Monday, February 07, 2005

Red Bull, Kabbalah, and Ashton Kutcher



We at Toner Mishap extend a hearty thanks to the gang at JewSchool for the tip on this story. But first, a word to the wise: whenever you read the word "kabbalah" in the following news item, please substitute "commercial venture masquerading as kabbalah"; thanks.
The merchandising-minded spiritualists at the trendy Kabbalah Center are launching a new Kabbalah energy drink, and they’re hoping that Kabbalah devotee Ashton Kutcher will be the face of the new beverage.

“We’re going after the Red Bull market,” said spokesman Darin Ezra. “But Kabbalah Energy Drink tastes better. And it’s infused with Kabbalah water, which is holy water.” So does it have mystical healing powers, like Kabbalah water is supposed to? “I’m not going to comment on that,” said Ezra.
The whole story is part of the gossip pages at MSNBC.

P.S. From the Red Bull website: "Red Bull® energy drink is kosher. This has been certified by the KF FEDERATION OF SYNAGOGUES, Rabbi M.D. Elzas, LONDON. Before issuing this certificate the production site and the origin of the ingredients were inspected and checked by an official of the Federation."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Arghhh!!
The Kabbalah Center is closer to a cult than to any type of Judaism. There is no such thing as Jewish holy water. The closest would be the drawing of water rituals at the end of Sukkot, something that has not been done for almost 2,000 years. One could call the Mikveh holy water of sorts, but even that is not a good description since any body of "living water", like a lake, ocean or stream is acceptable for a mikveh. Calling water holy is dangerously close to idolotry and beyond the bounds of Judaism.

Thanks for posting this babe.

Chandira said...

LOL, if it weren't so scary it would be so funny!! That was an awesome, inspired post title if ever I saw one..

Those people give Kabbalah such a bad name. They don't even classify as a decent cult, they're too dense for that. (Or not, if they're making that much $!)

Wonder why they didn't ask Madonna to do it...

B2 said...

If that "anonymous" up there is my wife, then "hi!"

If not, whoever you are, please don't call me "babe."

Chandira said...

Just been laughing my ASS off at that Yid Gear site.. I might by a T for my husband, the Nudnik one... ;-)

Hector Vex said...

Holy water eh? Where the hell did they get Jewish holy water? Milk some rabbis'?

Red Bull tastes like shit, what makes me think that any other energy drink would taste any better? Cause Ashton Kutcher is pimping it? Is he Jewish? Why not Woody Allen?

On The Mark said...

After the launch they should start looking at brand extensions and bring in Tom Cruise.