Friday, April 22, 2005

I Am That I Am

In honor of Passover's imminence, a little Hebrew humor.

Moses cried, “When the slaves in Goshen ask your name, what shall I tell them?” and God said, “Ehyeh-Asher-Ehyeh. I am who I am.”

“Are you sure?” asked Moses.

“You will say, ‘Ehyeh has commanded you.’”

Moses went and did the Lord’s bidding. He returned a short time later.

“No one really takes the name Am seriously.”

God said, “Did you use the word Ehyeh?”

“They already know that Ehyeh means Am. It’s our language. They think it’s a weird name. And not as pleasing as Osiris.”

“I wasn’t speaking literally. It’s kind of a play on words, like, I’m sort of beyond a name, because I AM. So for them, that’s all the identity I need. I am.”

“I think the problem is the verb being used in place of—”

“Okay, you know what? Tell them they can call me He Who Doesn’t Put Up With Shit Like This, or better yet, they can call me He Who’s Gonna Leave Them To Rot In Egypt. See if they like that name better.”



Devo said...

This AM guy is funny. Seems a touch on the wrathful side though.

Anyway, I always took that whole "I am that I am" statement to be a sort of proto-Cartesian observation that consciousness is the fundamental godheadseed thingy. In relation to your observances on Quantum Mechanics, consciousness is always the most fundamental ingredient in any appraisal of the world, or any attempt at understanding it. So in that sense, Moses and company certainly WERE onto something significant... Then again, I'm nowhere near Jewish, so I really just have no clue.

Anonymous said...

interesting that i read that segment of exodus in my liesurely morning read today. i like your comedic ending, though. it tickled me.

Anonymous said...

funny, indeed!

CW FISHER said...

Actually, what a thrilling statement. Ask God his name, what else is he going to say? I am. Can't beat it. Descartes added the clever prefix "I think therefore..." but it was just a trick of logic, a mobius strip, a refutation. But if God tried it again down here, any child would answer back, "Am not."