There's nothing like a quality newspaper... and this is nothing like one!
Note the three top stories, all tales of woe: "Dying Dick Clark's Last Wish," "Zsa Zsa's Sad Last Days," and "Regis Cheats Death." Hmm. I guess that last one is actually upbeat. Oh wait -- look at the subtitle: "Quit TV now, friends beg."
Why can't the New York Times rise to this level?
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