).

“Outrageous,” of course, is the operative word. However, in this administration, it’s a word that’s been used so many times that it’s lost any impact. It’s become as common as “the” and “and.” In fact, a synonym for “outrageous” in this administration could be “commonplace.” Try substituting this word for outrageous in the paragraph above.

See, it works. And you thought I was just being sarcastic.

How does something this “commonplace” happen? Because they can.

Retiring Retirement

“Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit the national debt."
Herbert Hoover (1874-1964), 31st president of the United States

The pension scandal that is United Airlines is nothing short of criminal. In Federal Bankruptcy Court, the judge ruled that United Airlines is no longer responsible for its pension plans. The company made a promise to its employees and the courts have now allowed the company to break it. Not only does United get to walk away from their debt to employees, but also they get to have the government pay off the debt, but employees only receive a percentage.

However, United Chief Executive Officer will continue to receive his million dollar pay check, but most importantly he gets to keep is $4.5 million guarantee retirement package. Now the other airlines USAir, Delta are lining up to skip out on their debt. In 2002, it was Bethlehem Steel.

I don’t believe in conspiracies, but I am starting to think that there is a boys-on-the-bus* mentality going on here. The government and the corporations are lining up to rid employees and citizens of benefits. There will no longer be a safety net for citizens of the richest and most prosperous country. Now it is Darwinian survival for a country that doesn’t even believe in the Darwinian Theory.

Retirement was created during the Roosevelt administration during the depression to help get younger workers employed. Today, projections for an aging society show there will not be enough workers to go around. So, in order to keep businesses functioning, they systematically reduce the ability of people to retire.

Look how hard President George Bush is pushing his empty Social Security plan for private accounts and how companies that are not bankrupt are changing their plans from defined-benefit plans to defined-contribution plans like 401(k) programs. IBM was recently the most egregious in trying to change the rules in mid-stream for its employees until the court made them grandfather in some sort of cut off period. Other companies have been quietly changing the rules on retirement. This is no longer your fathers’ compassionate country.

It may not be a conspiracy, but there is a domino effect that is in motion to retire retirement.

*“Boys on the Bus” by Timothy Crouse about the 1972 presidential election coverage when reporters tended to follow one another rather than report original stories of the campaign.

Oh No, Not You Again

Went out walkin' through the wood the other day
And the world was a carpet laid before me
The buds were bursting and the air smelled sweet and strange
And it seemed about a hundred years ago
“100 Years Ago.” Mick Jagger/Keith Richard, The Rolling Stones



While on the topic of retirement... The Rolling Stones have announced yet another tour. You have to give the old guys credit for not retiring 20 years ago and putting on their fifth farewell tour.

The Stones, while I love their music, are becoming a parody of themselves. They could age gracefully and possibly do acoustic versions of their songs, but Mick Jagger continues to jump and strut and sing about sex as if he were a teenager, rather than just being rich and able to afford young women.

Who is Jagger kidding? He said the band will "dig into the catalogue" for this tour. Hello, they have been mining their rich catalogue for 20 years already.

They have a new song titled “Oh No, Not You Again.” That should be the name of this tour and Paul McCartney’s.

On The Mark -- Sleep in Peace

I’m not afraid to admit it. Married or living together, sleeping together is silly, unproductive, and probably takes years off of your life. I have a couple uncles who have done it right. They sleep in separate beds from their wives, but then they have a “love” room with a nice king-sized bed that they use when the urge strikes. I’m sure they’ve wound up together in the morning once in a while.

One cannot get a good night’s rest while another is occupying your bed. It’s as simple as that. The incessant snoring. The tossing and turning. Talking in your sleep. Getting up to go to the bathroom. The accidental elbow in the ribs, or the kick to the thigh. Coughing. Sneezing. Moaning (for the wrong reasons). That tension that hangs over you heavier than a blanket when you’re not getting along so well. And, if you’ve had baked beans for dinner…well, we all know what that’s all about.

Other than making love, give me one good reason why two people should sleep in the same bed. One.

After sharing the same bed for 12 some years, I’ve been enjoying my solo bed experience for the past 18 months. I’m loving every second of it and I’m sleeping like a rock. When I watch an old episode of Ozzie & Harriet or Luci & Desi, I see that they have their separate beds and it makes me wonder how many of our older generations slept separately as a matter of practice.

One day I’ll get married again, probably. I sure hope she understands. I realize it may be a deal breaker. But I’m afraid, at this stage in my life, that the bed will probably win out.

Cross-Town Traffic

Rush hour: that hour when traffic is almost at a standstill.
J. C. Morton (1893 - 1979), British journalist

The story on traffic congestion that reports Los Angeles motorists sit in traffic an average of 93 hours a year involves data that is almost two years old. If I spent only 93 hours a year in traffic I would be delighted. Ninety-three hours is only 47 days of drive time for me on normal days. When there are accidents or rain, I can do 93 hours in even less days.

In just one-year’s time, I can tell that traffic has increased on my drive by at least 15 minutes. I have to leave the house 15 minutes earlier today, than I did last year at the same time, or my drive time increases by almost 30 minutes.

Traffic is a real problem and politicians don't seem to do anything about it.

On The Mark -- Don't Make Me Send You to the Gulag

When President Bush holds a “town hall” meeting in the United States it’s been reported that these events are well-scripted and the attendees are screened and approved in advance (i.e., there won’t be any worries about tough or inappropriate questions). Really, it’s just an advertisement for the administration’s policies disguised as an open meeting.

Abroad, it’s a little more difficult to script these types of meetings. In Holland, while on his way to Moscow for the Victory Day festivities, Bush participated in an unscripted youth roundtable with some of Holland’s citizens.

The first question was from a young woman who (in summary) wanted to know about new laws that have negatively affected civil liberties in the U.S. since 9/11 and if the U.S. would ever revert to the old laws if terrorism concerns lessened. The second questioner said he had recently received a brochure from a group in the U.S. seeking donations to help the poor in America. The questioner wanted to know (after commenting that the U.S. has been involved in many wars) what was the “balance between the U.S. responsibility to the world and the responsibility to your own people?”

The third question…well, nobody knows outside of the attendees from Holland. You see, after the second question, all of the journalists were escorted from the room. They were no longer invited to listen to the queries of Holland’s youth, but more important, they were not allowed to hear Bush’s unscripted responses.

Can you imagine the scene – in the middle of a Q&A conference, men in dark blue suits are walking up to anyone with a piece of paper and pen and whispering in their ears: you must leave now. Or what, be sent to a Gulag? Or what, suddenly disappear and never be heard from again?

Sometimes Russia’s Putin has a point when he says the U.S. should take a look at its own freedom of the press and democracy before it starts criticizing other nations.

An Open Letter to the Guy with the Big Sign on the Street Corner

Dear Sir,

It has always baffled me that, come Sunday morning, there are hordes of red-shirted legions hawking the mass-produced homes of the various real estate conglomerates. Baffled, I should say, not because I doubt the ability of those comglomerates to foist their small-parcel no-yard quick-build cookie-cutter homes on unsuspecting first-time buyers, but rather baffled by the ability of those selfsame conglomerates to acquire and retain such talent.

With what finesse do you twirl that sign in your hand! With what nonchalant grace do you intermittently pause, holding it steady for passing drivers to better read! With what... je ne sais quoi do you deftly spin and twist, toss and catch, flip and turn that oversized arrow! You, sir, are the very future of marketing, staring me right in the face as I turn left at this busy intersection.

Focused direct mail? Bah! Radio spots? Pshaw! Thought-provoking advertisements in market-focused publications? Hogwash!

One small question, though, before you turn back to your life of glamour and acclaim: have you considered how unstable your current employment is, given that you can -- at any time -- be replaced by a stick?

Sincerely,

The guy who made that smarmy, superior face as he drove past you this morning (that is to say, me)

The Misanthrope – Sunday’s Lighter Side

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
Jewish Proverb.

Bravo Daughter. Daughter found out Friday morning that she was invited as one out of 26 students in California’s State University system, to attend the Panetta Institute, which as the site says, serves as a non-partisan center for the study of public policy aimed at helping our communities and our country meet the challenges of the 21st Century.

She was the only one out the entire university of 15,000 plus students to receive such an honor. Not only did she have to be approved by the political science department, she also had to be approved by the president of the university. She selected her university with the goal of attaining this internship four years ago.

As you may recall, Daughter recently returned from studying aboard where she met former President Bill Clinton, who shook her hand and even while late for a dinner posed for a picture. Democratic strategist James Carville who was also with Clinton took a few minutes to chat with Daughter. After sending her parents the pictures, she also sent them to her Political Science Department Chair, who has been nothing but encouraging to Daughter since her arrival on campus.

Daughter will attend the institute’s Congressional Intern Program that begins with an intensive two-week course at California State University, Monterey Bay with Leon Panetta and other seasoned veterans explaining how the legislative process actually works. Then each intern is assigned to a Capitol Hill office of a member of the California congressional delegation to work for two and a half months.

This is the part Daughter’s parents really like: The Institute covers all program costs including air travel, housing in Washington, D.C. Daughter will earn 20 semester credits and receive a stipend to help cover other expenses.

Mother’s Day. Just like the athletes on TV, “hi mom.” I would write about you and tell everyone how wonderful you are, but I know you are rather particular about your privacy, so you will have to settle for a card and dinner today.

One of my absolute favorite sites Bitch.Ph.D. has a nice piece titled “Mother’s Day Weekend” on the origin of Mother’s Day. She points out:

Specifically, Mother's Day was originally a pro-life holiday in the true sense of the word: it claimed mothers as life-givers not in order to deny them rights over their own bodies, but to advocate against killing their sons in war.

Freeway Shooter. There have been five or six freeway shootings on the Southern California freeways, which is a very serious problem. However, in order for me to deal with this, since I drive 80 miles a day on our congested highways; I have to have some fun with it.

I mentioned to a friend about how the L.A. Shooter should aim at cell phone users who inconsiderately slow traffic while they gab. If that were the case, he said he would immediately enlist like the minute men on the Mexican border. I think many of us would like to see open season on cell phone users.

Wife Sick, Husband Tardy... Both Happy

I had to go in late to work a few days this week (and get off early, when I could) when my wife took ill. Not anything serious -- a sinus infection in the chest and conjunctivitis in both eyes -- but it kept her off her feet, out of the driver's seat, and unable to perform her core duties at this juncture in her life: taking care of our three young daughters.

I slowly came to a realization about why I got an odd look from co-workers when I mentioned my wife's illness as the cause of my tardiness. In their minds, a sick wife does what a sick husband would do: she takes a day off of work to get well. The kids would do their usual thing, which is apparently (in today's world) school or day care or hanging with the au pair. My wife and I don't have that sort of thing going.

As faithful readers of Toner Mishap know, my wife is a rabbi. Very faithful readers will know she is not currently a full-time rabbi for anyone but me and our three girls; she is committed full-time to their well-being, and mine as well. So when she gets sick, the kids are out of luck -- the baby has no one to change her diapers, the middle child has no one to play with or fix her lunch, and the oldest is in a carpool that doesn't go anywhere without my wife. WIth her unable to focus her bleary reddened eyes, and unable to take a breath without coughing like a seasoned smoker of forty years, it fell to me to pick up the slack.

So it's not that my wife's illness makes her incapable of self-care -- it's that the three youngsters who rely on her every minute of every day would not have their needs met... and so I did what I could to fill her shoes, which is why I spent a lot of time this week working at home late at night and into the wee hours of the morning.

That said, at Mothers' Day I can't easily pay tribute to my lovely, talented, intelligent, ordained, and nurturing wife (but I will try). She is my partner and my love, my high school girlfriend, my fellow world traveler, my soul mate, my beshert, and my everything. And six years ago (plus a month or so) we became parents for the first time, and then a second and a third in the years that followed.

There is no one better at what she does, and no one I would rather spend the rest of my life with... she is the clichéd glue which holds our family together, and I wish her the happiest of Mothers' Days.

How Not to Design a Logo

Thanks, BoingBoing, for bringing my attention to what is possibly the most poorly designed logo for an Oriental studies department (or any department, or just anything) ever. You can see the stylized Asian building in front of the red "rising sun" motif, right? If you try really hard?

And it's real, though two years old; click the logo to check out the site... which is actually now defunct, apparently.

Thoughts About God's Infinite Being

Just read Julius Lester's The Autobiography of God this week; I'm apparently on a "female rabbi novel" kick right now, having also recently completed this. Lester's novel is about a mid-life rabbi who discovers that she may have some very important (and strange) tasks to perform in her life, and it was a good read for someone who's married to a rabbi. Probably even if you're not.

Lester brings up two ideas in his novel that I wanted to briefly share, perhaps to elicit your thoughts...

1. God created man and woman in God's own image. We are capable of evil; is God, then, capable of evil?

2. God is infinite. Does that mean that God encompasses all good and evil? If not, how can God truly be infinite?

One more book recommendation -- an "oldie but goodie," as they say. Jeremy Leven's Satan: His Psychotherapy and Cure by the Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.S.P.S is a riotous novel in which Satan contacts a psychotherapist and then goes through analysis, dicussing such topics as his bad relationship with God, the whole thing with Job, and the reasons for his rebellion against Heaven.

P.S. None of the links here are self-serving kick-back type links; I get no money if you order the books. For that matter, feel free not to buy from Amazon even if you do want to buy the books.

Sorry Reid Apologized

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
P. G. Wodehouse (1881 - 1975), writer, humorist

What the Senate's top Democrat, Harry M. Reid did was weak. What he said about George W. Bush was right on target.

According to the Las Vegas Review Journal, Reid said, “The man's father is a wonderful human being," Reid said in response to a question about Bush's policies. "I think this guy is a loser. He's driving this country into bankruptcy," Reid said, referring to the deficit. "He's got us in this intractable war in Iraq where we now have about 1,600 American soldiers dead and another 15,000 injured."

Reid apologized because there has been a long-standing tradition that the opposition party customarily does not criticize the president when he is abroad. However, this administration has been lying and twisting the truth that I would say all bets are off, so to say you are sorry when you are speaking the truth is not a sign of strength.

I am sorry Reid apologized

DeLay Acting Repentant

God may pardon you, but I never can.
Elizabeth I (1533 - 1603), English monarch

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Tex.) is now going the public forgiveness route.

According to the Washington Post, DeLay appeared in the ornate Caucus Room of the Cannon House Office Building during the 54th annual National Day of Prayer gathering on Capitol Hill. "If we spent less time ducking responsibility and more time welcoming it. If we spent less time on our soapboxes and more time on our knees." DeLay drew appreciative smiles when he added, "For in God, all things are possible, ladies and gentlemen. And even greatness from lowly sinners like you and me -- especially me."

DeLay has no shame. He acted as if he were a mafia don in the House and now that his shenanigans are being exposed and people are realizing that he might be a bully, a liar or simply just another politician on the take, he wants his constituents to forgive him.

I would like to see DeLay, the sinner on his knees – in a penitentiary scrubbing the bathrooms with a toothbrush.

On The Mark -- A Tip of the Cap to Andy

Andy Roddick lost yesterday, but he really won. The top-ranked player in the Rome Masters tennis tournament had the chance to let a bad call finish off a victory for him, leading to a quarterfinal match with Andre Agassi. His opponent's second serve looked good, but the umpire called it long. Roddick, looking at the ball mark at his feet, which showed that the ball actually was in, had the choice to keep his mouth shut, certainly he's lost calls along the way. Instead, he corrected the umpire, told him his opponent's serve was actually good, and his opponent got the point. Roddick then went on to lose the match, and tens of thousands of dollars (if not more).

In today's world of rampant dishonesty and deceit -- a world where money is king -- I find it so incredibly refreshing to see this display of honesty. If his integrity hits home with even a few kids (and especially some adults), then it's already a grand slam.

Thank you, Andy. You have a new fan.

Crooks Strike Out with Yankees

There is no one thoroughly despicable. We cannot descend much lower than an idiot; and an idiot has some advantages over a wise man.
William Hazlitt (1778–1830), essayist

It could have been out of a scene of the HBO television show "The Sopranos," where a couple of hoods trying to prove themselves by stealing a shipping container from a warehouse, in this case from Elizabeth, New Jersey.

You could just picture the hoodlums high-fiving each other eagerly anticipating safely getting away to a hideaway and inventorying their ill-gotten presents. Well, in this case, the crime did not pay. These two-bit palookas dashed away with 47,000 Yankee caps that were going to be used for free hats on Friday and Saturday nights sponsored by Budweiser and Empire Blue Cross and Blue Shield, according to the New York Times article on the heist.

As these criminals head off into the sunset they are no doubt blaming and slapping each other with their Yankee caps about another fine mess.

On The Mark -- Ugly Duckling

One has to wonder about some of the “mediagenic” research studies that are conducted. I remember a study of corn-on-the-cob users several years ago that cost something like $350,000. How do you eat your corn-on-the-cob? If you eat it straight across in rows then, according to this study, you’re a thinker and reserved. If you eat it in circular fashion, then you’re the creative type. If you eat chunks of the cob randomly, well, you’re psychotic. The next time you’re at a singles BBQ, you might want to see how the person you’re checking out is eating their cob. Otherwise, I really don’t see where this kind of study merits that kind of dough.

Anyway, the latest one is on beautiful vs. ugly children. “Ugly Children May Get Parental Short Shrift” is the headline in the current issue of Science Times. Basically, the ugly kids were not watched as carefully and got into trouble, while the beautiful kids got all kinds of supervision and attention (particularly boys). I believe the study is supposed to show how this affects kids as they grow older.

Admittedly, I haven’t seen the study or reviewed the methodology. But I’d really like to know what the criteria were for determining a beautiful kid vs. an ugly kid. Was it an American Idol kind of thing where judges determined which category the kid belonged in? Were the researchers ugly or beautiful? I can remember many times in my life when I’ve said, “Wow, that woman is gorgeous,” and a friend would say, “I don’t think she’s that great” and vice versa.

Plus there’s the issue of ugly kids who grow up beautiful. How many of you have experienced the moment when you see a niece or nephew for the first time in 10 or so years (7 vs. 17 years of age, for example) and can’t believe it’s the same person because they were cute as a kid but ugly now or the other way around?

So this study gets lots of press because it’s “mediagenic.” But who cares?

Feeling Sympathetic Toward England

It is my act, my hand, my heart: I beseech your lordships to be merciful to a broken reed.
Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626), English philosopher

It seems to me on the surface that the military judge that abruptly tossed out a guilty plea and declared a mistrial in the court-martial of Pfc. Lynndie R. England, may have done the right thing.

England does not sound like the sharpest tool in the shed, which is no excuse, but try to be the one to tell pumped up soldiers not to mistreat enemy combatants. I am not saying for even one second, that she should not be punished, but maybe her punishment she be along the lines of reading and community service, so that she is not just punished, but she learns something out of the process. Maybe gain knowledge to pass along to her newborn child.

The judge, Col. James Pohl, dismissed the jury in the sentencing phase of her case and sent the year-old matter back to a lieutenant general who will weigh a range of options, including starting over or dismissing the case.

I find myself feeling very sympathetic toward England in this case.

On The Mark -- Gross Negligence

I'm sure you recall all the media coverage regarding the death of Pat Tillman, the Army Ranger who died while fighting in Afghanistan in the same unit as his brother, the same Pat Tillman who gave up a lucrative NFL contract to join the Army to defend our country. Other soldiers before and after him had and have died, but his death got all the attention because he gave up so much to fight terrorism. I didn't have a problem with all the coverage, I wish every fallen soldier would get the same attention for their bravery. But Tillman's situation was milked for everything the government could get out of it.

Now, buried in the papers (if it's even covered at all) is the news that Army officials knew within days that Tillman had been killed by friendly fire, but didn't inform his family and the public for weeks.

In fact, the Army had determined that Tillman died of gross negligence FOUR days before the nationally televised memorial. Obviously, "someone" knew that the media coverage would change significantly if they had this information. In death, Tillman was used.

Don't get me wrong, a soldier's death, whether it be by friendly or enemy fire, is a tragic occurrence. It doesn't matter where the bullet came from. What's sad is that someone, somewhere, said let's wait until the memorial is over so this doesn't become a story about what went wrong. Let's take advantage of Tillman's notoreity to build support for this war.

Pom Poms and Burkas

You've got to understand, this business is about selling, and blonde and blue-eyed girls are what sells.
Naomi Campbell, fashion model

Why does it always seem like Texas, Florida and Alabama are always doing something stupid to encroach on civil rights or find something subversive in everything from cartoon characters to television shows? Legislators in Texas are considering legislation to ban 'sexually suggestive' performances in schools by cheerleaders. Exposed midriffs and ever shorter shorts and skirts have particularly outraged some legislators.

The proposed law would ban dance routines by school cheerleaders at sports events that one politician said was like something out of a strip club. The bill would allow the Texas Education Agency to ban routines deemed vulgar or excessive.

One of the co-authors of the bill, Republican Corbin Van Arsdale, said many parents want restrictions because they go to Friday night games to see young men clashing on the football field, not girls shaking their behinds on the sidelines.

If the courts cannot define pornography just how are these people going to set rules for sexually suggestive? Maybe the answer is cheerleaders in burkas.

Refreshing, it is.Drink it, you must.

Yoda has sold out. In a commercial for a certain diet cola beverage, the venerable Jedi Master is seen using the Force to steal another patron's soda can.



Does Yoda have no integrity? No moral compass? No consistency? After all, he won't even use the Force to help him walk better, saving up those midichlorians for only the most dire of emergencies.

And, apparently, for a hard-to-quench thirst.



Even Chewbacca got roped into the deal, but you just know he didn't get the same fee that Yoda demanded.

You can watch the commercial here.

On The Mark -- China's Winning the Chess Match

If you haven’t noticed, there are some very interesting chess moves occurring in Asia right now. China and Taiwan have been at odds since the Nationalists fled to the island in 1949, and there’s been strong talk of military action in recent months. China continues to regard Taiwan as a secessionist province. It wasn’t that long ago when China put on a big naval war games show in the Taiwan Strait that brought rebukes and threats from several nations, most notably the United States.

China’s leadership and Taiwan’s president (Chen Shui-bian) have basically ignored each other and have made (thankfully) empty threats for the past five years or so. But China made a very shrewd move – right out of Karl Rove’s handbook, if you will. China’s leadership invited the top opponent (Lien Chan) of Chen’s to visit the mainland. You may have seen the large photos depicting Lien shaking hands with the Chinese leadership. Unless you were really paying attention, you probably thought Taiwan’s and China’s leaders were finally trying to work it out. You were wrong. And that’s the whole point behind China’s strategy.

Meanwhile, back in Taiwan, the current president, Chen, who has twice defeated Lien in the polls, is saying, hey wait a minute, why is the guy I’ve beaten twice getting all this world leader, global attention? What about me? And that’s the whole point behind China’s strategy. China has managed to minimize Chen on the world stage. And now Chen is throwing out peace proposals to ease the tension, while the Chinese chuckle behind the scenes and ask yet another opposition leader (James Soong) to visit the mainland.

While there’s been a lot of talk about Iraq, Afghanistan, Iran and North Korea, China has quietly built a larger world stage. I don’t know if it’s China’s century, as some are proclaiming, but I do know that they consider Taiwan as a temperamental, runaway child that will one day come home, whether it likes it or not. From China’s perspective, 56 years is like 56 days.

It’s More Than Flooring for a Bird Cage

"What is the role of a free and independent press in a democratic society? Is it to be a passive conduit responsible only for the delivery of information between government and its people? Is it to aggressively print allegation and rumor independent of accuracy or fairness? Is it to show boobies?"
Jon Stewart, from America (The Book) A Citizen’s Guide to Democracy Inaction

It occurred to me while reading an article in Monday’s New York Times about the media working hard to keep advertisers that the Republicans’ continual harping about how bad the media is will only serve to hurt the country in the end. Newspaper circulation has been on a general decline since 1984, and has suffered especially in the last several years as other forms of media compete for the attention of readers, including cable television and the Internet.

The newspaper circulation fell 1.9 percent at major U.S. newspapers in the six-month period ending in March, an industry group reported, marking one of the worst declines in recent years.

I would content that the lack of real interest in current events has contributed to a general ignorance that allowed President George Bush to be re-elected. Since readership has been in decline since 1984, we have had only Republican presidents. Bill Clinton was an anomaly. He may never have been elected if H. Ross Perot had not siphoned votes from President Father Bush.

Today, people just read their news on the Internet or receive headlines from the network news. Network news is a misnomer, it’s more like network pabulum. Cable is just a bunch of talking heads pushing one agenda or the other. Granted, I know this is generalizing and reflects my bias, but our country in order to function properly needs an informed citizenry. Chances are that if you are reading this you are most likely a newspaper reader and informed about issues (or a relative checking to see if I have mentioned you – hello mother), since we mostly write about current events, except when B2 finds some new Chewbacca angle. Also, needless to say to our readers, but if you get your news from Toner Mishap you are certainly not among the informed, it would be like getting your news from Jon Stewart’s Daily Show, just not as funny (it’s a cable show, you don’t get it mother).

I say subscribe to a newspaper today; and when you go on vacation donate that week or two to a local school. It’s important that newspaper reading is encouraged.

Touch the Future -- Or Not

Here's what blogging is really about.

On The Mark -- Sorry Ladies, Roosters Come First

If you live in South Carolina, anyway. Recently, the state’s House Judiciary Committee stopped a bill to increase penalties for wife battering. At the same time, they approved a bill that made cock-fighting a felony.

You don’t have to read that paragraph again. You got it right the first time, as unbelievable as it is.

Here’s what one assemblyman, John Graham Altman, had to say about the wife-beating bill that he played a big part in defeating: He said the bill wasn’t necessary because a battered woman should never go home to get hit again. When a newswoman asked him what was worth more – a gamecock’s life or a woman’s life – Altman reportedly replied, “You’re not very bright, you’ll just have to live with that.”

By the way, this is the same assemblyman who proposed a “Choose Death” license plate for pro-choice drivers, among other crazy things.

Republicans in the state are re-thinking the wife-battering bill and looking at new legislation that would make domestic violence a felony on the third offense. Believe it or not, that would be an improvement over what’s on the books right now.

Yes, this is the 21st Century.

The Original Magic Bullet Express

Saw it at Target; couldn't resist repeating some of the claims of this product -- it is, after all, "The HI-SPEED BLENDER/MIXER SYSTEM That does it all!"

Turn your leftover chicken into a mouthwatering lunch favorite your whole family will love! The chicken starts in your mouth, travels through your stomach, exits here [picture shown on box] and proceeds to travel through the mouths and stomachs of every one at the table!

Effortlessly grate hard or soft cheeses; do three different cheeses in only 5.6 seconds, including reloading time!

Make this quick, flavorful sauce to add to your favorite pasta. After you load the tomatoes here, they burst from the machine, turn 90 degrees -- in mid-air -- and land on the other side of the blender, where they are squashed into sauce!

Same Old Story

Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.
George Orwell, writer

This article in the New York Times is frightening and very disturbing.

The Republican chairman of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting is aggressively pressing public television to correct what he and other conservatives consider liberal bias, prompting some public broadcasting leaders - including the chief executive of PBS - to object that his actions pose a threat to editorial independence.

Without the knowledge of his board, the chairman, Kenneth Y. Tomlinson, contracted last year with an outside consultant to keep track of the guests' political leanings on one program, "Now With Bill Moyers."

In late March, on the recommendation of administration officials, Mr. Tomlinson hired the director of the White House Office of Global Communications as a senior staff member, corporation officials said. While she was still on the White House staff, she helped draft guidelines governing the work of two ombudsmen whom the corporation recently appointed to review the content of public radio and television broadcasts.

Mr. Tomlinson also encouraged corporation and public broadcasting officials to broadcast "The Journal Editorial Report," whose host, Paul Gigot, is editor of the conservative editorial page of The Wall Street Journal. And while a search firm has been retained to find a successor for Kathleen A. Cox, the corporation's president and chief executive, whose contract was not renewed last month, Mr. Tomlinson has made clear to the board that his choice is Patricia Harrison, a former co-chairwoman of the Republican National Committee who is now an assistant secretary of state.

Mr. Tomlinson said that he was striving for balance and had no desire to impose a political point of view on programming, explaining that his efforts are intended to help public broadcasting distinguish itself in a 500-channel universe and gain financial and political support.

"My goal here is to see programming that satisfies a broad constituency," he said, adding, "I'm not after removing shows or tampering internally with shows."

But he has repeatedly criticized public television programs as too liberal overall, and said in the interview, "I frankly feel at PBS headquarters there is a tone deafness to issues of tone and balance."

They never let up on their mission to control everything.

Search Strings -- April 2005

Thank you for finding Toner Mishap; now explain to us why you're looking for this stuff!

family guy naked
cock fighting
i am chewbacca
cleaning toner out of carpet
g-string divas music
what are the effects of tasers on kids
chewbacca defense
injustice anywhere is the threat of injustice everywhere
chewbacca wookie song mp3
brigette neilsen
jedi mix m&m peanut

The Misanthrope –Sunday’s Lighter Side

If you want work well done, select a busy man: the other kind has no time.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915), writer, printer, and editor.

Working. I like being busy, but I resent being so busy that I have no time for anything except to drive to work. When B2 told me about the urinal piece, which I loved, I barely had time to cobble together my piece (he would have kindly waited, but I was eager to add my two cents). The urinal idea struck me as something Nicholson Baker could have written. My newspapers continue to stay pristine, but the contents have gone stale. I am composing this on Saturday at my desk downtown at 3:30 p.m. awaiting a 4 p.m. conference call. I have listened to the new Bruce Springsteen CD “Devils & Dust” at least three times today, because I already listened to my CD compilations of Josh Stone and Miles Davis. Oh well, I have it better than the other individuals who worked for two days without sleep last weekend.

Driving Aimlessly. Poor Daughter had an interview for an internship, but ended up driving the Southern California freeway system missing turnoffs and exits for almost three hours. If you were to diagram her travels, it would look almost like three-points on a star. Daughter goes back for phase-two next week. She now knows exactly how to get there and can provide directions to most anywhere in the So. Cal area.

CDs. I am sure everyone feels that they can make a music mix for a CD or an iPod better than anyone else, but I do make a heck of a CD. In my car currently playing are Neil Young’s Greatest Hits; Joe Lovano’s “I am All for You;” my mix of songs from Tierney Sutton, my mix of Frank Sinatra love-lost songs, which is simply great; a mix of the Kinks and one I made in between showering and dressing the other morning, which was a selection of rain songs. I had many to select from, here is a sampling of what I chose:
Tom Waits – Make it Rain
Cassandra Wilson – I Can’t Stand the Rain
Carmen McRae – Come in Out of the Rain
Leon Russell – A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall
Creedence Clearwater Revival – Who’ll Stop the Rain
Joe Cocker – I Can Stand a Little Rain
Randy Newman – I Think it is Going to Rain Today
Stan Getz – Here’s That Rainy Day
Billie Holiday -- Come Rain or Shine

People. I was having my Saturday night dinner at 8:45 p.m.; a bowl of soup and two cold slices of last night’s pizza. The baseball game was on the television and I was flipping through the People magazine, when my heart jumped into my throat. The *&%*$%#* magazine had an ad for the CBS Elvis movie that blasted out the King’s "Blue Suede Shoes," when you turned the page. A tribe of pigmy elves could have swarmed the house and I would have been only slightly more surprised.