Beef jerky is the very essence of food -- meat at its most basic level. It's tough, stringy, chewy, and delicious -- and I like it. But I have, as most of you no doubt do as well, some unanswered questions about beef jerky.
I have read that "the word jerky comes from the Native American word charqui, meaning jerked beef." But what exactly is jerked beef? Does it sound like something people should talk about in public? In "mixed company"? In therapy?
Question numero dos: what makes Dad's Jerky so good? Their website states it thusly: you can "hold a 24-count case in the palm of your hand." But do I really need 24 pieces of jerky on hand? What sort of unexpected jamboree could spring up, taking me unawares and requiring copius amounts of stringy beef? I'm not sure, but I suppose it's better to be prepared.
What about the need for good jerky PR? This juicy answer is from Tillamook's jerky history webpage: "One day, Crawford's wife, Shirley, predicted that Art's amazing jerky would be a big hit if only more people could taste it." Perhaps they should consider packaging it in 24-count packs.
And how about the astronauts? "What do they think of jerky?" you are no doubt wondering. "How can those poor astronauts survive in space without ready access to jerky -- say, in handy 24-count packs?" Good news:
Final Frontier Jerky is available FREE to anyone flying on Soyuz, Space Shuttle, Shenzhou, or X-Prize spacecraft. Throughout history, jerky has been included on expeditions. We want to see that tradition continued as the Space Age comes of age.This post has been brought to you in honor of White Trash Wednesday; please visit the other participants in this weekly drama, listed on the right.
When you are ready to make your flight into space, remember to ask us for your free Final Frontier Jerky supplies. For confirmation, e-mail your flight and crew schedules to: firstname.lastname@example.org.
One pound per person to orbit is complements of Beefjerky.com. Please place your request at least 4 weeks prior to your lift-off.