Thursday, September 08, 2005

Back to Basics

I've given up on science.

I'm not going to start advocating the teaching of intelligent design in grade school -- it's just that every day there's another study about what you should eat, or shouldn't eat, or should avoid or suffer some horrible debilitating illness.

And that's why I'm just sticking with what I know: the four basic food groups.

Forget pyramids, and counting carbs, and South Beach, and gluten-free, organic, soy-based lactose-free low-carb zero-emissions food plans -- you've got your meat, your grains, your fruits and vegetables, and your dairy. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-bang, ba-da-boom.

When I sit down for a meal, I do a mental check: is there meat for protein? Is there bread or something like it? A fruit or vegetable? Excellent -- then why not add a doughnut or a slice of cake, too. And that's my secret for well-toned buttocks. That and a little walking, I guess.

Anyone who's still listening to news reports about eggs being good or eggs being bad, or nuts being horrible and then being necessary, or alcohol being dangerous but a daily glass of red wine being beneficial, anyone like that is just wasting a lot of time. Everything you need to know about food you learned in kindergarten, before this all got so complicated: four food groups, keep it basically balanced, and enjoy yourself.

[And thanks to Andrew Andrew at The Blog at the End of the Universe, who had a recent post that sparked this idea in my head.]


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Anonymous said...

Too bad they don't teach this in Kindergarten any more. It's more likely that they get the confusing new pyramid diatribe, or nothing at all. Intelligent design in action. And they can't eat PB-n-J sandwiches in the lunchroom because other kids might be allergic to peanuts. I think going by color is also a good idea - make sure there are at least 3 colors on your plate (green, brown, white fits a lot of dinner patterns). And don't teach kids about Lunchables!