Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Stop the babies before they kill again!

It's about time national security authorities took a step combatting terrorism's best-kept secret: baby terrorists.

Yahoo is reporting that infants have been stopped from boarding airplanes throughout the U.S. because their names are the same as or similar to those of possible terrorists on the government's 'no-fly list.' There are those who protest this kind of action is unwarranted or unneccessary, but they are dangerously shortsighted.

Last month at Dulles International Airport outside Washington, Sarah Zapolsky and her husband were detained by a ticketing agent who told them their 11-month-old son was on the government list. "I understand that security is important," Zapolsky said. "But if they're just guessing, and we have to give up our passport to prove that our 11-month-old is not a terrorist, it's a waste of their time." Sure; until that 11-month-old hijacks a plane and flies it into a skyscraper.

Well-known people like Sen. Edward M. Kennedy have also been stopped at airports because their names match those on the lists. I don't think anyone can object that keeping Teddy under closer scrutiny is a just one of the many benefits of this policy.

And in the meantime, every baby stopped is one less baby crying during the entire flight. Crying, of course, to distract us from his evil plans.


Devo said...

I think I'd be more concerned about keeping ol' Red-Nose Teddy away from automobiles and bridges rather than off airplanes... ouch. I'm so mean.

Anyway, my fiancee's stepfather's name is Jimmy Johnson, and apparently that name is on a few watch lists as well. Apparently it's a pretty popular pseudonym for potential terrorists. Now, I don't want to succumb to any sort of racial profiling, but if you see a guy witha thick beard and a turban trying to pass himself off as being named "Jimmy Johnson"... THEN perhaps you have a case for checking him out. However, that doesn't really seem like a logical name for a terrorist to choose for himeslf. Kind of obvious, don't you think? Why not try something a little more believable?

I dunno. I'm just sayin' is all.

Chandira said...


I've seen those evil babies.. I'd stop them too. They carry all sorts of dangerous WMD's in those diapers sometimes. Ick.

Attila said...

Quick! Someone ask John Roberts if he supports abortion as a way of stopping potential baby terrorists!