The power of Christ compels you!

To the lady on my train (you know who you are):

Congratulations on your relationship with Jesus! From your appearance I might have assumed that you and the [alleged] Messiah were on the outs; certainly a woman who had a personal connection with God would dress a bit nattier, don't you think?

But no -- you may not dress the part, but you proclaim your faith so loudly and repeatedly that it must be true: Jesus is your personal savior, and more power to you. Or him.

I didn't have the chance earlier to discuss this topic at greater length with you, so let me take this opportunity to be more clear: please enjoy Jesus responsibly.

Jesus may be your favorite diety, but he's really not my cup of tea. And though I'm pleased to live in a country where everyone ostensibly gets to believe as they wish, I don't need to spend my hour-long commute listening to you sing praises and hymns to the glory of this guy.

And when I politely ask you to tone it down a little and let the rest of us go to hell in peace, I don't want to hear how you're doing holy work by being witness of Christ's love. I don't want to hear that when the spirit takes you, you can't hold it in.

Here's a tip: if you're looking for Jesus, try a church.

Please allow those of us who are misguided enough to believe in something other than your beliefs to go our merry ways without having to suffer through your tone-deaf halleluyahs.

God bless.