The Misanthrope – Sunday’s Lighter Side

I am an optimist, unrepentant and militant. After all, in order not to be a fool an optimist must know how sad a place the world can be. It is only the pessimist who finds this out anew every day.
Peter Ustinov, actor

Polite Form of Address – The first time I was called sir I was amused because it was a little kid who used it and I was probably about 20 or so. As I got a bit older, anyone who used sir to address me, I would politely tell them my name so I they would not have to use the respectful salutation. This week I have passed into new territory. I was called a gentleman. I don’t recall exactly how it was used, but to me I thought they were talking about my grandfather. I am not ready yet to be a kindly old gentleman. Cranky, cantankerous curmudgeon I can live with, but gentleman. This getting old stuff is for the birds.

Think Positive – We had a half-day seminar on positive behavior at the office. I am sure there is some value in it all and I will certainly try to embrace many of its aspects. I will begin by putting a positive spin on my shoes. Men’s shoes are very expensive. I rationalize the price by amortizing it over the years that I keep the shoes. Wife kindly took my shoes to the shoemaker to have new soles put on. When the shoes were finished, they looked as if they were some sort of special orthopedic shoes with extra large soles. Practicing my new positive thinking, if I were concerned about my height the extra two inches would be terrific. As I trek the half-mile from my $100 a month parking spot to the office, I will never have to worry about the new soles ever wearing out again.

Working all Night – There was a big project that required an extraordinary amount of hours, but through this effort I discovered a wonderful time to drive. At 3.am. there is virtually no traffic. I was able to sail straight through without any congestion. The next night, I was finished at 9 p.m. and the freeway was a bit sticky. There was a traffic sign warning drivers that there was a 90-minute delay. Using my positive thinking, I was delighted to have worked late so I missed the traffic jam figuring the signs were from earlier in the evening. Nope. Traffic came to a sputtering stop. When I eventually made it to the next exit, I hopped back on the freeway going the opposite direction and took an alternative route. It is a good thing I know my way around the local freeways.

Realistically Positive – This new positive me may have my friends equating my personality change with that of Jack Nicholson in “One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest,” after his frontal lobotomy.

Optimism is the content of small men in high places.
F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940), writer