National Lampoon (yes, it still exists; yes, it's still mostly not funny) has a few gems this week, including "Superman is a dick." But just as good is an excerpt from an unpublished Batman story, which I will excerpt further here. The Batman has just heard from Commissioner Gordon that the Joker has escaped again:
BATMAN: [lighting up a cigarette] "How did it happen this time? Fake moustache? Did he tell you he had to step out for smokes or something?"Check it out here.
GORDON: "Actually, he disguised himself in janitor’s clothes... and...um... well, just walked out the front door, to be honest."
BATMAN: [taking long haul on cigarette] "Here’s an idea. No, I’ve got an idea, for real here, listen up. How about you don’t let any janitorial staff leave the building..." [he pauses to see if he still has the Commissioner’s full attention] "...who have BRIGHT GREEN FUCKING HAIR AND CHALK WHITE SKIN!"