The Misanthrope – Sunday’s Lighter Side New Rules

Plagiarism has many advantages over the labor of creation. It is much easier to carry out and less hard work. You can finish twenty works of plagiarism in the time it takes to produce one creative work.
Bernardo Atxaga, Basque writer

After watching how our government federal and state acted so shamefully after Hurricane Katrina, I am a bit tapped out this weekend. I am enjoying a nice four-day weekend that started Friday, I am going to count my blessing that everything is good, but that could change in just a few short seconds if the earth in southern California starts violently shaking, we could be just like the folks in Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama and Iraq without water, electricity and no place to live.

So, on that lighter side note, I am going to excerpt a few new rules from Bill Maher’s new book “New Rules, Polite Musings from a Timid Observer:”

New Rule. George Bush must stop saying he owes all his success to Laura. George Bush owes all his success to his daddy, his daddy’s friends, trust funds, legacy admissions, the National Guard, the Supreme Court, Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, and AA.

New Rule. Call things what they are. If your morning coffee contains crushed ice, whipped cream, and caramel, it’s a milk shake. Same as if you cook your cocaine on a spoon and smoke it, you’re not freebasing; you’re a crackhead. And, if you go down on your husband after he gives you a new fur coat, you’re not celebrating your anniversary; you’re a – oh, never mind.

New Rule. Paying to listen to the radio is wrong. Seemingly normal Americans are now paying 10 dollars a month to get satellite radio. That’s right – they’re paying to listen to the radio. Hello! It’s the radio! The whole point of radio is that you don’t have to pay for it. It’s like paying to hum. If it wasn’t free, do you think they’d play Foghat? So what if satellite radio has a hundred channels. So does cable TV, and just like cable TV, five of them are good 20 suck, and the rest are in Spanish.